Enuff Said.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Aunt Agony 260207
Originally posted by kuckuc:
I feel very tied up by my girlfriend.. she wants me to accompany her everyday after work, even weekends we will be together for the whole day. We stay very far from each other, I always reach home about 1am after taking bus back from her place. It's really tiring doing it everyday.
Even when I want to OT, she will be very very unhappy.. when i'm together with her sometime, office calls me, she will also be angry with me.
Basically she's afraid of doing anything herself, wants people to accompany her. When I suggest to go out with my friend, she will say don't know what to talk to them.
Even when I wanted to meet up with my friends after work, she will say something like "going to meet other girl hah? don't wanna care about me already.." sort of things... I can't join my friend. It has been so long since i'm together with her.
She is a good girl I know very well, only her behaviour and attitute that I'm feeling uneasy...
I am very tired.
I think this love is still hovering heavily around the notion of companionship. I mean, of course, love is companionship, but when that's the only thing you could see in your own relationship, somehow, you will probably experience a cap/stagnation in growth.
Is love merely companionship, taking the last bus ride back home and still feeling spiritually empty?
I am sure everybody generally agrees with the element of compromising in a relationship, but what if compromising becomes a relatively short term measure to a potential, brewing problem?
And that would probably be the time when you would want to analyze the root of her problem and resolve them before it becomes a real headache in your relationship (as it probably has been an issue right now).
I personally know of several people having the same sort of archetype personality like your girlfriend; they somewhat believe that a partner is a panacea to every little thing in life. Goodness, how tiring would that sound like?
The real underlying issue is but themselves.
You may want to have a heart-to-heart talk with her.
Cheers
I feel very tied up by my girlfriend.. she wants me to accompany her everyday after work, even weekends we will be together for the whole day. We stay very far from each other, I always reach home about 1am after taking bus back from her place. It's really tiring doing it everyday.
Even when I want to OT, she will be very very unhappy.. when i'm together with her sometime, office calls me, she will also be angry with me.
Basically she's afraid of doing anything herself, wants people to accompany her. When I suggest to go out with my friend, she will say don't know what to talk to them.
Even when I wanted to meet up with my friends after work, she will say something like "going to meet other girl hah? don't wanna care about me already.." sort of things... I can't join my friend. It has been so long since i'm together with her.
She is a good girl I know very well, only her behaviour and attitute that I'm feeling uneasy...
I am very tired.
I think this love is still hovering heavily around the notion of companionship. I mean, of course, love is companionship, but when that's the only thing you could see in your own relationship, somehow, you will probably experience a cap/stagnation in growth.
Is love merely companionship, taking the last bus ride back home and still feeling spiritually empty?
I am sure everybody generally agrees with the element of compromising in a relationship, but what if compromising becomes a relatively short term measure to a potential, brewing problem?
And that would probably be the time when you would want to analyze the root of her problem and resolve them before it becomes a real headache in your relationship (as it probably has been an issue right now).
I personally know of several people having the same sort of archetype personality like your girlfriend; they somewhat believe that a partner is a panacea to every little thing in life. Goodness, how tiring would that sound like?
The real underlying issue is but themselves.
You may want to have a heart-to-heart talk with her.
Cheers
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Aunt Agony II 230207 (Continued from AA 230207)
Originally posted by fire1980:
thanks.. appreciated.
i know she didn't like me, and i intend to walk away after this...
but i finding it very difficult..
Falling in love isn't like studying; there are times when you work hard and you fail miserably. It's not because you are not working hard enough, but rather, it's putting a wrong piece into a puzzle. Not matter how much you try forcing the missing piece into the puzzle, it just never turn out pretty.
Sometimes it amazed me to see guys not heeding rejection, thinking that it's a sign that they should work harder.
If Love could be obtained through sheer hard work; the most hard working guy would have ALL the love in the world.
How easy (and amazingly boring) would that be, isn't it?
P.S: Learn to cut your loses; finding it difficult to move on is a terribly bad excuse not to move along. If you would rather waste your time, effort and money onto someone who doesn't fancy you one bit, I suggest you find someone else who appreciate the real you.
Cheers
thanks.. appreciated.
i know she didn't like me, and i intend to walk away after this...
but i finding it very difficult..
Falling in love isn't like studying; there are times when you work hard and you fail miserably. It's not because you are not working hard enough, but rather, it's putting a wrong piece into a puzzle. Not matter how much you try forcing the missing piece into the puzzle, it just never turn out pretty.
Sometimes it amazed me to see guys not heeding rejection, thinking that it's a sign that they should work harder.
If Love could be obtained through sheer hard work; the most hard working guy would have ALL the love in the world.
How easy (and amazingly boring) would that be, isn't it?
P.S: Learn to cut your loses; finding it difficult to move on is a terribly bad excuse not to move along. If you would rather waste your time, effort and money onto someone who doesn't fancy you one bit, I suggest you find someone else who appreciate the real you.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 230207
Originally posted by fire1980:
:( hi guys/aunts...
quite a silly story, hope u all can forgive forgive.
there is this girl who really dun like me and have rejected me few months ago.
in fact it has got to the stage where she even told me to back off and always ignore me whenever she sees me. primarily my own fault for being too irritating n stuff.
like any 1-sided love i tried to make her feel special on valentines day.. i sold my beloved possession in order to buy her the 99 roses n stuff.
on the day it happened, she even email me asking if they were from me. I felt that I have to lie because 1) i am a coward and is afraid that she will throw everything back at me 2)i dun wan to ruin her happiness that day.
And so I say "No."
I do not know if she is aware (that it was me), but she is still very cold to me, up till this day.
Sometimes I feel like telling her the truth. But why? Perhaps i really want to give up, dun want to keep these little secrets in me any longer. Perhaps I just want things to change.
Of course I hope she will treat me better one day, but that is wishful thinking.
What should I do?
Narcissistic.
You are like playing a one player game while fantasizing the bots are real time players.
Everything is about yourself.
Don't waste your time and money; doing things like this doesn't score any points, in fact, you are just making a big fool out of yourself.
You can't force love out of someone when there isn't any in the first place.
Learn to respect people's choice.
Cheers
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Aunt Agony 220207
Originally posted by ahkico:
Sign.. I'm always stuck in between friends & my boy..
This time.. This is wat happen..
My gf asked mi out to go drinkin.. In a place called Clinic Bar or some name @ Clarke Quay..
Pardon my ignorance.. I dunno it's considered clubbin or wat?
But my boy refused to let mi go coz there were onli 3 of us gals there.. Well.. OUr ages are 20, 21, & the oldest is 28.. Naturally he is worried.. Says heis fine with mi goin shoppin, movies, etc with my gf.. but not drinkin..
