Originally posted by j_dsowner:
Yunhaier
so what you're trying to say is that i must slowly figure out what i really want out of this friendship?
and my actions will bring out huge consequences?
yes, i'm indeed confused at times whether it's love or just a normal friendship bond and that gets me really lost in life.
and now i'm stuck in treating her good or distance myself a little more away from her.
one of my friend once told me " there's always a limit to being a friend . " [ cos she suspects something about me that time ]
is that true? is there a limit to being a friend? I didn't know that being too good to someone will bring about harm.
and today that girl msged me, and i replied in a rather unhappy tone. and she msg me back " since you are so unhappy i won't disturb you further. "
am i right in doing this? I don't know how to reply to that. i don't know if i should talk to her. i don't know if i should just keep to myself from her.
Your action will beget consequence to your own identity - the identity you carry. If you are clear about your own definition of how you see this friendship, being a good friend is merely being a good friend. But if you are always within the grey area, you are just making things difficult for yourself and her as you will probably resort to hot-cold treatment to ease the intention. That per se creates misery for both.
It is not the perimeters that the world has set for what defines a friendship, rather, it's your self understanding that will enlighten you on the underlying rationale why are you behaving in that manner.
Identity confusion is an adolescent phase some people go through. It doesn't mean that if you are having some sort of crisis, it automatically means that you are a gay person. You just need to learn to segment emotions and feelings from within and put names to these classifications so that you are able to recognize and differentiate them.
Of course, at the end of the day, if you are hell of a sure that you are in love with your bestie and internalize that you are a lesbian, that's a completely different story altogether.
Learn to know yourself. Speak to someone else you are comfortable with (probably not within your social circle if you fear words might go around) and release some of these closet thoughts. You might actually feel better and discover more about yourself and learn to make better judgment.
Cheers
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