Originally posted by lonely_boy_88
Well I guess this is the best place to tell my problem and hopefully you guys can give me some suggestions.
I am 20 this year already, since sec1 when im 13, I like this gal from the same cca as me, but different class, and she went to the same JC as me as well, though we took different sub combi and different cca, but all the way she has been the only girl i like.
but the problem is, it is not reciprocated, meaning tat she doesnt like me, she doesnt have any bf before also, I sort of confessed to her 2 times, once when we are in sec4, once when we are in JC2, but both times it was negative.
I know it is time to give up and move on, but I cant forget her. Its been like 6 years, I am still holding on to some hope I think. I tried moving on but I cant.
I have done things for her during this period too, I gave her presents, like during her birthday or occasions, I even made a MV for her, wrote a song for her too.
I know she doesnt like me, but I cant get her out of my mind.
Wat shld i do? =(
The reason for not moving on is simply because there isn't a reason substantial enough for you to drive forward.
No reason therefore no motivation.
You see, there isn't anyone (or anything) compelling enough for you to switch your affection. And because your history in love is pretty much a clean sheet, there is no way your heart can input a blank statement into something already blank. Honestly, your subconscious will tell itself '...since there isn't anyone else for me to redirect my affection and energy into, instead of leaving a void, by retaining my affection for her, at least my love life wouldn't feel that empty...'
I can tell you; it's a vicious cycle. When you narrow your vision, you will always walk straight, without having the ability to look beyond. Over a period of time, this anomalous way of life will become a habit and your rationale for behaving in that manner will be largely influence by implicit memory and habit; no longer churned from your original intention.
Many 'waiters' feed themselves with all sort of nonsensical reasons to remain, but the root of their senseless wait often reveals a very distinctive, self absorbed definition of love. Instead of evolving from their failure, they rather bathe themselves in various degree of delusion, thinking that their love is so overwhelming, that it kept them bounded, and they have must continue to wait in order to proof the validity of their Love.
I always laugh on this.
Because some people believed that this is a measure of Love and they reward themselves by waiting longer. Six years? Wah, he waited ten years - surely must have loved her alot. What you? Twelve years? Who is next?
I tell you, there is nothing but narcissism in that notion because this love is simply not reciprocated. Period. It's almost like you loving yourself, in a one player role playing game - being both the winner and loser. You conjured your own rule for the criteria for winning and losing, as you subconsciously decide that you win by waiting and lose by moving on.
You tied yourself up - learn to release your self captivity by understanding that Love cannot be forced upon another.
Cheers
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