Saturday, December 27, 2008
Aunt Agony 271208
Originally posted by Joi_lin:
Recently, I feel sad when people questioned me about single status. Asking me why I am single and when I will get married.
Just not too long ago, I bumped into an old neighbour.She is as old as me and to my surprise, she is already a mother of 3 kids. I felt so ashamed of myself.So what I am more educated than her ? So what I am slimmer than her?
Whenever there are match making subject in the news, I will cringe. Some relatives even joke to sign me up. My parents always drop big hint that so and so 's daughter got married already. I feel upset and I am hitting 30 soon. It seems like a deadline for women.
Furthermore, people do not understand why I do not have a boyfriend. I also do not understand why they do not understand.
I really do not want to end up desperate one day.
As much as we all believe that Love must indeed come naturally, our 'Self' component must provide the fertile ground for such natural occurrence to manifest into reality. This 'Self' component, namely our personality and what steps we take to render ourselves more socially desirable, not merely in the physical sense, but also as a person emotionally, psychologically and spiritually positive.
The theory of probability is self explanatory: if you want to find someone suitable, you got to get out of your house and start meeting people. When your social network improves, the chance for you to find someone suitable gets better, as compared to solitary activities that could only drive some meager mileage for you in aspects of Love.
If you reckon that certain channels are not suitable, it's perfectly ok. Learn to develop interest and expand your social network through the interest you invest yourself with. Also, do not adopt self-defeating mindset because it's very much a vicious cycle - as much as you are pressured socially to be attached, this beget from a negative source: namely pressure. Hence, your attitude towards knowing someone is always about accessing someone if he/she is suitable for you. Then if things isn't what you reckon it to be, you get dejected, you become more withdrawn and whole cycle repeats itself
Here's a truth: the more negative a person is, the more likely he/she will attract negative mate.
Your fear produces the negative aura - hence, your disappointment in men that you met online are merely corroboration of reality - through the synergy of both your thoughts and feelings - manifest as latent effect.
As much as my discipline in my astrology has taught me, I disagree with the fact that some people are destined to be alone. The challenge is not merely to analysis a person and telling them about how doom they are, but the task is to empower one to take corrective steps to overcome their issues. And to change situations, one must have that self awareness to understand the root of problem and for cases like yours, I can tell you, it's very much due to the inability to recognize our own inadequacy and learning to get out of our comfort zone after recognition.
Some people decides that Love will come naturally, say, after school days. But I can tell you from a sociological perspective, with the elimination of a socializing agent, such as a school compound, your social circle should get smaller unless steps are taken to ensure that it doesn't. And again with the law of probability, your chances, naturally, get worst because, like you have found out, people are either attached/married or their psychographic is entirely off the chart.
I say, invest more time in yourself and simultaneously develop your social circle. And learn to eliminate guilt from your heart - not being attached does NOT suggest that something is wrong with you. It simply means that you have to develop yourself more in a wholesome sense, so that the attraction can take place when you have work on that 'Self' component.
Cheers
Recently, I feel sad when people questioned me about single status. Asking me why I am single and when I will get married.
Just not too long ago, I bumped into an old neighbour.She is as old as me and to my surprise, she is already a mother of 3 kids. I felt so ashamed of myself.So what I am more educated than her ? So what I am slimmer than her?
Whenever there are match making subject in the news, I will cringe. Some relatives even joke to sign me up. My parents always drop big hint that so and so 's daughter got married already. I feel upset and I am hitting 30 soon. It seems like a deadline for women.
Furthermore, people do not understand why I do not have a boyfriend. I also do not understand why they do not understand.
I really do not want to end up desperate one day.
As much as we all believe that Love must indeed come naturally, our 'Self' component must provide the fertile ground for such natural occurrence to manifest into reality. This 'Self' component, namely our personality and what steps we take to render ourselves more socially desirable, not merely in the physical sense, but also as a person emotionally, psychologically and spiritually positive.
The theory of probability is self explanatory: if you want to find someone suitable, you got to get out of your house and start meeting people. When your social network improves, the chance for you to find someone suitable gets better, as compared to solitary activities that could only drive some meager mileage for you in aspects of Love.
If you reckon that certain channels are not suitable, it's perfectly ok. Learn to develop interest and expand your social network through the interest you invest yourself with. Also, do not adopt self-defeating mindset because it's very much a vicious cycle - as much as you are pressured socially to be attached, this beget from a negative source: namely pressure. Hence, your attitude towards knowing someone is always about accessing someone if he/she is suitable for you. Then if things isn't what you reckon it to be, you get dejected, you become more withdrawn and whole cycle repeats itself
Here's a truth: the more negative a person is, the more likely he/she will attract negative mate.
Your fear produces the negative aura - hence, your disappointment in men that you met online are merely corroboration of reality - through the synergy of both your thoughts and feelings - manifest as latent effect.
As much as my discipline in my astrology has taught me, I disagree with the fact that some people are destined to be alone. The challenge is not merely to analysis a person and telling them about how doom they are, but the task is to empower one to take corrective steps to overcome their issues. And to change situations, one must have that self awareness to understand the root of problem and for cases like yours, I can tell you, it's very much due to the inability to recognize our own inadequacy and learning to get out of our comfort zone after recognition.
Some people decides that Love will come naturally, say, after school days. But I can tell you from a sociological perspective, with the elimination of a socializing agent, such as a school compound, your social circle should get smaller unless steps are taken to ensure that it doesn't. And again with the law of probability, your chances, naturally, get worst because, like you have found out, people are either attached/married or their psychographic is entirely off the chart.
I say, invest more time in yourself and simultaneously develop your social circle. And learn to eliminate guilt from your heart - not being attached does NOT suggest that something is wrong with you. It simply means that you have to develop yourself more in a wholesome sense, so that the attraction can take place when you have work on that 'Self' component.
Cheers
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Aunt Agony 171208
Originally posted by woahaha:
i got a serious topic here...and i need comments, and suggestions >.<
so i was with this guy for 2.5 years when we broke up. we quarreled a lot then and after one major quarrel, we eventually broke up. it was an unpleasant break up and we didnt remain in contact after that at all.
10 months after we broke up, he contacted me again. we talked for awhile and eventually patched after realising that we were still very much in love with each other.
although it seemed awkward at the beginning, we soon got over it. during this period of time, i would say that it was the happiest period of my life. it seemed to me that both of us have grown up and handle things more maturely now. i would say we have become more understanding towards each other's feelings. this was one problem we used to have in the past.
we lasted for another 5 months together without any major quarrels. we were like any other happy couple out there, i was happy, i knew he was too. he once mentioned that he feels we are very stable now and i thought so too, until he left me again.
the thing is, he usually doesnt tell me what he is not happy with me. and out of the blue, he mentioned a break up telling me that he "cannot stand a lot of stuffs".
all i know is that it is accumulated anger all let out at once.
what irks me a lot is, that i dont even know whats the reason why we broke up.
why cant he tell me what is it that he is not happy with? why does he tell his friend but not me?
why does he like to accumulate anger in him and not tell me about it and choose to left it unsolved by leaving me at the end?
we met up today, and i tried to talk to him. he seems to still be angry over some hurtful stuffs i said last week (even though i said sorry) and was still persistent with his decision of a break up. he was rushing off to somewhere else so i didnt really have the chance to persuade him any further.
should i wait for a while before i talk to him again?
or should i just move on without this guy in my life?
Often, people conclude that the reason to patch is because 'they still love each other', but the conundrum is actually having to differentiate habitual reasoning against that of love. And I can tell you that the feeling derived from the latter can be equally formidable. Unless one possesses incredibly heightened self awareness, we are likely to be suck into a previous misery with excuses provided as above.
Your man displayed periodically disruptive burst-fire in his relationship - suggesting strong Uranus influence. Also, his behavioral stance towards his relationship reeked streaks of avoidance-styled personality and this creates a fertile ground to breed enmity and contention because the day when he finds you is the day of judgement.
For Love, like dough, needs to remake and remodel constantly, to settle into a good shape - a relationship devoid of proper communication stays static and is vulnerable to destruction because it lose the elasticity to survive.
