Originally posted by Caligynephobia:
I'm typing this post with a heavy heart.
So i have this friend, we're very close, we talk about everything and we were always
there for each others during "times of turbulent weather".
At first i guess i kinda had a crush for her, like initially when i wasn't that close to her, but i guess after we became really close friends i started to really like her. i haven't told her anything about it, cos i'm really happy with what we are. and i claim that i "don't really expect anything back" but i think subconsciously i have the desire to have and to possess. such is humanly love no? but up till today i have kept mum about it.
but i also have this other close guy friend and he has liked her since quite a while ago . and recently he told me that he really can't keep it in anymore, he just wanted to tell her and get this burden off his chest. So, me being me, i encouraged him to do it and i even help to set him up with her. i brought him to her house and asked her to come meet us outside so he could tell her everything. so he did. and turns out she told him that "the feelings are mutual" and after he told me that, i was crushed. but i have to act all happy for the both of them since u know they're both my close friends and stuff.
So i really don't know what to do now.. i feel so helpless.. so stupid.. so dumb.. what do i do next? forever keep my silence? i mean i can't just tell her now that i know she has feelings for my other guy friend? sigh.
Love doesn't go to the one that felt the affection first - it goes to the first person who initiates and makes it happen.
Nobody says you need to be hasty, but if you are apathetic towards the true emotions that are growing inside of you, you will come to regret in the future, should your cosmic lesson revolved around the notion of passiveness.
Don't you think it's really silly?
You had to keep mum for gawd knows reason and allow yourself to be stuck in this quagmire. Now even if you have decided to do something about it, you will probably appear like an arse trying to filch on your good friend's love because apparently, you are the one that 'brought them together', isn't it?
People hold their tongue and hesitated in the expression of love for numerous of reason; but regardless of rationale, the root of it all is fear.
Which is more painful? Fear or regret?
The answer is probably haunting you right now.
Someone told me this from her own experience:
'If you want your boy to act, introduce a competitor. That's where he will become a man.'
Losing someone is no big deal - but losing someone whom previously you might have a chance with probably inflicts a blow ten times. It seemed that you don't really have much alternative right now; either you live in quiet misery or you risk ruining one good friendship.
Both choices are as miserable as it can get – a choice between expired can food and soured milk.
Cheers
0 comments:
Post a Comment