Originally posted by shadez:
I'm currently in a relationship and lately, i've been feeling emotionally drained inside. I see my girlfriend everyday but i don't really get sick of her, i actually enjoy seeing her daily as i miss her alot when she isn't with me.
Due to her school work, recently she has become very irate. She would blow up at me for nothing and sometimes, i feel like i'm her punching bag. I admit, i'm not a boyfriend who gives her alot of freedom, but i'm very sure that i try to meet her every demand. I fetch her from school everyday so that she has someone to share her day's events with...
We're arguing almost everyday, and 80% of the time, i'm the one giving in and apologising to her, trying to make things right. Whenever she stomps away from me in the heat of an argument, i feel really hurt as she doesn't even turn her head to see if i'm behind.
Sometimes, i try to do what she does, not looking back and walking away. But i found myself unable to do it. No matter if it was her fault or mine, i would always want her to be on good terms with me and therefore, would always make it a point to make things better.
If i were to judge myself, in my own opinion, i would think that i'm the softer party in this relationship. I can't bear to see us arguing but sadly, i feel that she can be very hard-hearted at times.
It's confusing to me, as i feel that she really loves me. When we are on good terms and she is happy, she would make me promise her that we'll never argue again. But in the end, another argument would sprout out.
We've had countless arguments on the phone, when we're outside. The thing i disliked the most, is that sometimes she'll say "whatever...".
I still love my girlfriend, and i'm emotionally drained. The thought of breaking up is unthinkable as i can't imagine myself to be without her. She has told me before that she can't live without me too. I've been together with her for almost 8 months already.
To whoever is reading this, if you had been in my situation in your life, would you care to share your opinion and resolve? Much thanks to anyone who helps.
Being in a relationship tells a lot about ourselves and often wondered why are we leading 'certain' relationship we never understand. Well, that's because you are trying to examine a problem within the structure of the relationship, when the root of it all lies with the self.
You have so much insecurity in you that could probably ping flood me out; you admitted that you are domineering and exercise control in her daily life - therefore, it's not really surprising to see frequent quarrels in your relationship because your insecurity is gnawing the life out of your Love.
You mentioned that you try to 'meet her every demand like fetch her from school everyday so that she got someone to share her day event with...'
Wait a second - doesn't it sound more like your demand?
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Originally posted by shadez:
I see my girlfriend everyday but i don't really get sick of her, i actually enjoy seeing her daily as i miss her alot when she isn't with me.
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Interesting how one would reposition their perception insofar of having the ability to fit the claim so nicely and yet logical - this self justification of what you think is good for the relationship is merely a product of your unevolved perception. If your relationship suffers and not benefit from your definition of what Love is to you, then you might have to review the entire relationship from scratch again.
The reason why you are always compromising on your part, even till the extend of lowering your dignity, is because you are afraid that one day she might just turn around and walk away forever. Your fear of leading life without her presence coerced you to accept any odds, regardless of how ridiculous or unreasonable it seemed.
Your behaviors are driven by fear, much less motivated by love.
The paradox in Love: the more you fear you will lose her, the more damage you will unconsciously deal to the relationship.
Cheers
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