Aunt Agony 260306

Originally posted by blueberryjam:
argh im so pissed... with myself. i've seen his true colours. why the hell did i bother looking into his eyes, and believing his lies again once more?? im stupid, im dumb, im brainless.. im blind. [Refer to Aunt Agony 220306] Seems like im in the wrong.. but then.. i just found out.. he's still him. he didnt change.. no, not at all.

when we were still tog in the past, everytime when i asked him wats he doing, he would jus say watching tv.. but now i found out, he's been using the net, and he blocked me in msn, so that he can chat with others.. and i wont know anything even if im online.. becos he would appear offline in my screen.

he even blocked my close frens in his list, afraid that my frens would see him and then give him away.. argh. ASSHOLE.

and when i logged in into his game acc.. i see names which are nt sup to be there, appeared there.. he told me he stopped contacting them, and that he had del them already. yes i went in once in the past, those names were gone.. now, i see them again. which means to say.. again, behind me, he's been contacting with alot of other girls....

godddddddddddd. what have i done to deserve this.. someone pls tell me. and i really thought he changed, to think that everytime i doubt him, he said i kept accusing him.. i felt so guilty for making his days bad.. and now.. im here feeling betrayed.. being lied to.. the second time.

to think that i sent him mails and smses saying im sorry.. and tryin to work things out for this r/s... he actually doesnt give a shyt at all..

im so glad now.. becos wat he did to me, jus let me get over it faster.. but.. im so afraid of trusting guys now.. i guess if i ever have another bf again, i will still keep doubting him and every of his moves.. hais.....


Actually you have already seen and knew what you thought you have made a discovery.

It was old news; familiar pain, issues and hurt.

Your greatest fear you pressured into your subconscious, ricocheted back into reality like a powerful spring.

Do you notice your cycle?

P.S: It's always easier to gather courage to move on, than to gather courage and repeat this cycle again.

Cheers