Aunt Agony II 041106 (Continue from AA 041106)

Originally posted by galfriend:

In a way, im so scared about facing the truth, im so scared about facing my feelings rawly, for i fear that if i do, the willful me will juz run into his arms regardless of right or wrong, good or bad, which i had done umpteen times during the 5 years we were together.
Which caused me to be hurt from head to toe, emotional scars over and over my body.



I would have guessed it; the meaningless promise and an endless wait, because those are elements of stagnation that deprive us of growth. From here, I would have presume that you and him have undergo several break-patch cycle that probably ends at that final irrevocable break up at the end of five years.

Your relationship was given MORE than one chance to work out. I don't know how much failures would you need before you would understand that some things are never meant to be and when you try to force your way in, the situation becomes ugly.



Originally posted by galfriend:

Yes, certain parts of me still desire him. Certain parts of me still angry with him. Certain parts of me still cant bear to leave him. But a really large part of me tells me that we cant be together. You know the song, "Shan Hu Hai", by Jay Chou? Yes, it is love between a bird and a fish... so unforbidden.

I want to stop waiting. Perhaps i should, yes i should. But what if the moment i stop waiting, he decides he wants to settle down? im so afraid and im so confused. yes, what if the moment i stop waiting, he decides he wants to settle down? you know "25 minutes" by MLTR?

Im sorry if i sound so love sick, so helpless, for im really baring my heart.

Thank you for your insights.



You have spent seven and half years wandering in limbo; are you going to up the stake to ten years? Fifteen years? Or more?

Your mind is resisting the fact that you should get on with life. Resolve the bondage by telling yourself: don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

Have that critical understanding of 'chen jin yong you' instead of 'tian chang di jiu'.

NEVER presume that the one we feel the most intense for, is the one we love the most because this could jolly well be a karmic relationship on your part, disguising as 'the one you love most'. Of course in a perfect scenario, it would have been logical and easy to say that we should always settle for the one we love most - but how often does this situation occurs? If divorce rate stands at a steady 33.3%, then the phenomenon of settling with someone, other than the ones we love most, would be even higher.

Looking at this situation, if you reckon that the one you love most is him (and abandoned the theory of karmic relationship completely), how confident are you to say that the marriage wouldn't end up in divorce, considering that it couldn't even last through a BGR?

It's not a question of love; it's a question of a woman - yourself.

Your refusal to accept 'that's the end of it' is the root where your pain comes from, it is not where the heart aches. You are not letting go - you are grasping tightly, refusing to release those bondage. Your hands is bleeding because of your grip, not because of love.

You are condoning your own suffering to remain in your soul and multiply maliciously.

***

I had someone I love the most.

But circumstances made it impossible.

I was a mortal then, thinking like what anyone else would think - you had to be with the one you love most.

But circumstances made it impossible.

In the end, I realise that I caused by own suffering because I deny my own personal growth.

I became what I am now because I have been taught to release, not because I was taught to hold on.

We become stronger that way; we forge a closer understanding of what Love means as we are discharged from our emotional baggage.

Learn acceptance.

Cheers