Your man is probably subjected, typically, to the belief that 'you ought to know what is wrong, yet you don't work towards changing it'. This is probably a classic narcissistic perception that exist only in the psychological framework of the individual and this have ruined even the best of relationships.
It's almost like you walking around with your friends, doing some xmas shopping, while you are about to perish (literally) from hunger. Even as you look listless and weary, they continued their journey. Eventually, you suffered this acute gastric pain and blew up, blaming them for causing you this plight.
So does the fault lies with the person or his/her friends?
Neither.
Because the root of problem is about non-communication.
Your man probably has another set of problem - his inability to communicate kinda fueled his tendency to resort to initiating breakup to ease his emotional tension. He might probably regret and comes back (however sincere) to sell you the 'belief' stated in my first paragraph. But seriously, that's not the point because the cyclical routine of such meaningless 'break-patch' pattern will shrink and become shorter to achieve one full circle, with every break-up experience.
Life is finite - seriously, you don't have to stop your pace completely just because you reckon that you might want to give him another chance. It is possible to saunter forward, while deciding if you were to place another blind bet on leading a paranoid relationship that could, any time, transformed itself into a sudden episode of departure, without adequate reasoning. If you could still afford to weather such possible cataclysm, then he definitely still has a fighting chance in your heart.
P.S: Love is very much 51% decision and 49% superfluous factors.
Cheers
i got a serious topic here...and i need comments, and suggestions >.<
so i was with this guy for 2.5 years when we broke up. we quarreled a lot then and after one major quarrel, we eventually broke up. it was an unpleasant break up and we didnt remain in contact after that at all.
10 months after we broke up, he contacted me again. we talked for awhile and eventually patched after realising that we were still very much in love with each other.
although it seemed awkward at the beginning, we soon got over it. during this period of time, i would say that it was the happiest period of my life. it seemed to me that both of us have grown up and handle things more maturely now. i would say we have become more understanding towards each other's feelings. this was one problem we used to have in the past.
we lasted for another 5 months together without any major quarrels. we were like any other happy couple out there, i was happy, i knew he was too. he once mentioned that he feels we are very stable now and i thought so too, until he left me again.
the thing is, he usually doesnt tell me what he is not happy with me. and out of the blue, he mentioned a break up telling me that he "cannot stand a lot of stuffs".
all i know is that it is accumulated anger all let out at once.
what irks me a lot is, that i dont even know whats the reason why we broke up.
why cant he tell me what is it that he is not happy with? why does he tell his friend but not me?
why does he like to accumulate anger in him and not tell me about it and choose to left it unsolved by leaving me at the end?
we met up today, and i tried to talk to him. he seems to still be angry over some hurtful stuffs i said last week (even though i said sorry) and was still persistent with his decision of a break up. he was rushing off to somewhere else so i didnt really have the chance to persuade him any further.
should i wait for a while before i talk to him again?
or should i just move on without this guy in my life?
Often, people conclude that the reason to patch is because 'they still love each other', but the conundrum is actually having to differentiate habitual reasoning against that of love. And I can tell you that the feeling derived from the latter can be equally formidable. Unless one possesses incredibly heightened self awareness, we are likely to be suck into a previous misery with excuses provided as above.
Your man displayed periodically disruptive burst-fire in his relationship - suggesting strong Uranus influence. Also, his behavioral stance towards his relationship reeked streaks of avoidance-styled personality and this creates a fertile ground to breed enmity and contention because the day when he finds you is the day of judgement.
For Love, like dough, needs to remake and remodel constantly, to settle into a good shape - a relationship devoid of proper communication stays static and is vulnerable to destruction because it lose the elasticity to survive.
Your man is probably subjected, typically, to the belief that 'you ought to know what is wrong, yet you don't work towards changing it'. This is probably a classic narcissistic perception that exist only in the psychological framework of the individual and this have ruined even the best of relationships.
It's almost like you walking around with your friends, doing some xmas shopping, while you are about to perish (literally) from hunger. Even as you look listless and weary, they continued their journey. Eventually, you suffered this acute gastric pain and blew up, blaming them for causing you this plight.
So does the fault lies with the person or his/her friends?
Neither.
Because the root of problem is about non-communication.
Your man probably has another set of problem - his inability to communicate kinda fueled his tendency to resort to initiating breakup to ease his emotional tension. He might probably regret and comes back (however sincere) to sell you the 'belief' stated in my first paragraph. But seriously, that's not the point because the cyclical routine of such meaningless 'break-patch' pattern will shrink and become shorter to achieve one full circle, with every break-up experience.
Life is finite - seriously, you don't have to stop your pace completely just because you reckon that you might want to give him another chance. It is possible to saunter forward, while deciding if you were to place another blind bet on leading a paranoid relationship that could, any time, transformed itself into a sudden episode of departure, without adequate reasoning. If you could still afford to weather such possible cataclysm, then he definitely still has a fighting chance in your heart.
P.S: Love is very much 51% decision and 49% superfluous factors.
Cheers
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Aunt Agony 071208
Originally posted by annoy-you-must:
I first met, and fell attracted to her 5 years ago, when I was in secondary two.
We were just schoolmates. We know each other, but never actually talked. Nevertheless, her features and personality strike me as really attractive.
However, as another self-pitying boy with inferior complex and no guts to speak of at that time, I did not approach her, get to be her friend and know her better.
(I dared to share my feelings with few people in fear that the wrong words may spread around in school. So I wrote down my feelings on various online forums, including sgforums. What some people told me was that I was too young to know what love is, that it's just puppy love and I'll forget her soon. That I should concentrate on my studies
I've not forgotten her. And I did reasonably well for my studies despite thinking of her.)
And so, I tormented myself emotionally and mentally for two years before both of us graduated from secondary school. She went to poly and got a boyfriend soon afterwards. I went to JC.
All these whiles, I've not met a single girl who is able to invoke the same feelings within me. I was not attracted to anyone else as much as I was attracted to her. She was the only one, and she did not even do anything.
Since I don't really know her, she is probably not what I thought of her to be in the first place. But I can't stop thinking about her anyway.
Even though we became total strangers, even though it's even more impossible now, I still think of her from time to time. Not as much as I was as an emo kid in secondary school of course. But I still think of her and wonder how she is doing, if she is happy, and if the present would be different had I had the courage back then to even take the first step approach her.
A few months back, I ceased being friends with her on Friendster. I don't know if she deleted me or it's a problem with Friendster. I know Friendster recently had some problem with some account's friends, some people's friends count dropped drastically.
But that problem is now solved. Most account's friends count are back to normal. And I'm still not friend with her and can't view her friendster profile. How can I help but not wonder anything?
You may think I'm pervertic, a coward or just plain childish. I'm actually stalking someone on friendster without daring to take real physical action. Perhaps I am. But my social skills is not that good in the first place, how can I possibly approach a total stranger?
It seems like she has broken up with her boyfriend recently. I inferred that. So it kind of made me think of her all over again, and wonder how she is doing now, if she is happy or what.
After saying (or typing) all these, I rekon my obsession sounds pervertic or psychotic.
There's no particular question I want to ask or answers that I want over here. Just felt an urge to spill out my feelings somewhere.
You might think that you love her (since the feelings pretty much withstand a tremendous amount of time), but I am going give you my two cents which might let you consider otherwise.
***
If your feelings, X, fails to initiate an action, then X is mere fantasy. If X exist in fantasy, hence, X exist only in potentiality and not in actuality. Therefore, X cannot be considered as Love for Love must first exist in actuality and must be mutual (人爱者有理，爱人者有勇).
I will give you a simple philosophical analogy:
Suppose we are hungry and we want to abate our hunger, our natural instinct will prompt us to eat. The existence of food (Love) and the act of consumption (Initiation of Love) must occur simultaneously before our hunger pangs will vanish and achieve satisfaction (Relationship). The entities by itself are meaningless unless they conjuct with one another and if we Love without acting, it's akin to having food without consuming - the hunger persist.
We harbor fantasy for all sorts of things, people and dimensions. In fact, we might even lose track of our reality, especially when we abdicate our self awareness over such illusion. It's common for people who indulge in fantasy because we are unwilling to shatter this image by putting dreams into reality. We prefer to give beautiful descriptions about our worship with imaginary and wordings - many times, so perfect and immaculate that we know at the back of our mind if we were engage this extraordinary person in reality, we will gradually be forced to abandon our fantasy because nobody can be as perfect, other than the figure in our mental construct.
