(Don't understand why the picture so small. LOL!)
Get it now!
Cheers
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Bape Catelog Spring/Summer 07
Bape catelog for 2007 Spring/Summer:
(Don't understand why the picture so small. LOL!)
Get it now!
Cheers
(Don't understand why the picture so small. LOL!)
Get it now!
Cheers
Aunt Agony II 301206
Originally posted by mir4cle:
im a girl and i got this good guy friend who is quite close to me. He was introduced by my boyfriend actually...all of us always hang out together with two other people..den one day, the guy friend actually told me that he liked me but he knew he couldn't cos he didn't want to be the third party. (i've got no interest in him anyway) but actually our friendship didn't just stop like this for i knew it was only infatuation. He's still my good friend. however, my boyfriend didn't like it...so everytime i talked to my good friend, i have to restrict myself.
i know how my boyfriend feels...cos got a period of time got this gal liked him too..he told me he only treated her as his meimei...but still, you know how girls would feel when their boyfriends get too close to a girl, whether it's meimei or wadever..(cos now this kinda meimei and korkor thing is not so simple le lor) the thing is, he's willing to give up the friendship between him and the girl for me...and he really did! i feel kinda bad...cos i know i cant give this friend up...nor do i want to lose my boyfriend..
or maybe, i dont have to do anything at all...?
although we know we won't leave each other, we jus feel a sense of insecurity in our hearts..=X why why why??
Suspicion drills into trust like how the mice would nibble at the rope to have it inflict enough damage for it to snap.
Your relationship has already programmed a model on how to 'handle' such crisis - which is namely to drop contacts and eliminate possible complication altogether. This model does not take into consideration that some friendships are not easily given up, despite having the same set of scenario. From here, it wouldn't be a surprise if your boyfriend feels threatened by your passive attitude in dealing with the situation as he had swiftly eased your insecurity with a quick decision, but somehow you hesitated when the same scenario applies to you.
Albeit your friendship with the guy might be 'pure', your lack of action suggested otherwise. In fact, it actually implied that you might have some unconscious liking for him, because of how this solution model was created in the first place and you didn't 'follow the standard procedure'.
You don't have to get him out of your life completely - just that you would do well to remove 'unnecessary contacts' with him? I reckon that since you guys are part of a bigger group, I don't think you could run away from seeing him altogether unless there is a spilt up somehow. Obviously, it would have an impact on your friendship with him, but from some angle, that would be the lesser evil?
Think about it.
Cheers
im a girl and i got this good guy friend who is quite close to me. He was introduced by my boyfriend actually...all of us always hang out together with two other people..den one day, the guy friend actually told me that he liked me but he knew he couldn't cos he didn't want to be the third party. (i've got no interest in him anyway) but actually our friendship didn't just stop like this for i knew it was only infatuation. He's still my good friend. however, my boyfriend didn't like it...so everytime i talked to my good friend, i have to restrict myself.
i know how my boyfriend feels...cos got a period of time got this gal liked him too..he told me he only treated her as his meimei...but still, you know how girls would feel when their boyfriends get too close to a girl, whether it's meimei or wadever..(cos now this kinda meimei and korkor thing is not so simple le lor) the thing is, he's willing to give up the friendship between him and the girl for me...and he really did! i feel kinda bad...cos i know i cant give this friend up...nor do i want to lose my boyfriend..
or maybe, i dont have to do anything at all...?
although we know we won't leave each other, we jus feel a sense of insecurity in our hearts..=X why why why??
Suspicion drills into trust like how the mice would nibble at the rope to have it inflict enough damage for it to snap.
Your relationship has already programmed a model on how to 'handle' such crisis - which is namely to drop contacts and eliminate possible complication altogether. This model does not take into consideration that some friendships are not easily given up, despite having the same set of scenario. From here, it wouldn't be a surprise if your boyfriend feels threatened by your passive attitude in dealing with the situation as he had swiftly eased your insecurity with a quick decision, but somehow you hesitated when the same scenario applies to you.
Albeit your friendship with the guy might be 'pure', your lack of action suggested otherwise. In fact, it actually implied that you might have some unconscious liking for him, because of how this solution model was created in the first place and you didn't 'follow the standard procedure'.
You don't have to get him out of your life completely - just that you would do well to remove 'unnecessary contacts' with him? I reckon that since you guys are part of a bigger group, I don't think you could run away from seeing him altogether unless there is a spilt up somehow. Obviously, it would have an impact on your friendship with him, but from some angle, that would be the lesser evil?
Think about it.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 301206
Originally posted by reve82guy:
hey everyone its me again. i have a rather basic question that some of you may be able to help me with. i've been thinking a lot more about my relationship with my good friend and i think this may the real problem i have.
this friend that i think i like, i enjoy spending time with her and talking to her one on one but i not sure if i really LIKE her. i think about her more these days and i want to spend more time with her. i've been friends with her for quite a while already, so i'm quite comfortable with her and enjoy her company everytime we go out. ok maybe i watch too many hollywood movies liao, but i feel like i'm not head over heels with her like i should be if i'm in love with her.
okay so this may sound really dumb :roll:, but how do i know if i really like her? hmm... clearly i'm not so experienced at this ttz why i need u guys help. any telltale signs that tell me i like her a lot and should go after her? or is it that i will fall ever more in love with her AFTER i get into the relationship? one of the reasons i'm hesitating is coz i not very sure i'm in love with her, so i dun want to jump in the relationship and then break up coz i wasn't sure to start with. like that not really fair to her.
ok i prob sound confused, slightly dumb, and some of you are prob confused about what i'm saying too... hope someone can give some advice tho :D
This is what happen that there is too much 'air activity mechanism' - there's too much thinking involved in the process of love. It's like you are trying to figure out some kind of mental visual in which you try to justify love as love and to work it out based on a set of thoughts before you execute something. (Usually worst if you are a Libra, Aquarius, Gemini or Virgo)
You cannot think that you like - you know that you like and you have to feel it inside. Because chances are, if that didn’t happen, it will return to haunt you in later stage... in whatever form it may appear to you mentally and emotionally.
