Aunt Agony 070606

Originally posted by social_misfit:
Absent for a few months from this forum. Now crawling back for advice after hitting a deadlock again.

I'm not ashamed to admit my love life is as barren as the desert but I'm making effort to change myself and get a life, though still not reaping any rewards from it yet.

I realised I was a no-life bum who would just stay home on weekends and work on weekdays. So I changed myself. I started to go out, be more worldly and be engaged in some activities such as hiking, watching movies and doing window shopping in shopping malls on weekends instead of sleeping at home or hiding behind the computer to surf the Net.

A couple of months back, I got to know a girl when we attended course together. She was shy, quiet and introverted and bespectacled, so looks more like a girl-next-door than a hot babe that everyone would queue up for. But she caught my attention. We got to know each other a little better and exchanged contact information.

I'm a shy guy and I would never had summon my guts to date someone out previously. But I don't know where I got my guts from and I dated her out. Since then, we have gone out for 3 times to catch movies and have meals alone after work. And I made it a point to see her home each time.

Once, she came over to my cubicle to say hello when she saw me there. And during a lunch organised by the company, she came over and stood next to me to talk to me when I stuck with my group of colleagues from my own project team. But then she never initiates any conversation over MSN if she sees me online and we've never talked for days. It was always me who initiates conversations and dates. But she was always obliging and cheery when I do.

She has not indicated she likes me. Yet I'm not sure if she's waiting for me to initiate something. So I'm in the gray area. I've dated her a couple of times and although I might not have "performed" well on our dates, I showed her the due respect and treated her well to the best of my ability.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm clueless, lost and at a deadend as to what to do next. It seems like I'm in a quagmire - neither advancing nor retreating but stuck at a point. I'm wondering if it is time that I should just do the ultimate and make clear to her about my feeling so that she can:

Reject me straightaway if she's not interested or already attached
Keep me on waiting list
Accept me


How? It has been 3 months...And I cannot be a irritating parasite to pester her to go out with me every week as well.


That's strange.

Why would you think that you are an irritating parasite pestering her to go out every week?

Why wouldn't you think that it is quality time spent with people (a.k.a friends) worth going out with? I mean if she accepts your dates, it goes to show that she relatively enjoys your company isn't it? You can't be going out with someone you are annoyed with, could you?

You are walking along the right direction. You could maintain status quo to deepen your spell or cast it if you think it is the right time to do so.

Since you have mentioned that you have evolved your lifestyle, learn to appreciate those new routes you have just begin.

Cheers