The fantasy that we have grown to recognize and feel so intense for has completely supercede even the person per se. This ironic phenomenon is supported by a macabre veil of deep-rooted fear of rejection, overwhelming passiveness and gnawing narcissism.
The signs are blatant: I encode in CloUdiSm as people inflicted with 'Neptune's deranged effect', doing a lot of things that appeared to be significant, but often under anonymous concealment. With proliferation of blogs and social networking sites, it's effortless for such surreptitious behavior in enabling one to be updated with the life of another, without actually having to interact with the person.
Think about it, as much as you have deemed this person to be significant over a vast period of five years, she probably doesn't even know about your existence. You probably belong to the same rank as the stranger who brushed passed our shoulders everyday when we walk across the street - the significance is almost negligible.
The fact that this fantasy persisted because you continuously breathe life into it. Your refusal to discard the 'life machine' supporting this one-sided affair compromise your entire Love life as a whole. As such, it's likely that you have never been in a relationship before (a proper one) and because it's poignant to reckon that we are almost 'a clean sheet' in Love (CloUdiSm termed it as 'The Void' under the 'Law of Clean Sheet'), the fantasy flourished as it merely take the space of the void that nothing is residing currently.
You might think that nobody can invoke the kind of feelings, but I can tell you, a lot of that rationale comes from the fact that you are going around the market, asking for the duplication of your ideal product and as you are so focused to find this ideal product, everything else (which could be possible) are dismissed without adequate understanding. Hence without adequate understanding, it's no wonder the nurture and developmental aspect of Love never manifest in your life.
Your time is better off getting to know new people or enhancing your socializing skills and opportunity to allow you to do just that. That strategy would pay off much better than lurking online and revelling in your narcissistic affection for her.
Cheers
I first met, and fell attracted to her 5 years ago, when I was in secondary two.
We were just schoolmates. We know each other, but never actually talked. Nevertheless, her features and personality strike me as really attractive.
However, as another self-pitying boy with inferior complex and no guts to speak of at that time, I did not approach her, get to be her friend and know her better.
(I dared to share my feelings with few people in fear that the wrong words may spread around in school. So I wrote down my feelings on various online forums, including sgforums. What some people told me was that I was too young to know what love is, that it's just puppy love and I'll forget her soon. That I should concentrate on my studies
I've not forgotten her. And I did reasonably well for my studies despite thinking of her.)
And so, I tormented myself emotionally and mentally for two years before both of us graduated from secondary school. She went to poly and got a boyfriend soon afterwards. I went to JC.
All these whiles, I've not met a single girl who is able to invoke the same feelings within me. I was not attracted to anyone else as much as I was attracted to her. She was the only one, and she did not even do anything.
Since I don't really know her, she is probably not what I thought of her to be in the first place. But I can't stop thinking about her anyway.
Even though we became total strangers, even though it's even more impossible now, I still think of her from time to time. Not as much as I was as an emo kid in secondary school of course. But I still think of her and wonder how she is doing, if she is happy, and if the present would be different had I had the courage back then to even take the first step approach her.
A few months back, I ceased being friends with her on Friendster. I don't know if she deleted me or it's a problem with Friendster. I know Friendster recently had some problem with some account's friends, some people's friends count dropped drastically.
But that problem is now solved. Most account's friends count are back to normal. And I'm still not friend with her and can't view her friendster profile. How can I help but not wonder anything?
You may think I'm pervertic, a coward or just plain childish. I'm actually stalking someone on friendster without daring to take real physical action. Perhaps I am. But my social skills is not that good in the first place, how can I possibly approach a total stranger?
It seems like she has broken up with her boyfriend recently. I inferred that. So it kind of made me think of her all over again, and wonder how she is doing now, if she is happy or what.
After saying (or typing) all these, I rekon my obsession sounds pervertic or psychotic.
There's no particular question I want to ask or answers that I want over here. Just felt an urge to spill out my feelings somewhere.
You might think that you love her (since the feelings pretty much withstand a tremendous amount of time), but I am going give you my two cents which might let you consider otherwise.
***
If your feelings, X, fails to initiate an action, then X is mere fantasy. If X exist in fantasy, hence, X exist only in potentiality and not in actuality. Therefore, X cannot be considered as Love for Love must first exist in actuality and must be mutual (人爱者有理，爱人者有勇).
I will give you a simple philosophical analogy:
Suppose we are hungry and we want to abate our hunger, our natural instinct will prompt us to eat. The existence of food (Love) and the act of consumption (Initiation of Love) must occur simultaneously before our hunger pangs will vanish and achieve satisfaction (Relationship). The entities by itself are meaningless unless they conjuct with one another and if we Love without acting, it's akin to having food without consuming - the hunger persist.
We harbor fantasy for all sorts of things, people and dimensions. In fact, we might even lose track of our reality, especially when we abdicate our self awareness over such illusion. It's common for people who indulge in fantasy because we are unwilling to shatter this image by putting dreams into reality. We prefer to give beautiful descriptions about our worship with imaginary and wordings - many times, so perfect and immaculate that we know at the back of our mind if we were engage this extraordinary person in reality, we will gradually be forced to abandon our fantasy because nobody can be as perfect, other than the figure in our mental construct.
The fantasy that we have grown to recognize and feel so intense for has completely supercede even the person per se. This ironic phenomenon is supported by a macabre veil of deep-rooted fear of rejection, overwhelming passiveness and gnawing narcissism.
The signs are blatant: I encode in CloUdiSm as people inflicted with 'Neptune's deranged effect', doing a lot of things that appeared to be significant, but often under anonymous concealment. With proliferation of blogs and social networking sites, it's effortless for such surreptitious behavior in enabling one to be updated with the life of another, without actually having to interact with the person.
Think about it, as much as you have deemed this person to be significant over a vast period of five years, she probably doesn't even know about your existence. You probably belong to the same rank as the stranger who brushed passed our shoulders everyday when we walk across the street - the significance is almost negligible.
The fact that this fantasy persisted because you continuously breathe life into it. Your refusal to discard the 'life machine' supporting this one-sided affair compromise your entire Love life as a whole. As such, it's likely that you have never been in a relationship before (a proper one) and because it's poignant to reckon that we are almost 'a clean sheet' in Love (CloUdiSm termed it as 'The Void' under the 'Law of Clean Sheet'), the fantasy flourished as it merely take the space of the void that nothing is residing currently.
You might think that nobody can invoke the kind of feelings, but I can tell you, a lot of that rationale comes from the fact that you are going around the market, asking for the duplication of your ideal product and as you are so focused to find this ideal product, everything else (which could be possible) are dismissed without adequate understanding. Hence without adequate understanding, it's no wonder the nurture and developmental aspect of Love never manifest in your life.
Your time is better off getting to know new people or enhancing your socializing skills and opportunity to allow you to do just that. That strategy would pay off much better than lurking online and revelling in your narcissistic affection for her.
Cheers
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Aunt Agony 061208
Originally posted by Libraguy78:
i was involved with a girl who has a bf for 8 yrs. we were quite intimate for about 2 months ++ she said she loves me alot and feels very hard to breakup with her bf, as her bf is treating her very nice. she finds no reason to break up with him and yet due to family and friend's obligations, she couldn't break up with him. At certain time, she said she really would wanna consider me, but she felt more practical with him.
They are suppose to get married in 1 yr time. I felt really bad and realized this finally after a big battle of myself, and sort of ended this "grey" relationship with her. She was quite sad about it either. For 3 days I resist from talking and communicating with her in anyways but in the end she wrote me a letter. Should I read it? I had already missing her badly but I know I've got to move on. So I am not sure if I should read the letter? My friends adviced me not to read as it will not do me any good during this healing period.
Would like to know if anyone has any comments on what will the contents be? Will it do me more harm to read it? Or should I give each other another chance?
There are times when a relationship running on seemingly endless marathon will find fatigue sinking in and start questioning its very existence. We all need reasons to function, regardless of how absurd the explaination might be.There are a couple of possibilities for the advert of such phenomenon. For some might think that if fate doesn't allow you both to be together, why even allow you two to meet in the first place?
