Aunt Agony 160505

Quote:

Originally posted by Steph84:
Hi there...

Let me descibe the situation...

You have a stable bf of 1.5 yrs.. the 2 of u all are comfortable with each other, know each other inside out, had ur share of major quarrels n all... ur bf consider the relationship a stable one... a dependable one....

But you, on the other hand, think that u can do with more security in the relationship. Ur bf's family background is not exactly desirable... he's is less well-off than you. In fact, you have to pay more on dates and also at times take care of his financial needs.

The most inportant factor troubling you is the attitude he holds towards his studies. He is faring poorer than u. A partner fares poorer than u doesn't appeal to u.

Nonetheless, time has told u he is loving and caring most of the time... during this period that the two of you are together.

Recently, you met this new guy.

You do not yet know that much about his family background, but he seems to be better off than ur bf. He also seems to be more goal-oriented and steadfast in working out his life. Education-wise, he fares better than ur bf. In fact, he's just graduated and will be working soon.

So far, he is nice, gentlemanly and all... and the two of u get along great... despite knowing each other not for long, the 2 of you are really comfortable with each other. The few dates that you've been on with him, you throughly enjoyed yourself. He has also expressed his interest in pursuing a relationship with you clearly.

What'd you do in such a situation? Risk it with the new guy u met? Or think that love conquers all and rough it out with ur bf and see wad is the ending?

You have probably experience new phrases in your preception of BGR subconsciously. Previously, what you deemed as acceptable, changeable or even able to compromise, has evolved. The biological and natural woman's 'investment' needs spring forth - the greater need for financial-related-future security.

This is pretty normal (especially if you are Virgo, Capricorn or Taurus).

Your last paragraph speaks of your possible options: you could either try it out with the new guy or rough it out with your current bf. However, pretty likely, I could see your desire to break free from this relationship.

Quote:

A partner fares poorer than u doesn't appeal to u.

You are entitlted to the kind of partner you seek, obviously if your boyfriend doesn't appeal to you and you are remaining in the relationship for the sake of duty, responsibility and probably due to length of time, something is really wrong somewhere. You also note that this anti-seductive-passion-killing thingy is all about you, while your boyfriend, is presuming, being pretty happy in the relationship.

Nothing works one-sided.

Always attempt to save your ship before you abandon it, like what the navy captain would do in event of a damaged ship. Repair, repair and repair until you find that it's getting hopeless, before you call for a abandonment. IMHO, you haven't reach to that stage yet, then seek out proper communication channels to discuss these sticky issue like matured couple.

You MUST let him know about your dis-satisfaction about the current bleak future and MUST either motiviate, propose a mutual solution or both. From there, you will make your own judgement.

Cheers