Originally posted by SoonKeong:
I'm currently having this relationship with my gf for 3 years. All have been fine until she started working as an engineer months ago. She start to work 9am to 9pm, mon to sat, which meant only sunday is free for me.
I'm serving my ns now, which meant most of the time, i can only be out during the weekends. I dont know about the others, but i firmly believe a relationship can only last when it is been maintain together, example is like physically meeting and not only chat on phone or smses.
Things started to detoriate when i complain to her that i'm feeling very sian. Reason was i felt nelgected due to her work and she doesnt really make the effort to call me during lunch or dinner. Of course she did call once a while, but having a work which requires her to work the hours like she was having her final year exam, i felt there was a need for a more "quality" communication.
This week i was having my leave from monday to thursday. I told her why she couldnt be more "zhi dong" as in to come over to stay since we already have too little time for eachother. But as usual she will blow up and insist i dont understand her. What is the resonale behind this? I only ask her to be a little more zhi dong only to be slap across the face as branded as "not understanding " ? Am i asking her too much when time is the one that is drifting us part?
Thus, she quarrel with me all the time saying things like i dont trust her and i'm too immature becoz i cant understand what she is doing. But seriously, who in the world can tolerate when he can only phyically see his gf once a week and weekdays was like strangers?
She never think of giving in when she was the one who is giving so much absences. And always like to think she is not in the fault and keep aruging in loud volume that she has no choice and i dont trust her and dont understand her.
Since long ago, she started to take things for granted. She no longer take the iniative to meet me at mrts during going out and instead always insist me waiting for her at mrts. She no longer buy me stuff where she used to buy me cute toys and sweets and even i complain hungry in camp, she never even think of buying things for me to eat in there. She no longer give in during quarrel and always insist i'm the one at fault.
Today i spot check her handphone and find that there is tonnes of this fucker who keep feeding her with smses and phone call. When been asked who the hell is he, she immediately blow out, as if she kana slapped in the face.
Honestly, is this what a gf should behave? i really dont know. I started to feel drifted becoz we are having quarrel more frequently then having dinner together. Keep saying want to maintain relationship but yet have this kinda thing and expect me to cool off and be a man?
I guess this is like the final stage of 'cancer', preceding death. Telling you to input more trust into your relationship will probably not be able to salvage this Love as your relationship suffered more damages from constant quarrels and arguments.
The more logics you used to justify this series of quarrels, the more frustrated you become and the further she drifted away from you. Eventually, your potential 'competitor' appeared more attractive as your value slump. You may think that she has changed drastically; I am sure this feeling is mutual and this probably sets your relationship on declining mode.
You expect understanding from her, but at the same time, I don't think you have given the sort of understanding she seek. For example, checking of mobile phone is a blatant sign of mistrust. One may argue that being open is true honesty, but gnawing beneath that pseudo-honesty is great insecurity.
And like all insecure people - your need for control is overwhelming and when you exert control over your significant other, everything goes down from there onwards.
I believe you do understand that you cannot prevent love from slipping away, should she fly away one day.
Absence to a relationship is like what wind is to fire; extinguish the small and rekindle the great.
Cheers
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Aunt Agony 300806
Originally posted by xShevchenkox:
When u treated her too well and too sincere, she dun appreciate it at all de
l still hav the shadows of my last r/s...l remember l was kept being scold and scold for no reason by my ex....even if l had try my best in putting things rite...l am still scold..the words that she used to scold me....the scolding of me continuosly had occasionally appeared in my mind and l feel tired and want cry out at times when l think of it...y must l be scold when l have done nthing wrong ? Imagine...sumone scolding you...and u hav to keep quiet and apologise...how is that feeling? Now l think back...it is like humiliation and l feel that my integrity and morality had been trampled... l will never be able to brush it away...not that l am petty...l oso dun noe how to put it.. My last r/s experience is too painful...sumhow l reali hope this had not started in the 1st place, although it has been the past....l am not sad anymore...but the scar of this incident still is in me...From this incident..l learn sumtinz too...
R/s is sumtinz that reali nver last...the 1st 3 months maybe honeymoon period, after that into quarrels and conflicts and then into breakup...kinda sad.. dont understand what they want oso
Maybe in a r/s, l think it is better not to get engrossly into it...it might not hurt so much after all when u put in minimal efforts...
Some Girls, l dun meant all... cant be satisfied no matter how hard u try..
Originally posted by olala
Since ur mindset is rooted to the fact that locals girls are liek that,then u shld lookelse where
our locals gals cant make it in terms of charecter la
true la theres good one,but the chances of u throwing ur line in and hooking up seaweeds is so darn high
We are all stars, born without a name. Our potential is limitless.
Then we are brought up in human environment and are subjected to our harsh surrounding. We are affected by our immediate families, ethnic background, social/moral codes, religion, etc.
Then we shape a story we constantly repeat to ourselves.
This reiterated habit becomes part of our mindset, which unfolds our destiny.
And when we implement a mindset like Olala, our conviction becomes a truth; a distorted truth in which we follow and assume truth in distortion.
We continued to be led... in this unenlightened state, pointing fingers at others when the root of problem lies with ourselves. It's not hard to imagine how Love would have turn out eventually, because our core beliefs are filled with so much biased, negative perceptions that it impede our growth in love.
Is our pain inflicted by our partners? Or are we too verdant to understand our choices and our Love, which causes our agony?
We all fall badly somewhere in this cosmic journey of love, but how we handle this injury will reflect what's going to happen in the future. You are free to equip yourself with the mindset presented by Olala, I will not refute that opinion because everyone is entitled to theirs.
But pray tell me how is that going to assist you to a better person or even, to seek for a better relationship? Simply by hiding in an ivory tower and be cynical because you are now protective of your ego and reject powerful lessons that could built you?