Your sub-rosa relationship is a litmus test for her to examine if this man, she is currently dating, is really the one for her. As much as you have enjoys her physical (which includes sexual affairs, if any) and emotional presence, this episode is but circumstances to understand the competitive landscape. By rational thinking, most people slipped back to their comfort zone because if she has chosen you, it's entirely a leap of faith. Blind faith.
Freedom? Yes. But you are an untested ground.
Furthermore, she also puts herself at risk of being negatively branded socially (disloyalty). This creates a situation where the risk is far too great and the returns are perceived as low. As we grow older, we become more adverse to risk because the fear of falling will overshadow the need to succeed and her situation is as such.
A relationship, at best, is merely an imaginary structure that held itself by substances we coined as Love. However, few relationships are running entirely on this fuel alone. The less concrete the identity of the relationship, the less stable the foundation. In fact, we are into a relationship for variety of reasons and as you have learned, she remains with him because of security - a proven track record. Hence, dating you effectively reinforced the identity of her own relationship and thus, you are unfortunately discarded once her conclusion is finalized.
The farewell letter might symbolize the end of this sub-rosa relationship, but more importantly, it suggested that she has 'graduated from this short course' and you are no longer needed, in any ways, to provide growth. The learning has ended because she has gain enlightenment by taking actions toward a given direction.
P.S: In Love, we have a choice to play between the main cast or the side cast. In your case, you opt for the latter. Perhaps in time to come, you might have the wisdom to begin your role as the former.
Problem doesn't lie with the people we meet, it rest with the choice we make... from the people we meet.
Cheers
i was involved with a girl who has a bf for 8 yrs. we were quite intimate for about 2 months ++ she said she loves me alot and feels very hard to breakup with her bf, as her bf is treating her very nice. she finds no reason to break up with him and yet due to family and friend's obligations, she couldn't break up with him. At certain time, she said she really would wanna consider me, but she felt more practical with him.
They are suppose to get married in 1 yr time. I felt really bad and realized this finally after a big battle of myself, and sort of ended this "grey" relationship with her. She was quite sad about it either. For 3 days I resist from talking and communicating with her in anyways but in the end she wrote me a letter. Should I read it? I had already missing her badly but I know I've got to move on. So I am not sure if I should read the letter? My friends adviced me not to read as it will not do me any good during this healing period.
Would like to know if anyone has any comments on what will the contents be? Will it do me more harm to read it? Or should I give each other another chance?
There are times when a relationship running on seemingly endless marathon will find fatigue sinking in and start questioning its very existence. We all need reasons to function, regardless of how absurd the explaination might be.There are a couple of possibilities for the advert of such phenomenon. For some might think that if fate doesn't allow you both to be together, why even allow you two to meet in the first place?
Your sub-rosa relationship is a litmus test for her to examine if this man, she is currently dating, is really the one for her. As much as you have enjoys her physical (which includes sexual affairs, if any) and emotional presence, this episode is but circumstances to understand the competitive landscape. By rational thinking, most people slipped back to their comfort zone because if she has chosen you, it's entirely a leap of faith. Blind faith.
Freedom? Yes. But you are an untested ground.
Furthermore, she also puts herself at risk of being negatively branded socially (disloyalty). This creates a situation where the risk is far too great and the returns are perceived as low. As we grow older, we become more adverse to risk because the fear of falling will overshadow the need to succeed and her situation is as such.
A relationship, at best, is merely an imaginary structure that held itself by substances we coined as Love. However, few relationships are running entirely on this fuel alone. The less concrete the identity of the relationship, the less stable the foundation. In fact, we are into a relationship for variety of reasons and as you have learned, she remains with him because of security - a proven track record. Hence, dating you effectively reinforced the identity of her own relationship and thus, you are unfortunately discarded once her conclusion is finalized.
The farewell letter might symbolize the end of this sub-rosa relationship, but more importantly, it suggested that she has 'graduated from this short course' and you are no longer needed, in any ways, to provide growth. The learning has ended because she has gain enlightenment by taking actions toward a given direction.
P.S: In Love, we have a choice to play between the main cast or the side cast. In your case, you opt for the latter. Perhaps in time to come, you might have the wisdom to begin your role as the former.
Problem doesn't lie with the people we meet, it rest with the choice we make... from the people we meet.
Cheers
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Law of Cause and Effect
This is the classic law caught on photos: when you pose and snap picture of people sleeping - do anticipate possible reversal in the future. Heh!
P.S: But don't worry, I still love you all culprits (Ben, Xin & Mel) ^^
Aunt Agony 231108
Originally posted by Galle77:
Sometime i still find myself missing him
Sometime i find myself hating him.
It has been two years since our break-up. I can't really forget what had happened in our relationships. The betrayal, his nasty words and his stupid attitude that had really hurt me over and over again without him really knowing there. I guess i ask for it. I should have just give myself a clear and cut break once and for all.
Sometime i still miss him. I miss myself loving him and his presence. I still have there feeling for him but i know we can never be together.
I still feel abit hard over the relationship. How can i let go of him completely with a smile and a laugh ?
Perhaps you should seek permission to forgive yourself first? Your inability to carry on life normally signifies an unclosed chapter in your life, in which the door got stuck and refuse to shut.
Before you declare that you require a 'clean-clear-cut-break' to truly move on: my question is why allow him (someone whom you probably deemed as a jerk) to have the control of exit in this chapter of your life? Why allow someone to manipulate your misery, especially since he would likely to be out enjoying himself while you are foolishly stuck at this junction, thinking about trying to resolve some self-generated dead-knot?
The decision to move on must come from your individual conviction and resolution. Nevermind if he didn't provide the answer you seek - the problem is about you making decision for yourself to seek the happiness you desire. And this desire is about the freedom to release yourself from the bondage of your previous relationship.
Learn acceptance.
From there, you will gradually understand that acceptance comes from tranquil via the heart and the only voice you need to listen is nobody but yourself.
Cheers
Sometime i still find myself missing him
Sometime i find myself hating him.
It has been two years since our break-up. I can't really forget what had happened in our relationships. The betrayal, his nasty words and his stupid attitude that had really hurt me over and over again without him really knowing there. I guess i ask for it. I should have just give myself a clear and cut break once and for all.
Sometime i still miss him. I miss myself loving him and his presence. I still have there feeling for him but i know we can never be together.
I still feel abit hard over the relationship. How can i let go of him completely with a smile and a laugh ?
Perhaps you should seek permission to forgive yourself first? Your inability to carry on life normally signifies an unclosed chapter in your life, in which the door got stuck and refuse to shut.
Before you declare that you require a 'clean-clear-cut-break' to truly move on: my question is why allow him (someone whom you probably deemed as a jerk) to have the control of exit in this chapter of your life? Why allow someone to manipulate your misery, especially since he would likely to be out enjoying himself while you are foolishly stuck at this junction, thinking about trying to resolve some self-generated dead-knot?
The decision to move on must come from your individual conviction and resolution. Nevermind if he didn't provide the answer you seek - the problem is about you making decision for yourself to seek the happiness you desire. And this desire is about the freedom to release yourself from the bondage of your previous relationship.
Learn acceptance.
From there, you will gradually understand that acceptance comes from tranquil via the heart and the only voice you need to listen is nobody but yourself.
Cheers
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Aunt Agony 221108
Originally posted by SV_190:
I have a stable girl friend for nearly two years , recently a girl who is younger than me appeared in my world ( her attiude and way she speak ) really assamble to my ex.
I started to feel like chatting with her so i tried to get to know her more , my friend gave me her contacts , she seem friendly and I feel comfortable chatting with her at times.
I tried to forget her but she kept appearing in my mind.
The stark resemblance does not signify anything - it is your attitude and perception towards such visual imaginary that seemed to suggest your karmic bond with this person. Such phenomenon is likely generated because of our irrevocable actions in the past that are generally beyond our scope of control. And because we can't turn back time to alter our regretful past, our present and future remained in status quo based on our earlier decision via freewill.
Albeit the law of causality might be rigid, but our minds and heart isn't. Hence, phenomenon of resemblance resulted in an implicit behavior/mindset that served under the theory of 'Time Machine' (CloUdiSm). Because in the realm where 'Love is blind', similarity will naturally (and usually automatically) perceived from the source where it first began and the seeming linkage is establish, although it pretty much illusional.
