Aunt Agony II 230406

Originally posted by jam on a bread:
Ok, first of all, i'm a girl with little confidence. You know how the society tend to judge a girl by her looks. No looks=nothing. Aiya, that's why I have no friends (yes you are right, no friends, not even one that goes out with me) so I tend to do things all alone. No boyfriends (got one guy likes me but kena swayed by his friends opinions until dun like me liao).

A lot of ppl dun like me because they dun like my looks. Last time, I have a so-called friend. She said im disgusting because of my teeth. She even avoid sharing food with me for she dun want to know that my teeth have sank into it.

Thinking back, a lot of ppl vent on me or pick on me for no reason because my looks doesn't measure up. I got rejected by a guy and been called a freak. I ask for a stranger guy direction and he gave me a 'disgusted' look. My father keeps saying my legs is disgusting. Last time, I finally found a job and my manager told me to do sales (asking people to buy the products) He told me not to go to the guys for fear I might disgust them. And lots of insecure girls comparing their looks to mine cause they know I don't measure up anyways..

It's not that I dun want to make an effort to become much better, but I have no money! Everything costs like hundred bucks!! girls shld know those facial, hair and all those cost like a bomb! Help people!! it's ruining my life! my social life! I am now tearing while typing this..btw i'm just a student and I know looks is like everything to a girl!! Ahhhhhh!!! no wonde I have nothing at all!! I am given no chance!!!


You have a bruised self perception and have been constantly reinforced by the negative environment you are in. And the interesting part is you gave yourself excuses to believe in so that you will not attempt to change your status quo and dwell in this pool of depressing perception, like you are destined to remain like that forever.

You are effectively fueling yourself to think the way you wanted yourself to indulge in - you thought poorly of yourself and unconsciously breed those condition and reason why you are lousy.

'Wah.. I am so poor... but working is so hard... aiya I am just poor, so I will be poor...'

The truth is: you made yourself into such position and gradually believe your own propaganda.

Based on your last paragraph, it is clear that you have done minimal homework on the subject of 'physical beauty'. The reason for your passiveness, despite the need to improve, is very simple: you fear to confront your flaws directly. You are feeding yourself with self-made beliefs to make a huge contour of your problem without touching the actual subject.

Imagine your problem being the glass ball and you are walking round and round this glass ball, devoid of the courage to even hold the glass ball in your hands.

This is you: knowing what's wrong, ranting what's wrong and leaving it there.

Until the day you really want to change your status quo, then maybe somebody here could help, otherwise, this is merely your rant topic. The desire to change comes with the price of hard work. But firstly, if you can't even bear looking at the REAL you and telling yourself that you are an art that needs the effort to develop into one, then you can always push it into your subconscious mind and avoid like what you have been doing all these while.

The worst thing you could tell yourself is: 'I can't do it...'

Always ask 'How do I achieve it...'

When you use 'How' - you forced yourself to think of ways to achieve and not eliminate your chance completely to self and trust me, you will devise a way to achieve your 'How' and not avoid facing your flaws.

***

Physical beauty is not about the money - that's probably a quarter of the picture. You need intensive knowledge about WHAT and WHERE to improve yourself at good cost-value equation. You are probably thinking of what? Expression to lose weight? Slim Fit to enhance assets? Jean Yip beauty consultant? Lasik surgery to restore perfect vision? Haach Body and Skin care?

Woman are so insecure with themselves that these business exploit those vulnerability to their advantage, creating desires, needs and in the end, actions with paying for those services. I always believe there are alternatives to those premium services - it depends on whether you want to spent additional effort in research and to pursue them, if you don't have the money.

Woman who gym heavily, hardly find a need for slimming session and the cost they save is like more than 10 times the amount?

Then comes dress sense; you don't need designer brands to make you look beautiful. In fact, they don't. You wear the clothes and not having your clothes to wear you. You just need to know your strength/flaws and dress to either

I) Exploit on strength.

II) Hide flaws.

You will need to know what look good with you and how can you achieve them. You will need experiment and experiment comes from various decisions. And good decision comes from bad judgment. You will probably make some fashion mistake, but still, who gives a damn. You will gradually evolve and understand your niche/style.

Third come personality. Some people don't look fantastic physically, but they have an attracting personality that 'made' people thought that they are charming in some manner. You influence people to 'think' that you are beautiful will indirectly make you feel that you are indeed beautiful (Don't know if you get what I mean).

Cheers