This is the mindset you are going to adopt for yourself, which in turn, will have great influence on the kind of partner you will attract and how it will turn out to be. It is so much easier to go with the flow, reckon how Love is ephemeral, than having to walk against the current and surmount it.
This is your inaugural relationship and you have just barely started.
And if you can't even surpass this by accepting it as a larger picture to your eventual journey in love, you will perish before you achieve anything in love.
P.S: Arrogance and conceited ego has no place in Love. Those that adopted it will witness how love would attempt to reshape our defiant spirit and introduce chaos to annihilate our wrecked mindset.
P.S: Arrogance and conceited ego has no place in Love. Those that adopted it will witness how love would attempt to reshape their defiant spirit and introduce chaos to annihilate wrecked mindset.
Mature.
Cheers
When u treated her too well and too sincere, she dun appreciate it at all de
l still hav the shadows of my last r/s...l remember l was kept being scold and scold for no reason by my ex....even if l had try my best in putting things rite...l am still scold..the words that she used to scold me....the scolding of me continuosly had occasionally appeared in my mind and l feel tired and want cry out at times when l think of it...y must l be scold when l have done nthing wrong ? Imagine...sumone scolding you...and u hav to keep quiet and apologise...how is that feeling? Now l think back...it is like humiliation and l feel that my integrity and morality had been trampled... l will never be able to brush it away...not that l am petty...l oso dun noe how to put it.. My last r/s experience is too painful...sumhow l reali hope this had not started in the 1st place, although it has been the past....l am not sad anymore...but the scar of this incident still is in me...From this incident..l learn sumtinz too...
R/s is sumtinz that reali nver last...the 1st 3 months maybe honeymoon period, after that into quarrels and conflicts and then into breakup...kinda sad.. dont understand what they want oso
Maybe in a r/s, l think it is better not to get engrossly into it...it might not hurt so much after all when u put in minimal efforts...
Some Girls, l dun meant all... cant be satisfied no matter how hard u try..
Originally posted by olala
Since ur mindset is rooted to the fact that locals girls are liek that,then u shld lookelse where
our locals gals cant make it in terms of charecter la
true la theres good one,but the chances of u throwing ur line in and hooking up seaweeds is so darn high
We are all stars, born without a name. Our potential is limitless.
Then we are brought up in human environment and are subjected to our harsh surrounding. We are affected by our immediate families, ethnic background, social/moral codes, religion, etc.
Then we shape a story we constantly repeat to ourselves.
This reiterated habit becomes part of our mindset, which unfolds our destiny.
And when we implement a mindset like Olala, our conviction becomes a truth; a distorted truth in which we follow and assume truth in distortion.
We continued to be led... in this unenlightened state, pointing fingers at others when the root of problem lies with ourselves. It's not hard to imagine how Love would have turn out eventually, because our core beliefs are filled with so much biased, negative perceptions that it impede our growth in love.
Is our pain inflicted by our partners? Or are we too verdant to understand our choices and our Love, which causes our agony?
We all fall badly somewhere in this cosmic journey of love, but how we handle this injury will reflect what's going to happen in the future. You are free to equip yourself with the mindset presented by Olala, I will not refute that opinion because everyone is entitled to theirs.
But pray tell me how is that going to assist you to a better person or even, to seek for a better relationship? Simply by hiding in an ivory tower and be cynical because you are now protective of your ego and reject powerful lessons that could built you?
This is the mindset you are going to adopt for yourself, which in turn, will have great influence on the kind of partner you will attract and how it will turn out to be. It is so much easier to go with the flow, reckon how Love is ephemeral, than having to walk against the current and surmount it.
This is your inaugural relationship and you have just barely started.
And if you can't even surpass this by accepting it as a larger picture to your eventual journey in love, you will perish before you achieve anything in love.
P.S: Arrogance and conceited ego has no place in Love. Those that adopted it will witness how love would attempt to reshape our defiant spirit and introduce chaos to annihilate our wrecked mindset.
P.S: Arrogance and conceited ego has no place in Love. Those that adopted it will witness how love would attempt to reshape their defiant spirit and introduce chaos to annihilate wrecked mindset.
Mature.
Cheers
Monday, August 28, 2006
Zen (And me?)
Not much Aunt Agony cases reported these days; or at least those I bothered to handle. But nevertheless, I will still update my blog (I will reserve one topic for my National Service experience, after ORD, which I can foresee it to be a fcuking lengthy page).
I am reading a book by Charlotte Kasl - titled 'Zen and The Art of Falling in Love'. How this book mysteriously ended up in my collection is pretty interesting; I found the book in a cab when I was coming home (midnight), brought it back and shove it some corner. I didn't even bother to read the title or even explore the content until today.
And I found the book almost one year ago (I think).
What I liked about it is its philosophical approach to Love - somewhat akin to CloUdiSm, my self-styled book. And perhaps my soul is getting restless - I am beginning to feel that time is too ephemeral to be wasting on mundane stuff like dota gaming, when there is much unaccomplishment waiting to be accomplish. There is this growing, surging drive, stirring incessantly and creating much uneasiness. I don't even think any could sympathise what I am going through because somehow I feel like I am hauled into an alternate dimension of needs.
I see knowledge as seductive and I see it as a path for me to end this series of arid activities when weekend approaches.
I shall do whatsoever is needed to restore my personal balance and also, pray to find a job ASAP.
I am bleeding financially and I cannot cope soon.
Cheers
I am reading a book by Charlotte Kasl - titled 'Zen and The Art of Falling in Love'. How this book mysteriously ended up in my collection is pretty interesting; I found the book in a cab when I was coming home (midnight), brought it back and shove it some corner. I didn't even bother to read the title or even explore the content until today.
And I found the book almost one year ago (I think).
