CNY!

Yesterday was an ACS gathering. (Of course it was Barker Road... Duh).

Old friends... Old times... Old settings...Old favourites... Old food... Old gathering...

*Think it's about time for me to get a digital camera because such grand occasion, bo camera, really tmd... all only interested in gambling. Even the food also alot of leftovers. Really appreciate such good host by Suang and Family*

Life is fun... when you stare back at past memories.

I am getting older.

And you have people asking me when am I getting married.

WTF? Haha!

ORD still not that visible and still haven't dominate this world yet... *roll eyes*

Everything was familar, except new faces was introduced.

Like new girlfriend.

One interesting part was that those attached had pretty decent and above looking girlfriends (I am included in this statistic. Haha!)

Keep the flag flying high, guys.

Fuck lar, stop being superficial. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Even if it wasn't that case, still respect! -yunhaier



Cheers

Aunt Agony II 310106

Originally posted by idunnohow:
i am new here
lately i a bit sad cuz i juz turned 21.. and i still no bf.
prob is, ppl tink i look like i already had so many bfs but in the end i actually have none!
not that i m pretty i m v. average but i tink i noe how 2 dress. ppl hu noe me at 1st tink i have somebody or i dun care abt lookin 4 anybody. i dunno y i seem dat way.
n even my father now naggin me abt bein single 4 so long. i have lots of frens n he's still tellin me 2 b more sociable. like scared i cannot get married ah? v. irritating
all my frens gettin attached n neglectin me i also beg 2 feel v. lonely.
my sister n brother (both younger) already have steads n i still dun. my whole family is tokkin 2 me like i have sum big prob liddat.
if they nv say anythin i wldn't realise all dis.
at 1st i juz take it dat they r naggin or teasin me den 1 day i wake up n tink, yar hor y nobody eva interested in me?
nobody at all. i was frm mixed schl all e way even now.
i dress quite well, i noe abt fashion n stuff, i have guy frens (but juz frens n we neva fall 4 each other wan)
i'm v. confused. everytim i meet up w ppl i neva c 4 a long long time, they will think i have bf already. and i say no, and once sum1 insisted i was lyin.
is there sth wrong w me? dat guys dun like?
i really dunno how..
rite now i haven even had a crush on anybody in months cos i juz tink dat all guys won't eva like me somehow so no pt even givin myself trouble.
nobody ask me out b4. n i tink sum guys quite scared of me. smtmes they rather tok 2 others arnd me n not me.
how cum nobody interested in me.
i have liked ppl b4, i made it so obvious den they play along but nv eva did anything more than flirt.

sigh. by e time im workin alreadi oso no experience den how.
i dun even need a bf i juz need at least sum dating experience rite.

i haven done anythin 2 give myself bad rep or wat, i have been an ok person, nv really tok bad abt ppl, always tellin jokes. i can make frens easily w ppl but how cum nobody liked me b4?
nobody even wan 2 ask me out now?
i dun have any problems lah. i have 2 eyes a brain 1nose 1 mouth . n i get along ok w everybody. i look v normal. i tok normal. i tink normal.
advice?

n den sum guys when they noe me all they do is joke abt my looks my height (i'm 1.55) n den i ask others they say i'm ok but new guy frens i make oso do same thing 2 me like tell me "wah u not chio enuff" or stuff. i noe jokin onli but after so long wif SO MANY DIff guys i wonder if i really got problem.
i noe i dun have 2 let it bother me so much budden i really wanna noe y nobody ever interested in me even when i'm straight n i do drop big hints b4 only now i dun anymore cos i give up.

anything?
Tks.


You are a niche market. You are fine; but you are a niche product, waiting for someone who could appreciate such thingy to pass by.

Sometimes, it goes beyond that of physical and emotional boundaries. I have a Libra friend who is exactly like you; problem is that she is indecisive and tall. In the end, she also ended up with someone. (When the time comes, fate will reveal all).

Sometimes, it's because you are too 'brotherly' - all your guy friends becomes your brother (Sun/Mars in 5th house Leo) that it becomes difficult for relationship to go beyond that. Has a Virgo friend who has this problem.

Difficult for me to pinpoint what's wrong especially since I don't know you personally. But as long as your social circle maintains and widens, somebody will find appreciation in you.

P.S: Remember, your self worth is not measured by the number of BGRs or how late your first relationship comes.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 310106

Originally posted by bladez87:
ok i was chasing a girl.
her friends told me i was too rush.
like always i didnt know what was too rush.
now that i realised it. it is too late.
just a while ago, her friend gave me the most obvious hint.
she suggested that i talk to the girl face to face.
there are somethings her friend cannot say out.
her friend also invited me to her house on sat.
the girl is going too.
she said i had best talk to her after sat. take things slow and easy.
or else sat when i go, things will get very awkward.

ok. guys, time to teach me how to save this rushed courtship.

thanks...this girl means quite alot to me. i have done things i never done before for her. now that i realised this. i regret being so hasty.



CloUdiSm speaks about Morning Foundation; referring to relationship born on weak 'materials' prepared hastily. The relationship is extremely raw and vulnerable, even to a scratch and is usually caused by Uranus transiting effect.

I recommend setting your pace slower, but not abandoning the initial drive completely because chances are, it will have adverse effect if you jam brake. In simple, don't pause and give her all the freewill and space, instead give allowance, but maintain your stand. In reality, this 'mistake' is pretty fatal because even if you succeeded in getting her, negative unseen effect will spill over into your BGR. You don't really experience this negativity head-on, rather, it is likely be a highest common factor that give rise to later conflicts and issues.

Go with the plan; meet up at your friend's house (and especially watch your body language: Don't be so eager - don't gaze, but maintain good friendship contact. Care physical distance - don't avoid, yet don't hang too close). Plan what you want to say to her. Here are some pointers to take note:

I) Don't get too emotional. Wild emotions are like untamed stallions - they are dangerous. Judging you from my perspective, you are probably someone who can't control emotions well, so don't get into a situation where you get all emotional and loses your position. You must control your stance properly if you hope to achieve anything.

II) Less of 'Me' and more of 'You' type of communication. Yes, I know you love her, etc - but it's all self absorbed. You must devise a way to allow her (even if it is only an illusion) to think that she has some freewill in making decisions and that the choice she make (which is you) is a good decision BECAUSE you made her feel that it it will be.