Firstly, you got to understand how your current emotional state is like. Being lonely or certain craving for a girlfriend surely blur this 'liking' further.
From there, it's up to you to make a decision.
Nobody holds the final answer in love - our decision gives us an answer so that we can search for the next following question.
Cheers
hey everyone its me again. i have a rather basic question that some of you may be able to help me with. i've been thinking a lot more about my relationship with my good friend and i think this may the real problem i have.
this friend that i think i like, i enjoy spending time with her and talking to her one on one but i not sure if i really LIKE her. i think about her more these days and i want to spend more time with her. i've been friends with her for quite a while already, so i'm quite comfortable with her and enjoy her company everytime we go out. ok maybe i watch too many hollywood movies liao, but i feel like i'm not head over heels with her like i should be if i'm in love with her.
okay so this may sound really dumb :roll:
ok i prob sound confused, slightly dumb, and some of you are prob confused about what i'm saying too... hope someone can give some advice tho :D
This is what happen that there is too much 'air activity mechanism' - there's too much thinking involved in the process of love. It's like you are trying to figure out some kind of mental visual in which you try to justify love as love and to work it out based on a set of thoughts before you execute something. (Usually worst if you are a Libra, Aquarius, Gemini or Virgo)
You cannot think that you like - you know that you like and you have to feel it inside. Because chances are, if that didn’t happen, it will return to haunt you in later stage... in whatever form it may appear to you mentally and emotionally.
Firstly, you got to understand how your current emotional state is like. Being lonely or certain craving for a girlfriend surely blur this 'liking' further.
From there, it's up to you to make a decision.
Nobody holds the final answer in love - our decision gives us an answer so that we can search for the next following question.
Cheers
yunhaier x KIKS TYO x Aki Hoshino
Aki Hoshino
(This is the most decent picture I could find for Aki Hoshino. The others are of bad taste... at least to me. And somehow, this image reminded me of Kana... LOL!)
x
KIKS TYO (www.KIKSTYO.com)
=
KIKS TYO x Aki Hoshino
x
yunhaier
=
yunhaier x KIKS TYO x Aki Hoshino
Cheers
(This is the most decent picture I could find for Aki Hoshino. The others are of bad taste... at least to me. And somehow, this image reminded me of Kana... LOL!)
x
KIKS TYO (www.KIKSTYO.com)
=
KIKS TYO x Aki Hoshino
x
yunhaier
=
yunhaier x KIKS TYO x Aki Hoshino
Cheers
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Aunt Agony 231206
Originally posted by chaah:
Ok i admit i am confuse.
Let me elaborate n summaries my relationship :
BF : H
Fren : D
Actually my bf treat me well, bring me to nice dinning, pick me up as and when from office for dinner. Pay for my computer which i wanna change but no $$.
Only things is his hobbies (Photography) is taking up too much time, at times i felt neglected.
i have tried talking to him, but he just avoid the things and prevent quarrel. But things do not change at all. After my grumble he is back to square one. Actually i dnt mind, coz i am grumbling. And also he had mentioned before if he had fail to treat me well, remember to remind him. As gal i though that is nice of him.
But then came along my close fren D.
Who keep analaysing things between me and bf.
He told me my bf isn't committed to me, and by reminding him i am helping him when he slack. This way i will never leave him.
He taught me to secretly mark H, faults and slack in relationship. And to the point give up if the relationship go haywire. And do not tell my bf what's wrong but let him think hard. If he has heart for me, he would do so.
I am lost now.
Coz i don't know if i should heed D advise ?
Goodness! Your boyfriend is indulging in HEALTHY and DECENT hobby... I don't see why there is a cause for concern, unless it drains too much financial ability (which you would probably nag) or if he truly neglects you in that sense. Would you rather your boyfriend spend those precious dollars in nightclubs and fool around with slattern woman?
That isn't my greatest shock - your man actually mention that he willing to compromise if there is something he hasn't done well, namely the way he treats you. If there are dissatisfaction with regards to the quality of time spent, shouldn't you be talking to him and letting him know that sometimes, you just wanna spent your time together like movies and shopping? You could also arrange that if he wants to do his photography, he would indulge in alone/with friends and when he is done with it, he could meet you for a proper date? You know that sort of thingy?
I always fear advice dispensed from random people, especially when it is for with people I know, because some people don't understand what wtf they are talking about and the consequence of their words on these poor soul.
(I) Helping him when he is slack? In that way you would never leave him? In the first place, why is there a requirement to leave the relationship if your relationship is (1) what you want... (2) it doesn't turn into an obsession/bondage... (3) doesn't ruin the original model of love?
(II) To take down all his faults and when things go out of hand, leave him? When you have noted a certain flaw, shouldn't you be the first to let him know, in order to reduce certain intensity in the relationship? Then you two could work together to resolve issues and not dump him with all his blind spot as you condemn him?
You are LEADING a relationship; this is not a competition on who's personality is more perfect my dear.
(III) And worst of all crime; don't tell your boyfriend anything. Let him think.
OMFG!
Lemme translate that sh!t for you:
Eliminate communication and decentralization; allow circumstances to control market force.
Your relationship will probably die sooner if you eliminate communication and expect everything to be enlightened from nothing. If you wants him to reflect on certain issues, you got to FIRST speak to him before you could allow him some time to digest those mambo jambo.
WTF is if he got heart for him, he will know what to do?
I throw the question back at you: if you got heart for him, do you know what to do? And are you DOING it now? Doing it RIGHT?
P.S: Remember, you are in relationship that's truly yours. Should your relationship fail, it doesn't affect D in any ways. You better think twice about ruining something that could have much potential to soar… with his 'advice'.
Cheers
Ok i admit i am confuse.