What I liked about it is its philosophical approach to Love - somewhat akin to CloUdiSm, my self-styled book. And perhaps my soul is getting restless - I am beginning to feel that time is too ephemeral to be wasting on mundane stuff like dota gaming, when there is much unaccomplishment waiting to be accomplish. There is this growing, surging drive, stirring incessantly and creating much uneasiness. I don't even think any could sympathise what I am going through because somehow I feel like I am hauled into an alternate dimension of needs.
I see knowledge as seductive and I see it as a path for me to end this series of arid activities when weekend approaches.
I shall do whatsoever is needed to restore my personal balance and also, pray to find a job ASAP.
I am bleeding financially and I cannot cope soon.
Cheers
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Blue Roses
Dear has not been in the best state of health these period.
Anyway, here's the flowers she gave me.
Double check her astrological transition, don't think there is much of an issue until transit Saturn opposite her natal aqua moon in 11th house (which will probably end of the year bah), which spells depression and probably health issue with stomach and bad cramps. Think better to avoid cold drinks near the end of the year.
Progression wise, progressed MC is closing in towards radical Moon and until then, shouldn't be much changes to job. Progressed AC is soon to be entering Sign of Gemini - probably will be taking note to her physical outlook then. Lucky thing her Pluto not very close to her Descedant; I fast foward 60 more years (macham the movie 'Click') and progressed Pluto only move 4 degree. Phew.
If it does and if we were destined to be together throughout this lifetime - I can roughly guess when death will knock my door.
SCARY!!!!
Cheers
Anyway, here's the flowers she gave me.
Double check her astrological transition, don't think there is much of an issue until transit Saturn opposite her natal aqua moon in 11th house (which will probably end of the year bah), which spells depression and probably health issue with stomach and bad cramps. Think better to avoid cold drinks near the end of the year.
Progression wise, progressed MC is closing in towards radical Moon and until then, shouldn't be much changes to job. Progressed AC is soon to be entering Sign of Gemini - probably will be taking note to her physical outlook then. Lucky thing her Pluto not very close to her Descedant; I fast foward 60 more years (macham the movie 'Click') and progressed Pluto only move 4 degree. Phew.
If it does and if we were destined to be together throughout this lifetime - I can roughly guess when death will knock my door.
SCARY!!!!
Cheers
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Aunt Agony 200806 (yunhaier X BBB)
Originally posted by soulness:
How many "wrong" partner u meet before u can find ur Mr or Miss RIGHT?
Originally posted by browniebaobao:
The 'RIGHT' person may not really be the right person..
why do I say that?
Perhaps bcos of the few wrong persons that we have met.. age and other pressure make us lower our expectations or willing to settle down with someone who is not that 'perfect'.. and we call that person Mr/Ms Right.
If I dun think he is the right one at that moment, I wun even want to go on a r/s with him.. sometimes there's really a wide gap between your perception of him/her and reality.
I think firstly, we need to define what's 'wrong' or what's 'right', when in fact, to me, it's all the same. I think for a start, we should learn to love our significant other/s like our last because it's pretty sad to know that here you are loving someone and there you are wondering at the back of your head if he/she is the 'wrong' one.
You made your choice; accepted every variable presented and was given a choice to consider them.
Whether he/she is 'wrong' - that is the crucial time to consider carefully. If that consideration only comes after acceptance, you are putting the cart before the horse, and obviously it is a question of 'wrong choices' and not 'wrong person'.
I wouldn't call it lowering of expectation - I call it gradual self discovery and understanding through others, which will in turn fine tune our expectation and ideology towards Love. If you have a possessive freak that began to see possessiveness as a flaw and take steps to amend it, by your definition, that would constitute 'lowering of expectation' when in fact, it is for the better of him, don't you think?
Ultimately, it's still freewill.
If people are accepting each other merely because of external pressure and calling them 'right' - then they shall learn the truth of it... either to live with the truth or die by its blade.
Some may argue that it's impossible for know if someone is suitable unless you are in a relationship with him/her. It's true - I wouldn't be able to tell 100% as well. But like EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE, nothing is absolute. It doesn't mean we eliminate consideration and avoid taking calculated risk just because we won't know.
P.S: Our love life doesn't have a destination. In fact, the destination depends on the route we opt to take. If we could turn back time and pick another choice, everything else will change and we see ourselves in new 'destination/s'.
If we have to meet a few 'Mr/Ms Wrong' before a 'Mr/Ms Right' - being part of the equation, shouldn't the 'wrong' be 'right' because eventually, we still believe that it does lead us to our 'Mr/Ms Right', isn't it? (Like mathematics, the solution lies not just merely in the answer, but also the component/s of our working steps before we derive the eventual answer).
Cheers
How many "wrong" partner u meet before u can find ur Mr or Miss RIGHT?
Originally posted by browniebaobao:
The 'RIGHT' person may not really be the right person..
why do I say that?
Perhaps bcos of the few wrong persons that we have met.. age and other pressure make us lower our expectations or willing to settle down with someone who is not that 'perfect'.. and we call that person Mr/Ms Right.
If I dun think he is the right one at that moment, I wun even want to go on a r/s with him.. sometimes there's really a wide gap between your perception of him/her and reality.
I think firstly, we need to define what's 'wrong' or what's 'right', when in fact, to me, it's all the same. I think for a start, we should learn to love our significant other/s like our last because it's pretty sad to know that here you are loving someone and there you are wondering at the back of your head if he/she is the 'wrong' one.
You made your choice; accepted every variable presented and was given a choice to consider them.
Whether he/she is 'wrong' - that is the crucial time to consider carefully. If that consideration only comes after acceptance, you are putting the cart before the horse, and obviously it is a question of 'wrong choices' and not 'wrong person'.