Basically, your 'hard selling' must succeed in persuading her.

III) State timing to counter indecisiveness. If you sense that she is backing out with confusion, put time into the picture. (E.g. Yes, we understand that things are getting too fast, we shall give ourselves another 30 days to decide).

Knowing how to sell is useless if you don't know how to close the deal.

Cheers

Aunt Agony II 300106

Originally posted by Lance_han:
this will probably strike you guys here at aunt agony as a terrible irony...

it goes like this. got to know this girl sometime back, like 2-3 months back? was introed by a friend of mine. the first time we met, we instantly clicked. time flew by, from one of friendship to one of relationship we became. but soon entered another girl. i don not know of any objections she might have to us being together, but she has been spreading rumors of my girlfriend. or rather, she has been leading a pack of hounds who seem to be attacking my girl all the time, calling her all sort of comments like fatso and so on and so forth and such like.. [ she is a bit to the fat side, but this kind of things, i already long long ago overlooked.. ] all in all, it's taken a terrible toll on my gf. i told her to be strong, not to care about what others say about us and all. but somehow, it's not working. she cant accept herself for what she is. her efforts [ and failure ] to slim down is also very worrying. [ i appreciate the thought but like i said, i have already overlooked that part ] in any case, she has gone into cold turkey against me. my phone calls to her are left unanswered, my messages unreplied, even visiting her at home...she refuses to see me. contact through her friends are also unsuccessful; she doesnt say anything about it. so can someone pls advise me what i should do? what i could or should have done in my capacity as the ever loving boyfriend, i have tried and failed.what i shouldnt have done also, i have also tried and still fail. Letting go of her is not an option; though she has thought of leaving me to spare me of all the gossip that goes on about her, i have consistently said no to it. she's my love, and i'm not leaving her alone. so someone really, please, any advice..


All those vicious comments strikes at her unloving frailties, which reinforced and reminded her about how imperfect she is. Sometimes it doesn't matter how loving you are to her because in the end, her self perception is poor. Telling how much you love her and everything else will have minimal effect because the root of the problem isn't about YOUR LOVE for her. It is an infection caused by a gnawing inferiority that is decaying her personal outlook, life and relationship.

She is avoiding you NOT because you don’t love her enough. Rather, it is because she felt her unworthiness and is unable to see herself to be with someone who probably deserved someone better. This is a psychological retreat when we felt that we are unable to resolve our flaws.

If you want to dissolve this with the greatest impact, the best alternative is to go through the transformation with her (and reassure her constantly). Put facts on the table, lure her out of her cave and work on the problem. If she is overweight, then exercise and diet... with YOU, together with her, in this hardship. Apart from that, raise the stake - transform her outlook, dress sense and everything else that empower her with greater physical, emotional or spiritual sense.

We must understand that although we don't have to take people's comment personally, their critics can be a powerful source of drive to tap on.

In the end, it doesn't matter whether we attain 'their standard'; what matters is that we improve our self image and self perception.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 300106

Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
I've been seeing this girl recently. We both sort of liked each other, and have been going out regularly. Although we're not official a couple, due to various reasons. She's afraid of commiting to me, while I don't mind waiting.

she can be really sweet and kind and gentle. she's really talkative although sometimes she can be self centered a little.

the main problem is that, due to different lifestyle, alot of friction between us.

she always finds fault when i can't accompany her chat till wee hours in the morning. I'm serving NS. Also, phone bill have been very ex. $500 was my last bill.

also, while we have been intimate, she was upset when i didn't want to go all the way with her.

due to this, she told me a friend of hers wanted to screw her, and she agreed to let him.

of course i'd be upset about this.

although we're not official, but this is kinda a first relationship for me. letting go is really hard. but what should i do?

This is girl is not a typical girl you find on others. In fact, she has developed a certain attitude and belief towards Love and Relationship which you have to understand that FIRST before you could put any logics into your plight.

If she has strings of ex before you, chances are, you are also part of this statistic. Regardless, she is probably a Siren (AOS), so if you are inexperienced in handling such characters... I don't advocate you trying her out, especially if you are looking for serious relationship without complication.

She has shown some blatant aversion to commitment. It doesn't matter what actually happened; what matters is the ideology she is equipped now. When we talked about the inability to commit but has the ability to be intimate... this actually revealed an insidious truth about her current self - you probably hold no chance and even if you did, you merely fulfill a certain need that is visibly lacking in her emotional structure.

She is a Predator; a woman indulged in mercy sex. The roles are exchanged and you felt the pressure of her being on the dominating side. It stultified your masculine position and you wonder how should you react when she come aggressive.

IMHO, you are spell-bounded by her well crafted seduction spell. I don't know you personally... I also cannot say that you are in love for sure and I believe that you won't know the answer as well. Your coming tracks are perilous; you are not trained to handle them. You can ignore me and press on, but I am quite sure you won't survive this game ultimately.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 260106 (Part I & II)

Part I

Originally posted by MiX Metal:
I've always been ask this question, "Y are u still single" a friend of mine told me once, that all the girls that i know are pretty so why am i single ?? I've been in a relationship once but it did not work out but we are still freinds and until today, we still meet up once in awhile for coffee and she's marrieds.

it always started wif me having feelings for a girl, but once I got to know them better, some to the point where they would tell their deepest darkest secrets ... its those that they would not even tell their fellow gal frens.... I will feel that I'll treasure their friendship more and tell myself that what if things dun work out and i might lose a friend becas of my studpidity. someone ever told me that a gal fren of my told him that she got sick of waiting for me and decided to move on .....

can someone give me some advise on what i should do ???

P.S: I am a Pisces


Probably you are so good at empathy and absorbing 'environmental' feelings that it becomes quite difficult for you to place the bridge on the divide between Love and friendship. You excel in connecting with friends emotionally, which probably grant you the ability of having platonic friend without romantically involved with one.

Your passive nature could also influence you the lack of drive to do much. Maybe it's not doing nothing; you may feel that a relationship or not may not matter as much IF the bonds between two is strong.

Explore yourself and you may find your own answer. We live for ourselves, not that of others.

Cheers


Part II

Originally posted by MiX Metal

part of what you say about me is quite true except for 1 thing, it is not my lack of drive to do much that got me in this situation, its jus that I always feel that the friendship or bond that i share with them are very important and that i do not wish to do anything to damage it.

