Originally posted by kitji:
Hi,
I have a prob that has been bothering me since last night. Needs advice.
My fiance and I are planning to ROM this year. We have been together for almost 2 years now.
He used to be in a relationship with this fren of mine, which I saw named her as Elle.
Barely 2 months into the relationship, Elle broke up with him. Not long after, my fiance and I committed into a new relationship. It was full of ups and downs, problem mainly lies in my shortcomings. In the beginning of this year, everything went on smoothly for us for I've compromised and learnt to correct my shortcomings and so did my fiance.
Last 2 weeks ago, we decided to ROM as we feel that time is right and we have learnt to accomodate and love each other for what and who we are.
Last night, I went out for dinner with Elle and shared with her this piece of news. She looked surprised and shared with me that in Feb, my fiance had met her for lunch (which I was aware of) and was sharing with her about us being not compatible in some ways and he wasn't sure if we were able to work out.
I was quite disturbed with what was shared with me. However, there was a turning point in my relationship with my fiance in March when he was in India for business trip. The short duration made us realise how important our presence means to each other. Things change very much for the better since then and he popped the BIG question 2 weeks ago.
Elle told me not to think too much and perhaps things really work out now and thus whatever was shared with her would very much be invalid but somehow, I have a problem in convincing myself.
What're your opinions then? All I know is that my fiance and I are able to get along very well and we're very much in sync but is such fact enough? My heart and intuition tell me that he's the one but why am I still bothered with what was shared with me last night?
What she is saying may be true and if she didn't have ulterior motives, there is no reason why she could lie. But do note that the cusps of the problem doesn't lies with what she says or does she have any hidden motives or whatever - its about YOU.
Your man probably said that as part of a conversation with a friend about his relationship, but does that suggest anything negative? To me, it's merely a causal rant, mixed with a little small worry about his relationship.
OMG, at least your man worries about your relationship with you (If it means anything to you: it would be completely different if he tells her that, while react normally to you in day to day life. Of course, yours is not the case, as he popped the big question: his actions speaks louder than words).
'You have your flaws... yes... but I am willingly to work with you, through a marriage...'
Have you considered this as the actual idea? 
P.S: If you wanna ride better through your relationship, learn to extinguish the flame of negativity. It will help you so much. 
Cheers
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