If wanna go drinkin.. he at least be there.. (Bodyguard) haha.. I noe.. In singapore and in this century.. Tis is abit old fashioned..
My 2 gf I & V.. V is the youngest.. I is the oldest..
We were supposed to meet this thurs.. BUt V bf isn out.. N if my boy go, he is the onli guy and the odd one out.. so i suggested wk end when everybody is available..
Since V is on leave, i checked with I first.. See if she is free on fri or sat.. she choose sat..
Told V abt changin it to sat instead. She gave mi hell..
Sayin tat I have to change her schedule.. She also had to change to accomodate..
The thing is. I Onli suggested sat... I din insist! @ first V say they got somethin on..
I told her.. ok. we keep thurs then.. But go else where instead of tat pub.. She refused.. Then i 've no choice! I said wan go the pub go another dae then..
Bombarded mi with lots of hurtin n cutting words..
Say we 're not married.. HOw come he controllin u?? Dun allow you to go.. If u r married.. Worst lah.. no need to come out with them anymore. etc.
Says tat oh. my bf don allow mi to go out with u too.. blah blah..
Says wan give my boy a piece of her mind when she sees him on sat.
Ha.. i can't imagine how my boy will react.. He normally no temper at all... but i doubt on tat dae, he will keep quiet lik i usually do.. I'm sure he will talk back.. and i'm afraid of a showdown..
haiz..
I'm so frustruated.. I reali duno wat i'm doin is rite or wrong??
Coz indeed. I dun lik the idea to go drinkiin alone.. if he control mi other matters.. yeah.. i'll mak noise.. but not tis..
I'm stuck between my boy n friends..
Pls advice!!
I think you are not exactly stuck in a quagmire, since you agreed with your bf on this stand, that you won't go drinking without him. Therefore, in another words, this is also your choice - not just your boyfriend's decision. I think it kinda made your matter worst when you could have inevitably suggested that the change of plans is largely due to your boyfriend's displeasure. Even if it wasn't so, your friend perceived it that way.
Eventually, it's all about mutual understanding.
You could do your best to appease all sides, but you must have that understanding from them to compromise.
Of course, it would be better if your boyfriend isn't a chauvinist and learn the beauty of freedom and trust. It would be easier on your relationship with your friends. I mean, if he wants to come along, you don't have to bother if there's any other guys coming because he's intention is merely there to keep a watch on you... and to me, that's silly because he will be so out of place.
I mean this is probably a girl's night out and in the end you have a guy tagging along?
Come on.
You would probably spent all other times with your boyfriend and that's still not enough to even spare one night with friends?
You do your Maths.
P.S: A healthy relationship also consists of a healthy life outside that of their relationship.
Cheers
Sign.. I'm always stuck in between friends & my boy..
This time.. This is wat happen..
My gf asked mi out to go drinkin.. In a place called Clinic Bar or some name @ Clarke Quay..
Pardon my ignorance.. I dunno it's considered clubbin or wat?
But my boy refused to let mi go coz there were onli 3 of us gals there.. Well.. OUr ages are 20, 21, & the oldest is 28.. Naturally he is worried.. Says heis fine with mi goin shoppin, movies, etc with my gf.. but not drinkin..
If wanna go drinkin.. he at least be there.. (Bodyguard) haha.. I noe.. In singapore and in this century.. Tis is abit old fashioned..
My 2 gf I & V.. V is the youngest.. I is the oldest..
We were supposed to meet this thurs.. BUt V bf isn out.. N if my boy go, he is the onli guy and the odd one out.. so i suggested wk end when everybody is available..
Since V is on leave, i checked with I first.. See if she is free on fri or sat.. she choose sat..
Told V abt changin it to sat instead. She gave mi hell..
Sayin tat I have to change her schedule.. She also had to change to accomodate..
The thing is. I Onli suggested sat... I din insist! @ first V say they got somethin on..
I told her.. ok. we keep thurs then.. But go else where instead of tat pub.. She refused.. Then i 've no choice! I said wan go the pub go another dae then..
Bombarded mi with lots of hurtin n cutting words..
Say we 're not married.. HOw come he controllin u?? Dun allow you to go.. If u r married.. Worst lah.. no need to come out with them anymore. etc.
Says tat oh. my bf don allow mi to go out with u too.. blah blah..
Says wan give my boy a piece of her mind when she sees him on sat.
Ha.. i can't imagine how my boy will react.. He normally no temper at all... but i doubt on tat dae, he will keep quiet lik i usually do.. I'm sure he will talk back.. and i'm afraid of a showdown..
haiz..
I'm so frustruated.. I reali duno wat i'm doin is rite or wrong??
Coz indeed. I dun lik the idea to go drinkiin alone.. if he control mi other matters.. yeah.. i'll mak noise.. but not tis..
I'm stuck between my boy n friends..
Pls advice!!
I think you are not exactly stuck in a quagmire, since you agreed with your bf on this stand, that you won't go drinking without him. Therefore, in another words, this is also your choice - not just your boyfriend's decision. I think it kinda made your matter worst when you could have inevitably suggested that the change of plans is largely due to your boyfriend's displeasure. Even if it wasn't so, your friend perceived it that way.
Eventually, it's all about mutual understanding.
You could do your best to appease all sides, but you must have that understanding from them to compromise.
Of course, it would be better if your boyfriend isn't a chauvinist and learn the beauty of freedom and trust. It would be easier on your relationship with your friends. I mean, if he wants to come along, you don't have to bother if there's any other guys coming because he's intention is merely there to keep a watch on you... and to me, that's silly because he will be so out of place.
I mean this is probably a girl's night out and in the end you have a guy tagging along?
Come on.
You would probably spent all other times with your boyfriend and that's still not enough to even spare one night with friends?
You do your Maths.
P.S: A healthy relationship also consists of a healthy life outside that of their relationship.
Cheers
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Late Somber Mood
Perhaps when we are exposed to too much of certain stimuli... it just becomes numb.