I guess unless I am able to learn to take the risk, I'll always end in the same situation over and over again ....... for now, I am happy that she has found someone that is able to give all the love and attention that she needs....

Thats what friends are for right ?????


This causes you the lack of drive to do anything because you don't wish to 'damage' your friendship, isn't it? Or to tune my words, you find yourself unable to work upon the relationship further than what you are given.

It doesn't matter how the it is rearranged... a fact remained: you did nothing else.

Read Orange's post carefully as it is something I would like to tell you as well.

You can forever try to be a passive fish and gets nothing ultimately. Or you could attempt a sudden decision to forgo that stability for a moment and you might actually gain a whole new world.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 230106 (feat Parka)

[quote]Originally posted by rainee:
[b]Because sex is always going to come into the friendship.

How true is this :?:

Case: Both Drunk... kissed and hugged... halted when it became anywhere further. Friendship in identity crisis.

[/b][/quote]


The question whether guys and girls can remain in PURE platonic friendship is highly subjective. To me, it is definitely possible because my life revolves quite a bit of platonic friends, but this doesn't apply to everyone else. In fact, based on my experience, some people actually made use of 'platonic friendship' as a facade to further their personal agenda because since a relationship is impossible in whatever context, the next best thing is probably such 'undefined' relationship.

He said he had the 'accidental intention' - I recalled two old theories, which probably explains the above phenomenon and gives you some insight about him.

I) Guys are unable to see themselves in a committed relationship with you because something pretty major, in you, that is missing (this is purely standing from his POV) and it is anti-seductive to him (not exactly a flaw in you, just an unacceptance in his view). And this causes them to be unable to bring themselves to settle in a relationship with you. Sometimes this 'major thingy' is due to certain external factor, but usually, it's from within. (This is classified under Charlie Factor in CloUdiSm remix III)

A big however is that a committed relationship works different from a non-committed version. He probably felt that IF it was the latter, something could work out. This theory has an ironic statement: '... Very often, guys could find themselves having causal sex with girls they have no feelings for, but when it comes to the one they truly love, they may hesitate...' (I won't be explaining the rational of this statement because it will be long and would be another topic altogether).

II) CloUdiSm state Ricocheted Love as Love after Lover's confession (also applicable to rapid disseminating of known news through others). It doesn't matter whether the seemingly confession is rejected or not. The effect of Ricocheted Love will take root after obvious signs of liking, by other party, is given. The one on the receiving end may not have any liking at all, but over a period of time, liking forms. (I also won't be explaining the rational and factors of why it will turn out this way because it will be long and would be another topic altogether).

Alcohol is the catalysis of what took place. When alcohol is overly consumed, our subconscious (Moon) takes control. Suppression, abstinence and social norms will vanish, when our subconscious takes over and it reveals a portion of our inner realm.

***

In my opinion, this scenario isn't exactly too big of an issue. It didn't go out of hand and you are still in control. Put it behind you and smile because you learn something new about your 'platonic friend'.



Cheers

Aunt Agony 210106

Originally posted by Hellraiza:[b]hello people.
Recently i got together with this really sweet malay girl. Everything was fine until her dad found out i was Christian. Now he says we can't be together unless i convert to Islam, which of course i won't. So i'm kinda in a dilemma now. Advice anyone?

This is probably one of the few difficult hurdle to overcome.

And could be a game of endurance.

Years back, I remember my uncle (chinese) brought my aunt (malay) to ROM, without her parents knowing and got married. Her parents was furious and like wanna disown-kind of drama mama. Years later... all the children grew up. With alot of communication, in the end, also relent and accept. I mean your OWN grandchildren leh... now already 20++, got a good career and gf.. probably planning to get married... and somemore the marriage is harmonious kind, not those screwed up ones.

If you wanna pursue such relationship, be prepared for the challenge ahead. If you can't take what's in front, don't begin.

P.S: Jupiter affliction is not easy to handle in BGR.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 200106

Originally posted by Mao x 2:
just because you want to concentrate on your career and have a better life in terms of monetary?
Just want to find out how you guys feel about it. ;)


It depends on what you are seeking. We all have different aspects in life that greatly matter to us. Some people long for imperfect-someone-but-perfect-relationship. Some people feel that their destiny in life lies in the high altitude this career could probably levitate them. Some people seek for all the knowledge in life. Some people believe that God is everything to them... and the list goes on. When you try to judge which is more important, you are like asking '...the arms or the legs, which is more important?'

In fact, they are equally as important because each of these complements other aspects in your life. You could excel in either one of these aspects (say career), but terribly sucked at the other (say relationship), in the end, your fulfilment in life is so much less than one with average career and 'average'-relationship.

What's the use of having strong arms but frail legs?

Generally speaking, sentimental signs like Cancer and Pisces would probably value relationship more than other signs. Signs like Capricorn will probably feel that career is VERY important... probably outweigh that of a relationship.

God is usually fair enough to reimburse our flaws with other talents, so when we decide to work hard on this talent, many times, we unconsciously forgo the effort to improve on our negativity. Over the years, this negativity flare up and because our confidence lies so much in our strength, our mind attempt to 'substitute' our strength onto our flaws, reassuring ourselves of our esteem and self identity. Then, we become fearful of our own flaws because we are so successful in whichever area of life our talent has brought the good harvest, that when we are brought back to reality through our weakness, we are unable to accept it consciously.

E.g.

This rich old man will never accept the fact that he has wrecked personality leading to wrecked relationship. Or a lack of family bonding, leading to family feud. He could probably own the world, yet unable to conquer the realm of relationship... of all levels. It is difficult for him to reverse this trend as it is easier for him (and his mind) to employ the superiority of his monetary richness to compensate whatever failed relationship he has with his love ones.

'You got a screwed up love life...'

'Fcuk you! I got money and you don't!'

Cheers

Aunt Agony 150106

Originally posted by BorninNovemeber:
I have repressed myself alot. My mother used to control me alot and i used to defy her alot too. And her constant nagging and negativity affect me as i was growing up. It build a part of me but then i choose a life of mine own when i went into JC and UNI and stay at hostel.. stay away from my mother.

I don't spend money much. I don't spur on fashionable stuffs but deep inside me, i know im vain and crave for stuffs to beautify myself but then i control myself really well.