Let me elaborate n summaries my relationship :
BF : H
Fren : D
Actually my bf treat me well, bring me to nice dinning, pick me up as and when from office for dinner. Pay for my computer which i wanna change but no $$.
Only things is his hobbies (Photography) is taking up too much time, at times i felt neglected.
i have tried talking to him, but he just avoid the things and prevent quarrel. But things do not change at all. After my grumble he is back to square one. Actually i dnt mind, coz i am grumbling. And also he had mentioned before if he had fail to treat me well, remember to remind him. As gal i though that is nice of him.
But then came along my close fren D.
Who keep analaysing things between me and bf.
He told me my bf isn't committed to me, and by reminding him i am helping him when he slack. This way i will never leave him.
He taught me to secretly mark H, faults and slack in relationship. And to the point give up if the relationship go haywire. And do not tell my bf what's wrong but let him think hard. If he has heart for me, he would do so.
I am lost now.
Coz i don't know if i should heed D advise ?
Goodness! Your boyfriend is indulging in HEALTHY and DECENT hobby... I don't see why there is a cause for concern, unless it drains too much financial ability (which you would probably nag) or if he truly neglects you in that sense. Would you rather your boyfriend spend those precious dollars in nightclubs and fool around with slattern woman?
That isn't my greatest shock - your man actually mention that he willing to compromise if there is something he hasn't done well, namely the way he treats you. If there are dissatisfaction with regards to the quality of time spent, shouldn't you be talking to him and letting him know that sometimes, you just wanna spent your time together like movies and shopping? You could also arrange that if he wants to do his photography, he would indulge in alone/with friends and when he is done with it, he could meet you for a proper date? You know that sort of thingy?
I always fear advice dispensed from random people, especially when it is for with people I know, because some people don't understand what wtf they are talking about and the consequence of their words on these poor soul.
(I) Helping him when he is slack? In that way you would never leave him? In the first place, why is there a requirement to leave the relationship if your relationship is (1) what you want... (2) it doesn't turn into an obsession/bondage... (3) doesn't ruin the original model of love?
(II) To take down all his faults and when things go out of hand, leave him? When you have noted a certain flaw, shouldn't you be the first to let him know, in order to reduce certain intensity in the relationship? Then you two could work together to resolve issues and not dump him with all his blind spot as you condemn him?
You are LEADING a relationship; this is not a competition on who's personality is more perfect my dear.
(III) And worst of all crime; don't tell your boyfriend anything. Let him think.
OMFG!
Lemme translate that sh!t for you:
Eliminate communication and decentralization; allow circumstances to control market force.
Your relationship will probably die sooner if you eliminate communication and expect everything to be enlightened from nothing. If you wants him to reflect on certain issues, you got to FIRST speak to him before you could allow him some time to digest those mambo jambo.
WTF is if he got heart for him, he will know what to do?
I throw the question back at you: if you got heart for him, do you know what to do? And are you DOING it now? Doing it RIGHT?
P.S: Remember, you are in relationship that's truly yours. Should your relationship fail, it doesn't affect D in any ways. You better think twice about ruining something that could have much potential to soar… with his 'advice'.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 231206
Originally posted by blue_crimson_89:
hi i'm really new to this place.. a friend kinda recommended me to this place.. hahas my story's reaaaaaaally long.. so bear with me alright? it may mean nothing to readers, but in my heart, it holds such importance and would affect me for life..
i'm really down recently.. i've been in love with this girl from my secondary 2 class since i first met her.. i found her delightful and perfect, what i find to be the perfect girl.. i've always admired her from afar being at that tender age of having first trod into puberty.. she was popular in school, many guys were smittened by that voice of an angel and that radiant smile compared only to the sun.. unlike the other guys, i was never able to talk to her.. the others were buzzing around her like bees only to receive huge amounts of her attention, whereas i, the coward who blends into the shadows like a chameleon..
however, a friend of mine who happens to like her as well aided me in the 1st contact.. i managed to speak to her, not verbally, but through the internet.. i was happy for it was the 1st time i actually spoke to her.. since then, i seized every opportunity possible to speak to her through the internet, and looked forward to it every single day.. i existed in school only to see her dearest face and existed at home only to await her arrival on the internet.. that was life for me.. a little romance for my little world which consists of her and i.. wasnt before long did she ask for my mobile number.. i was shocked but excited.. i was euphoric in ecstasy when she 1st msged me.. i replied immediately and joyfully.. life was a bliss - i had her attention, me and me only..
through a really amazing twist of fate (and a little help from the kind souls which are our friends), we actually got together as a little couple.. it was even her who initiated it.. i was really happy.. but little did i know this spelt trouble for my little world of romance.. it was really great at 1st, but soon, our weaknesses showed.. i lost my best friend because of our little happy news.. my best friend abhorred me for "stealing" his dream girl away.. he spent a load of time on the emphasis that he loved her and she only belonged to him.. but when i took her away, he got upset with me and never spoke to me again.. instead, he stepped up on his efforts to woo her, to prove that he was indeed the only man she deserved.. i became jealous when he walked her to school and even walked her home.. it was stronger when i realised i could never do the same as he.. even as a couple, i still had no courage to speak to her in school.. crossing paths only made me turn away to pretend that the average looking floor tile was intriguing to the extent i had to stare at it.. we quarrelled a lot due to such events, and eventually, she asked for time out and what trailed was horrible.. i walked away from this relationship not only with scars on my heart, but the terrible hatred of the men in my level, for having been the most popular girl's boyfriend, currently ex-boyfriend..
i lost my friends, my results plummeted, guys hate me, girls think i'm a jerk.. i lost faith in everything i did and cried my holidays away.. luckily, i had a friend from back in sec 1, who was always there for me.. a kind-hearted malay girl who stood by me even when she was in a distant land.. she told me to be brave and get back what i lost.. to fight back what belongs to me.. unfortunately, all was too late for me..