I will illustrate a simple example:
There are times when we felt that we made mistakes and regret in life, with regards to our previous relationship. Equally often, it might not be mistakes - perhaps we felt that we could 'do more' (whatever 'more' meant to you philosophically). And because the manifestation has already occur and we are unable to undo our circumstances, we shoulder certain unconscious anguish or bitterness that carries in our soul.
Such suppression are dormant and only brought into surface when the concept of time triggers a astrological/karmic pattern to bring forth such situation once again.
Then you might question - why such a phenomenon?
There are two likely reasons:
I) It served to test the foundation of your relationship. Those who are stuck in the misery of their past will often create the path of destruction for their relationship of the future.
II) The absence of graduation in prior cosmic lessons resulted in reiteration of the same chapter once again. What we cannot master, we learn again.
I suggest instead of first leading yourself into the direction of asking 'Should i just forget her quickly' - I reckon you should reframe your question and direct the question inwardly.
'What does this mean to me and my development in Love?'
You might want to understand if there's an action/s you wish to compensate for your previous failed relationship and unconsciously directing this effort towards this 'proxy'?
Also the identity of your relationship is being questioned as well.
'What does it means for your relationship and your gf?' Namely, is your current gf lesser in any aspect than a figure of the past?
Only with careful examination of yourself, would you be able to have the clarity to decide your course of action with wisdom.
Cheers
I have a stable girl friend for nearly two years , recently a girl who is younger than me appeared in my world ( her attiude and way she speak ) really assamble to my ex.
I started to feel like chatting with her so i tried to get to know her more , my friend gave me her contacts , she seem friendly and I feel comfortable chatting with her at times.
I tried to forget her but she kept appearing in my mind.
The stark resemblance does not signify anything - it is your attitude and perception towards such visual imaginary that seemed to suggest your karmic bond with this person. Such phenomenon is likely generated because of our irrevocable actions in the past that are generally beyond our scope of control. And because we can't turn back time to alter our regretful past, our present and future remained in status quo based on our earlier decision via freewill.
Albeit the law of causality might be rigid, but our minds and heart isn't. Hence, phenomenon of resemblance resulted in an implicit behavior/mindset that served under the theory of 'Time Machine' (CloUdiSm). Because in the realm where 'Love is blind', similarity will naturally (and usually automatically) perceived from the source where it first began and the seeming linkage is establish, although it pretty much illusional.
I will illustrate a simple example:
There are times when we felt that we made mistakes and regret in life, with regards to our previous relationship. Equally often, it might not be mistakes - perhaps we felt that we could 'do more' (whatever 'more' meant to you philosophically). And because the manifestation has already occur and we are unable to undo our circumstances, we shoulder certain unconscious anguish or bitterness that carries in our soul.
Such suppression are dormant and only brought into surface when the concept of time triggers a astrological/karmic pattern to bring forth such situation once again.
Then you might question - why such a phenomenon?
There are two likely reasons:
I) It served to test the foundation of your relationship. Those who are stuck in the misery of their past will often create the path of destruction for their relationship of the future.
II) The absence of graduation in prior cosmic lessons resulted in reiteration of the same chapter once again. What we cannot master, we learn again.
I suggest instead of first leading yourself into the direction of asking 'Should i just forget her quickly' - I reckon you should reframe your question and direct the question inwardly.
'What does this mean to me and my development in Love?'
You might want to understand if there's an action/s you wish to compensate for your previous failed relationship and unconsciously directing this effort towards this 'proxy'?
Also the identity of your relationship is being questioned as well.
'What does it means for your relationship and your gf?' Namely, is your current gf lesser in any aspect than a figure of the past?
Only with careful examination of yourself, would you be able to have the clarity to decide your course of action with wisdom.
Cheers
Monday, November 17, 2008
OSchool Recital 08
SY'D Crew (ok - still not used in saying that) - for those who are interested to buy the Oschool Recital tickets under me are required to pass me the cash or transfer to me the money LATEST by this Sat (22 Nov). It is $15 per pax, held in SP on 8 Dec.
For those who failed to do so are assumed to be purchasing on their own or are not interested to watch. Not to worry because it's free seating - so as long as you have your tickets, we can still sit together as a group.
Just a reminder that door sales are charged at $20 per pax.
Gam xia!
For those who failed to do so are assumed to be purchasing on their own or are not interested to watch. Not to worry because it's free seating - so as long as you have your tickets, we can still sit together as a group.
Just a reminder that door sales are charged at $20 per pax.
Gam xia!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
To xian Yunhaier
The power of my beauty is legendary. (Please click to understand why)
For the 123154135131241512515th times - I have been xian by guys online, yet again.
P.S: Email has been removed - mere courtesy.
Cheers
Jinwen X 铁扇公主's Fan
HOLLY SHIT!
SO THAT IS WHERE 铁扇公主's Fan WENT! The same freaking fan that extinguish 红孩儿's fire. (Pai seh, that's my cousin - with me being 云孩儿）
Ok - Jinwen is going to use it to blow Karen and Freddy away (二师兄 and 三师弟).
Don't say I never warn...
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!
Wang Lee Hom Concert 08
StarHub Presents 'Music Man!' =D
Woohoo! 黄绿红 on stage!
Music Man x Corporate MTKG.
Well it rocks to be in Marketing. I doubt I can get this kinda of shit if I am outside of there. =(
Cheers
Woohoo! 黄绿红 on stage!
Music Man x Corporate MTKG.
Well it rocks to be in Marketing. I doubt I can get this kinda of shit if I am outside of there. =(
Cheers
End of Exam
Officially, I have completed year one of my course.
Pretty much confident that I will advance to year two in 2009. At least one consideration down (only for now). I am getting more busy with every passing day - looking at all the projects we have on hands, I think it's only going to get more insane.
Wheee! *Kx's tone*
Pretty much confident that I will advance to year two in 2009. At least one consideration down (only for now). I am getting more busy with every passing day - looking at all the projects we have on hands, I think it's only going to get more insane.
Wheee! *Kx's tone*
Friday, October 31, 2008
More Than Meets The Eye
Mel! Remember the spoilt-brat that we read on Straits Times on Sunday when we were slacking at Gloria Jeans Coffee?
Dude! She has been framed by ST!
For those who doesn't know what's going on: please read
http://www.asiaone.com/Business/News/My%2BMoney/Story/A1Story20081028-96636.html
After that - please read this:
http://theonlinecitizen.com/2008/10/toc-exclusive-agnes-lin-a-victim-of-the-st/
***
Moral of the story - an honest media is an oxymoron.
The media kinda made a bimbo out of her - once again, it has proven that our 'propagandized news' ain't as 'reliable' as it seemed to be.
The truth will never be out without the Internet.
We need press freedom.
Cheers
Dude! She has been framed by ST!
For those who doesn't know what's going on: please read
http://www.asiaone.com/Business/News/My%2BMoney/Story/A1Story20081028-96636.html
After that - please read this:
http://theonlinecitizen.com/2008/10/toc-exclusive-agnes-lin-a-victim-of-the-st/
***
Moral of the story - an honest media is an oxymoron.
The media kinda made a bimbo out of her - once again, it has proven that our 'propagandized news' ain't as 'reliable' as it seemed to be.
The truth will never be out without the Internet.
We need press freedom.
Cheers
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
SA - Beyond Godlike
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Beyond Godlike for SA - I loved it when selfish people don't wanna buy wards when I play stealth characters.
My team sucked so badly that upon calculation, 72% of the kills comes from me. They fed so much that I almost call it a day. Slow and steady wins the game: albeit I top the chart with 16 kills, the second place is a miserable 3 frags.
So much for contrast
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Danzation 2008 (HRC Notice)
My lovely ladies and gentleman,
Please submit your payment of $15 to me if you want to go Danzation 2008. Take note that it will be on a Saturaday (20 Dec), so please book your calendar.
So far only Mel has given me. So for the rest, please remember and pass it to me on Sunday.