I wouldn't call it lowering of expectation - I call it gradual self discovery and understanding through others, which will in turn fine tune our expectation and ideology towards Love. If you have a possessive freak that began to see possessiveness as a flaw and take steps to amend it, by your definition, that would constitute 'lowering of expectation' when in fact, it is for the better of him, don't you think?
Ultimately, it's still freewill.
If people are accepting each other merely because of external pressure and calling them 'right' - then they shall learn the truth of it... either to live with the truth or die by its blade.
Some may argue that it's impossible for know if someone is suitable unless you are in a relationship with him/her. It's true - I wouldn't be able to tell 100% as well. But like EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE, nothing is absolute. It doesn't mean we eliminate consideration and avoid taking calculated risk just because we won't know.
P.S: Our love life doesn't have a destination. In fact, the destination depends on the route we opt to take. If we could turn back time and pick another choice, everything else will change and we see ourselves in new 'destination/s'.
If we have to meet a few 'Mr/Ms Wrong' before a 'Mr/Ms Right' - being part of the equation, shouldn't the 'wrong' be 'right' because eventually, we still believe that it does lead us to our 'Mr/Ms Right', isn't it? (Like mathematics, the solution lies not just merely in the answer, but also the component/s of our working steps before we derive the eventual answer).
Cheers
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Happy Birthday 06
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!
In astrology, we call this day Solar Return (Never mind about that though; nobody knows what the shit I am talking about).
Here's MYRS wishing me Happy Birthday (HAHAHAHHAHAHHAA!):
P.S: I received 20 blue roses from Candy!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Although damn weird ah... but I appreciate all affection thrown at me.
Just got to say thank you and love you! *HuGz*
Cheers
In astrology, we call this day Solar Return (Never mind about that though; nobody knows what the shit I am talking about).
Here's MYRS wishing me Happy Birthday (HAHAHAHHAHAHHAA!):
P.S: I received 20 blue roses from Candy!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Although damn weird ah... but I appreciate all affection thrown at me.
Just got to say thank you and love you! *HuGz*
Cheers
Aunt Agony 160806
Originally posted by starlight_dm:
I got a very good friend at my workplace. Though we are both married, we talk and share a lot. Can talk anything under the sun. We share our sorrows , happiness and many personal things. I feels that she cares for me. When I am down, she will also try to talk to me and give a pat on the shoulder. Vice versa. To an extend, I realized I talk to her more than talking to my wife. We also go out quite often (just 2 of us). I will buy her gifts and meals. She will buy me tie, watch, makan etc. Our actions and behavior are just like a any couple. At times, she will even be upset with me if I dun treat her well.
When I am overseas, I will email her daily. During nights and weekends, we will sms one another. Occassionally, we will go out for a walk or for a meal. More recently, I feel so attached to her that I feel uncomfortable not seeing her for just one day!
As for my wfe, we dun talk much. She is also not sensitive type. Think she is more interested in her tv programme than talking to me.
On one hand, I am very fortunate to have such a good friend. On the other hand, I sensed that I begin to like her. Dun get me wrong, we did not engaged in sexual related activity. I dun want to break up her family but I can't control my emotion at times.
Can someone give me some constructive advice what I should do?
Do you realise that all these thingy should be channelled to your wife, in which it would probably work towards a fulfilling marriage?
You are providing excuses to yourself to avoid putting the commitment into your own chosen marriage. You think your wife is more interested in her TV programs than you - have you not done anything, like you did for your good friend, to blossom your own love?
You are playing with fire my friend - because should there be a day when crisis slam into your marriage - you will run away incontrovertibly and turn to her for emotional support. This escape, when in fact you should be standing firm and fight the adversary of circumstances, will cause your love to abate gradually.
This is the effect of love after marriage - I vaguely recalled an astrological phenomenon regarding this issue (Moon Square Uranus) - about people falling in love after marriage.
Your feeling is a sign that you should focus more ATTENTION and AFFECTION towards your wife. You don't have to avoid your good friend, just spent more time and resource on your wife because she is your woman. Of course, if the feeling is overwhelming, then avoid putting yourself into tricky predicament which you reckon you cannot possibly handle. If you don't wish to save yourself and prefer to indulge in this sweet torment, you will face whatever consequence it will stir from beneath.
Behind every love's defeat - begins from a simple excuse. Should you neglect your marriage due to a simple friendship, this friendship is no longer simple.
Cheers
I got a very good friend at my workplace. Though we are both married, we talk and share a lot. Can talk anything under the sun. We share our sorrows , happiness and many personal things. I feels that she cares for me. When I am down, she will also try to talk to me and give a pat on the shoulder. Vice versa. To an extend, I realized I talk to her more than talking to my wife. We also go out quite often (just 2 of us). I will buy her gifts and meals. She will buy me tie, watch, makan etc. Our actions and behavior are just like a any couple. At times, she will even be upset with me if I dun treat her well.
When I am overseas, I will email her daily. During nights and weekends, we will sms one another. Occassionally, we will go out for a walk or for a meal. More recently, I feel so attached to her that I feel uncomfortable not seeing her for just one day!
As for my wfe, we dun talk much. She is also not sensitive type. Think she is more interested in her tv programme than talking to me.
On one hand, I am very fortunate to have such a good friend. On the other hand, I sensed that I begin to like her. Dun get me wrong, we did not engaged in sexual related activity. I dun want to break up her family but I can't control my emotion at times.
Can someone give me some constructive advice what I should do?
Do you realise that all these thingy should be channelled to your wife, in which it would probably work towards a fulfilling marriage?
You are providing excuses to yourself to avoid putting the commitment into your own chosen marriage. You think your wife is more interested in her TV programs than you - have you not done anything, like you did for your good friend, to blossom your own love?
You are playing with fire my friend - because should there be a day when crisis slam into your marriage - you will run away incontrovertibly and turn to her for emotional support. This escape, when in fact you should be standing firm and fight the adversary of circumstances, will cause your love to abate gradually.
