Originally posted by shining*star:
Is it true that people don't know how to treasure what they've got till they lost them?
My boyfriend and I have been together for the past 1 year plus. Honeymoon period has been over long ago, and for months, I have found myself engaging in quarrels with him almost every other day.
He used to be so sweet and gentle to me – whispering on the phone, caring about my wellbeing, bringing me home every single time we meet up etc.
But now, fourteen months down the road, he seems like a totally different person. He doesn’t respect me anymore. Scolding me vulgarities whenever he likes. Like ch**bye fcuker bitc* etc.
I really love him, and put a lot into this relationship. Friends tell me he is using me but somehow I just cannot bring myself to believe this. He borrows money from me all the time, now totalling up to more than $3k and he never ever returns them.
We come from very different background. I am quite educated, and my parents disapprove of our relationship actually. He is a very typical ah beng. So actually I am really not sure what the future holds for us. But as I've mentioned, I really love him and dote on him. Friends all tell me to stop wasting my time and to break up all that. But it is much easier said than done :cry:
What should I do? My ex boyfriend also treated me very badly, after months of debating with myself, I finally took the courage to break up with him. But he came back after all. I didnt want to patch, and he threatened suicide twice. Why this kinda things always happen to me de??
:( Please help!
Your inevitable exchange with such jerks is a result of your gnawing inferiority living unconsciously inside of you. You may appear (and probably is) to be verdant, raw and innocent in this game of Love, but that the unexplainable brush of fate with these jerks is largely due to your inherent nature of loving the melancholy side of love relationship.
Your style of writing and the outlook of your blog betrayed this very fact.
Your lived very much in this drudgery sea of delusion and that you are probably in love with the notion of Love, more than your lover.
Love to you also probably means certain degree of suffering.
[yunhaier's scribbling: Appeared like a Pisces with Mars severely debilitated in sign of Taurus, Cancer or Libra, with terribly afflicted Neptune. (CloUdiSm X AOS translate it to 70% Disappointed Dreamer and 30% The Novice).]
***
I think you need much tuning in your mindset towards Love because it seemed to me that you exist in a fantasy realm, where mutual love does not actually exist in that dimension.
You are very much in a one-player relationship, enduring nonsense from a lover, whose Love has long cease to exist.
You portray Love in a surreal manner, which blurs the vision of reality and idealism in Love. Like a child who has encountered a tainted evil, you scuttle back to your world of idealism and refusing to accept this certain truth - that your Love is but phantasmal of what your blinded heart wants you to believe.
Don't dwell on past memories to sacrifice your present and future prerogative of rudimentary respect, trust and Love. A fulfilling relationship NEVER loses them... even with the passing of time. I had to accentuate this: NEVER.
CloUdiSm states '... it is we who chose our partner, not the other way round...' If you are so easily deceived by flippant words and the jester mask that your suitor carries with him, then avoid loving such men. For your case, I rather you be protective of yourself and let them prove their worth in courtship, than having you being easily sway by the vagary promise of Love.
As for your current, decaying relationship - it's a matter of time before it ends. And the length of time depends on how much haste you took to gather courage and wisdom. IMHO, it is beyond redemption, beyond repair, and most importantly: beyond reasons on WHY it should survive anymore.
Cheers
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