Quote:
Originally posted by pinksnowie:
I know my current bf thru a mutual friend.
Both of us just broke off with our exes... And we were sorta keeping each other company, lending shoulders to cry and listening ears. After a very short while, we fell in love with each other. And we have been together till now...
we have been together for 4mths. Somehow I cant help thinking about his previous relationship. Cos he loved his ex alot, even proposed to her and she agreed. And they had been together for abt 4yrs! And he even cried when he talked about her (when we were just friends)... Sometime I wonder why I worry so much. Sometime I am worried cos I love him alot and dont want to lose him...
Another thing is, he has wandering eyes and sometimes his eyes will follow wherever the girls go. According to some of my friends, I should just let him see the girls. I know I cant restrict him to keep his eyes on me, but why should he keeps his eyes on them wherever they go? I told him how I feel. He said he is only just looking, not thinking of them (to me, oogling them is bad, must lest the thinking of them!). And he also says he can only look and cannot touch them, so why should I mind so much? From then onwards, whenever I mention a beautiful person, he will say he dont dare to see lest I am jealous. Erm... So what does this mean?
Conclusion: Both of us are madly in love with each other. I am more vocal in my feelings, and he will say I am too sensitive or paranoid. I dont want to be seem as so, yet I cant control expressing my feelings... And I want to get rid of these insecurities and he is not helping... What should I do?
What's completely secured? Is there such a thing? Even the 'Best Love' you could hold this lifetime could never give you a 100% security.
You two had just left your individual relationship shortly before coming together; let me reassure you that it would be impossible for him to completely sever his connection (heart, mind and soul) with his ex of four years in such short span of time. Your insecurity is not unfounded, but it may not be wise to step into it so quickly.
The more intense the flame burns, the faster it dies.
You are madly in love with him; and love made you have the desire to possess his personal three realms (Physical, Psychological and Psyche). To be afraid to lose your relationship is normal, however to be overly paranoid about it will actually cause a subconscious impact into the relationship, straining it.
Trust and your own security is like seesaw - the more trust input, you feel more insecured and this shouldn't be the case. It should be proportionate and not inverse.
P.S: Here's a question for you to consider: do you think that your love could be just companionship after an aftermath of a failed relationship? You speak naught of your previous relationship; I suppose you have already moved on.
But him? 
Cheers
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