Originally posted by W8
Im currently with this "boyfriend" who im madly in love with....ill jus name him "W" 20M this yr..
He is trying to decide which gf to choose...between me...19f...and another girl....15f...
The other girl name is clara...they know each other last yr October..in game...
That game i intro W to play...he met her inside....
as time pass by...they train together...
i gt suspicious and i ask the girl if she likes W....
she say im accusing her of being the third party....
and told W about it...
W wants to break up with me in game..(stupid right?hai...)
reason...he is in stress...of family...studies...
clara's character was there...nick(swtraphsody) when he ask for break up...
she was interrupting when we were chatting...
i ask her not to bother us...she replied...
"its a free world...i say wat i like..."
and W kept on tell me that our break up doesnt involve her...
So we break up...after a few days...he said he miss me....i miss him too...i cant let go...(i know..im stupid..)
so we meet up again...and so call gt together..
but i told some of my friends tat i broke up with him...
but when ever i ask him...if we still together...he wont reply...
he ask me to wait for him to decide....so i waited....
we hug...we kiss...even after the break up...
then after a few months...until last few weeks....
i realise he is msg clara....i know they gt msg each other....
but i jus didnt let W know...coz i wan to trust him....
but now...i know he is going out with clara...
but i dunno if they gt meet up...coz im mostly around W..
(same sch...tats y..)
Now...i even did something stupid as sms the girl...
pretend as a guy....(i think im crazy...)
clara did replied me for a few times...but after tat..she stop...
even if i called her...she answer and said wrong no...
(i cant believe myself im doing all this....)
but i jus cant help it...tat i love him so much tat i dun wan to let go...
Now...i can confirm they are together...coz clara replied W that she is his girl....
and W trying very hard to keep it from me...msg and calls to clara...
im trying my best not to ask him...not to remind him...coz i know..if i stress him...everything will be over soon...
he once told me...when i found out about him msg clara..calling her babe and all tat...
he told me he wanted me to wait..even if he have another gf...so tat he will cherish me more next time....
i wanted to wait...i really do....but it hurts...shld i let the girl noe also?
but wat if she wont let him go? wat if she says stuff like i shld let him go...
i think im going crazy even im writing this here....coz im really frustrated with clara...
pls let me know wat i shld do....i dun wan to let go...coz i know i love him..and he still love me...
if not...he wont still be nice and sweet to me...he used to ignore me even when we r together...
i know becoz he 2 timing now tats y he treat me better..but it also means i have a chance right??
Pls....someone tell me wat to do....
Im scare of lonely...I dun have much friends to talk about personal stuff...
Im not close to my family...have financial problems...my father is having an affair coz he wants a son...
my sisters are all working and independent...im not close to them too....
wat can i do to get through a broken heart?
all i know is do my own stuff...but tat didnt help at all....
I accidentally come across your topic in Chit Chat and I am concerned regarding your negative domestic environment and the weak bonds you have with people. You probably don`t realized it, but that actually contributed subconsciously to your misery in Love, based on this intense fear of loneliness.
Your fear of being alone is real - this account for your resignation for not confronting your man about the `truth`, because you rather based your emotions on delusional background, thinking that your man will eventually choose you OR thinking that your situation will be better if you don`t do anything that would `seemingly` aggravate the situation.
But I can tell you that your boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend, is merely capitalizing on your inability to face the harsh truth and gradually twirl you around that little finger of his as he continues to fuel your illusionary love. This jerk of yours requested you to wait for him to have his share of loving fun before `returning` back to you and if you are willing to abide by this ridiculous rule, I must say that you are merely living in the shadow of your fear and not in light of Love - that your Love is but a composition of fear masquerading as Love.
As long as your Self identity remains a question - your relationship with people will hardly improve, which inevitable implied that your fear of loneliness will escalate.
You must find a source to determine this Self component - and it doesn’t come from any individual alone. It often derives from causes you seek to fight for. If you seek Love (BGR), when this Self component is missing, I can almost guarantee you that a series of karmic relationships await at the end of the juncture maliciously.
One cannot extend Love outwardly if it doesn`t finds it within him or herself.
I seriously reckon that you might want to try some sort of religious group for some network of support and friendship. You must first save your sanity and then remove your negative fear with robust initiative to change your plight.
Things cannot change if the variables are the same. Although we can`t touch the constant, but we have the freewill to dabble with things we can control.
Cheers
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