P.S: We need to start to think about the VOS performance real soon.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Aunt Agony 201008
Originally posted by babypinkstar:
Hello everyone. (:
Intro of the people involved:
1. My ex (Jonathan)
We were from the same sec sch. We dated when I was sec 3, and he was one year older.However, due to some childish reasons, we broke up. We did stay in contact, mainly using msn.
Last year during Aug, (i'm already in jc, he went privatesch). Then he attended one of my college event. So we met up after the event. And we were back into a r/s.
4 months later (Dec), he turned cold and so we broke up.
2. My JC BFF (Jenny)
She was my best friend during these two years, till now.And she knows Jonathan too, 'cause he often drop by my school to send me home.
3. And me, obviously (Names are faked)
THE STORY:
Long story cut short.
I just found out few weeks ago that since this Jan08. Jenny was with Jonathan.They'd been together for 8months already, and still is together.
Let's see, Jon and me broke up during Dec. And they got together in January. What are the chances that he turned cold was NOT because of Jenny's existence?
I'd asked her why she steals my guy, but she denies doing so. Both Jenny and Jonathan insist that they are just two singles getting together.
She lied to me for so long. Yet, pretending to be my best friend for these 8 months.
I'm terribly upset by her actions.I don't understand how some people can be so selfish.
I'd said I forgive her, though I refused to talk to her.I'd even grant both of them happiness, but sometimes I regret what I'd said.Sometimes, I still hate her.
Did I do the right thing? Should I not have forgiven her?
Perhaps we should always look back upon the reason why Love blossomed in the first place.
Surely when the relationship was formed, your Love was pristine.
But as the relationship gradually perish abruptly, your bitterness overshadowed this very Love that came and left. You might speculate and derive a logical deduction that your best friend is responsible for snatching your boyfriend away - but that merely debase your Love into that of a quantifiable possession that mindlessly oscillate where the wind blows stronger.
Something that was lost? Or is it because your enervated relationship was already feeble in the first place and the foundation could not sustain against the test of reality?
Real love stands adamantly like a rock, for those that sway are but pebbles. When our relationship fails, instead of allocating blame in our external environment, perhaps we must always introspect and look at ourselves first.
We are not perfect either.
And we are but imperfect being trying to perfect our relationship.
Why feel acrimonious when you have merely given up a man that doesn't fit the your puzzle?
Perhaps, to others, it might be just right.
But surely, it's not your lost since it's unfitting.
Cheers
Hello everyone. (:
Intro of the people involved:
1. My ex (Jonathan)
We were from the same sec sch. We dated when I was sec 3, and he was one year older.However, due to some childish reasons, we broke up. We did stay in contact, mainly using msn.
Last year during Aug, (i'm already in jc, he went privatesch). Then he attended one of my college event. So we met up after the event. And we were back into a r/s.
4 months later (Dec), he turned cold and so we broke up.
2. My JC BFF (Jenny)
She was my best friend during these two years, till now.And she knows Jonathan too, 'cause he often drop by my school to send me home.
3. And me, obviously (Names are faked)
THE STORY:
Long story cut short.
I just found out few weeks ago that since this Jan08. Jenny was with Jonathan.They'd been together for 8months already, and still is together.
Let's see, Jon and me broke up during Dec. And they got together in January. What are the chances that he turned cold was NOT because of Jenny's existence?
I'd asked her why she steals my guy, but she denies doing so. Both Jenny and Jonathan insist that they are just two singles getting together.
She lied to me for so long. Yet, pretending to be my best friend for these 8 months.
I'm terribly upset by her actions.I don't understand how some people can be so selfish.
I'd said I forgive her, though I refused to talk to her.I'd even grant both of them happiness, but sometimes I regret what I'd said.Sometimes, I still hate her.
Did I do the right thing? Should I not have forgiven her?
Perhaps we should always look back upon the reason why Love blossomed in the first place.
Surely when the relationship was formed, your Love was pristine.
But as the relationship gradually perish abruptly, your bitterness overshadowed this very Love that came and left. You might speculate and derive a logical deduction that your best friend is responsible for snatching your boyfriend away - but that merely debase your Love into that of a quantifiable possession that mindlessly oscillate where the wind blows stronger.
Something that was lost? Or is it because your enervated relationship was already feeble in the first place and the foundation could not sustain against the test of reality?
Real love stands adamantly like a rock, for those that sway are but pebbles. When our relationship fails, instead of allocating blame in our external environment, perhaps we must always introspect and look at ourselves first.
We are not perfect either.
And we are but imperfect being trying to perfect our relationship.
Why feel acrimonious when you have merely given up a man that doesn't fit the your puzzle?
Perhaps, to others, it might be just right.
But surely, it's not your lost since it's unfitting.
Cheers
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Aunt Agony 141008
Originally posted by doc4u:
Any difference?
I'd like to know what the girls in this forum thinks. I know i've posted this in another section but i want to know more opinions about this.
You see, my girlfriend keeps insisting that her going out with her guy friends (1:1) is just nothing. And its not a date. Guy friends that she meets online and meets personally for the first time on that "date". We've had several arguments about this because to me going out with a guy is the same as having a date with him. Like i wouldn't spend time and effort if i don't like this person.
Now, its quite different if you've been friends with this guy friend of yours for a long time. That i can take and understand that its just a friendly date. But to go out with a total stranger just to meet him and be friends to him is something im not comfortable with.
It doesn't matter how one defines it because her inner condition will reflect the decision she make and justify it through emotional deduction.
'I did not cheat on you, so why are you accusing me of cheating?'
You are stuck in a quagmire because she did not do anything blatant to constitute a love crime, yet you are hoping to prevent such an occurrence from happening. Is almost like trying to prevent a developing crisis from the taking place without the onus to prove that a crisis is indeed growing from the development.
Online friends.
Sheesh.
As much as she is putting on the facade to be a 'causal' friend to them (since she already admitted that she is keeping her options open), chances are, the guys that dated her privately are also putting on that facade under the cover of a 'causal friend' to seek possible opportunity, especially if they are single (because why not?).
You wondered why would she date other guys, when she is already in a relationship. It is usually a combination of these two reasons:
I) Many times, people regularly question about their current choice of partner. Is he/she really the one? Hence, subconsciously, they seek to test this hypothesis by dating other people to understand about the 'product positioning' of their mate and judge if their choice is really suitable for them.
II) To revel in new romantic experience once again. Often, people seek to reinvent the romantic aspect of Love, for this sort of uncommitment is seductively attractive. There are always exchange/s of some sort and contrary to popular belief, it need not be sexual in nature. Some woman loves to recreate the experience of man showering their attention and affection at them (usually comes in a form of treats and gifts), yet deep inside their conscious state of mind, they never wanted to be with them.
Before you start to fret about your current situation, you got to be fully aware that a relationship is bounded by freewill. Thus, the unwilling will not remain in a relationship, despite your entire life effort to prevent the unwilling from leaving - it will remain futile. Similarly, if she wants to stay, nothing can make her go.
My take is simple - for those who believe in dating other people too, then allow that practice for both parties. Now your security is threatened because it seemed that your 'monogamy mindset' has created an inequality, in terms of the choice of mates, as compared to your gf - then seek to even up the playing field and evolve yourself to be more marketable in the 'social market'.
P.S: I am never bothered by competitions. And if my other half decide to jump ship, I would say go ahead and respect the decision without hesitation.
Seriously, why even bother to keep something that doesn't belong to you, if time gradually revealed this conclusion?
In the first place, Love was never a possession to begin with.
Cheers
Any difference?
I'd like to know what the girls in this forum thinks. I know i've posted this in another section but i want to know more opinions about this.
You see, my girlfriend keeps insisting that her going out with her guy friends (1:1) is just nothing. And its not a date. Guy friends that she meets online and meets personally for the first time on that "date". We've had several arguments about this because to me going out with a guy is the same as having a date with him. Like i wouldn't spend time and effort if i don't like this person.
Now, its quite different if you've been friends with this guy friend of yours for a long time. That i can take and understand that its just a friendly date. But to go out with a total stranger just to meet him and be friends to him is something im not comfortable with.
It doesn't matter how one defines it because her inner condition will reflect the decision she make and justify it through emotional deduction.
'I did not cheat on you, so why are you accusing me of cheating?'