This is the effect of love after marriage - I vaguely recalled an astrological phenomenon regarding this issue (Moon Square Uranus) - about people falling in love after marriage.
Your feeling is a sign that you should focus more ATTENTION and AFFECTION towards your wife. You don't have to avoid your good friend, just spent more time and resource on your wife because she is your woman. Of course, if the feeling is overwhelming, then avoid putting yourself into tricky predicament which you reckon you cannot possibly handle. If you don't wish to save yourself and prefer to indulge in this sweet torment, you will face whatever consequence it will stir from beneath.
Behind every love's defeat - begins from a simple excuse. Should you neglect your marriage due to a simple friendship, this friendship is no longer simple.
Cheers
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Aunt Agony 150806
Originally posted by Sockhwa:
[b]I used to have sweet and good boyfriend.. i always think he will be my onli one.. But unfortunately, an unexpected nightmare had came.. He broke up with me.. Many reasons he gave, but i don know e real reason.. to wat i feel, he is sick of our relationship and me ba.. I really don know all e while he is thinking of this.. Bearing with my temper and unreasonable.. He look very happy when he is with me.. If he had to told me, i will surely changed.. I really don know... It Is my fault.. I should be more understanding towards his feeling.. But now he is together another girl after we broke up less than one week.. is because he changed heart that y he broke with me? i really don know.. I love him alot, and we been together 4 one and half years already and all e memories we shared, he k give up so easily.. i always hope i am e heartless one and not him.. at least i wont be so sad.. I know this is not totally his fault.. I got my fault too .. If i got e chance to get back with him, i will treat him very good.. let him be most fortunate guy in e world.. BUt is this possible? Nope.. What is gone is already gone.. Maybe if he and me still have fate or maybe he still love me, we will get back ba.. I really don know wat my life will be.. I hate to feel sad and miserable.. I hate myself too but i don hate him at all. I am e main cause..
Guys usually won't tell you how miserable they are; they usually show it by leaving the relationship. It is a sign of weakness to be seen miserable and feeble in love.
Devoid of communication? Without a doubt, you will face shipwreck. You cannot 'think' into a relationship because it 'seemed like that' - you assume things without proper communication - you will eventually come to know that actually, you knew nothing.
P.S: That's the reason why we must constantly be told that we are loved and not 'think' that probably he/she does. Knowing is not enough; we like to be told that we are loved. It's not about the obvious; it's about communication.
Cheers
[b]I used to have sweet and good boyfriend.. i always think he will be my onli one.. But unfortunately, an unexpected nightmare had came.. He broke up with me.. Many reasons he gave, but i don know e real reason.. to wat i feel, he is sick of our relationship and me ba.. I really don know all e while he is thinking of this.. Bearing with my temper and unreasonable.. He look very happy when he is with me.. If he had to told me, i will surely changed.. I really don know... It Is my fault.. I should be more understanding towards his feeling.. But now he is together another girl after we broke up less than one week.. is because he changed heart that y he broke with me? i really don know.. I love him alot, and we been together 4 one and half years already and all e memories we shared, he k give up so easily.. i always hope i am e heartless one and not him.. at least i wont be so sad.. I know this is not totally his fault.. I got my fault too .. If i got e chance to get back with him, i will treat him very good.. let him be most fortunate guy in e world.. BUt is this possible? Nope.. What is gone is already gone.. Maybe if he and me still have fate or maybe he still love me, we will get back ba.. I really don know wat my life will be.. I hate to feel sad and miserable.. I hate myself too but i don hate him at all. I am e main cause..
Guys usually won't tell you how miserable they are; they usually show it by leaving the relationship. It is a sign of weakness to be seen miserable and feeble in love.
Devoid of communication? Without a doubt, you will face shipwreck. You cannot 'think' into a relationship because it 'seemed like that' - you assume things without proper communication - you will eventually come to know that actually, you knew nothing.
P.S: That's the reason why we must constantly be told that we are loved and not 'think' that probably he/she does. Knowing is not enough; we like to be told that we are loved. It's not about the obvious; it's about communication.
Cheers
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Aunt Agony 120806
Originally posted by myownlife:
(Refering to AA 110806)
i have a similar problem.
The thing is, i've been with him for going 6 years, Since my secondary school days. Now that i'm in final year poly, he's in ite.
i dare not show my mom my boyfriend cause we don't usually communicate. My parents are never at home as they are busy working .
But knowing my parents well, they want me to lead a better life than them. Mom always ask me to find a rich boyfriend. So i don't know how to bring him home.
i love him and i don't mind the differences. its just that, i don't know how to tell my parents.
My course of study is business and in my futre i'm going to take over my family business as for him, he doesn't know where he is heading. I really don't mind being better off than him since we've been together this long. but, i know my parents will mind and, i'm afraid he minds too coz no mater what, guys will always be guys. they have their ego.
loooking at the other thread make me realize that i'm somehow lost, should i be mama girl and leave him for someone better, coz i don't wish to.
or should i go for what i want, be with my heart.
some advice is greatly appreciated.
Compatibility is relative.
If you reckon that compatibility is a perplex issue (in your case... education), chances are, it will bother you because it is relative to how you perceive what's important to you in love.
You will probably see your relationship getting estranged by the invisible overwhelming pressure you think your parents has put on you - it probably wouldn't survive as long as you are stuck in between.
I cannot say it's wrong to choose a rich boyfriend (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) because ultimately, whichever man you choose at the end of the road, it will be the choice you live with. Different people have different pre-requisite in love... to fill different needs - only you truly know what you truly need and if you think you have make a right choice, then nobody other than yourself could tell you otherwise.
Cheers
(Refering to AA 110806)
i have a similar problem.
