Aunt Agony 090406

Originally posted by cloud00:

Not really a regular of sgforums but would really appreciate if some advice is given ....
One mth ago i started to get on more gd terms with a ger but we were casual friends for abt 2 years . During this one mth , we would go out for movies , dinner and other stuffs . I thought that the green signal is on cause during meals she would like feed me and i would feed her sweets ... etc
Then a few nites ago , i told her that i really like her a lot and perhaps would it be possible to take our friendship to the next level ~ but she tells me that " Dun you think its a bit too fast ??? " I agree with her so i told her that perhaps we should be friends first and give each another more time
Never did i know its going to be the end of everything cause she starts to avoid me and never reply my sms *sign
I dun know the reason for it but it may be cause i am not physically attractive enuff cause my weight is like 88 although my height is like 175cm ....
so the question is

(a) shld i just let it go ... treat everything just as like it never happen Or
(b) go on a diet casue i look presentable when i dun look fat , after which let her regret for her decision
(c) go on a diet and use all ways and methods to make her feel touched , let her know i do everything just for her and then after which dump her ~

Hai~ actually i feel like just forget everything but i feel real sad ... i dunno whether if i got the wrong signals but y cant we still be friends ???
Anyway its been 2 days since i went on a crash diet and my weight has dropped to 84Kg~


You thought that the reason was because of your weight.

It was an assumption based on how inferior you felt when you spoke about your size.

The automatic thought immediately sprung up, telling you that it must be your weight, for if it isn't, why would she reject my affection?

Have you ever thought of the fact that what she was saying may be true? Everything was too hasty... the emotions, the advancement, the chase and such? PLUS... she's probably a woman who doesn't know how to handle rejecting-of-somebody?

If you were to scroll through some previous AA cases, you will uncover similar cases like yours - being avoided after confession.

***

Your topic isn't about rejection; it's about your tender self worth being wounded once again.

If losing weight is needed to restore your confidence and esteem, by all means, just do it. It doesn't only improve your psychological state, it keeps you healthy as well.

You must first understand the fundamental of self Love before you can extend this outside of yourself. It's difficult to love somebody without having the same love for yourself - somewhat like a preacher who doesn't do what he preaches. Love comes from within and radiate outwardly and not leech Love outwardly and try to fill voids in your inner realm.

Cheers