My mum told me to spend on a shirt that can last long. I think you can't always wear a top for three years straight.. for eg.. an old op top.. you cant wear it for three yrs and be kinda boring.

To tell you the truth, i seldom spur on clothing, accessories. Infact, i avoid shopping and hanging out in town for quite sometime. This affect my company of friends and so i always hang out with people who don't follow the tide of fashion etc. I love and respect these people and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them but then there is something wrong with me. It's about how i feel about myself or my character... i just don't feel that i have the same interest as them in many ways. Most importantly, i have difficulty findin shopping khakis and having the same taste as me now................

And becos i rarely beautify myself, i do not attract the right crowd as in crowd of my taste. It's not the abt the 'in' crowd but mst of these people have this pattern of personality... more adventurous and more involved with the tide of the world.. it's stereotyping here... i wish i can attract more crowd to find out who im really am.

Sometime, i don't know what i am anymore. i have kept myself alot since young, ever since i was bullied in primary school and parents do not understand me. it is this repression which condition me to have certain beliefs in myself but i know some of them are not real... i know i can have better life.. sometime i try to keep myself happy and tell myself how contented i should be with things i have had now but then my heart does not tell the same story..

i have been in self-denial for many times. Most of the time, due to external factors such as to please my mother and most importantly not make her angry. I did it becos i love her.

Most of the time, it is about what i have to do and rather what inspire me to do. For example, it's my responsibility to do this stuffs but then i don't feel like doing it, i could rather spend my time on more meaningful things( to me). Most of the time, it about me who follow my moral values but then it's rather meaningless when the heart don't feel like doing it so...

It's a terrible feeling that your heart and your head don't agreed with one. it's a terrible feeling to deny yourself but what if it is for the better good? Sometime, it feel worthwhile but sometime i wonder what will happen if i just follow my heart...



Very heavy maternal influence (likely to have planetary affliction in 1st, 4th, 5th, 11th, 12th house and especially Moon).

You are an intelligent man; to enable you to enlist into a local JC and university, probably means that your mental and logic development is relatively decent. You understand your own situation, with regards to the emotional side of your life that is badly affected because of your deep-maternal influence. You probably feel restricted, confine in a world where your mum construct a rigid standard and expects you to follow tightly. Values... morals and all the other knowledge and information flowing into you from your mother and has to be upheld at all times.

Your self identity is in a crisis. This has led to a contrasting display of personality to the world that doesn't tally with your actual true self. What you are feeling emotionally is the YOU wanting to liberate from this domineering influence... life has inflicted into you. It reflects clearly on your thinking, like how you want to dress yourself (self identity), how you want to mingle with new crowds (self identity) and most important - how you want to discover yourself (self identity).

You must understand that you are ABLE to control all this new found 'desire' or 'new options/routes' in life is because of the suppression you are so used to it. It SUPPRESSED whatever weak energy you have, to pick a different way of life (could be your 'actual' way) and you translate it into good emotional control. If you put some thoughts into them, it could be due to passiveness and not good control that is hindering you from doing anything. And this passiveness is indeed a psychological ill product of your early developing years.

Before you can attempt to walk your own life, you must source for the courage to change them. You don't have to rebel (Uranus influence) openly, but you can try all sort of alternatives to bring to where you want to go. If you can't see a distant future, learn to make short-term goals and watch your own progression.

As for your motherly influence - communicate compromise and put some enlightenment into your own domestic environment. I am not you; I don't know exactly what's wrong, but the basic of truth is that most relationship-bonds-related issue needs communication to resolve and dissolve. You may not be able to change everything into your ideal situation, BUT, certainly, things will be less intense and gets better with proper understanding and communication.

You are a human being.

You lead your own path to destiny.

If you have a religion, explore them.

Cheers.

Nonsense (while waiting for HQ to call me)

I have to construct a topic before my mobile rings and set me out of the house. 我想我在这时侯。。。在一个人空间。。。默默的等待。。。也不时激发了我的无聊个性。

I am going out...

I am going out...

I am going out...

I am going out...

I am going out...

I am going out...

I am going out...

I am going out...

I am going out...

I am going out...

I am going out...

I am going out...



我没有乱写啦！ 靠!

P.S: I realise some of my own blog post makes utter no cow sense.

(出门前的最后一个留言^_-)

Aunt Agony II 140601 (feat Parka)

Originally posted by Mudslide:
She wasnt like that when we are studying together ....it was a nearly 180 degree total change , what was wrong , what's really wrong ? :(

We just started working as temp , while the meantime to secure and looking for perm position. She started to become cold towards me , it wasnt like that when she was working. Her superior demanded her to work OT ...I told her off ...I told to stop work OT until late nite , I commented on her superior as a selfish and mean superior who doesnt care about subordinate . I admit I was incorrect to say this . Of course , we took our stand and had a fight . After some thinking, I apologize to her....

The above wasnt the worst , sad to say , we had another fight recently, it was worst fight we ever had since we hv be going out for the 6 months . I yelled at her , asking her what she wanted. She was annoyed at my friend who said something who is unpleasant on both of us...I thought she kept mun when I spoke to her ...it was clearly an communication not only btw me and her , but also btw my friends ...I shouldnt be greedy to ask my gf and friends togther...She question me why did I yell at her only when her friends are in the wrong too....

I reprimanded my friends without her knowing ...she thought i will not do this ..yes I did.. I also reprimanded myself .....why did I yell at her ...she told me she sacrifaced her time to accompany me with my friends rather than her family , she broke down crying ....

I was guilty , terribly guilty , why did I yell at her ? Why didnt I think of her situation instead of yelling at her ? I feel like exploding rite now ... this thing has been in my mind for the past few days , cant think of a way to solve it ..

Although the things have calmed, I can sense her coldness towards me , she tried to heat up things ...but apparently something is wrong , i can sense ...I have apologised to her already ...I dun know what more can I do ....I begin to doubt myself ...


You have shamed her in front of your group of friends when you yelled at her. This Leo girl's ego is bruised and her self esteem wrecked. You can probably do anything to a Leo, but to ruin his/her ego and esteem because once you do that, the process can be quite difficult to reverse.

She has gradually become immune to your numerous apologies on issues. You kept apologizing and it makes your sorry very insignificant (even when you may not be wrong).