sec 3 - a year which i suffered most in.. singaporean students generally enjoy secondary three as it is a year of leadership in your own CCA, great flexibility in work and life, as well as the attainment of wearing long pants for the guys.. hilarious as it sounds now, we were pretty excited about the change in garments.. the bells of christmas and the sounds of new year have past, but my heart remains in the year my heart was scarred with her name etched across the middle.. i lived that year in much agony and angst as i watched her new relationship blossom into something sweet and tender.. the truly horrific truth was actually that the "he" was my best friend, the one i always trusted.. but no one dared tell me, no one did told me..
sec 4 - when hope rekindled for me and not too late as well! she was framed to have been a cheap girl who hugged another guy when she had a boyfriend.. "he" broke up with her for he claims the above.. i thought it was a chance for me, and yes it was, but it never revealed itself, for i was in love with someone else.. this someone else was of such purity and innocence that she resembled my 1st love.. i loved her a lot despite differences in views.. but i gave her up.. i lied to her and chose to stop loving her because i feel that i can love my 1st love again.. i believed i could.. i have no idea what harm i have done to my new love, for we both know that our feelings were mutual.. yes i did love her, but i loved my 1st love as well.. at this point i know i might be some sort of double crosser or any ugly term may be used on me, but i chose to love my 1st love.. i know that my feelings for her are real, and the new ones are just hallucinations.. i felt sorry, but i had to put my interests in front.. yet again, through yet another amazing twist of fate, we were together again.. this time, i had changed, i was no longer that spoilt little child i used to be.. i learnt to cook, clean the house, buy groceries and everything that i used to need a caretaker for.. i was more mature now for this relationship..
needless to say, it was a great relationship.. i loved her a lot and never did stop.. the love grew and grew.. it was amazing.. but then again, weaknesses revealed their hideous faces once more to spoil our relationship..
valentines' day - the day that lovers have their feelings grow way stronger and enjoy a happy evening in each other's company.. i felt that mine would've been no less, in fact, even more for i had done much preparations.. 76 red roses, representing 76 days of pure love and passion for my one and only, inconjunction with one outstanding white rose, representing the purity of the past 76 days that we have been together, as well as a perfect colour to describe the love that was in the air of our 77th day as a couple.. divine chocolates that outshine the word "cliche".. i had these prepared for our time together.. i was excited and knew it'll be an evening decribed only by the word "perfect".. however, she decided not to wait for me, and left for home.. without even looking at me.. i called her, but she hung up on me.. my heart was utterly broken as i threw the chocolates and roses into the smelly bin.. she apologised yes, but my heart could never be mended back..
the holidays soon arrived yet again.. a time to rejoice yes? but no, it wasnt.. gangsters from her college began stalking me and presented hostility.. reason was simple, one of them likes her and demand i leave her.. i was stalked.. i was even once followed to my apartment.. luckily, i stayed at a condo and managed to elude these ruffians.. i had a friend from the same college as her who helped me by calling the police.. i was safe from this situation, but not from their threats and challenges when he tried more and more to date her.. the biggest question was, why did she give her number away?
lessons during holidays were inevitable especially in our generation.. we had a date, which was i whip up something really great tasting for her to judge.. i waited for her for 2 long hours.. she promised to wait for me.. she said she'll be earlier.. she promised.. but yet, she was in the north with a guy who obviously has a crush on her.. she was watching him dye his hair.. i cried and cried.. i learnt that they exchanged messages frequently and even wrote testimonials that were mushy to each other.. she even revealed her password to him when it was supposed to be something that she and i shared.. she and i only.. he deleted much of the stuff that i wrote for her by hacking her account.. she said it was i who was hacked and refused to listen to me.. sigh.. i was really really hurt.. very badly..
bad things happened a lot between us over the year of 2006.. it's been more than a year since we've been together.. she's made my life really ardous and difficult.. she msgs other guys and denies to me and demands that i stop thinking badly of her.. she claims to have cut herself to rouse my attention but i've been in contact with her a lot and if she did cut herself to rouse my attention, there was no way i cant see any wounds.. indeed, it could be my inability to realise it, but i've always checked her hands for wounds, i never liked her hurt.. she says that i think of her as a cheap girl who only cares about being pretty and having the affections of guys.. she says that i think that the only reason she's with me is so that she could make use of my affections for her.. but she's stopped smiling at the things i give her.. i always buy her things that she wanted, no matter the cost.. at first, she was greatly delighted and so was i.. soon, that delight faded away into emptiness.. i miss her joy and laughter.. i miss her purity and love.. i love her a lot, more than anybody else.. that's for sure.. i know it, i just know it..
right now, she told me not to talk to her until the day i stop thinking of her as a cheap girl who just wants to look pretty and seek affection of guys and want to make use of me monetarily and emotionally.. she added that she'll continue loving me till the day i can change that mindset.. this is the 2nd time she's told me to change.. the 1st time we broke up, she said the same to me.. i gave in the first time, but i'm not sure if i should this time, cos i really dun think it's my fault this time.. please help me.. i love her a lot.. more than anything... i've thrown a lot away, even my future when i decided to stay in singapore for studies.. help me..
if you happen to know who i really am when you read this story or recognise my user id, please dun tell her.. please.. i'm really desperate that's why i'm turning to this..
When you have obediently placed your love on a meticulously crafted, jeweled pedestal and worshipped her like some forgotten goddess - it's no wonder why you have to keep up/increase the 'offering' or 'tributes' to placate her unpredictable tantrum in relationship, albeit her rewards for your effort may not necessarily means genuine love on her part.
In simple: you reminded me of an idol/fan relationship. You being the crazed fan, would even give her the moon if you could possibly get it, while she being the idol may appreciate the kind of special... personal attention you are showering her, but that doesn't mean that the idol sees the fan BEYOND that of a fan.
