Originally posted by justaname:
I know her for coming to 5 months and during this 5 months, as usual as most guys will do to a girl when he likes her. Communicating with her, attentive to her needs and so on...
Few months ago, I told her that I like her. No response so I wait and carry on dating her.
Few weeks ago, she told me she likes me too but she is not ready for a relationship. Fine. I will give her the time and also the time for both of us to trust and commit more. We are both working adult. Financially independent.
She is a girl who has plenty of suitors.
The funny thing is, I will really like to hear from the ladies that when you like a guy, will you meet him even though you are busy or with your group of girl-friends or after your activity be it work, friends or family.
Ladies, another question is, when you know that there are other suitors after you, and when another guy ask you out for movie, will you go? As for my case, she went ahead and for everyone info, I only went for movie with her once and it was in a case where she was not willing to go.
My inner voice is telling me that it is not because she doesn't want to go into a relationship. She likes the courtship from man. It is consider very sweet and is even better than in relationship.
For the man,
Am I sensitive to the extend that allowing her to go out with other suitors even she told me that she is going for a movie date with this guy cause she promise to go?
For the past few months, I'm so tired going after her. I have gave her all my love but she isn't. Sometimes I feel that she is testing my endurance limit and try to push me to the limit. I am sensitive to her needs and being very understanding at all times. I don't mind BUT if she doesn't love you, it hurts so badly.
Lastly, do you all think that when you are after a girl or a guy, one should remain consistent in his/her target and not be distracted by other choices?
When I'm dating a girl, I will choose to think in a way that I will not go out with other girls except her and if it work out. I doubt anyone will like the feeling of seeing the person you like to go out with another suitor.
I really try my best for this relationship.
She has her prerogative to date other man. Why not? She is not attached.
With this scenario, I must reinforce the importance of differentiated branding.
A woman with many suitors is akin to a product with many brands. If all the brands are similar, why should a buyer purchase your product? In linear thoughts, the woman would go for the man with the most cash, like your decision to buy product would go to the brand with the cheapest price - if there are absolutely no USP to shout.
I think there is this grossly misconception about dating - you guys overly emphasize on your selling, than to understand the buyer's mindset and to tweak your selling based on needs and simultaneously & constantly differentiate your brand.
I think the problem lies in your behaviour towards this chase; you felt, thought and behaved as if you are already in a relationship with her - when obviously you are not. It's no wonder why you would feel so drained out - wrong approach to a non-existing position in love.
She is only but a mere friend.
Cheers
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