The thing is, i've been with him for going 6 years, Since my secondary school days. Now that i'm in final year poly, he's in ite.
i dare not show my mom my boyfriend cause we don't usually communicate. My parents are never at home as they are busy working .
But knowing my parents well, they want me to lead a better life than them. Mom always ask me to find a rich boyfriend. So i don't know how to bring him home.
i love him and i don't mind the differences. its just that, i don't know how to tell my parents.
My course of study is business and in my futre i'm going to take over my family business as for him, he doesn't know where he is heading. I really don't mind being better off than him since we've been together this long. but, i know my parents will mind and, i'm afraid he minds too coz no mater what, guys will always be guys. they have their ego.
loooking at the other thread make me realize that i'm somehow lost, should i be mama girl and leave him for someone better, coz i don't wish to.
or should i go for what i want, be with my heart.
some advice is greatly appreciated.
Compatibility is relative.
If you reckon that compatibility is a perplex issue (in your case... education), chances are, it will bother you because it is relative to how you perceive what's important to you in love.
You will probably see your relationship getting estranged by the invisible overwhelming pressure you think your parents has put on you - it probably wouldn't survive as long as you are stuck in between.
I cannot say it's wrong to choose a rich boyfriend (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) because ultimately, whichever man you choose at the end of the road, it will be the choice you live with. Different people have different pre-requisite in love... to fill different needs - only you truly know what you truly need and if you think you have make a right choice, then nobody other than yourself could tell you otherwise.
Cheers
Friday, August 11, 2006
Aunt Agony 110806
Originally posted by ahkico:
My mum doesn realli agree with mi bein with him..
I"m in poly.. He drop out of ITE.. In other words.. His career won bring him to the high up positions out in the workin world..
2 mi.. I love him with all my heart.. I dun wan think abt all the education status quo.. TRue.. sOmetimes i do mind tis bit.. But i jus shrug it of..
Even though he isn well educated.. But we're able to communicate on the same level.. Wat matters to mi is tat so long we love each other.. It's tis tat counts..
My mum.. Keep naggin whenever i'm out with him.. Told her.. If now i dun go out.. wAt u wan mi to do??? @ tis age.. It's goin out to have fun!!!
She says he's not presentable to bring out.. LOL.. My heart shattered.. She doesn approve of him coz of his job.. He help out in his father's garage.. Changing tyres.. Etc..
My relatives quite belongs to the snoob typo.. I know they will surely jeer & sneer @ mi.. In my heart.. I somehow duno how i am goin face them.. If they ask mi.. Wat is he workin as???
Do i mind? I reali dunno myself.. But i'm prepared to accept all tis from the dae i got tog with him..
R we too clingy to each other?? Aren't datin couple like tat?? We meet up whenever we're free.. Sometimes almost every dae.. My mum will start nagging tat i keep goin out..
Wat could i do or say to make my mum accept him???
Everyone likes ready product - like how good rich this man is because the woman he marries is likely to lead a better life through better financial standing... more enticing to have.
But these are the tangible qualities - something where your parents could see from their angle, but nothing more than that.
How well is he a person; probably only you understood. This is the intangibles that cannot be measure or seen easily through the eyes of others.
And ultimately, you are the one responsibility for the man you choose at the end of the road.
WHETHER love has that power to drive him to strive for a better future, it's still too early to judge. At least your boyfriend WORKS and not slack around while having to rot his life away.
You mum has a negative automatic thought of his educational level; it is up to the both of you to change her biased mindset through deeds. If communication is a problem and you cannot dissuade her from thinking the way she does, then allow time to prove your stand.
Your parents think what's best for you; but they ain't you.
Even if your relationship were to fail and before they go saying 'Ah hah! I told you so...' - your parents should realized that you have grown up and ought to make important decision for your life. Failing your relationship doesn't mean the difference in education level; more likely, it is the same other 'viruses' that killed other relationship/s, which unfortunately strikes yours.
P.S: Learn that love is wholly yours to govern and that others' influence or vicious comments cannot affect your relationship unless you give them permission to do so. You are the security guard of your own relationship - the minute you accept what people think of your relationship, you view your relationship in dissatisfied angles pointed out by those people, although you have no issue with them originally.
Some people are congenitally born with longer hands, shorter legs and whatever.... Regardless, learn contentment. Men who treat their woman like dirt littered the back alley - When you love someone for who he/she is and love will evolve him/her and he/she will improve as your love deepens. If you look at one aspect in a person and chose the highest grade in that aspect, chances are, he/she will sacrifice other aspects of personality in exchange for this particular trait.
Nobody is born perfect. We accept those whom we reckon to be suitable and mould them to perfection... at least in our eyes.
Cheers
My mum doesn realli agree with mi bein with him..
I"m in poly.. He drop out of ITE.. In other words.. His career won bring him to the high up positions out in the workin world..
2 mi.. I love him with all my heart.. I dun wan think abt all the education status quo.. TRue.. sOmetimes i do mind tis bit.. But i jus shrug it of..
Even though he isn well educated.. But we're able to communicate on the same level.. Wat matters to mi is tat so long we love each other.. It's tis tat counts..
My mum.. Keep naggin whenever i'm out with him.. Told her.. If now i dun go out.. wAt u wan mi to do??? @ tis age.. It's goin out to have fun!!!
She says he's not presentable to bring out.. LOL.. My heart shattered.. She doesn approve of him coz of his job.. He help out in his father's garage.. Changing tyres.. Etc..
My relatives quite belongs to the snoob typo.. I know they will surely jeer & sneer @ mi.. In my heart.. I somehow duno how i am goin face them.. If they ask mi.. Wat is he workin as???
Do i mind? I reali dunno myself.. But i'm prepared to accept all tis from the dae i got tog with him..