Period
Period
Aunt Agony 210207
Originally posted by kuri:
I practise abstinence cos i believe in preserving my sexual purity for my spouse yet he finds it moral crap. mayb cos he's done it before, he says he doesnt bother bout his girl's past and the "chaste n innocent" girl doesnt appeal to him yet asked me at times whether i had done this done that before with other guys. barely a month ago he said no guy would want a no sex + non sexual relationship but he'll do it for me, now it's okie to no sex but not non sexual. when i explained to him my reasons for abstinence n why i was a lil mindful of his past he told me i should hav told him earlier n prevent him from falling for me. how did he not hav a clue? when he knew shortly after we started going out that i did not even give my first kiss to my ex-bf?
to me i've alr given a lot to him, to him it's not enough. if he doesnt value chastity at all then why did he even bother to ask if he's the first one i kissed etc? n to think he once said that my ex shouldnt b upset that he hadnt got a kiss from me. wat a joke. isnt it contradicting? wat is he thinking really?
is chastity still valued in today's society? just curious to know ppl's opinions, but regardless of what they r i'll still stick to my principle of abstinence from sex before marriage as i think it's the best for me, at least for wat i could think of this moment in time.
Let me encourage you not to be so subjected to what the masses feels about chastity or how the society depict sex before marriage.
In fact, to me, it's neither good nor evil - it's a matter of choice.
The reasoning is simple - abstinence does not guarantee a successful relationship.
I think we have to come to a mutual understanding that everybody is different. There will be people supporting the notion of abstinence and people who don't.
Eventually, it's not about chastity; it's about compatibility, perception and definition of love.
That's the REAL underlying issue.
I am sure you hear people saying that if you engage in pre-marital sex, your guy would dump you after he gets tired of you.
The question is - Is it really because of pre-marital sex? Or is it because of the man himself?
It's easy to attribute blame to pre-marital sex, and referring to the above case, the rot is likely the man himself. When you foolishly accept a man who doesn't share the same sort of frequency in those definitions, surely, you will face issue like this. Then you face issues like this, either one of you have to compromise or your relationship would probably sink into turmoil.
Would you learn to accept his ideology or should he learn to respect his woman?
Cheers
I practise abstinence cos i believe in preserving my sexual purity for my spouse yet he finds it moral crap. mayb cos he's done it before, he says he doesnt bother bout his girl's past and the "chaste n innocent" girl doesnt appeal to him yet asked me at times whether i had done this done that before with other guys. barely a month ago he said no guy would want a no sex + non sexual relationship but he'll do it for me, now it's okie to no sex but not non sexual. when i explained to him my reasons for abstinence n why i was a lil mindful of his past he told me i should hav told him earlier n prevent him from falling for me. how did he not hav a clue? when he knew shortly after we started going out that i did not even give my first kiss to my ex-bf?
to me i've alr given a lot to him, to him it's not enough. if he doesnt value chastity at all then why did he even bother to ask if he's the first one i kissed etc? n to think he once said that my ex shouldnt b upset that he hadnt got a kiss from me. wat a joke. isnt it contradicting? wat is he thinking really?
is chastity still valued in today's society? just curious to know ppl's opinions, but regardless of what they r i'll still stick to my principle of abstinence from sex before marriage as i think it's the best for me, at least for wat i could think of this moment in time.
Let me encourage you not to be so subjected to what the masses feels about chastity or how the society depict sex before marriage.
In fact, to me, it's neither good nor evil - it's a matter of choice.
The reasoning is simple - abstinence does not guarantee a successful relationship.
I think we have to come to a mutual understanding that everybody is different. There will be people supporting the notion of abstinence and people who don't.
Eventually, it's not about chastity; it's about compatibility, perception and definition of love.
That's the REAL underlying issue.
I am sure you hear people saying that if you engage in pre-marital sex, your guy would dump you after he gets tired of you.
The question is - Is it really because of pre-marital sex? Or is it because of the man himself?
It's easy to attribute blame to pre-marital sex, and referring to the above case, the rot is likely the man himself. When you foolishly accept a man who doesn't share the same sort of frequency in those definitions, surely, you will face issue like this. Then you face issues like this, either one of you have to compromise or your relationship would probably sink into turmoil.
Would you learn to accept his ideology or should he learn to respect his woman?
Cheers
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Aunt Agony II 200207
Originally posted by oorey:
Recently, my best friend got married and I was his 'brother' during the wedding. In his wedding, I got to know the 'sister' of his wife. She was her best friend too. Both of us were attached during then and we both knew each other were attached. Yet despite this known fact, I started to pursue her and she reciprocated.
Thing blossomed between us and very soon, we started to feel for each other. Subsequently we broke up with our partners and got together on valentine's day. It wasn't exactly each other that led to our break ups, but we are definitely part of the reasons.
I have had 5 relationship in the past, and 27 years of age. I have never been much of a feeling person; in fact, I am almost cold blooded. Everything I do always comes with logic and decided via cost benefit analysis. Even if it comes to relationship. In short, I never really felt anything for anyone before. An 'asshole' I may be and I don't deny it.
However, ever since I met her, I began to feel different things. Never in my life had I felt so happy with someone and never had I felt so strong for someone. Both of us, were in the final stages of our relationship. I had applied for a HDB and she had an exec condo. Both our break ups has resulted in very complicated situations.
While i have known her only for 2 month plus, I have already decided to lose my option fee for the HDB and to support the condo with her. I earn enough to do that of course.
Thing were going very well for the past couple of days until her best friend, i.e. my best friend's wife, had a talked with her. Her best friend had felt that our relationship was a rush and urged her to reconsider. It was felt that I am a flirtatious person and would only harm her instead. All in all, our relationship was disapproved by her best friend.
Although she feels otherwise from her best friend, she really treasures the friendship and what her best friend feels matters a lot to her. She has been confused and also dejected being stuck in between me and her best friend.
Being unable to see her so depressed, I gave in. I told her to take her best friend advice and to reconsider our relationship. But this obviously made me felt terrible. So terrible that I have never felt anything like this before. Now I begin to think whether I have made the right choice and what should I do next.
Until now, I still cannot believe that I am actually in this situation. I have never expected it. I wonder why.
This is a very interesting case because things just happened, applying to both. I must say that eventually, both of you exhibited the same set of vulnerabilities and cracks, in which the negative trait attracted one another on higher subconscious level and coupled with haste, it brought about such huge drastic changes to your love relationship.
It's like making bold decision/s that would probably shock the entire world, but you seemed to know what you are doing.
We attract the qualities we exude - CloUdiSm.
Chances are, there are dissatisfaction in both relationship, creating a suppressed desire to liberalize your current status quo, probably the result of the then-nature of both now-defunct relationship. I can't say that this feeling you are having will withstand the test of time because it's still too early to stamp promise. (Of course if this is largely Uranus-influenced, it will probably not sustain).
If her appearance in your life could easily destroy your then-relationship, it probably revealed that the relationship, in the first place, doesn't hold much value. Looking from higher altitude - I would say that her appearance in your life is likely a reflection of your then-inane-relationship, suggesting to you - not because she is The One - but because your then-relationship is probably is already journey in trouble waters to Hades, in which why you two would readily accept each other, despite being attached to different partners separately.
