Originally posted by Starfish07:
Recently I just broken up with my bf whom I been together for 3 months. The reason we broke up is he is not the guy tat I really wan to spend life with & I dun feel happy when I am together with him.
For my past 4 r/s, I think this is the worst relationship tat I ever had. His friends are more important than me & he is not the one there for me to share my happiness & sadness & he hated to call me & reporting to me everything.
I am a very simple person. I just want my partner to be home safe, care to share his everything with me & if he is busy I am fine with it. But he think I am controlling him too much which he had his own time to do his things rather than accompany me.
Why I am deserved to be treated like this?Why I cant meet a good guy & fall in love & get married?I am just wondering is there any good guys out there who really wan to get into serious relationship?
I had a good job, an own part time business to handle, a good family, a group of friends but my relationship really sucks.Friends often ask me how is my relationship but i always tell them dun ask there is nothing to tell. I dun smoke, I seldom club & I dun drink but why cant I meet a guy who can really treated me well?
Even though I am very understanding & concerned about my partner but they often take me for granted.
I dare not to fall in love anymore as I scared of being hurted again & again & my heart might not able to take the pain.
You hold firmly onto your own definition of what love and relationship means to you; it seemed to have rooted into your personal core value.
Every relationship is as serious as how you want to look upon it as. You broke up with your guy, citing serious incompatibility, but I believe it's more likely that he is just unyielding towards your decree of how you perceive and desire the structure of your relationship to be like and that emphasis itself may not lie with incompatibility as a whole.
You seemed immalleable towards your attitude towards love, secretly hoping for a product which fits perfectly into how you want your relationship to shape into. Surely, that might happen to some, (especially people who managed to build excellent benefic relationship accrued from previous existence/s or having evolved personality from present life) but more often than not, if your cosmic lessons in life lies largely with your relationship, your growth will automatically spring forth from your challenges within and that you have to learn it with humility.
Your demand out of love will not materialise at face-value; in fact, it often develops an inverse relationship with your thoughts. What will only happen is that you will meet people that will allow you the potential to grow that personality and wisdom to eventually fulfill this demand or understand why you should drop such thoughts.
Ironically, the people who always claim they don't want to fall in love because of the pain, are precisely the very people who always fall in love and always come out battered.
The rationale is very simple; if you allow fear to govern your attitude towards love, then fear will manifest into reality for you. The quantum of fear you have in love is closely linked to one's inability to accept reality and growth in relationship. If you reject growth due to fear, then fear will circumvent you like a pall of miasmatic cloud.
A simple relationship per se is never simple - in fact, what simple to you could be a 180 degree change in behavioural pattern for another.
A perfect relationship is never by birthright; it always forged through understanding, compromising and maturity by imperfect partners ourselves. Only by breaking down the emotional barriers we have put in place for love and love with wisdom, would our higher consciousness attract the best possible mate in the same wavelength and make that into reality for us.
P.S: We learn to walk so as to prevent falling - we don't learn to avoid walking just because we don't want to fall.
Cheers
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