Aunt Agony IV 260807

Originally posted by silly&dumb:
I am posted overseas for work for 2 years. Before i left, both me and my bf agreed that this is a good test for our r/s.

All has been fine, until recently, I found myself developing a crush for one of my colleagues. 1st time .

From the time I acknowledged this "infatuation", I know it will head no where. Because also,we're from different parts of the world . i know this but I somehow got very attracted to him. Each time he gives me that charming wide smile, I find myself secretly going "gaga" inside.

to cut the long story short, I am in serious dilemma with myself. I find myself lost in a situation where i will always fnding reasons to place myself near him, or checking out where he is, what he is doing.

And these carried on for 2 weeks. But our contact is always a wide smile or short conversation with regards to the work he is doing.

everything was in stagnant phase until yesterday, I gathered up enough courage to sit beside him in the meeting room and then i said to him " i think you are very cute" in his language. I guessed he was quite surprised but he was all smiles.

Then today, we happened to be together for lunch, and on the walk back to the office, he suddenly asked me if i have a boyfriend.

that moment struck me. I had not expected him to ask me this and I seriously duno wad to say. No idea why he asked me that question which i regard as very "personal" and I pretended that i have not heard him. then he asked me again.

Then I told him that Im not sure, and maybe yes, maybe no. he asked why?
i just stammered and I just cannot lie completely.

I am such a hypocrite. But I don't know how to deal with myself.


LDR is not just any other test - it's a high risk gamble with regards to blind faith without physical presence; like believing in God without seeing God's avatar in person.

One truth is that not many can handle the implication of absolute freedom because when we are so dazzled by this fresh breath of freedom, we realised that we have so much powers on hand that we can do anything we want without being caught (or at least the accountability can be concealed).

Right now, it's so possible for you to cheat on your bf without his knowledge, fool around for a good two years and after you had your fun, you could go back to your boyfriend in Singapore and treat everything that took place as surreal (unless your conscience hinders you in any ways). Of course, by then, if you reckon that you loves his man better, you are also free to dump the guy in Singapore and continue this relationship.

A best of both worlds isn't it?

You are facing a factor most commonly attributed to the failures of LDRs - when you realised that you have new considerations. Imho, the lack of your bf's presence might have contributed to your initiatives, but nevertheless, when you talk about test, this is after all your 'examination question', therefore your dilemma is anticipated and isn't random.

You are not a hypocrite; you are just emotionally confused because this man wanted to check your on current 'status' and you felt that if you were to be truthful, it might eliminate whatever possibilities it could have been - whatever the possibilities your subconscious mind quietly desired.

Take it easy first. Yes, you might have felt something different in this man; but it's too early to decide on anything. It could be a product of your emotional needs not tendered while slogging overseas - seriously, you will never know. My suggestion is to be truthful with yourself, your circumstances and take it one at the time; making dubious replies will make you appear evasive.
Please allow time to give you some directions.

Cheers