Her presence acts as a catalysis to show you the discontentment and dissatisfaction you had in your then-relationship.
If I put one spoilt orange with another that is decaying - in comparison, the spoilt orange may appear a better choice to you, but not necessarily a better choice when you consumed it.
Think about it.
Cheers
Recently, my best friend got married and I was his 'brother' during the wedding. In his wedding, I got to know the 'sister' of his wife. She was her best friend too. Both of us were attached during then and we both knew each other were attached. Yet despite this known fact, I started to pursue her and she reciprocated.
Thing blossomed between us and very soon, we started to feel for each other. Subsequently we broke up with our partners and got together on valentine's day. It wasn't exactly each other that led to our break ups, but we are definitely part of the reasons.
I have had 5 relationship in the past, and 27 years of age. I have never been much of a feeling person; in fact, I am almost cold blooded. Everything I do always comes with logic and decided via cost benefit analysis. Even if it comes to relationship. In short, I never really felt anything for anyone before. An 'asshole' I may be and I don't deny it.
However, ever since I met her, I began to feel different things. Never in my life had I felt so happy with someone and never had I felt so strong for someone. Both of us, were in the final stages of our relationship. I had applied for a HDB and she had an exec condo. Both our break ups has resulted in very complicated situations.
While i have known her only for 2 month plus, I have already decided to lose my option fee for the HDB and to support the condo with her. I earn enough to do that of course.
Thing were going very well for the past couple of days until her best friend, i.e. my best friend's wife, had a talked with her. Her best friend had felt that our relationship was a rush and urged her to reconsider. It was felt that I am a flirtatious person and would only harm her instead. All in all, our relationship was disapproved by her best friend.
Although she feels otherwise from her best friend, she really treasures the friendship and what her best friend feels matters a lot to her. She has been confused and also dejected being stuck in between me and her best friend.
Being unable to see her so depressed, I gave in. I told her to take her best friend advice and to reconsider our relationship. But this obviously made me felt terrible. So terrible that I have never felt anything like this before. Now I begin to think whether I have made the right choice and what should I do next.
Until now, I still cannot believe that I am actually in this situation. I have never expected it. I wonder why.
This is a very interesting case because things just happened, applying to both. I must say that eventually, both of you exhibited the same set of vulnerabilities and cracks, in which the negative trait attracted one another on higher subconscious level and coupled with haste, it brought about such huge drastic changes to your love relationship.
It's like making bold decision/s that would probably shock the entire world, but you seemed to know what you are doing.
We attract the qualities we exude - CloUdiSm.
Chances are, there are dissatisfaction in both relationship, creating a suppressed desire to liberalize your current status quo, probably the result of the then-nature of both now-defunct relationship. I can't say that this feeling you are having will withstand the test of time because it's still too early to stamp promise. (Of course if this is largely Uranus-influenced, it will probably not sustain).
If her appearance in your life could easily destroy your then-relationship, it probably revealed that the relationship, in the first place, doesn't hold much value. Looking from higher altitude - I would say that her appearance in your life is likely a reflection of your then-inane-relationship, suggesting to you - not because she is The One - but because your then-relationship is probably is already journey in trouble waters to Hades, in which why you two would readily accept each other, despite being attached to different partners separately.
Her presence acts as a catalysis to show you the discontentment and dissatisfaction you had in your then-relationship.
If I put one spoilt orange with another that is decaying - in comparison, the spoilt orange may appear a better choice to you, but not necessarily a better choice when you consumed it.
Think about it.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 200207
Originally posted by altzspec:
Hi Aunt Agony,
I know of a lady on the internet.
This lady I liked her very much, and have slaved for her.
I gave her all my savings.
Finally one day, I realised I shouldn't have done so.
And return to my senses.
I feel very down right now.
I have wasted 2 years of my hard earned money on a lady who there is no love.
Just want to say this to everyone.
A lady will never repay back every single cent, and this world is free to them.
Guy need to always watch out for ladies who drain bf of money to buy gifts for them.
No I lose in the race to win her heart.
And we dont have sex.
I have given her the following:
1) $10,000 for a car deposit
2) $8000 for a earring
3) $1100 per month
4) $300 for christmas present
5) $3000 for her fitness trainer
6) unaccountable amt of money
7) My ATM Cards for her to burn.
7) Hard work to build her online website so that she can stay at home and don do work
Don't be like me. I am a loser.
rgds
rayboi
I sensed a soul longing for love and being exploited as a result.
The result of exploitation doesn't come from love; it comes from your desire.
I could sense that you are driven by loneliness to make a love attempt, when you first communicated with her on the internet.
It appears like an opportunity to greater opportunities.
It seemed like a dream come true... to be able to catch those glimpse of hope, spelling out huge potential of a dream relationship.
The cosmic nature of love and our personal karmic debts are almighty - it spares no one, even if you are verdant in love.
The lessons are costly, but should you not grow from your mistake and patch your emotional glitches, mark my words: you will continue to suffer in future relationship with woman, with similar reiterated lessons.
P.S: You need higher learning in love. I hope you understand what went wrong and not label yourself as loser and continue to live in that brand.
Cheers
Hi Aunt Agony,
I know of a lady on the internet.
This lady I liked her very much, and have slaved for her.
I gave her all my savings.
Finally one day, I realised I shouldn't have done so.
And return to my senses.
I feel very down right now.
I have wasted 2 years of my hard earned money on a lady who there is no love.
Just want to say this to everyone.
A lady will never repay back every single cent, and this world is free to them.
Guy need to always watch out for ladies who drain bf of money to buy gifts for them.
No I lose in the race to win her heart.
And we dont have sex.
I have given her the following:
1) $10,000 for a car deposit
2) $8000 for a earring
3) $1100 per month
4) $300 for christmas present
5) $3000 for her fitness trainer
6) unaccountable amt of money
7) My ATM Cards for her to burn.
7) Hard work to build her online website so that she can stay at home and don do work
Don't be like me. I am a loser.
rgds
rayboi
I sensed a soul longing for love and being exploited as a result.
The result of exploitation doesn't come from love; it comes from your desire.
I could sense that you are driven by loneliness to make a love attempt, when you first communicated with her on the internet.
It appears like an opportunity to greater opportunities.
It seemed like a dream come true... to be able to catch those glimpse of hope, spelling out huge potential of a dream relationship.
The cosmic nature of love and our personal karmic debts are almighty - it spares no one, even if you are verdant in love.