The root of this conundrum may not be about forgiveness - she is reviewing your overall attitude and personality. She is acrimoniously cold towards you is because she is trying not to be emotionally connected to you as a trigger mechanism to protect her emotional realm.

She is thinking.

Very hard in fact.

About this guy, whom she loved, on his character and that his apology has no meaning to them because at the end of the day, history reiterates.

So... what are you going to do with yourself, first?



(yunhaier X Parka)

Cheers

Aunt Agony 140106

Originally posted by binarynwitz:
I know i'm a very possessive and short-tempered guy, but i tried to control myself with regards to my girlfriend, but sometimes, i really cannot control myself.

Incident:
We were eating together in Macdonalds when my girlfriend were talking to this other guy (who used to fancy her) about that guy's crush, in front of me. The problem is, she was having a headache before, and wasn't even responsive to me. Yet she talked to him like nothing happened to her. Then she didn't even tell me who that guy likes. I don't really care who he likes, but the point is, she refuses to tell me. We made a promise not to keep anything from one another. If she cannot tell me, at least don't wave it in front of me and yet keep me out of reach.

The problem is, she have told me far more personal and darker things than this stupid little thing in the past. I'm starting to have doubts. I know she still loves me and i really love her, but i'm starting to have doubts about how she really feels..

And i know i sound childish and a MCP. So no need for that.


Possessiveness usually cannot be deflected by logics, that's is to say that the poison stirs in emotions that cannot be remove, or rather, with much difficulty. I believe that people who have possessive tendency (which also means petty jealousy), can only reduce it to a certain extend because MCP has this gnawing insecurity and love=possession-like attitude and justify them psychologically as love for the other person.

In the end, from thoughts, it sews into habit and personality.

They may not be entirely wrong, but definitely, there are much healthier way to lead a relationship. And 'healthy' living for the relationship could be the key to life and death of the BGR.

Cheers

Aunt Agony II 080106

Originally posted by strival:
My FIRST LOVe ON her !! True storYZzz !!

Story about how me fall in lovE on her....

Two year before.. i been post to new class tat time i don really noe any person in my class, i am very shy person and very anti social personz there some girl in my class but i don really wan know them. As my character i don wish to noe them well.. i just like to be myself !!

After some month, i noe quite alot of my classmate. MosT of them are friendly to me !! i don joke alot in front of them and i don talk alot in class too !! i just wish to end my schz fasTEr and go home sleep as my house in tpy! Got one time, my classmate girl cum talk to me, she named jerlin.. i just normal talking to her !! i don really wan noe her more cos i not gd speaking wif girl! After some day,We been msg often, we been a just gd frez onli !!

AFter few week, we been chatting wif her on phone about schz work,about our class person and alot alot alotz!! aT firSt i really dunno wat to talk to her but i feel tat chatting wif her quite enjoy as i not a gd speakingz wif her. Somemore she got alot of thing to siad! i just enterti her .. and i don usually talk wif her in sch also !

Soon our schz hoilday start! been quitEz nervous coS i been firsT time dating A girl go outZ !! we just go eat,talk alot of joke,Said pp bad thing sometime.. oppSz.!

After few day, i all the time wanted to date her go out walk walk watch moive, juSt go out wif her veRy enjoy, fun and got alot of thing to do! she very social personz to me !!

Got one daY i first time in my life going out wif her whole night in orchaRd... and so sorry tat she very sleepy tat day and her head put on my shoulder for resting !

Since tat daY,I found ouT tat i really really fall in love wif her le.. buTz i don daRe to siad out.. aS i noe we just fRez onli ! she also told me We jusT frez onli !!

After our sch hoilday, we been back to schz ! Before i going to sch, havE thinking alot taT when i saw her,i dunnoz wat to said to her le. I fall in love wif her and i dunnoz how to do! I been stress alot tat time when i face to her in class and i feel tat i nth to talk to her .

I so pai sai facing her and i really don wish her to noe i fall in love wif her. I noe myself.. if i like a ger, i wont give up buT i noe she realli treat me as gd fRez! I been thinkingz y u wan treat me so nice last time and i so regret tat she treat me so gD tat make my heart melt and fall in lovE wif her! As she the first girl in my life who treat me so well and willing to go out wif me , like chat wif me in phone !!

i really appericate buT shE dunnoz tat she like tat treat me alsoz make my heart fall in love wif her ! i too easy heart soften... !!

Since i find out tat i lovEd her, i been tryingz myself wherther i should told her anot? i sCared i told her, she wont talk to me againz.. AS i know she well she will confirm shockeD and don wish treat me well againz !!

AfTer few daY,i been thinking alot anD make my decision! i try to make her angry in class , try not to talk to her and try to siad her baD thing so my heart wont like her ! i noEz tat i been so selfish and overdoing make her so angry and know tat wat i done already done! i muSt overdoing so tat my heart will let go!!

After few month, i nv talk to her and nv msg nv call !! many pp talking about us.. i don wish to let our classmate know about our problem! i noE most of my classmate will hate me even jerlin also will hate me forever butz really hope tat she will noe tat waT i done is well for her !! i don Scare her tat i lovE her !! i really don wan said tat as i noe she wont like meZ as she think tat i jusT a ah beng who like to scold bad word,baD guy tat not suitable for her !

buT wat i done already done.. hopEz when gradute tat time.. i will msg and told her tat wat i done to make her hate me cos of hER !! they dunnoz tat i mosT heart pain to see her so sAdz iS ME... No one can understand my feeling for her... !! it not normal like her.!

i already deep loved her all the timez.!!

Since we nv talk, i find out tat my method of nv talking to her is useless! my heart so heartpain tat i almost everyday night thinking of her even in schz i thinking her !

since tat day she cRy for me tat i treat her so baD! i verY feel tat i am bastard in the world and also my heart tat time been breakz le! Tat time i been found tat she got care for me at least coS i alway think she nv care for me at all since sch reopen !

shE of cos will hate me buT she dunno tat y i wan to do until like tat buT i no chancE face to her and said tat i love u alot since sch hoilday!! she been busy in class wif my classmate.. i no chance face to her when she alone but i noe she wanted to noe wat happen.. y i become like tat buTz did she really caRe about my feeling.. i been thinking tat she wont know my thinking. !!

