Aunt Agony 010605

Quote:

Originally posted by edLow:
Confuse and the situation go:

ur colleague, J, ask u to be her bf. well, as both always play ard in office, thus u blur blur accept it, and she begin to treat u nicer and more caring, previously she one crazy and violent ger. the prob is u dont dare to admit to everyone except ur extreme close frds tat J is ur 'gf'. when ur colleagues suan u, u told them tat she just a normal frd to u. and within those closer frd in office, u just reply tat she's ur scandal. during this period of time, no physical contact (holding hands n sitting close together)

and things start to turn out bad. occasionally argue over small things and J start to show ur cold shoulder and at this moment of time, u start to realise, u like her.

so u decided to tell J bout it. but she reply u tat becos of the office r/s u 2 having now, she cant accept u. further more, u are getting a promotion soon and u will be her superior indirectly. things start to be quiet but after a few days later, u two start to call each other bf n gf again. playing n joking in office is still as usual but occasionally she show u her cold shoulder again. at the same time, u suspect she is going out with other guy, A, too. and perhaps she though u are going out with other gals too.

it ur bd, and u ask J and a few colleague go together with ur frds. tat nite, she was damn piss with u cos u was quite drunk n flirt with other gals, Y and O, rite in front of her. the following day, ur colleague, L, came and tell u tat u did something wrg. well, u donno wat L was try to say and decided to bo chap since she doesnt wan to explain too. another few days later, ur gal frd, Y, called u and told wat happen btwn u, Y and O tat nite and J's face was damn black tat time. again, u decided to bo chap and leave thing as it is... cold war

next J did something u really du lan, and u finally ignore her for gd. thinking it time to stop this rubbish. (J break with A ard this time.) 3 wks after ignoring J, she come apologise to u. war end and she start the bf-gf thing again, this time even husband-wife also come in. but she still show ur cold shoulder occasionally!

well u begun to realise something, all the while in ur heart, u say u like J. but u only say u like her to urself and ur closest frd. no action no talk. in front of ur frds, u pretend J is nobody to u. u donno why u are doing this, is it becos of self protection or u just doesnt willing to give. oh yes, ur attitude seem to be the same in ur last few r/s.

wat will u do, if u are the guy?
how will u feel if u are tat J?ans

How do you expect your situation to turn out from the way it was handled? The confusion was conjured right from your own doings. If you wanna flirt around innocently without any strings attached, make sure you stick to its rule. Do not began the game and alter the variables later on, you will serve to confuse and bring troubles later on.

You are like the typical greenhorn salesman; the one that tells you alot about his product, the function, the benefits your consumer are getting, etc - but doesn't really know how to close to deal. What you are doing is merely futile, similar to that of this typical greenhorn salesman. To know about your feelings..hint...know...acknowledge... is nothing - to SAY them and to PROPOSE a relationship, guang ming zheng da, is two drastic level.

You can't blame her for the cold war and attitude. Two reasons:

I) This is an office relationship. Cold war is common and has pretty high rate of occurence and frequency.

II) Dubious position and status.

If you fell for her and everything else isn't too complicating BY NATURE, I say go for it (Please note that this complication wasn't by nature, it was man-made). If you have to lose a relationship in the future, make sure you lose it being the boyfriend, not someone who belong to neither here nor there.

P.S: Having same previous attitude in the past doesn't justify your stance forever. You got to learn to be different other times in your life.

Cheers