R we too clingy to each other?? Aren't datin couple like tat?? We meet up whenever we're free.. Sometimes almost every dae.. My mum will start nagging tat i keep goin out..
Wat could i do or say to make my mum accept him???
Everyone likes ready product - like how good rich this man is because the woman he marries is likely to lead a better life through better financial standing... more enticing to have.
But these are the tangible qualities - something where your parents could see from their angle, but nothing more than that.
How well is he a person; probably only you understood. This is the intangibles that cannot be measure or seen easily through the eyes of others.
And ultimately, you are the one responsibility for the man you choose at the end of the road.
WHETHER love has that power to drive him to strive for a better future, it's still too early to judge. At least your boyfriend WORKS and not slack around while having to rot his life away.
You mum has a negative automatic thought of his educational level; it is up to the both of you to change her biased mindset through deeds. If communication is a problem and you cannot dissuade her from thinking the way she does, then allow time to prove your stand.
Your parents think what's best for you; but they ain't you.
Even if your relationship were to fail and before they go saying 'Ah hah! I told you so...' - your parents should realized that you have grown up and ought to make important decision for your life. Failing your relationship doesn't mean the difference in education level; more likely, it is the same other 'viruses' that killed other relationship/s, which unfortunately strikes yours.
P.S: Learn that love is wholly yours to govern and that others' influence or vicious comments cannot affect your relationship unless you give them permission to do so. You are the security guard of your own relationship - the minute you accept what people think of your relationship, you view your relationship in dissatisfied angles pointed out by those people, although you have no issue with them originally.
Some people are congenitally born with longer hands, shorter legs and whatever.... Regardless, learn contentment. Men who treat their woman like dirt littered the back alley - When you love someone for who he/she is and love will evolve him/her and he/she will improve as your love deepens. If you look at one aspect in a person and chose the highest grade in that aspect, chances are, he/she will sacrifice other aspects of personality in exchange for this particular trait.
Nobody is born perfect. We accept those whom we reckon to be suitable and mould them to perfection... at least in our eyes.
Cheers
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
NDP
Today is National Day and once again, I have to remind everyone that SINGAPORE is indeed bigger than PAP (Singapore > PAP). We have what we have now because of EVERYBODY, not just mere effort of our seemingly clean government.
Using 9 Aug 1965 0000 hrs as details, I am just checking, using my limited knowledge in Mundane Astrology. (Interestingly, Lion represented our National Identity, which coincide with the Sign of Leo).
According to today's Transit; transition Saturn conjunct Sun in 4th house in Sign of Leo and progressed Saturn opposed radical Uranus in 5th house. The sunny lion Singapore (likely represented by PM L.S.L) would face situations that would mellow its proud ego. [This is probably represented by the huge lost of votes in AMK as WP's younger, untested team score an incredible result when it is supposedly a suicide mission. This probably also mean that we shouldn't even be spending mundane purchases like acquiring missile defense (for ego sake) against a non-existence threat, which may spark off an arm race in S.E.A]. Affliction to Uranus 5th house, also suggested a growing outbreak of political tension. Singapore is resisting its inner call for changes and individualism - this would create friction between children of the country and their leaders, whom would be voters in the future.
Country likely to experience economic depression/lost of some sort relating to land, buildings and agriculture. Investment into such areas in Singapore will likely to suffer. Saturn's rigidity and fixedly nature will also generate an aura of fear as the future of Singapore is hit by uncertainty. Progressed MC conjunct Saturn in separating aspect of 1 degree also suggest that the Country's progress of global standing is still pretty stagnant, though getting better. In fact, this will greatly affect the elderly citizen of the nation, with the country's refusal to bow to its pride and extend additional lookout for them [My deduction is with the recent country's 'progress' with the increase cost of living, affecting more to those without income - GST to become 7%? perhaps].
Happy Birthday Singapore.
Cheers
Using 9 Aug 1965 0000 hrs as details, I am just checking, using my limited knowledge in Mundane Astrology. (Interestingly, Lion represented our National Identity, which coincide with the Sign of Leo).
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According to today's Transit; transition Saturn conjunct Sun in 4th house in Sign of Leo and progressed Saturn opposed radical Uranus in 5th house. The sunny lion Singapore (likely represented by PM L.S.L) would face situations that would mellow its proud ego. [This is probably represented by the huge lost of votes in AMK as WP's younger, untested team score an incredible result when it is supposedly a suicide mission. This probably also mean that we shouldn't even be spending mundane purchases like acquiring missile defense (for ego sake) against a non-existence threat, which may spark off an arm race in S.E.A]. Affliction to Uranus 5th house, also suggested a growing outbreak of political tension. Singapore is resisting its inner call for changes and individualism - this would create friction between children of the country and their leaders, whom would be voters in the future.
Country likely to experience economic depression/lost of some sort relating to land, buildings and agriculture. Investment into such areas in Singapore will likely to suffer. Saturn's rigidity and fixedly nature will also generate an aura of fear as the future of Singapore is hit by uncertainty. Progressed MC conjunct Saturn in separating aspect of 1 degree also suggest that the Country's progress of global standing is still pretty stagnant, though getting better. In fact, this will greatly affect the elderly citizen of the nation, with the country's refusal to bow to its pride and extend additional lookout for them [My deduction is with the recent country's 'progress' with the increase cost of living, affecting more to those without income - GST to become 7%? perhaps].
Happy Birthday Singapore.
Cheers
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Aunt Agony 060806
Originally posted by An0nym0us:
It seems to me as though the nicest time during a relationship for the female is only during courtship. After marriage, the man doesn't treat you as nicely anymore and might even look for better options. At least thats what I observed. How true do you think it is? :? and is it the majority of guys nature to be like that?
Sometimes woman thinks that love has vanished.
But chances are it may not be the case; love may have transformed into something else. Like energy, love cannot be destroyed nor created.
