Aunt Agony 180505

Quote:

Originally posted by Steph84:
thanks for ur insightful reply...

I think in my bf's view, all is well... he is the happy-go-lucky sort.. i think he feels that if there is love, anything goes.... but me, on the other hand, feels that though love is important, other things like financial stability, a man's ambitions and etc, are equally important also.

Actually i have raised this issue to him many many many many times.... and u should see how i nag him to study.... i really feel at times like, how come he is so many years my senior, and yet so immature and lazy....... in my view, he doesn't set his priorities right. He is never consistent in his studies... and when his lousy results come out, he sinks into depression. And yet, when a new sem starts, he never learns from his mistakes.

The thought of leaving him flashes acrosses my mind often.. but, i also feel that i shouldn't be so cruel to him... cos his life depends much on me, i feel... financial-wise, mental support and company.... he doesn't have much close friends... i also know he is the kind of guy with a fragile heart.... hai... so i feel if i leave him, he sure very sad... this is also keeping me with him....

of cos, our many happy times together also makes me attached to him.... anyway, now i realise that getting out of a serious relationship is such a complex thing... it is never simple as just taking a knife to chop off all ties... i will let nature take its course i guess.

It seemed to me that you did numerous attempt in trying to instill the kind of drive for him to work towards his own future (and the relationship), however it also seemed that your message didn't get across somehow. Getting him to study is level one, knowing WHY and the REASON behind it is level two - he never seemed to knew the ACTUAL reason because he probably thought that you are doing your duty as gf to nag him to.

The idea behind the whole communication wasn't communicated effectively - futile.

If you have to trash things out, then you have to. Reason being very simple: you will likely to leave him for another man if things continues: this is a straight fact. You two share very different attitude and preception towards your own relationship and eventually it will cause a breakdown somewhere.

Love is about looking in the same direction, not just at one another - you can't survive a relationship simply through your sweet little things. Its memorable, no doubt about it, but you will need more substance if you desire your relationship to go somewhere.

P.S: Extinguish all forms of self pity - your relationship will go nowhere with it.

Cheers.