Alot of my bro said i so stupid make her hate me.. !! buTz i rather i suffer alot than let her know i been waiting for her very long!!

when tat day she birthday come, i saiD to her and she knoe tat i been like her.. she know tat long ago as she feel tat i doing make her know tat i liked her !!

Too bAd she already siad no feeling for me and tat time she have bf since tat dayzz !! mY heart been breakz le in my life, i dunnoz how to face her next time in class and i no mooD doing anything ! i feel like die ! i really don wish go schz ,don wish study! we everyday same class and i cant forget her... ! Everyday having feeling for her, u tell me how to treat her as frez !! I really cant let go her !!

I been thinking whole day tat i really cant treat her as frez coS i really cant do it... i really deeping feeling for her le.. anD i already crazy for her.. !! i see her everyday... i cant forget her..

WAt i saiding wanted to said tat time..is i really wan give up my life le... ! i hope jerlin really can kill me... and i wont be so stress problem againz... !!

and she noe me well.. wat i said, i will do it ! Tat time i feeling like die but i don wan her so gulity if i really die!

After she reject me,we nv talk and feel so pai sai when faced her! Everytime saw her msg and i noe tat her bf msg her... i been felt so jealous but i cant do anythingz!!

since she break my heart, i nv been sleep in the night, no mood study,no mood talking to pp andZ don wish go schz at all..

EVeryday face her.. i don know wat to said !! My heart cant heal upz.. !! it take a second to know a person ,it take a min to love someone.. butz i take lifetime to forget someone!

FirsT time cryingZ tat i been heartpain alot alot alotz! I been hurt by her very pain and i noe myself well tat noting can make me happy againz and be myself again!

I been nv sleep at all since tat day, i been thinking her alot and i been playing computer whole night for half a year and nv study, go sch sleepingz !

Been thinking alot of our gd memory going out together tat time buT she don think like tat..T o her.. iT just a normal frez day ouT buT to mE it been my life so happy ever had! shE dunnoz the mosT suffer person iS mE ! i vERy xin gu, i canT let go and my hearT hurt alotz. No one can understand my feeling tat time!

To her, she said wat she said .. she really mean it ! buT one ting shE dunnoz about her baD poinT tat,she nv Care about wat she siad tat hurt my feeling ! she wont know i been suffer alotz for her! shE wont noe one ! i know her character well,

CoS of her i try break my friendship wif her.. so tat i can give her happiness wif her bf togetherz rather than a guy who ah beng cant better then her bf tat timez..

since she call me last year her birthday, wat i in my mind is.. i really don wish her give me chance! i jusT wish she will forgive me tat i make her so angry and sad tat time! i willing to make up all my time for her as long she will forgive me... !!

After knowing she been breaking up wif her bf, i been calling her and asked wat happen as she and her bf stead for ten month very long le and i find out her bf so stupid to ask her break for mE i already happy if can wif her together as she really a nicE girl !

sincE she told me she don trust guy anymore,i been so sAD tat i first time in my life see her so hurt pain and i wish i can replaced her ex bf now.. At least i can prove to her i will do better than her exstead ..

after tat incident, i been swear myself i will try myself to love her and wont changed my heart even wif her together! I wanted to do alot alot alot of thing to make her happy anD i try myself i promise wat i do and i will try to do for her!

wat i done for her just wanted her to noe tat no all guys are baDz.. At least got a guy who lovEd her for two year if change heart , two year ago i been already change heart for another girl buT i nv.. !

i just a sentimental guy who loved a girl alot alot .. nV give up on her at all ! too bad she nv think like tat... !!

she character.... !! she very attutide gal.. she very anti social
bad point : she don feel tat the person beside her is sadz.. !! she nv go console tat personzzZ !! she cant feel it...
shE really dunnoz the word she saying can hurt a person alot alot alotz....
she really like said about her thing alot butZ she nv give tat person a chance to said about their own problem... !!
she dunnoz tat she like give pp attutide but when u give pp attutide make sure tat person got anything wrong anot...
She nv care about other pp feelingz... !!


her thinking and her type guy in BGR: is she wan a boyfrez who shown care for u ... give u freedom... who can serious listen wat yur saidingz.. !! a guy who really shown alot of concern for u ... !! sad will cheer u upz.. sometime will give u suprise ritez.. !! and a trusT alsozZz !! also speak in manner.. also must know u quit well .. !! must treat u very wellz... !

she promise give me three month to stead !!
she wish i give her freedom...
she said she don wish i keep calling her everyday.. very irrating..
she said i always stress her... !! i alway said i love her i lover her in msg and talking to her... !! she very hate it.. !!
she said tat my characther very childishz... !! don serious listen wat she said to me.. !! not i nv listen... is she saiding word hurt me alotz.. said until i really so bad stress her alot... i just keep quiet... nv said anything backz.. !! she saiding very hurt pp feelingZzz !!
most in important tat she siad no feeling for me.. she don have chemistry for me.. !!
she said i not her type she wan !!
How.... any give advicE !!
how to make her fall in love wif me... !!
she said she very sick of my character i done... !!
our conversion in phone also not gd... she sometime said some time hurt me.. like u give up ar... u not my type... i really wan talk to her another topicz... !!
but i nth to said ... alway let her shoot me .... !! make it wan quarrel

i wan to do sumthing to make her have feeling for me... !!
she everyday workingz...
when she off also go out wif her frez no time for me...
what i can do onli send her homez four time a week...
and she also wish i don alway send her home everyday.. she don likez... !!

i dunnoz her thinking is wat... !! i just wan to show my concern as a boyfrez...
i cant let her go off... i already love her alotz.. .



You are suffering from serious esteem deficiency and twisted definition of Love that is form from delusional messages you inherited from media exposure and other channels. All sort of self-justifying love and hatred drama-mama throughout your topic (from common heart wrenching phrases to lengthy waits equates to faithfulness) are fuelling this unhealthy emotional engine.

Your root of problem doesn't lie with her; in fact, the entire cause of this sad plight is because of your own doing. You have serious inferior complex that obstruct you from accepting love and being loved. Likely, this wrecked subconscious derived from your early childhood.

You are unable to accept Love when it is presented to you and you return Love with nonsensical dealings which will spur resentment and bitter moments. What the fcuk is Love-her-but-I-cannot-tell-her-so-I-make-her-hate-me?

CHILDISH! I tell you.