I hope you understand what this mean because if you have to keep catching up and running after with her, eventually, you will lose yourself to emotional fatigue. As long as your goddess is angered, your fear of losing her supersedes logics and other emotions. Your unhealthy devotion gave in to her every whim and this relationship becomes an obsession more than being love driven.
You may think that you love her very much, but looking from my angle, that's probably more narcissistic than you could possibly imagine. Like a crazed fan, you probably think that your affection worth the most cent and that the consideration of her love doesn't really matter as much as yours. CloUdiSm refers this as the Clytie complex.
You formed her safety net - she knows that she is free to do anything she desire, even if her loyalty becomes questionable because you are always 'beneath' her. You are NOT allowed to judge her because she is always angelic... even if the truth might suggest something else. Never have you walked beside her like a respectable boyfriend... always living as a lesser entity... alternating between a crazed fan and a zealous acolyte. This has taken place ever since she caught your eyes - it has begun from '...the coward who blends into the shadows like a chameleon...' as written in your earlier paragraph.
How long are you going to keep up with all these? You mentioned that your rebounded-relationship belongs to an unfortunate category of a love bred from hallucination and interestingly, what makes you think that the one you are so crazy over is indeed 'The One'? By claiming that you know... you know... doesn't make it a fact: Many came before you in this forum and make the same claim... ultimately, they shed the same tears.
With time, you will realise that you wouldn't be able catch up anymore and starting falling back... in which your relationship will degenerate further.
P.S: Given your age and mindset, I don't think you could understand much of this essence? I supposed you have wasted much of yourself (and money)... revolving your world around her presence, which ultimately gives you nothing but tormented pleasure? With the absence of wisdom, one can only hope to finish repaying their karmic debts before they find themselves moving on. Evil as I may sound, you probably need more cosmic lessons and suffering before you could 'grow'?
Cheers
hi i'm really new to this place.. a friend kinda recommended me to this place.. hahas my story's reaaaaaaally long.. so bear with me alright? it may mean nothing to readers, but in my heart, it holds such importance and would affect me for life..
i'm really down recently.. i've been in love with this girl from my secondary 2 class since i first met her.. i found her delightful and perfect, what i find to be the perfect girl.. i've always admired her from afar being at that tender age of having first trod into puberty.. she was popular in school, many guys were smittened by that voice of an angel and that radiant smile compared only to the sun.. unlike the other guys, i was never able to talk to her.. the others were buzzing around her like bees only to receive huge amounts of her attention, whereas i, the coward who blends into the shadows like a chameleon..
however, a friend of mine who happens to like her as well aided me in the 1st contact.. i managed to speak to her, not verbally, but through the internet.. i was happy for it was the 1st time i actually spoke to her.. since then, i seized every opportunity possible to speak to her through the internet, and looked forward to it every single day.. i existed in school only to see her dearest face and existed at home only to await her arrival on the internet.. that was life for me.. a little romance for my little world which consists of her and i.. wasnt before long did she ask for my mobile number.. i was shocked but excited.. i was euphoric in ecstasy when she 1st msged me.. i replied immediately and joyfully.. life was a bliss - i had her attention, me and me only..
through a really amazing twist of fate (and a little help from the kind souls which are our friends), we actually got together as a little couple.. it was even her who initiated it.. i was really happy.. but little did i know this spelt trouble for my little world of romance.. it was really great at 1st, but soon, our weaknesses showed.. i lost my best friend because of our little happy news.. my best friend abhorred me for "stealing" his dream girl away.. he spent a load of time on the emphasis that he loved her and she only belonged to him.. but when i took her away, he got upset with me and never spoke to me again.. instead, he stepped up on his efforts to woo her, to prove that he was indeed the only man she deserved.. i became jealous when he walked her to school and even walked her home.. it was stronger when i realised i could never do the same as he.. even as a couple, i still had no courage to speak to her in school.. crossing paths only made me turn away to pretend that the average looking floor tile was intriguing to the extent i had to stare at it.. we quarrelled a lot due to such events, and eventually, she asked for time out and what trailed was horrible.. i walked away from this relationship not only with scars on my heart, but the terrible hatred of the men in my level, for having been the most popular girl's boyfriend, currently ex-boyfriend..
i lost my friends, my results plummeted, guys hate me, girls think i'm a jerk.. i lost faith in everything i did and cried my holidays away.. luckily, i had a friend from back in sec 1, who was always there for me.. a kind-hearted malay girl who stood by me even when she was in a distant land.. she told me to be brave and get back what i lost.. to fight back what belongs to me.. unfortunately, all was too late for me..
sec 3 - a year which i suffered most in.. singaporean students generally enjoy secondary three as it is a year of leadership in your own CCA, great flexibility in work and life, as well as the attainment of wearing long pants for the guys.. hilarious as it sounds now, we were pretty excited about the change in garments.. the bells of christmas and the sounds of new year have past, but my heart remains in the year my heart was scarred with her name etched across the middle.. i lived that year in much agony and angst as i watched her new relationship blossom into something sweet and tender.. the truly horrific truth was actually that the "he" was my best friend, the one i always trusted.. but no one dared tell me, no one did told me..
sec 4 - when hope rekindled for me and not too late as well! she was framed to have been a cheap girl who hugged another guy when she had a boyfriend.. "he" broke up with her for he claims the above.. i thought it was a chance for me, and yes it was, but it never revealed itself, for i was in love with someone else.. this someone else was of such purity and innocence that she resembled my 1st love.. i loved her a lot despite differences in views.. but i gave her up.. i lied to her and chose to stop loving her because i feel that i can love my 1st love again.. i believed i could.. i have no idea what harm i have done to my new love, for we both know that our feelings were mutual.. yes i did love her, but i loved my 1st love as well.. at this point i know i might be some sort of double crosser or any ugly term may be used on me, but i chose to love my 1st love.. i know that my feelings for her are real, and the new ones are just hallucinations.. i felt sorry, but i had to put my interests in front.. yet again, through yet another amazing twist of fate, we were together again.. this time, i had changed, i was no longer that spoilt little child i used to be.. i learnt to cook, clean the house, buy groceries and everything that i used to need a caretaker for.. i was more mature now for this relationship..