The lessons are costly, but should you not grow from your mistake and patch your emotional glitches, mark my words: you will continue to suffer in future relationship with woman, with similar reiterated lessons.
P.S: You need higher learning in love. I hope you understand what went wrong and not label yourself as loser and continue to live in that brand.
Cheers
Monday, February 19, 2007
My New Job of One Week
This has been the most incredible one week journey ever - the uncanny accurate prophesy of Mr Daniel Tai.
'Hey Mark, if you work there one week not happy, you can always come back...'
That was what he said to me before I left SPH.
And that was what it happened... literally.
It was a job from hell.
And that was an understatement.
It suffered an entire one week ordeal and no, it wasn't due to hard work. As I am typing this post, I had just completed a fifteen and half hours of work (kinda reminded me of FDS RP days) on Thursday. Mind you, this is only my fourth day at work. I originally thought it was the peak period.
No it wasn't.
Next I thought it could probably be because I was new and there was much to learn.
No, it was only part of the tale.
Don't get me wrong, I am not daunted by those difficult presences - however, there is this quiet resentment that fueled my decision to get the shit out of there as it dawned on me that the bosses I am working under indulged itself in deception, verbal abuses, pay-deduction threats, profanities, personal grudges, cheating, immoral attitude, zero ethics, pettiness, childishness and most importantly, exploitation at the most inhumane level. I have run out of adjectives to slander the firm, but this experience taught me a very important lesson in life - don't ever fight for a lost cause.
I remembered Guiding Star was a lost cause, but at least, I had never regretted my decision, unlike this time round. The experience in GS is somewhat like an expensive movie ticket that is probably better off purchasing on pirated VCD and this job is like paying for a damn bloody boring movie and ended up sleeping. Really waste time waste money.
I guess I have learnt it well from the course of my life to make this a good, hasty decision. If it was me previously, I would have been dumb enough to linger longer.
During my interview, my lady boss blatantly lied under her nose. It was probably that of those classic cases where the 'management' weaved an incredible story to induce the so called naive young adults - who have yet to seen the much of this multi-facet society or the precarious corporate world - into working for them and exploit intensively.
I was told that the job was 0830 - 1730 (standard 8 hours work and 1 hour lunch break) with alternate Saturday off. It was also mentioned that if I wanted to further my studies, it is probably the job for me as the timing is good for night classes.
The truth is: I was expected to start work before 0830 (I start about 0820) and my upper study told me to fork out 12 - 14 hours everyday, as she has worked her ass off everyday until 2030 - 2230. And yes! That was just a freaking normal day and by sheer logics of it, the timing is simply impossible for any form of part time study. To my horror, there was three freaking months she had to worked from 0830 to 0000 - 0030. And There was no alternate Saturday off - it was a working day for ALL Saturday.
No OT.
No taxi claims.
No MC claims.
And to further disgust me, I was told by my colleagues that in this company, they are into this practice: mistakes MADE my employees were told to compensate the company.
OMFG! My upper study shared a case where a group of people each paid $770 because of some arrangement mistake. Being new to the company has no mitigating effect of the sentence and there is no second chance.
You mean any cost is bore by the employee and any profit are kept by the company? This is fucking ridiculous - reminded me of pre-Singapore independence era where the coolies are exploited in similar sense by Chinese company.
And the lunch break is merely a pseudo-break; everybody is expected to lunch-in (lunch is bought by temp staff - a young bubbly girl whose parents is actually the owner of the very famous bak chor mee of Bedok Blk 85) and lunch, in reality, is nothing more than 10-15 minutes.
I seriously wondered if there's any breach of the Employer's Act and if I was pissed enough to stay longer, I will probably contact MOM with regards to this matter.
In retrospect, the 'one big family' image of SPH etched into my mind everyday when I felt the exploitation there. Peter's management style spoilt me deeply because now that I have gotten used to his leadership, it would be hellva difficult to find another boss of his caliber. In fact, if he's the benchmark for 10/10, my current bosses would fall under a dismay 3.5/10 (I am being pretty objective here, thus I am not giving a flat zero).
Pathetic because they cannot earn my respect. I had to address my boss as Mr Soh and was cautioned not to address by his name. Wtf sia? My ex-boss from SPH is a freaking VICE PRESIDENT OF SPH BRANDING AND PROMOTION, which is like how many freaking times more powerful than he is and everybody addressed him by Pete. Even the young ones (IN-Crowders) calls him by his name... zzz
I swore I will think twice about small nepotism/family business.
P.S: Will upload memories of SPH when I get back my CPU from Wood Doctor.
Cheers
'Hey Mark, if you work there one week not happy, you can always come back...'
That was what he said to me before I left SPH.
And that was what it happened... literally.
It was a job from hell.
And that was an understatement.
It suffered an entire one week ordeal and no, it wasn't due to hard work. As I am typing this post, I had just completed a fifteen and half hours of work (kinda reminded me of FDS RP days) on Thursday. Mind you, this is only my fourth day at work. I originally thought it was the peak period.
No it wasn't.
Next I thought it could probably be because I was new and there was much to learn.
No, it was only part of the tale.
Don't get me wrong, I am not daunted by those difficult presences - however, there is this quiet resentment that fueled my decision to get the shit out of there as it dawned on me that the bosses I am working under indulged itself in deception, verbal abuses, pay-deduction threats, profanities, personal grudges, cheating, immoral attitude, zero ethics, pettiness, childishness and most importantly, exploitation at the most inhumane level. I have run out of adjectives to slander the firm, but this experience taught me a very important lesson in life - don't ever fight for a lost cause.
I remembered Guiding Star was a lost cause, but at least, I had never regretted my decision, unlike this time round. The experience in GS is somewhat like an expensive movie ticket that is probably better off purchasing on pirated VCD and this job is like paying for a damn bloody boring movie and ended up sleeping. Really waste time waste money.
I guess I have learnt it well from the course of my life to make this a good, hasty decision. If it was me previously, I would have been dumb enough to linger longer.
During my interview, my lady boss blatantly lied under her nose. It was probably that of those classic cases where the 'management' weaved an incredible story to induce the so called naive young adults - who have yet to seen the much of this multi-facet society or the precarious corporate world - into working for them and exploit intensively.
I was told that the job was 0830 - 1730 (standard 8 hours work and 1 hour lunch break) with alternate Saturday off. It was also mentioned that if I wanted to further my studies, it is probably the job for me as the timing is good for night classes.