You are stuck in a quagmire because she did not do anything blatant to constitute a love crime, yet you are hoping to prevent such an occurrence from happening. Is almost like trying to prevent a developing crisis from the taking place without the onus to prove that a crisis is indeed growing from the development.
Online friends.
Sheesh.
As much as she is putting on the facade to be a 'causal' friend to them (since she already admitted that she is keeping her options open), chances are, the guys that dated her privately are also putting on that facade under the cover of a 'causal friend' to seek possible opportunity, especially if they are single (because why not?).
You wondered why would she date other guys, when she is already in a relationship. It is usually a combination of these two reasons:
I) Many times, people regularly question about their current choice of partner. Is he/she really the one? Hence, subconsciously, they seek to test this hypothesis by dating other people to understand about the 'product positioning' of their mate and judge if their choice is really suitable for them.
II) To revel in new romantic experience once again. Often, people seek to reinvent the romantic aspect of Love, for this sort of uncommitment is seductively attractive. There are always exchange/s of some sort and contrary to popular belief, it need not be sexual in nature. Some woman loves to recreate the experience of man showering their attention and affection at them (usually comes in a form of treats and gifts), yet deep inside their conscious state of mind, they never wanted to be with them.
Before you start to fret about your current situation, you got to be fully aware that a relationship is bounded by freewill. Thus, the unwilling will not remain in a relationship, despite your entire life effort to prevent the unwilling from leaving - it will remain futile. Similarly, if she wants to stay, nothing can make her go.
My take is simple - for those who believe in dating other people too, then allow that practice for both parties. Now your security is threatened because it seemed that your 'monogamy mindset' has created an inequality, in terms of the choice of mates, as compared to your gf - then seek to even up the playing field and evolve yourself to be more marketable in the 'social market'.
P.S: I am never bothered by competitions. And if my other half decide to jump ship, I would say go ahead and respect the decision without hesitation.
Seriously, why even bother to keep something that doesn't belong to you, if time gradually revealed this conclusion?
In the first place, Love was never a possession to begin with.
Cheers
SSA Times x CGF Photos!
Finally we have our first HRC shot in SSA times. For the first time, Fred wasn't caught on smiley face. That attitude looked like he's going to stomp the yard! =D
P.S: Von was caught giggling behind. Hiak!
Wei Xiang looked damn cool in his character. Wahahahhahahahahahahaha~!
Cheers
Friday, October 10, 2008
Yunhaier's Quote
I just randomly found out that I got quoted by someone on the net.
LOL!
That's a little pat on the back for Yunhaier the Aunt Agony - someone actually read my shit! ROFLMAO!
Cheers
Monday, October 06, 2008
Aunt Agony 061008
Originally posted by jusagerl:
i broke up with my ex over simple squables. i just didnt wanna give in. actually its just a petty fight.. and i kinda regretted it...
i wanted him back and i told him to think it over.. when he finnaly msg me to like go for dinner, he said he misses me a lil but doesnt know what he wants yet. then when we were about to go for dinner, he said last minute he cant make it cosh his fren having relationship problem. he was explaining to me because his fren want to propose to the girlfriend already and if we can just meet some other day but im stupid enough to reply him, i give up.
haiz.. then i told him, i didnt mean to say that.. i missed him so bad that i called him up last week. i told him, i wont disturb him this time round to let him think thoroughly. i didnt msgd him or call him up till today. its been a wk... haiz..
i msgd him wether i can meet him but he never replied me. so i called him up. i asked wether he can meet me today and he asked for what. i told him because i miss him. he didnt reply. so i asked again wether i can meet him today and he said no. i asked him back, wether does he want to give our relationship another chance?.. and he said he need more time.
does he really need time? i saw his msn greeting saying yesterday.. "lonely saturday night"
we broke up before because it was a long distance relationship last year but when i got back this year, he asked me back.
so i dont know wether this time round is it really over..?
Why insist on getting back together when he isn't ready?
You seemed to run your relationship based on the fluctuation of your emotions - it's no wonder why your relationship would often vacillate into both extremes and end up snapping violently.
Before you decide to patch, you got to consider some things very carefully: if the management of your relationship is still going to persist in such a fashion, then you will probably break up somewhere later in the future... again. Coming back together is no magic - it's just a decision to return back to old shit. Returning 'home' on a later date doesn't mean that the old shit are cleanse - it's still there waiting for you to do something about it.
Unless you make sure that your relationship evolved through your own human revolution - there isn't a point to return - just because your emotions feel like it has to be it doesn't mean it has to be it.
Cheers
i broke up with my ex over simple squables. i just didnt wanna give in. actually its just a petty fight.. and i kinda regretted it...
i wanted him back and i told him to think it over.. when he finnaly msg me to like go for dinner, he said he misses me a lil but doesnt know what he wants yet. then when we were about to go for dinner, he said last minute he cant make it cosh his fren having relationship problem. he was explaining to me because his fren want to propose to the girlfriend already and if we can just meet some other day but im stupid enough to reply him, i give up.
haiz.. then i told him, i didnt mean to say that.. i missed him so bad that i called him up last week. i told him, i wont disturb him this time round to let him think thoroughly. i didnt msgd him or call him up till today. its been a wk... haiz..
i msgd him wether i can meet him but he never replied me. so i called him up. i asked wether he can meet me today and he asked for what. i told him because i miss him. he didnt reply. so i asked again wether i can meet him today and he said no. i asked him back, wether does he want to give our relationship another chance?.. and he said he need more time.
does he really need time? i saw his msn greeting saying yesterday.. "lonely saturday night"
we broke up before because it was a long distance relationship last year but when i got back this year, he asked me back.
so i dont know wether this time round is it really over..?
Why insist on getting back together when he isn't ready?
You seemed to run your relationship based on the fluctuation of your emotions - it's no wonder why your relationship would often vacillate into both extremes and end up snapping violently.
Before you decide to patch, you got to consider some things very carefully: if the management of your relationship is still going to persist in such a fashion, then you will probably break up somewhere later in the future... again. Coming back together is no magic - it's just a decision to return back to old shit. Returning 'home' on a later date doesn't mean that the old shit are cleanse - it's still there waiting for you to do something about it.
Unless you make sure that your relationship evolved through your own human revolution - there isn't a point to return - just because your emotions feel like it has to be it doesn't mean it has to be it.
Cheers
Friday, October 03, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Being Focus
I was talking to my mum - it was a good conversation.
I must be focus and must maintain as much concentration as I need to remain steady and determined - like an adamant rock. Recalling the time when I was in air force and I told myself that I must not lose faith, principles, beliefs or ideals that I made me what I was back then. No matter what happen to my circumstances, my sheer willpower will surmount my environment, like how time and again I have smashed, defeated and overpowered negativity with my bare hands and will do it again and again - just to prove the same point about the amazing power of our spirit.
I saw how weary Jeffrey was when I saw him after the longest time - life have probably taken a toil on him. From our conversation, he seemed drained (psychologically and emotionally) from societal expectation of what it needs to be 'Jeffrey' - although he certainly did not agree with his environment.
Also, his environment is not exactly benign (to his ideals) to begin with.
I remembered that time when that happens to me and this serve a good reminder to me once again.
I blasted at myself 'why give so much fuck about shit outside yourself? Why let others determine your route when they don't even walk to way you do?'
And as I began my first steps forward and beyond, my inner voice grows incessantly louder and the noise outside quietens.
It 's so quiet outside that now the effect of Trine sinks in; it will builds complacency over time.
Mark: you mustn't stop growing - you have all it takes to create something from nothing and therefore you must also have the strength to step out of your comfort zone to constantly challenge yourself. The minute when you feel too comfortable doing what you are doing right now and when your vision start to cloud your eyes with fanciful illusions that steal your attention away - you will eventually lose the strength to fight.
You cannot allow yourself to be succumbed.
*Roar*
I must be focus and must maintain as much concentration as I need to remain steady and determined - like an adamant rock. Recalling the time when I was in air force and I told myself that I must not lose faith, principles, beliefs or ideals that I made me what I was back then. No matter what happen to my circumstances, my sheer willpower will surmount my environment, like how time and again I have smashed, defeated and overpowered negativity with my bare hands and will do it again and again - just to prove the same point about the amazing power of our spirit.
