Aunt Agony II 090607

Originally posted by Uncertain:
I am a 21 years old with no successful BGR before but with 3 unsuccessful confessions.... : I am feeling rather dejected by this. I know there are others out there who suffer much worse fate than me (after reading through the AA forum) but i am starting to feel lethargic about relationship. I admit i get attracted to pretty girls easily but because of my look and past experience, I always try to refrain myself from liking them. To prevent them from being kind to me which always give me false hope, i will act like a jerk to them but not to the extent that i am so resentful (still can be normal friend that kind). The 3 confessions i made to the girls is because they are just being nice to me, then i thought they like me (but i also like them too la). Now i am going to UNI soon, i am wondering i should go for the orientation cos i hear from my senior that you will get to know a lot of people there, especially chio bu. I am scared of falling in love again, i rather to be single than to be hurted again. Now that i am no longer feeling much for girl (dun say i gay, i hate them to the core, i rather be a virgin till i die than to be a gay), i am reverting back to my true self now (no longer acting like a jerk) as i dun like to wear a mask if i can afford to. Despite saying all this, i am yielding that one day i can get a really good girlfriend so that i won't leave this earth with any regret. Sian..... Sry but i just wanna grumble....


If it dawns to you by now, you actually have a modus operendi when it comes to the dating game and it has transformed itself into a vicious cycle which you have failed to identify, resulting in several bungles and botched-attempts of similar fashion over and over again.

The greatest factor why you always fail in love is largely due to your mindset - without a doubt, all failures fed themselves with this mindset - the concept of fear, which beget the outcome of insecurity and exude a 'push-factor aura' to woman around you.

The very facade that you brandished turns woman away and ironically, the reason why you initially garbed that notion is due to the fear of rejection. Paradoxically, you actually produce a 'solution' that inevitably contributes to your destruction and failures. Ego-crushed, you retreated and reiterated this ideology, then even when waves of failures trampled whatever esteem you have beyond fragments, you regress further and still persisted.

Though you may have switched your targets; it all ended up in the same backwash.

It's never a sin to fall in love, but surely, if you do hope for any chance of a genuine relationship, you got to be genuine yourself and be natural. Secondly, rejection is not a consequence of your run-of-the-mill appearance - much have to do with your personality. IMHO, you mentioned that you can't handle rejection; I reckon you can't handle affection as well. Generally, people are nice and if they are just being friendly and you find yourself hastily falling in love with whoever that treats you nicely, you are just going to spoil the broth even if there's only one cook.

Hold your horses and hang on for just a moment. Relationship with woman is not just BGR - learn to develop it first before you level up.

Cheers