The truth is: I was expected to start work before 0830 (I start about 0820) and my upper study told me to fork out 12 - 14 hours everyday, as she has worked her ass off everyday until 2030 - 2230. And yes! That was just a freaking normal day and by sheer logics of it, the timing is simply impossible for any form of part time study. To my horror, there was three freaking months she had to worked from 0830 to 0000 - 0030. And There was no alternate Saturday off - it was a working day for ALL Saturday.
No OT.
No taxi claims.
No MC claims.
And to further disgust me, I was told by my colleagues that in this company, they are into this practice: mistakes MADE my employees were told to compensate the company.
OMFG! My upper study shared a case where a group of people each paid $770 because of some arrangement mistake. Being new to the company has no mitigating effect of the sentence and there is no second chance.
You mean any cost is bore by the employee and any profit are kept by the company? This is fucking ridiculous - reminded me of pre-Singapore independence era where the coolies are exploited in similar sense by Chinese company.
And the lunch break is merely a pseudo-break; everybody is expected to lunch-in (lunch is bought by temp staff - a young bubbly girl whose parents is actually the owner of the very famous bak chor mee of Bedok Blk 85) and lunch, in reality, is nothing more than 10-15 minutes.
I seriously wondered if there's any breach of the Employer's Act and if I was pissed enough to stay longer, I will probably contact MOM with regards to this matter.
In retrospect, the 'one big family' image of SPH etched into my mind everyday when I felt the exploitation there. Peter's management style spoilt me deeply because now that I have gotten used to his leadership, it would be hellva difficult to find another boss of his caliber. In fact, if he's the benchmark for 10/10, my current bosses would fall under a dismay 3.5/10 (I am being pretty objective here, thus I am not giving a flat zero).
Pathetic because they cannot earn my respect. I had to address my boss as Mr Soh and was cautioned not to address by his name. Wtf sia? My ex-boss from SPH is a freaking VICE PRESIDENT OF SPH BRANDING AND PROMOTION, which is like how many freaking times more powerful than he is and everybody addressed him by Pete. Even the young ones (IN-Crowders) calls him by his name... zzz
I swore I will think twice about small nepotism/family business.
Now is back to job hunting.
P.S: Will upload memories of SPH when I get back my CPU from Wood Doctor.
Cheers
Friday, February 16, 2007
My Valentine
Went to Tony Roma to have some quiet dinner during the overhyped and increasingly commercialised Valentine's Day with mousy. I was overwhelmed by my ridiculous job, completely wiped out all motes of energy and sapping every bits of spirit in me.
It was so bad - that I can't even settle myself emotionally to have a proper meal.
I was so afraid that I wasn't able to even have that simple dinner with her, but praise the lord, my worries are unfounded.
It was just a simple dinner.... no fanciful tokens nor presentation.
It was beautifully simplistic.
I needed to talk.
She was there.
And I needed that conversation and quiet time.
This innate spirit of the relationship was so magical that all I need was her presence.
I realized that was what kept me going, which was why all the difficulties I had endure with this deceptive company fell off me like snows on a slanted rooftop.
'...Everyday is a Valentine's Day...'
That was what she said as she chased me up the flight of stairs... going back home.
我会永远的这样爱着你. ^_^
It was so bad - that I can't even settle myself emotionally to have a proper meal.
I was so afraid that I wasn't able to even have that simple dinner with her, but praise the lord, my worries are unfounded.
It was just a simple dinner.... no fanciful tokens nor presentation.
It was beautifully simplistic.
I needed to talk.
She was there.
And I needed that conversation and quiet time.
This innate spirit of the relationship was so magical that all I need was her presence.
I realized that was what kept me going, which was why all the difficulties I had endure with this deceptive company fell off me like snows on a slanted rooftop.
'...Everyday is a Valentine's Day...'
That was what she said as she chased me up the flight of stairs... going back home.
我会永远的这样爱着你. ^_^
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Aunt Agony III 110207
Originally posted by James1:
Though I had been with my gf for about 4 months, and I was struggling to forget about her past, she told me that she and her ex had did uncountable times of heavy petting or sex at her place, what I mean uncountable was like 3 to 4 times weekly without failed and you know as a bf of hers, I felt I was having an 2nd hand stuff, you guys get what I mean? How to forgo her history? Had any one of you had the smiliar situation as me? Thanks in advance...
I always believed that such knowledge are best kept private - really wonder why would she tell you. And if you cannot take such truth at face value, you should also avoid asking, if that's where the conversation led... to the truth of her past.
You dated her, being oblivion to her past, and fell in love. Now that you knew her a little more, you felt like you are being compromised. When love juxtaposed chastity, it seemed that a piece of membrane has more consideration than love itself.
If you cannot look beyond the subject of virginity, then I guess your love is probably worth just as much.
And if you decide to treat her any lesser than before, I suggest you give this relationship up because with such narrow mindset, it will likely to haunt you forever. Although you have the right to desire a virgin mate if you are one yourself (otherwise you are just another hypocritical, typical-MCP guy), I think it's also fair for her to want a man who appreciate her for who she really is and love her as a complete entity and not selective in nature.
Cheers
Though I had been with my gf for about 4 months, and I was struggling to forget about her past, she told me that she and her ex had did uncountable times of heavy petting or sex at her place, what I mean uncountable was like 3 to 4 times weekly without failed and you know as a bf of hers, I felt I was having an 2nd hand stuff, you guys get what I mean? How to forgo her history? Had any one of you had the smiliar situation as me? Thanks in advance...
I always believed that such knowledge are best kept private - really wonder why would she tell you. And if you cannot take such truth at face value, you should also avoid asking, if that's where the conversation led... to the truth of her past.
You dated her, being oblivion to her past, and fell in love. Now that you knew her a little more, you felt like you are being compromised. When love juxtaposed chastity, it seemed that a piece of membrane has more consideration than love itself.
If you cannot look beyond the subject of virginity, then I guess your love is probably worth just as much.
And if you decide to treat her any lesser than before, I suggest you give this relationship up because with such narrow mindset, it will likely to haunt you forever. Although you have the right to desire a virgin mate if you are one yourself (otherwise you are just another hypocritical, typical-MCP guy), I think it's also fair for her to want a man who appreciate her for who she really is and love her as a complete entity and not selective in nature.
Cheers
Aunt Agony II 110207
Originally posted by jacqn:
my gal friend is going to get married.. Recently her close friend actually confessed to her he really like her.. he doesnt mind being her part time bf. he actually asked her to accept him as one! she is shocked of course, but deep down inside, i knew they have been closer than just friends. How should i advise her?
He's probably the kind of man with a 'vulture mindset' - doesn't want to get downright dirty insofar as to break her present relationship directly, preferring to wait for her relationship to crumble (equipped with the typical thinking that most BGR 'wouldn't last' type of perception).