I saw how weary Jeffrey was when I saw him after the longest time - life have probably taken a toil on him. From our conversation, he seemed drained (psychologically and emotionally) from societal expectation of what it needs to be 'Jeffrey' - although he certainly did not agree with his environment.
Also, his environment is not exactly benign (to his ideals) to begin with.
I remembered that time when that happens to me and this serve a good reminder to me once again.
I blasted at myself 'why give so much fuck about shit outside yourself? Why let others determine your route when they don't even walk to way you do?'
And as I began my first steps forward and beyond, my inner voice grows incessantly louder and the noise outside quietens.
It 's so quiet outside that now the effect of Trine sinks in; it will builds complacency over time.
Mark: you mustn't stop growing - you have all it takes to create something from nothing and therefore you must also have the strength to step out of your comfort zone to constantly challenge yourself. The minute when you feel too comfortable doing what you are doing right now and when your vision start to cloud your eyes with fanciful illusions that steal your attention away - you will eventually lose the strength to fight.
You cannot allow yourself to be succumbed.
*Roar*
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Aunt Agony 242908
Originally posted by stuck:
Thank you for reading this topic, please read with an open mind. Advice will be taken and read with gratefulness. Those who could not understand and cant accept the story, kindly respect the situation as no one knows and expects what is going to happen in life. We only live once.
I am in love with a married woman. She told me that she love me and is in a dilema. She do not know what to do.
I initate a clear break up thru sms but when we met up the following days, we still ended up together as there are still feelings for each other.
Can someone give me advice? What should I do? I am in love with her and she know it.
How can I: -
i) Make it even clearer to her that I wan her and be with her? (this is to show her that I am true to her and is sincere)
ii) know that she wan to be with me too (since she say she is in a dilema, i guess it should be me, the guy, to ensure her, however, I wan to make sure she is not just wanting to be with me to escape from her current relationship)
Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):
~Just Do It ~
.. trust mi.. i understand ur feeling.... i'm in love with 3 married woman now.. so... what u think......
ya all 3.. can die for them.... u know who is wei xiao bao right?
For every love triangle actualized through the decision of the central figure, which is then linked to two or more partners through his connection, it is but a tacit acceptance to bore the karmic debts fashioned by his/her cosmic lesson in Love.
I do not disagree with the fact people could still be subjected to falling in love outside their primary intimate partners despite being married. And seriously, there are a myriad of reasons why this happens. Most people dismissed it under the general façade of Love to justify their opendus modus, but across several hundred dimensions of Love, the ones that brought about the most misery are the ones that often seen, felt or tasted like the real thing in one’s context and reality in life, created entirely by their own perception or disillusionment.
Anyone could have claims to love all three at a go, however, when you probe deep enough to reach the core, this façade of Love always acts like a canopy of vegetation that shields real underlying reasons from surfacing. Some even lionize or glamorize this canopy and incorporate certain falsation into their belief system, as they taught themselves to see it as part of their reality, and in turn, manifest this preconceived reality into their reality.
It’s interesting to note how people formulate aspects of the media and certain histrionic qualities found in protagonist/s of fictional tales, in explaining various decisions they make in life, which the individual have come to believe and find self-perceived striking resemblance in both the character and themselves.
It’s not the act of falling in love that matters to me – it’s the bondage to uncommitment and unavailability of another that is critical. If this was a common scenario in your life, then very likely, the cusps of problem would revolve around the condition of your life, your developmental years and your spiritual account in Love.
I am not a moral police – falling in Love with someone unavailable, to me, is not wrong: it’s just karmic.
Hence, if you have already decided upon your route, then you must be open to your outcome, even if it’s negative.
Cheers
Thank you for reading this topic, please read with an open mind. Advice will be taken and read with gratefulness. Those who could not understand and cant accept the story, kindly respect the situation as no one knows and expects what is going to happen in life. We only live once.
I am in love with a married woman. She told me that she love me and is in a dilema. She do not know what to do.
I initate a clear break up thru sms but when we met up the following days, we still ended up together as there are still feelings for each other.
Can someone give me advice? What should I do? I am in love with her and she know it.
How can I: -
i) Make it even clearer to her that I wan her and be with her? (this is to show her that I am true to her and is sincere)
ii) know that she wan to be with me too (since she say she is in a dilema, i guess it should be me, the guy, to ensure her, however, I wan to make sure she is not just wanting to be with me to escape from her current relationship)
Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):
~Just Do It ~
.. trust mi.. i understand ur feeling.... i'm in love with 3 married woman now.. so... what u think......
ya all 3.. can die for them.... u know who is wei xiao bao right?
For every love triangle actualized through the decision of the central figure, which is then linked to two or more partners through his connection, it is but a tacit acceptance to bore the karmic debts fashioned by his/her cosmic lesson in Love.
I do not disagree with the fact people could still be subjected to falling in love outside their primary intimate partners despite being married. And seriously, there are a myriad of reasons why this happens. Most people dismissed it under the general façade of Love to justify their opendus modus, but across several hundred dimensions of Love, the ones that brought about the most misery are the ones that often seen, felt or tasted like the real thing in one’s context and reality in life, created entirely by their own perception or disillusionment.
Anyone could have claims to love all three at a go, however, when you probe deep enough to reach the core, this façade of Love always acts like a canopy of vegetation that shields real underlying reasons from surfacing. Some even lionize or glamorize this canopy and incorporate certain falsation into their belief system, as they taught themselves to see it as part of their reality, and in turn, manifest this preconceived reality into their reality.
It’s interesting to note how people formulate aspects of the media and certain histrionic qualities found in protagonist/s of fictional tales, in explaining various decisions they make in life, which the individual have come to believe and find self-perceived striking resemblance in both the character and themselves.
It’s not the act of falling in love that matters to me – it’s the bondage to uncommitment and unavailability of another that is critical. If this was a common scenario in your life, then very likely, the cusps of problem would revolve around the condition of your life, your developmental years and your spiritual account in Love.
I am not a moral police – falling in Love with someone unavailable, to me, is not wrong: it’s just karmic.
Hence, if you have already decided upon your route, then you must be open to your outcome, even if it’s negative.
Cheers
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Scariest Haunted House Ever
The scariest haunted house ever is found in Japan.
To be specific, the setting is actually a ruined hospital - One unique concept is that participants are free to explore the hospital in any ways or route you want, which is unlike traditional theme haunted house, where you are assigned somewhat a linear maze and a I-will-scare-you-as-you-walk concept. IMHO is quite stupid.
Self exploration depict many familiar scenes in horror shows, where the protagonist's encounter is largely based on his/her choice to be curious. This haunted house not only have very scary static horror display, but also people acting as mobile zombies. There are also many doors that requires the participants to open themselves, which intensify the mood.
Below are some pictures of the haunted hospital:
A bunch of woman dressed in such mini nurse's uniform? Gee... For the guys, don't know if this feels pornish or scary.
And for people like Grace and Fred - the place have several exit, in case you cannot take it anymore. There will also be escort to help you out if you really CMI inside.
This is a living testimony on why many horror shows are imported from east to west. Totally insane and awesome.
Cheers
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Busy Shit
I don't know why the hell am I blogging when I still have 15% more to completion for my sociology TMA02.
Sometimes, after coming back home late after lectures - my brain is so packed that I literally want to sink into my own things just to unwind a little. The usual weekdays rush; before I know it - tomorrow has conveniently arrived and begins the day's madness in a jiffy once again.
So much to do - yet so little time to spare.
But ironically, I have grown accustomed to such a pace.
I need a hug.
Sometimes, after coming back home late after lectures - my brain is so packed that I literally want to sink into my own things just to unwind a little. The usual weekdays rush; before I know it - tomorrow has conveniently arrived and begins the day's madness in a jiffy once again.
So much to do - yet so little time to spare.
But ironically, I have grown accustomed to such a pace.
I need a hug.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Freddy Caught in Act
Freddy always smile when he does something wrong.
Like dancing alright.
The wider the smile - the worst it gets. =D
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Yunhaier x Kaws x HRC (Femme)
Everyone loved to stab Kaws in its eyes - and it's so happened that it is located strategically at where my nipples are.
Can you imagine if I bought Nexus VII x OF?
I will fringing get my ass grope by Karen and Kenneth.
Certified and proven.
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