Aunt Agony 220306

Originally posted by blueberryjam:
i broke up with a cheating ex about 3 mths ago.. but after breaking up, he said he really miss me alot.. he regretted all that he had done to me.. he asked for a patch.. hesistating for a week later, i agreed... (i know its stupid.. but i really do miss him alot too)

he told me he will change.. and thou pple say Flirts Will Never Change.. this once-a-flirt changed. he treated me like just.. so wonderfully great.. but now the problem lies with me, i don trust him anymore.. everytime he reply or calls me slow, i keep doubting his answers, i keep suspecting him.. i dont know whats he doin behind me all the time.. to the extent that every msg i just keep reprimanding him, sometimes i think im soooo going nuts.

i asked for a breakup almost everyday.. i just find out that i really cannot trust him anymore.. theres no faith.. but he's reluctant to break, he said he really changed, and its unfair to him..

just last night.. we had a really big fight.. again, i asked for a break up, he doesnt want it.. but i keep insisting it.. saying things like "go away.. just leave me alone, u'll find some other girls very soon.. lets jus break k" i think eventually he gave up also.......

actually when we patched, i was just bored.. i just wan a bf there for me.. i thought my heart already died for him, but since he said he's gonna change, fine, we can try... but i treated him like shyt and its true that when girls don feel anymore for the guy they're in the r/s with, they'll just threaten to break when they're being "triggered" or when they "lose" in an arguement..

i cried and cried last night.. thinking what the hell did i just do.. i pushed a bf whos always been there, treating me like his precious finally, and most importantly.. loving me.... maybe i made the wrong choice.. i smsed him, saying its a hard night to slp today.. im sorry if i hurt u.. night..

i woke up with 6 msgs in my phone.... NONE was from him.... i was surprised how 'cruel' he is..... he didnt even care..... am i asking too much, or is he just doing what is needed to forget me.. today.. i woke up with swollen eyes... and my heart... feels so empty......



When you failed to understand the true essence of your break-up, you will live to go through it again. Poor judgment coupled with emotional instability, fuel this Love break-patch karmic cycle.

When you two initially came together, it was of Love.

Later, it was of habitual.

Much later? Meaningless.

When you patch back with him, the conundrum that initially CAUSED you to leave this relationship reluctantly, didn't vanish. In fact, the residue of that virulent factor remained acrimoniously. It wasn't resolved previously, nothing will change then. You are just reiterating the exact behaviour you are exuding prior before the first break up - suspicious, having constant mistrust and becoming vindictive.

Flirt will eventually change - but generally, this relationship will not 'survive long enough' to enjoy the transformation. In fact, if you are the chosen catalysis for his transformation, he will only change with his next partner. This is the Karmic Law of Cosmic Love because even if he does change overnight - you will be mortally wounded and would be too overwhelmed with fatigue to continue this relationship.

My dad was a player. Woman loved him as he is the fun Sagittarius guy. It took him about FORTY years of lifespan to have some understanding of marriage, family and the good woman he married. Thank God my mum is a simple woman. I accentuate... so fcuking simple that I reckon that her sort of simplicity is almost extinct in sg.

Can you be that simple... that it REVERSE your power to understand and to know? When a toddler hands you one hundred dollars willingly, it is because the child is too young to know the value of money. The child wouldn't even flinch when he has given you a hundred buck. Can you be like that child?

Because you cannot be hurt by things you don't understand.

Love is not about feeling it emotionally and thinking that it is a means to an end. It has to be substantial, measured by the degree your Love is coming from. All your nonchalant attitude and ill-treating is a sign of wanting attention from him. You are being defensive, yet yearning for his affection. Gradually, this confusion will bring another conclusion to your relationship with him.

And if you accept another patch cycle, you repeat that sad story over again.

P.S: Never turn your shoulder over and walked where you have travelled. Turning back doesn't heal our scars; it reminded us of it.

Cheers