Now that he realized he has lost the bet, he became desperate. And being desperate means he's willing to risk his foot by wedging it in between the 'closing door'... before she gets married.
His idea of a part time boyfriend suggested to me that very likely, he's keen on a non-committed sexual relationship, because even if he's emotionally depended on her, usually, that doesn't spark off the idea of a part time boyfriend in that context. A close friendship (platonic) would do just as well.
Why would her close guy friend make such a request? I supposed within their dubious friendship... she has probably suggested to him something, in which he has gotten the idea that your gal friend is probably into such sub rosa relationship.
I think the answer is pretty straightforward - if she is even having difficulty making a decision, I think she is not ready for marriage... emotionally.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 110207
Originally posted by sggirl07:
Recently, my boyfriend's separated wife, who is of cohesive terms with him, came to singapore with their son (she is a hongkonger), and obviously, they stayed over at their matrimonial home.
being sensitive to the feelings of his wife and their son, of course we do not meet up often. maybe only once a week.
last night, he told me that he will be going for a traditional family CNY trip with his family, and his wife and their son will be going too. to make my heart sink further, i was told that her family will be joining his family in the trip. her mother has contracted terminal diseases, and this is her last trip, he says. and asked me if that is ok. asking me about something that is goin to stay, and is not goin to change? wat was i supposed to say? i kept quiet.
I am really disturbed by this. and confused too.
Where is the line? Am i being over sensitive or is he just being insensitive? :(
I supposed it's not a matter of what you could have done or what choice you could have made that could possibly salvage your situation. Frankly speaking, this man spells doubts in bold print to me - I don't understand why people are claiming him as 'honest', when in fact he's actually playing the 'honest wildcard' as a calculated resort when he's left with no choice.
In fact, he has actually deceived her.
Originally posted by sggirl07:
i knew him for 3 months before we were tog. during the first two dates, i asked him specifically if he was married, he said he is divorced. asked him if he had kids, he said no.
Your case reminded me of the frog theory of karmic relationship thesis I wrote in CloUdiSm - When you heat a pot of water till boiling point and throw a frog in it, it will leap out instantaneously. Interestingly, when you put the frog in the pot of water and gradually heat the pot of water, the frog will not escape and instead, allowed itself to be boiled to death.
Originally posted by sggirl07:
...Where is the line? when is it that i can start saying i am not ok?
i only knew about his wife and seperation after we were together. i said i was ok.
he wife came back with son, and they staying under one roof,
i have to say i am ok.
we cant meet up often (max once a week), and i have to say i am ok.
and now they are goin away for CNY, for an overseas trip, with both sides family, can i be not ok now?
This phenomenon is found on you, as quoted by the paragraph you have posted above.
***
Personally, I cannot condone deception on any level, especially when it's proven to be false later on. I think you have contributed a portion of your own plight by suppressing your voice and emotions. It's obvious that he wants to seek out a best of both world solution for himself and because you are able to accept, however reluctant you are, by remaining silence, the advantage goes to his 'separated wife'.
Understanding this, I will talk about the moral conflicts appearing in your case:
Yunhaier believes that Love and Moral has little connection between them. One might argue that it's only morally right to allow him to go on a CNY trip because someone is dying in the house (which could possibly be a lie... nobody really knows) or even put you out of the picture when his son becomes part of the equation.
When you want to love someone, I say hell with external consideration that adds 'no value' to your relationship. Meaning, you do NOT have to put up with considerations that degenerates your overall well being and serve no greater purpose in your relationship - it becomes a choice when you decide to endure, therefore you face the consequence of your choice. Perhaps, it would be the best if you are accepting towards this issue. But if you are unable to, it would be even wiser to cut your loses now before you truly burned out. I hope you do understand that your love is NO way a simple/conventional sort of relationship - it is fraught with difficulties and challenges that promises emotional hardship and torrent of tears. I agree with ChocoB - if you are unable to picture this, then this relationship is probably not for you.
Cheers
Recently, my boyfriend's separated wife, who is of cohesive terms with him, came to singapore with their son (she is a hongkonger), and obviously, they stayed over at their matrimonial home.
being sensitive to the feelings of his wife and their son, of course we do not meet up often. maybe only once a week.
last night, he told me that he will be going for a traditional family CNY trip with his family, and his wife and their son will be going too. to make my heart sink further, i was told that her family will be joining his family in the trip. her mother has contracted terminal diseases, and this is her last trip, he says. and asked me if that is ok. asking me about something that is goin to stay, and is not goin to change? wat was i supposed to say? i kept quiet.
I am really disturbed by this. and confused too.
Where is the line? Am i being over sensitive or is he just being insensitive? :(
I supposed it's not a matter of what you could have done or what choice you could have made that could possibly salvage your situation. Frankly speaking, this man spells doubts in bold print to me - I don't understand why people are claiming him as 'honest', when in fact he's actually playing the 'honest wildcard' as a calculated resort when he's left with no choice.
In fact, he has actually deceived her.
Originally posted by sggirl07:
i knew him for 3 months before we were tog. during the first two dates, i asked him specifically if he was married, he said he is divorced. asked him if he had kids, he said no.
Your case reminded me of the frog theory of karmic relationship thesis I wrote in CloUdiSm - When you heat a pot of water till boiling point and throw a frog in it, it will leap out instantaneously. Interestingly, when you put the frog in the pot of water and gradually heat the pot of water, the frog will not escape and instead, allowed itself to be boiled to death.
Originally posted by sggirl07:
...Where is the line? when is it that i can start saying i am not ok?
i only knew about his wife and seperation after we were together. i said i was ok.
he wife came back with son, and they staying under one roof,
i have to say i am ok.
we cant meet up often (max once a week), and i have to say i am ok.
and now they are goin away for CNY, for an overseas trip, with both sides family, can i be not ok now?
This phenomenon is found on you, as quoted by the paragraph you have posted above.
***
Personally, I cannot condone deception on any level, especially when it's proven to be false later on. I think you have contributed a portion of your own plight by suppressing your voice and emotions. It's obvious that he wants to seek out a best of both world solution for himself and because you are able to accept, however reluctant you are, by remaining silence, the advantage goes to his 'separated wife'.
Understanding this, I will talk about the moral conflicts appearing in your case:
Yunhaier believes that Love and Moral has little connection between them. One might argue that it's only morally right to allow him to go on a CNY trip because someone is dying in the house (which could possibly be a lie... nobody really knows) or even put you out of the picture when his son becomes part of the equation.