needless to say, it was a great relationship.. i loved her a lot and never did stop.. the love grew and grew.. it was amazing.. but then again, weaknesses revealed their hideous faces once more to spoil our relationship..
valentines' day - the day that lovers have their feelings grow way stronger and enjoy a happy evening in each other's company.. i felt that mine would've been no less, in fact, even more for i had done much preparations.. 76 red roses, representing 76 days of pure love and passion for my one and only, inconjunction with one outstanding white rose, representing the purity of the past 76 days that we have been together, as well as a perfect colour to describe the love that was in the air of our 77th day as a couple.. divine chocolates that outshine the word "cliche".. i had these prepared for our time together.. i was excited and knew it'll be an evening decribed only by the word "perfect".. however, she decided not to wait for me, and left for home.. without even looking at me.. i called her, but she hung up on me.. my heart was utterly broken as i threw the chocolates and roses into the smelly bin.. she apologised yes, but my heart could never be mended back..
the holidays soon arrived yet again.. a time to rejoice yes? but no, it wasnt.. gangsters from her college began stalking me and presented hostility.. reason was simple, one of them likes her and demand i leave her.. i was stalked.. i was even once followed to my apartment.. luckily, i stayed at a condo and managed to elude these ruffians.. i had a friend from the same college as her who helped me by calling the police.. i was safe from this situation, but not from their threats and challenges when he tried more and more to date her.. the biggest question was, why did she give her number away?
lessons during holidays were inevitable especially in our generation.. we had a date, which was i whip up something really great tasting for her to judge.. i waited for her for 2 long hours.. she promised to wait for me.. she said she'll be earlier.. she promised.. but yet, she was in the north with a guy who obviously has a crush on her.. she was watching him dye his hair.. i cried and cried.. i learnt that they exchanged messages frequently and even wrote testimonials that were mushy to each other.. she even revealed her password to him when it was supposed to be something that she and i shared.. she and i only.. he deleted much of the stuff that i wrote for her by hacking her account.. she said it was i who was hacked and refused to listen to me.. sigh.. i was really really hurt.. very badly..
bad things happened a lot between us over the year of 2006.. it's been more than a year since we've been together.. she's made my life really ardous and difficult.. she msgs other guys and denies to me and demands that i stop thinking badly of her.. she claims to have cut herself to rouse my attention but i've been in contact with her a lot and if she did cut herself to rouse my attention, there was no way i cant see any wounds.. indeed, it could be my inability to realise it, but i've always checked her hands for wounds, i never liked her hurt.. she says that i think of her as a cheap girl who only cares about being pretty and having the affections of guys.. she says that i think that the only reason she's with me is so that she could make use of my affections for her.. but she's stopped smiling at the things i give her.. i always buy her things that she wanted, no matter the cost.. at first, she was greatly delighted and so was i.. soon, that delight faded away into emptiness.. i miss her joy and laughter.. i miss her purity and love.. i love her a lot, more than anybody else.. that's for sure.. i know it, i just know it..
right now, she told me not to talk to her until the day i stop thinking of her as a cheap girl who just wants to look pretty and seek affection of guys and want to make use of me monetarily and emotionally.. she added that she'll continue loving me till the day i can change that mindset.. this is the 2nd time she's told me to change.. the 1st time we broke up, she said the same to me.. i gave in the first time, but i'm not sure if i should this time, cos i really dun think it's my fault this time.. please help me.. i love her a lot.. more than anything... i've thrown a lot away, even my future when i decided to stay in singapore for studies.. help me..
if you happen to know who i really am when you read this story or recognise my user id, please dun tell her.. please.. i'm really desperate that's why i'm turning to this..
When you have obediently placed your love on a meticulously crafted, jeweled pedestal and worshipped her like some forgotten goddess - it's no wonder why you have to keep up/increase the 'offering' or 'tributes' to placate her unpredictable tantrum in relationship, albeit her rewards for your effort may not necessarily means genuine love on her part.
In simple: you reminded me of an idol/fan relationship. You being the crazed fan, would even give her the moon if you could possibly get it, while she being the idol may appreciate the kind of special... personal attention you are showering her, but that doesn't mean that the idol sees the fan BEYOND that of a fan.
I hope you understand what this mean because if you have to keep catching up and running after with her, eventually, you will lose yourself to emotional fatigue. As long as your goddess is angered, your fear of losing her supersedes logics and other emotions. Your unhealthy devotion gave in to her every whim and this relationship becomes an obsession more than being love driven.
You may think that you love her very much, but looking from my angle, that's probably more narcissistic than you could possibly imagine. Like a crazed fan, you probably think that your affection worth the most cent and that the consideration of her love doesn't really matter as much as yours. CloUdiSm refers this as the Clytie complex.
You formed her safety net - she knows that she is free to do anything she desire, even if her loyalty becomes questionable because you are always 'beneath' her. You are NOT allowed to judge her because she is always angelic... even if the truth might suggest something else. Never have you walked beside her like a respectable boyfriend... always living as a lesser entity... alternating between a crazed fan and a zealous acolyte. This has taken place ever since she caught your eyes - it has begun from '...the coward who blends into the shadows like a chameleon...' as written in your earlier paragraph.
How long are you going to keep up with all these? You mentioned that your rebounded-relationship belongs to an unfortunate category of a love bred from hallucination and interestingly, what makes you think that the one you are so crazy over is indeed 'The One'? By claiming that you know... you know... doesn't make it a fact: Many came before you in this forum and make the same claim... ultimately, they shed the same tears.
With time, you will realise that you wouldn't be able catch up anymore and starting falling back... in which your relationship will degenerate further.