The truth is that you are unable to receive this reality that you are actually lovable and have someone extend care and concern over your life. YOU REJECTED that notion and REJECTED her affection because of your blinded inferiority thoughts that binds you from the goodness that you could enjoy and that this world is actually painted with colours. You dull them with your stupidity, which was breed from poor self outlook.

You kept entertaining yourself with a biased truth - that she will never accept you and you can only be friends with her because you are so afraid of rejection. In the end, it became a self fulfilling prophesy when you MADE her reject you and trigger your most feared scenario... that it became impossible with you and her.

Now you can only gaze at her dust trail as she sped off into a new chapter in her life. She resisted your attempts to woo her because you have lost the chance she has previously gave to you. There is no reason why she should love someone she has no interest with... now. You panic and gripped her further... resulting in a friendship bleeding and hemorrhage.

Gradually, you became an unconscious pest.

This becomes a vicious karmic cycle and when this friendship is gone forever, it trigger your next feared scenario - a complete sever of bonds.

Do you see a pattern here?

You thought of something negative... it wasn't like this... but in the end, it became like this when you unconsciously work towards this negativity. Your soul screamed a warning, that this has become a reality and you justify with 'I knew will become this way!!'

Self fulfilling prophesy.

***

You cannot Love others without understanding that self love must happen before you can extend this love to others. This is a breach in the Sixth law of Love (The best thing we can do to Love and help our partners is to love ourselves).

She presented a critical lesson here: that if you continue to harbor such definition of love, which resulted from poor psychological state, history will reiterate itself and that it would be difficult for you to find fulfillment in relationship.

Start loving yourself.... improve yourself... and most importantly, get to know yourself. Banish negative thoughts and quit being an irritant in her eyes. For a start, retreat for a period of time for self reflection and enlightenment. Be a hermit: rethink and preview your situation. It gives you and her some time off.

If it has become impossible for you and her (Relationship or friendship), learn acceptance and move on. To overly cling unhealthy is a sign of negativity, which also hint at inferiority complex.

You need to resolve this damaged 'self' problem.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 080106

Originally posted by yuntian:
sorry this post repeated ....i post wrongly....


tanks for the comments, replies and suchs....
realli feel very enlightened and touched by all yr replies....realli...

after some thought, i came up with this theory(or thought)....

wat i find ironic is tt ( generally, apply to everyone, i think..) is tt when u reject someone, its because tt u find him(her) ~undesirable(maybe not pretty enough? attitude sucks? yada, yada)....
therefore, u r 'superior', have a choice, and is so called the 'better' person...

but, when someone( tt u like~ of course :D ), rejects u (FOR THE SAME REASONS)....even if he(she) dun say it out....

it sucks...and it's ironic.....

wat do u guys think....tats wat i feel now, and tt promped mi to start this thread....

..as usual, pls post all yr comments, suggestion, and if u tink im crapping, can slap mi(verbally) if u wan.... :D p.s.~ if u dun understand wat im saying....can ask la....



Nobody like rejections, therefore it is natural to feel 'sucks'.

And you are saying that the person who issues the rejection, holds the power to make the decision and thus, putting him/herself high up in a pedestal, which implied 'superiority'.

Does it ever happen IF Love saturate within her psyche and insinuate her to be in a relationship with you? Without considering vast possibilities, a simple equation would be if love was present in her, she would naturally desire a relationship with you and if it never existed, this desire will not be available as well.

So whoever that accepted that BGR proposal, technically, he/she have to be 'inferior' in order to accept the relationship? Because he/she has to bring to your level, which suggested on a lower plane, when she actually had the power to be above all?

In reality, there are actually people who feel 'inferior' when they are in the position of 'being chased' and not necessary at the apex they are offered.

Inferiority and superiority complex is a state of mind. It only reflects the person overall esteem.

***

Love is Freewill.

This is the First Law of Love.

The birth of relationship is based on individual freewill.

P.S: Love may be uncontrollable factor, but a relationship is within our span of control. (CloUdiSm Remix III)

Cheers

Aunt Agony 070106

Originally posted by papercut87:
my bf of 3 mnths recently started gettin easily irritated with the things i say n do, n similarly i do get irritated by his actions.. our characters are kind of like the same.. we're both quite stubborn n refuse to admit whos in the wrong.. thus we engage in alot of small quarrels but we alwaez sort things out together after a few hours.. (this hasnt helped us in gettin closer though..) so a few daes later, the same thing will occur... is this a sign of a breakup tat wud take place in time to come? never had a huge n heated argument with him over major issues b4 though..

also, in the past, we used to hv so mani things to talk abt everytime under the sun.. now we're almost left with nothing to talk about... so is this another sign..?


This is the beginning of two souls coming together, attempting to blend into each other's life style. When you have resistance from both sides, either in attitude or in kind, you experience scenario like these.

Sometimes, it is due to incompatibility, while others could be due to early friction that could be solved through compromising each other, if that's what you people wants.

Relationship is not about putting two separate individual together; it's about blending them into harmony. Lots of fine tuning and adjustments is essential to achieve this harmony.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 040106

Originally posted by rainee:
How can you tell? If he/she is the One?

In books and movies, it is often portrayed as the instinct telling the main character that this is the person he/she will be with for the rest of their lives. Does it work the same way in reality


Human being never think rationally, despite how rational he/she tells you.

In fact, ALL our decision is emotional based.

We make decision based on our feelings and justify using our logics.

Therefore, our heart is 24 times stronger than our mind.

The One is a myth.

It depends on which perspective you are holding.

People talks about God... but until we breathe our last, we will not get to see God personally, or the truth on whether God existed in the first place.

So what matters here?

To lead a fulfilling life and make the best out of it while you are still alive, isn't it?

Similarly, 'The One' and God may be important, but in reality, we just have to focus our attention on our present, as our future is indirectly shaped by our present.

Do not devalue a relationship just because it is missing out a soul mate feeling or to linger in a 'bad' relationship just because you felt the soul mate feeling. You will NEVER know if it is a soul mate feeling or a karmic relationship (unless through some means... e.g. Astrology).

The truth is: karmic relationship produce the same vibes as soul mate feeling.

Cheers

New Year Resolution

很久没有用中文了！

今天，很荣欣。。。I am going to state my New Year Resolution.