In marriage, chances are, the kind of passion and drive to romance a woman in a courtship has transformed into putting food on the table. This is intrinsically the primitive instinct of what a man would do when he has to shoulder additional burden of having a family.
This is primarily love to a man, when marriage is concern, because should one day he 'fails' in his duty - he probably sees that he has failed in his duty as a husband and father.
***
In the Age of Aquarian and in this modern era, woman demands man to communicate in the same emotional wavelength as them, but however metrosexual a man is... a man is still a man. Our psyche and psychological built up is vastly different. Should he consciously 'forgot' to employ the feminine side of his whole, he revert back to himself.
We should never measure love according to the number of roses he got for you in valentine day (or the absence of it). What matters is that he loves you for who you are... is willing to accept your knowing flaws and still choose you.
When a stranger pays you a compliment, it holds greater weight than a compliment from people we know (a.k.a friends and love ones). This is because a stranger doesn't know our vulnerability and how imperfect we are, while the people we know are so emotionally close to us that a compliment from them has this diminished effect because they know us.
Many times, this is how infidelity first strikes - when a stranger focus more on what lovable about ourselves and our love ones are usually more flaw-centric.
Has love gone?
We must understand that in passion, we all love differently. We got to appreciate and acknowledge how our partner express their affection because that is uniquely his/her (that's of course IF it's not afflicted, twisted sort of affection).
Cheers
It seems to me as though the nicest time during a relationship for the female is only during courtship. After marriage, the man doesn't treat you as nicely anymore and might even look for better options. At least thats what I observed. How true do you think it is? :? and is it the majority of guys nature to be like that?
Sometimes woman thinks that love has vanished.
But chances are it may not be the case; love may have transformed into something else. Like energy, love cannot be destroyed nor created.
In marriage, chances are, the kind of passion and drive to romance a woman in a courtship has transformed into putting food on the table. This is intrinsically the primitive instinct of what a man would do when he has to shoulder additional burden of having a family.
This is primarily love to a man, when marriage is concern, because should one day he 'fails' in his duty - he probably sees that he has failed in his duty as a husband and father.
***
In the Age of Aquarian and in this modern era, woman demands man to communicate in the same emotional wavelength as them, but however metrosexual a man is... a man is still a man. Our psyche and psychological built up is vastly different. Should he consciously 'forgot' to employ the feminine side of his whole, he revert back to himself.
We should never measure love according to the number of roses he got for you in valentine day (or the absence of it). What matters is that he loves you for who you are... is willing to accept your knowing flaws and still choose you.
When a stranger pays you a compliment, it holds greater weight than a compliment from people we know (a.k.a friends and love ones). This is because a stranger doesn't know our vulnerability and how imperfect we are, while the people we know are so emotionally close to us that a compliment from them has this diminished effect because they know us.
Many times, this is how infidelity first strikes - when a stranger focus more on what lovable about ourselves and our love ones are usually more flaw-centric.
Has love gone?
We must understand that in passion, we all love differently. We got to appreciate and acknowledge how our partner express their affection because that is uniquely his/her (that's of course IF it's not afflicted, twisted sort of affection).
Cheers
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
The '无事不登三宝殿'
He avoided my SMS; I guess the sum is gone for good.
I think it's disappointing to reckon that I actually went through the miles to help him when I was already having problems with my cash flow back then and when I needed that same help from him now - there wasn't even a fucking respond.
朋友做到这样。。。 干脆不要做了 (Samuel's tone)
Actually it's a small sum; but certainly the amount will help to ease my bills and classes when I am only drawing a fucking $420 from the army and doing a 2WO's Job. And when I minus a hundred buck for insurance, my fucking disposal income is merely a miserable 320.
Seriously, I don't fucking wish to be a debt collector having to chase for my debt when in fact it should be automatic. I don't see the reason why he could club, spend and drown himself with alcohol when he could have the money to repay me, especially when I am having trouble with cashflow.
That was almost one fucking year; he probably thinks that I could probably survive liao.
I think I am too kind to people who doesn't even see the same light as I view their friendship; I guess Mars in Scorpio of 11th house is too benevolent for my liking.
Really quite disappointed by this person... whom I considered as a good friend. *shake head*
Oh well...
I trust wrong people... again. (The pic below is NOT that guy; just to show how good I am to wear 情侣装 with him. Haha!)
P.S: Deeds don't lie; The '无事不登三宝殿' can all go screw themselves from today onwards. (Go to View, Encoding and change to Unicode (UTF-8) to read chinese words)
Cheers
I think it's disappointing to reckon that I actually went through the miles to help him when I was already having problems with my cash flow back then and when I needed that same help from him now - there wasn't even a fucking respond.
朋友做到这样。。。 干脆不要做了 (Samuel's tone)
Actually it's a small sum; but certainly the amount will help to ease my bills and classes when I am only drawing a fucking $420 from the army and doing a 2WO's Job. And when I minus a hundred buck for insurance, my fucking disposal income is merely a miserable 320.
Seriously, I don't fucking wish to be a debt collector having to chase for my debt when in fact it should be automatic. I don't see the reason why he could club, spend and drown himself with alcohol when he could have the money to repay me, especially when I am having trouble with cashflow.
That was almost one fucking year; he probably thinks that I could probably survive liao.
I think I am too kind to people who doesn't even see the same light as I view their friendship; I guess Mars in Scorpio of 11th house is too benevolent for my liking.
Really quite disappointed by this person... whom I considered as a good friend. *shake head*
Oh well...
I trust wrong people... again. (The pic below is NOT that guy; just to show how good I am to wear 情侣装 with him. Haha!)
P.S: Deeds don't lie; The '无事不登三宝殿' can all go screw themselves from today onwards. (Go to View, Encoding and change to Unicode (UTF-8) to read chinese words)
Cheers
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