P.S: Given your age and mindset, I don't think you could understand much of this essence? I supposed you have wasted much of yourself (and money)... revolving your world around her presence, which ultimately gives you nothing but tormented pleasure? With the absence of wisdom, one can only hope to finish repaying their karmic debts before they find themselves moving on. Evil as I may sound, you probably need more cosmic lessons and suffering before you could 'grow'?
Cheers
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Aunt Agony 171206
Originally posted by imouto222:
Hi ppl,
My friend has a 27 yrs old girlfriend who has curfew. She needs to reach home by 11pm daily else the parent will flare up. Applies to weekends, public holidays like Xmas, New Yr etc. Is there anyway we can do to convince the parents of this girl that their daughter is already VERY GROWN UP and can go out after midnight. We are trying to organise a Xmas party but this girl cant go ... what should we do?? Anyone has suggestion?
Behind this simple curfew lies a greater malice: this is deep parental complex since young; nothing much you can guys could do unless she is willing to fight for her own freedom?
Her parents is not going to 'wake up' one day and say 'hey, our daughter has grown up... so she could fare better with some freedom in her life', especially since they haven't thought that issue even when she is 27?
Some parents never realise this - the longer you shelter your child with all these 'rules', the later they learn to survive in society and the more vulnerable they are to setbacks and failures. This is especially true in love and relationship. She may learn to cope with her career gradually, but when it comes to love - she just become another perfect victim for the universe to unleash nasty cosmic lesson.
Parental complex is one classic reason why people become what they are... leading their sort of relationship. There is this massive conflict that engaged itself on our unconscious level, whenever our individual nature tries to hatch and liberate ourselves from parental bondage. Some people have easy transition, but to those who have difficulty in this metamorphosis, they usually suppress this divine self right, in order to compromise with external parental pressure - still seeking for their approval, acknowledgment and love.
Her parents wrote script based on their own perspective/thoughts and demanding their daughter to learn their script.
There is this spiritual tension - on one side, she tries to evolve into a true individual grasping her own life and on the other hand, she too tried to accept her parents' pre-prepared script of what they reckon is positive for her life. And if she accepts the former ideology, the parents would give her the coveted message that her choice is something punishable by abandonment. It gives rise to message like disloyalty and cultivates seeds of guilt into her soul.
In other words, her parents instil the message of 'you will hurt me if you don't listen to me...' or 'being myself is wrong', which will inevitably make her feel that she is responsible for everybody's happiness.
The struggle to manifest her authentic self or to gain approval from her parents continues and this affects relationship from all dimension (In astrology, this is where Moon/Saturn or 4th/10th house [or ruler of those house] is heavily dignified, probably with bad placing and hard aspects, which causes much of these tension).
I don't know how you want to help her. This is more like a personal struggle in which she would have to surmount. All her life, she probably suppress herself not to look into that direction I have pointed - a bona fide route to emotional self-actualization by forging a separate identity... an identity where it's truly hers.
You may want her to read what I have written? And maybe it's time to preview her own life to see what she wants to see in her own future.
Cheers
Hi ppl,
My friend has a 27 yrs old girlfriend who has curfew. She needs to reach home by 11pm daily else the parent will flare up. Applies to weekends, public holidays like Xmas, New Yr etc. Is there anyway we can do to convince the parents of this girl that their daughter is already VERY GROWN UP and can go out after midnight. We are trying to organise a Xmas party but this girl cant go ... what should we do?? Anyone has suggestion?
Behind this simple curfew lies a greater malice: this is deep parental complex since young; nothing much you can guys could do unless she is willing to fight for her own freedom?
Her parents is not going to 'wake up' one day and say 'hey, our daughter has grown up... so she could fare better with some freedom in her life', especially since they haven't thought that issue even when she is 27?
Some parents never realise this - the longer you shelter your child with all these 'rules', the later they learn to survive in society and the more vulnerable they are to setbacks and failures. This is especially true in love and relationship. She may learn to cope with her career gradually, but when it comes to love - she just become another perfect victim for the universe to unleash nasty cosmic lesson.
Parental complex is one classic reason why people become what they are... leading their sort of relationship. There is this massive conflict that engaged itself on our unconscious level, whenever our individual nature tries to hatch and liberate ourselves from parental bondage. Some people have easy transition, but to those who have difficulty in this metamorphosis, they usually suppress this divine self right, in order to compromise with external parental pressure - still seeking for their approval, acknowledgment and love.
Her parents wrote script based on their own perspective/thoughts and demanding their daughter to learn their script.
There is this spiritual tension - on one side, she tries to evolve into a true individual grasping her own life and on the other hand, she too tried to accept her parents' pre-prepared script of what they reckon is positive for her life. And if she accepts the former ideology, the parents would give her the coveted message that her choice is something punishable by abandonment. It gives rise to message like disloyalty and cultivates seeds of guilt into her soul.
In other words, her parents instil the message of 'you will hurt me if you don't listen to me...' or 'being myself is wrong', which will inevitably make her feel that she is responsible for everybody's happiness.
The struggle to manifest her authentic self or to gain approval from her parents continues and this affects relationship from all dimension (In astrology, this is where Moon/Saturn or 4th/10th house [or ruler of those house] is heavily dignified, probably with bad placing and hard aspects, which causes much of these tension).
I don't know how you want to help her. This is more like a personal struggle in which she would have to surmount. All her life, she probably suppress herself not to look into that direction I have pointed - a bona fide route to emotional self-actualization by forging a separate identity... an identity where it's truly hers.
You may want her to read what I have written? And maybe it's time to preview her own life to see what she wants to see in her own future.
Cheers
Saturday, December 16, 2006
N. Weaver
So long never play dota... Weaver power!
And I actually got beyond Godlike - before I tried esacaping with 30-40 life and died as a result of a final shot from a range creep.
Zzz!
And I actually got beyond Godlike - before I tried esacaping with 30-40 life and died as a result of a final shot from a range creep.
Zzz!
The real 'Curse' of the Golden Flower
I laughed when I see this.