I) Build back health, exercise and 回去跳舞！

II) Pen down more CloUdiSm shit and have attain new, astrological learning, heights.

III) Find a Job after ORD (179 working days left)

IV) Master more songs （Keyboard）.

V) Write another new story.

VI) MORE DOPE SHOES, CLOTHES AND EVERYTHING ELSE! 哈哈哈哈哈哈！

听起来不会很难。。。 对吗？ 哈哈哈哈！



P.S: [To read, pls go View, Encoding, then change to Unicode (UFT-8)]

Cheers

Aunt Agony 030106

Originally posted by bcoz_i'm_worth_it:
I need advise.. Anyone can help mi??

She is my ex stead n is e 1st gal I truly in luv wif.. 4 yrs ago she dump me n hurts me deeply.

Nov 2005, she starts to contact me back n she wan to meet me. I have a very complicated feeling b4 I meet her. Of coz I wish to meet her coz I reali miss her but I scare tat I will fall for her again. Tat wat in my mind b4 I meet her.

We finally meet up. We share a very happy time recap of our beautiful memories. She tells mi tat she was very sorry abt last time n she was very regret. She say so far I am e only guy tat care n devotes her. After den, we meet up regularly ard her void deck to chit chat n joke ard. We r more den frenz, we r like soul mate tat share each other problems.

Thing happen as wat I expected. I reali fall in love wif her. I can’t control my feeling. I had tell her my feeling n her ans tat she has feelin for me oso but e problem is tat she already have a bf n they has been together for 2 yrs.

Her bf is now servicing ns so we only can msg n meet during weekday. Her weekend and public holiday have to accompany her bf.
I feel tat I am sort of her scandal coz we always msg each other till late nite n meet up without letting her bf noe. She even has another phone line for me to msg her so tat her bf wun found out. Although we r purely fren nv even hold or hug each other. I very feel bad to her bf. He sure hurts deeply if he found out n oso I dun wish tat mi gf does tat to mi in e further.
I already try to control mi feeling toward her. My feeling is all kept in my heart. Tat hurts men.

Did she noe tat she r hurting both me n her bf?? Do she noe how much I suffer during those weekends especially xmas n new yr eve. I was so lonely n miserable. Wat I can do is to wait for her msg every nite. She only noe how to complain to me abt he bf. She say her bf only noe to play game dun reali care abt her. She den have to help to wash n iron his army uniform. If tat so y u still wan to be wif him??

She did tell me tat she can’t give me anything. She say she scare to hurts me again. I wondering y she wan to contact mi in e beginning. I reali wan to noe wat was in her heart?? Do I stand a place in her heart?? Or she need me juz bcoz she r lonely when her bf in camp??

I always think tat I wun lose to her bf. I have e looks, gd character n I love n care for her. E only thing is tat I’m poor n bad family background. There is lot of gals out there waiting for mi seriously.

My friends say I am stupid. I can simply choose any gals tat love me more. My ans: I dun love them I dun wan to hurts them I dun believe love can develop

If I truly love her n I wan to make her happy for e rest of her life wat should I do??



You have unresolved issues with her and because you also have weak emotional control, by exposing yourself to temptation, in which you ALREADY knew you will succumb, you are being lead on by circumstances freely. If you know that you will fall in love with her again... YOU WOULD…when the right condition surface. Your mind and heart have zero resistance against her and this scenario is a reiterated cycle you have gone through four years ago.

If that cannot make you learn, karmic cycle will return and attempt to haunt you again.

There are two sides to this story: the first being the part of her using you as a substitute for her boyfriend, which you probably knew it, but decide to play that role because she has effectively exploited that vulnerable in you to provide her the company she needs and you servilely obey what she wants of you.

The second side of this tale is that she could be dropping hints for you... to 'rescue' her from her plight... to be her knight in shining armour. She may need you to 'do' something before she could leap ships (Relationship).

Regardless of either side, you have failed in your previous lesson and will serve to face the reiterated consequences. You are likely to be assaulted with guilt, uncertainty, doubts and confusion than happiness from this crisis.

[quote]I very feel bad to her bf. He sure hurts deeply if he found out n oso I dun wish tat mi gf does tat to mi in e further. [/quote]

If you can’t play such games, don’t even think about it.

Cheers

It happened on New Year Day

I don't believe it.

Couldn't get anything for the next festive season: CNY.

Wanted this Bape shoe and bo size. Sian half.



Saw this Neighbourhood LS Big Block at Surrender. But somehow, thinking that it would cost me 350... I thought I needed new shoes more than tops. (Gawd, gimme me a good shoe and stop throwing me with the etc!!!)



End up burning some cash at Sushi Teh. LOL!!!

Cheers

Aunt Agony 020106

Originally posted by junich:
It goes like this. This girl i'm dating now was my ex. We dated way back in 2002 but at that point in time it was just like wrong place wrong time thus we broke off. We both moved on and dated other people and only recently, we got together again.

this time thou we are better prepared to handle relationships, we are still facing problems. When we got back together, we learnt tat in 07 both of us are going overseas to study. she takes it as tat we are gonna breake up then cause she thinks that its not possible to maintain a long distance relationship. i've told her tat we should not think so far as we still have more than a year and god knows what will happen in future.

also, her mum is giving her alot of pressure too. her mum feels tat her ex bf is e perfect guy for her and often nags at her for breaking up. thus she is dragging along alot of baggage from her past. i want to share e burden with her but she says its not fair to me. aint couples supposed to share their problems? there isnt anything such as fair or not fair..

we both love each other alot but every now and then she gets this panic attacks tat her "logical" side tells her that its better to break up now. she runs away from her problems and tries to hide. how can i tell her tat i'm with her no matter what. and a couple should face problems together and not alone cause she aint alone.


It is not attack from her 'logical' side - it is her defensive mechanism being triggered.

She fear that if she invest too much into the relationship, knowing that a LDR hurdle is a huge challenge to surmount, she might be wounded emotionally, if she is unable to recover her 'loses'.

This is the reason why she wants to run away. The theory of 'Chang tong bu ru duan tong' comes in.

And of course, her mum is not being helpful at all.

It is not a relationship problem, more than it is a personal problem.

You got to talk to her, to ease her deep seated fear or you will never be able to achieve beyond a certain level in your love.

You cannot be emotionally intimate if you have fear inside of you.

Remove it through the power of communication.

Cheers