Aunt Agony 271208

Originally posted by Joi_lin:

Recently, I feel sad when people questioned me about single status. Asking me why I am single and when I will get married.

Just not too long ago, I bumped into an old neighbour.She is as old as me and to my surprise, she is already a mother of 3 kids. I felt so ashamed of myself.So what I am more educated than her ? So what I am slimmer than her?

Whenever there are match making subject in the news, I will cringe. Some relatives even joke to sign me up. My parents always drop big hint that so and so 's daughter got married already. I feel upset and I am hitting 30 soon. It seems like a deadline for women.

Furthermore, people do not understand why I do not have a boyfriend. I also do not understand why they do not understand.

I really do not want to end up desperate one day.



As much as we all believe that Love must indeed come naturally, our 'Self' component must provide the fertile ground for such natural occurrence to manifest into reality. This 'Self' component, namely our personality and what steps we take to render ourselves more socially desirable, not merely in the physical sense, but also as a person emotionally, psychologically and spiritually positive.

The theory of probability is self explanatory: if you want to find someone suitable, you got to get out of your house and start meeting people. When your social network improves, the chance for you to find someone suitable gets better, as compared to solitary activities that could only drive some meager mileage for you in aspects of Love.

If you reckon that certain channels are not suitable, it's perfectly ok. Learn to develop interest and expand your social network through the interest you invest yourself with. Also, do not adopt self-defeating mindset because it's very much a vicious cycle - as much as you are pressured socially to be attached, this beget from a negative source: namely pressure. Hence, your attitude towards knowing someone is always about accessing someone if he/she is suitable for you. Then if things isn't what you reckon it to be, you get dejected, you become more withdrawn and whole cycle repeats itself

Here's a truth: the more negative a person is, the more likely he/she will attract negative mate.

Your fear produces the negative aura - hence, your disappointment in men that you met online are merely corroboration of reality - through the synergy of both your thoughts and feelings - manifest as latent effect.

As much as my discipline in my astrology has taught me, I disagree with the fact that some people are destined to be alone. The challenge is not merely to analysis a person and telling them about how doom they are, but the task is to empower one to take corrective steps to overcome their issues. And to change situations, one must have that self awareness to understand the root of problem and for cases like yours, I can tell you, it's very much due to the inability to recognize our own inadequacy and learning to get out of our comfort zone after recognition.

Some people decides that Love will come naturally, say, after school days. But I can tell you from a sociological perspective, with the elimination of a socializing agent, such as a school compound, your social circle should get smaller unless steps are taken to ensure that it doesn't. And again with the law of probability, your chances, naturally, get worst because, like you have found out, people are either attached/married or their psychographic is entirely off the chart.

I say, invest more time in yourself and simultaneously develop your social circle. And learn to eliminate guilt from your heart - not being attached does NOT suggest that something is wrong with you. It simply means that you have to develop yourself more in a wholesome sense, so that the attraction can take place when you have work on that 'Self' component.

Cheers