Watch closely. Do you sense that something is not quite right?
I will be fuming mad if I was the marketing head.
Wah rao... huge mistake RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE.
Sheesh!
Watch closely. Do you sense that something is not quite right?
I will be fuming mad if I was the marketing head.
Wah rao... huge mistake RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE.
Sheesh!
Memories of Dance Arts (Specialist's Centre)
Time to say goodbye to DA... and ultimately Specialist's Centre. They are abolishing the entire building to make way for some 'hype' mall.
That was my last lesson in the old studio.
Specialist Centre is indeed an old haunt... since Primary six during my D&D addiction (Shadow over Mysteria) and of course, DA (which started since 2002?).
All good things must come to an end (Tmd... I thought I said this phrase in previous entry? LOL!)
And one last shot before we left the building.
Much memories of the old studio albeit I know the new one would be better.
I just realised I didn't upload recital photos. Well, I will take this opportunity to do so... since it was much effort put in to give a good show.
That ballet girl just had to come into the picture. !#$%!#$
The last time... training at Dance Arts in Specialist's Centre for recital 2006.
*Poof*
That was my last lesson in the old studio.
Specialist Centre is indeed an old haunt... since Primary six during my D&D addiction (Shadow over Mysteria) and of course, DA (which started since 2002?).
All good things must come to an end (Tmd... I thought I said this phrase in previous entry? LOL!)
And one last shot before we left the building.
Much memories of the old studio albeit I know the new one would be better.
I just realised I didn't upload recital photos. Well, I will take this opportunity to do so... since it was much effort put in to give a good show.
That ballet girl just had to come into the picture. !#$%!#$
The last time... training at Dance Arts in Specialist's Centre for recital 2006.
*Poof*
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Media Club Camp
All good things must come to an end; Media Club Camp 2006 has finally been concluded.
Much hardwork has been put in by the team to make it a success. Although there are some glitches like the sound systems, my stolen 'GOLD' star thingy, last minute TOA for MOS - despite that, I thought that it was a wonderful experience to be involved in this interestingly fun project.
It was one of the better things that happened so far working in Editorial Projects. I trust that those memories goes a long way down my life.
The Bryan and Justin were the two interesting fellow from HIHS. And I laughed my balls out when I saw their entry for one of the assignment they were tasked to do.
A closer look:
And so were the Cat high dudes.
It was so wow when I can have the opportunity to meet Marilyn Lee in person (of course I had to... I have to bring an entire group of students in... haha).
She is gorgeous - just like I had seen her in other media platform. Very warm and friendly in person... and yes! The fatal smile as well. (Adrian would probably drool over her? After all, he's the only chap I know that devote himself to 91.3 fm?)
We had a student press conference with two celebrities - MTV VJ, Denise Keller and Colby. What's so amazing is that both of them are natural and easy going. I think that's what I like about host/DJ/VJ... because they are able to be in the crowd, be like the crowd and become part of the crowd. (Denise was wearing a Ed Hardy Top... woohoo)
This two pictures below made everyone laughed when shown one after another in the power point slides. Picture taken almost five seconds between each other? Excellent shot by Andrea.
And finally, they kinda obliged to a close up shot. Denise is very photogenic - she looks good from any angle.
ACS Barker only got managed to secure a merit for the National Newspaper Competition - slipped many ranks from Gold award. Freaking slack already!!! Hahaha...
I had to take one photos with my juniors - Merv and the rest of the ACS Barker team!
On a pleasant note, one school (girl school) left us chocolate. So sweet of them. I think it's St Nic if I didn't recall wrongly.
Sigh.
Next year I am going to miss all the action le.
Great fun.
Much hardwork has been put in by the team to make it a success. Although there are some glitches like the sound systems, my stolen 'GOLD' star thingy, last minute TOA for MOS - despite that, I thought that it was a wonderful experience to be involved in this interestingly fun project.
It was one of the better things that happened so far working in Editorial Projects. I trust that those memories goes a long way down my life.
The Bryan and Justin were the two interesting fellow from HIHS. And I laughed my balls out when I saw their entry for one of the assignment they were tasked to do.
A closer look:
And so were the Cat high dudes.
It was so wow when I can have the opportunity to meet Marilyn Lee in person (of course I had to... I have to bring an entire group of students in... haha).
She is gorgeous - just like I had seen her in other media platform. Very warm and friendly in person... and yes! The fatal smile as well. (Adrian would probably drool over her? After all, he's the only chap I know that devote himself to 91.3 fm?)
We had a student press conference with two celebrities - MTV VJ, Denise Keller and Colby. What's so amazing is that both of them are natural and easy going. I think that's what I like about host/DJ/VJ... because they are able to be in the crowd, be like the crowd and become part of the crowd. (Denise was wearing a Ed Hardy Top... woohoo)
This two pictures below made everyone laughed when shown one after another in the power point slides. Picture taken almost five seconds between each other? Excellent shot by Andrea.
And finally, they kinda obliged to a close up shot. Denise is very photogenic - she looks good from any angle.
ACS Barker only got managed to secure a merit for the National Newspaper Competition - slipped many ranks from Gold award. Freaking slack already!!! Hahaha...
I had to take one photos with my juniors - Merv and the rest of the ACS Barker team!
On a pleasant note, one school (girl school) left us chocolate. So sweet of them. I think it's St Nic if I didn't recall wrongly.
Sigh.
Next year I am going to miss all the action le.
Great fun.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Absent Minded
I think I am fucking stupid.
I had forgotten to switch from beach mode to auto mode.
And all my photos got screwed!
-_-
I had to vent my frustration ... from one wasted day of photo-taking.
Please tell me which to stab in the above picture.
/me sharpen dagger
I had forgotten to switch from beach mode to auto mode.
And all my photos got screwed!
-_-
I had to vent my frustration ... from one wasted day of photo-taking.
Please tell me which to stab in the above picture.
/me sharpen dagger
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