When you want to love someone, I say hell with external consideration that adds 'no value' to your relationship. Meaning, you do NOT have to put up with considerations that degenerates your overall well being and serve no greater purpose in your relationship - it becomes a choice when you decide to endure, therefore you face the consequence of your choice. Perhaps, it would be the best if you are accepting towards this issue. But if you are unable to, it would be even wiser to cut your loses now before you truly burned out. I hope you do understand that your love is NO way a simple/conventional sort of relationship - it is fraught with difficulties and challenges that promises emotional hardship and torrent of tears. I agree with ChocoB - if you are unable to picture this, then this relationship is probably not for you.
Cheers
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Aunt Agony 040207
Originally posted by nightlord24:
one of my female friend told me that she saw quite a few examples in her office.
eg. When a couple is working in the same office and is attached for many years but after they break up the girl immediately get attached to a more senior and financially stronger guy in the same office and gets marry in a few months or so.
And now she said she believes in picking a financially stronger guy over a less financially fit guy even though last time she believes in true love.
Is rich guy better than poor guy? Is this true??? :?:
ladies! does that means guys who were poor/borned in poor family are less attactive than rich/borned in rich family guys??? if this is not true how can i change my friend's point of view??? :?:
im borned in a poor family and is still a student after so many years, does that mean im the worst type of guys out there??? :?:
People often exaggerate wealth's role in love; accounting the lack of wealth for their plight with regards to no luck in love - especially when a woman left her man for someone else whom the man thought to be 'superior' in status and financial standing.
Why can't it be that this man is a decent mate and he 'happens' to be wealthy? Why must man stereotype her reason of departure as wealth and NOT because of the love itself?
And even if that was proven to be true: why would you want to date someone who cannot accept you for who you are and constantly having that mercenary perception of what you are worth to her?
Guys... you mean you rather have that wealth and that woman, while unknown to you, she's merely putting tangible figures into her mind with regards to her relationship with you? Because I know men who blatantly know this truth, but they are happy with the exchange of sex and companionship, so it doesn't matter to them.
Are you one of these guys?
***
Don't be foolish if you allow this mindset to ruin your outlook in love. Yes... finance is important, but it doesn't mean that you got to earn a fringing 100k per annum before you can secure a decent mate. Finance is important, not because of cash itself, but because stable finance denotes quality of security (Especially appealing to Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn). And if the man works hard to harvest those wealth and not because of his family - it is devilishly charming to a woman as he portrays success.
I had this good friend who once dated a rich girl. The parents despise him, thinking that he's in a relationship with her because of the money (and at the point of time, he wasn't very well educated as well, although he has now completed his private diploma). There was once his girlfriend invited him back for family dinner, which includes her family and some relatives. Of course her parents weren't very happy because it was the gf's decision to ask him, not that of her parents. Sensing the hostility, at the dinner table, he stood up and stunned everyone with his speech (In Mandarin).
(Translation) 'Uncle... Auntie, I know I am not rich and neither am I very educated. But even if I was destined to remain poor all my life, I would never take a single cent from your family. And if I were to marry her in the future, I would support her with my own means and promise that she and the kids would have three meals and a roof over her head... even if it means I must go hungry and have none myself.'
Everyone was shocked and his gf cried. Her uncle stood up, raise his beer and shout 'Hao! (Good in Mandarin), before telling him that he fancied his personality. Later he wanted my friend to work for him (they are doing construction business), but my friend rejected his kindness - telling him that he wants to depend on himself to make it big, not because of connection or her family influence.
Love transformed him into a man of character; is it the same for you? Or would you rather blame it on wealth and all the other mundane issues and live with such a mindset for your entire life?
Cheers
one of my female friend told me that she saw quite a few examples in her office.
eg. When a couple is working in the same office and is attached for many years but after they break up the girl immediately get attached to a more senior and financially stronger guy in the same office and gets marry in a few months or so.
And now she said she believes in picking a financially stronger guy over a less financially fit guy even though last time she believes in true love.
Is rich guy better than poor guy? Is this true??? :?:
ladies! does that means guys who were poor/borned in poor family are less attactive than rich/borned in rich family guys??? if this is not true how can i change my friend's point of view??? :?:
im borned in a poor family and is still a student after so many years, does that mean im the worst type of guys out there??? :?:
People often exaggerate wealth's role in love; accounting the lack of wealth for their plight with regards to no luck in love - especially when a woman left her man for someone else whom the man thought to be 'superior' in status and financial standing.
Why can't it be that this man is a decent mate and he 'happens' to be wealthy? Why must man stereotype her reason of departure as wealth and NOT because of the love itself?
And even if that was proven to be true: why would you want to date someone who cannot accept you for who you are and constantly having that mercenary perception of what you are worth to her?
Guys... you mean you rather have that wealth and that woman, while unknown to you, she's merely putting tangible figures into her mind with regards to her relationship with you? Because I know men who blatantly know this truth, but they are happy with the exchange of sex and companionship, so it doesn't matter to them.
Are you one of these guys?
***
Don't be foolish if you allow this mindset to ruin your outlook in love. Yes... finance is important, but it doesn't mean that you got to earn a fringing 100k per annum before you can secure a decent mate. Finance is important, not because of cash itself, but because stable finance denotes quality of security (Especially appealing to Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn). And if the man works hard to harvest those wealth and not because of his family - it is devilishly charming to a woman as he portrays success.
I had this good friend who once dated a rich girl. The parents despise him, thinking that he's in a relationship with her because of the money (and at the point of time, he wasn't very well educated as well, although he has now completed his private diploma). There was once his girlfriend invited him back for family dinner, which includes her family and some relatives. Of course her parents weren't very happy because it was the gf's decision to ask him, not that of her parents. Sensing the hostility, at the dinner table, he stood up and stunned everyone with his speech (In Mandarin).
(Translation) 'Uncle... Auntie, I know I am not rich and neither am I very educated. But even if I was destined to remain poor all my life, I would never take a single cent from your family. And if I were to marry her in the future, I would support her with my own means and promise that she and the kids would have three meals and a roof over her head... even if it means I must go hungry and have none myself.'
Everyone was shocked and his gf cried. Her uncle stood up, raise his beer and shout 'Hao! (Good in Mandarin), before telling him that he fancied his personality. Later he wanted my friend to work for him (they are doing construction business), but my friend rejected his kindness - telling him that he wants to depend on himself to make it big, not because of connection or her family influence.
Love transformed him into a man of character; is it the same for you? Or would you rather blame it on wealth and all the other mundane issues and live with such a mindset for your entire life?
Cheers
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
