Aunt Agony II 260807 (Continued from Aunt Agony 110207)

Originally posted by sggirl07:
My bf and i have broke up for half a year. This was my story (Refer to AA 110207)

For those who are lazy to read, to summarise, he was married and seperated, and asked me to wait for him for completion of his separation, which would be due by end march.

During this period of time, we barely met. manytimes, he agreed to meet, but last min had to cancel. and manytimes i asked to meet, he turned down saying he was busy

i waited for him, but when the deadline was approaching, he continued to be evasive. still so reluctant to answer my qns on things, and when i asked when can we meet, he said maybe april. i was so mad and i felt that he was stringing me along. Confronted him , but he was still evasive.

so we broke up in end march.

Recently he called me, claimed that he has divorced, asked me to patch up. So i asked for time to think. we communicate via email, msn and phone. he asked to meet. i turned him down. as i think it is not a gd idea to let emotion overtake gd judgement, and you really wont know how things will turn out after meeting up. he agreed. i think it is fair to only set a deadline, so i told him i will let him know the answer by october. he agreed too.

all this while, i have been considering. And all this while, he has asked to meet occasionally, i turned him down.

this morning, he insist that he wants to meet me this weekend, and want things to 'move', cos he is lonely and he is refraining himself from getting involved in other relationship while waiting for me.

i feel that this is absurd. this is too much. so if he wants, he can ignore me totally and dont meet me at all even though we were together (ie a couple). and now he is lonely, i must meet him despite i need the time to have a clear mind to think? :evil:

Is he disregarding my feelings? Does he really think i am a inferior being to him? Does he even respect me at all?



It seemed that your karmic bonds with him have yet to be severed because if it truly does, whatever he does, say or want wouldn't even compromise your original stand of wanting out initially.

If happiness is paramount to any relationship we are in; it seemed that you have wasted your emotions for more than half a year and yet decided to any significant decision to get him out of your life and move on.

You have chosen to end the relationship, but not your spiritual bonds with him. Your suffering derives largely from your karmic bonds with this man - not merely just the relationship.

Perhaps you are right about you being delusional; at this current stage, you are still questioning if he's disregarding your feelings? If you are the sort of person who needs absolute definite answer to any particular question, you will probably get none from him. He has been using this strategy to bind you emotionally (probably his ex-wife as well) and it's still rather effective till date because you are still affected and failed to be nonchalant.

If being evasive on his part can grant him the opportunity to stop you from walking out of him altogether - however remote - he would probably reckon that what are his chances if he's all open and honest, you wouldn't? It's akin to a salesman telling you everything bad about the product - would you buy something that gives you no incentive to purchase it?

This man reeks of a deceptive aura; albeit having a broken marriage isn't criminal, but surely, his failure in marriage suggested much about his inner condition that contributed at least 50% of the crumbling relationship with his ex-wife.

The theory is simple; if he's open, honest and all that positive qualities to assist his relationship to a better flow and outcome, a divorce isn't likely to take place because it would have saved his marriage instead. It is precisely because of his twisted emotional condition that manifested itself negatively that causes such upheaval and chaotic state in aspects of his love relationship.

Also people, before you start condemning man/woman coming out of failed marriage, I prayed that you have an open mind to understand that marriage isn't always the final judgement of love in our relationship - that component is always determined by our individual cosmic lessons. Some people do not have that fortune to love happily-ever-after after marriage because for some, it's where their lessons in love truly begin.

Our failure in love provides us the opportunity to understand love as unique individuals because essentially, how our emotions developed is based on our life experiences: how I grow and developed emotionally is vastly different from how each and every one of you does. But the bottom-line is that if we fail in seeking whatever enlightenment needed to achieve a break through from our doleful state in love, our cosmic lessons will reiterate itself until we perish trying.

It's no crime in loving a man/woman having out from a failed marriage - your choice only matters if you are loving an evolved individual or the same figure that 'manslaughtered' his/her relationship previously.

Which do you reckoned that your man belongs to?

Cheers