Originally posted by JasonC:
She was the sister of a friend's friend.
Nearly a year ago, We chanced upon each other by accident and we started keeping in contact via email.
Then there was a slight misunderstanding (she thought i was keen on someone else) and we didn't really talk for six months.
Recently she asked me out for coffee and in the midst of our conversation(s), we cleared up that misunderstanding
Since then we've been in contact almost daily, and we've been going out more frequently (not as frequent as i'd like thou!)
she informs me when she's heading out, lets me know when she's home from a late night out, etc. I'm pleasantly pleased with this; When i was contemplating a job offer that would require me to travel frequently, for a number of years, one of her first reactions was "does that mean i'll only get to see you in a few years' time?
its been two months since we caught up with each other again, and i'm this time, i'm pretty sure she's the one i want in my life;
A few days back, I tried to sound her out, but I had a feeling that she knew what was coming (either that or i was over sensitive) for that meetup was pretty tense.
Things were still the same after that, so i'm pretty glad for that.
Now I've came to know that there's possibly another guy in the picture.
but she wouldn't say much, other than that's a friend (she does have quite a few male friends)
I know i should come clean with how i feel, but is this a good time, or should i observe more?
One thing i noticed, we tend to think too much for the other party, and sometimes, this leads to a lack of action by both parties. this is bad, i know, and i'm working on it.
Can any kind souls please advise?
This is probably similar to a salesman who does his pitching but doesn't know how to close the deal.
Yeah... the price is clear. So is the function, the unique selling point, the need, the desire, the service, the aftersales service, the warranty, the setup, the additional accessory, the colour, the size, the model, the discount, the free premium, the contract period, the number of users.. blar blar blar blar blar.
Sheesh, so how do I get her to close the deal?
Just pass her a pen and sign the acknowledgement. Done.
Albeit you like her customized attention to you, but you still must recall that ultimately, you two are not yet a couple, yet acting, in certain aspects, like one. I reckoned that there is too much of that grey line in which your friendship with her have inevitably transformed into. Informing you when she is going out and coming back is a little too much for just mere friends - but because there is this distinct passiveness in your attitude towards the chase, it's probably just hanging there.
You are probably just maintaining status quo.
I don't understand how competition can change your stand in loving someone. You mean just because someone is probably in the picture and that per se could deter you from advancing?
Observers are only meant for football games - if you have no intend to play the game, then I suggest you could make better use of your time by doing other constructive things - like focusing on your career. Though nobody wants to play a soccer game only to lose, but if you don't start the match, you will never know the outcome.
Be a player, not a punter.
Cheers
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