Originally posted by twenty47:
my gf and me is walking towards our 10th month together and i am loving her as much as the 1st day we are together.
we chat almost everynight on msn since we started and i always try to make our conversation interesting, stress free, fun and always trying to be as accomodating/gentle to her as possible and always initiating topics so that we can chat about.
but recently, it seems we have a problem carrying on with our conversation. for example, when i tell her something that i've done today or something that i just saw, she gives me 1 word replies like, "orh", "ic", "ok" which is making it really tough for me to carry on talking. then we'll just remain quiet till i talk to her again about some other topics. recently, she just simply types "i go sleep le. nitez." and goes offline immediately without even giving me a chance to wish her goodnight which is a habit of mine. last time, it was always sweet and she will type things like "goodnight lao gong" and such.
is this normal between you and your partner? is it a sign saying that she sees it as the end of our honeymoon period? is it an indication that she is tired of me? all these questions are bothering me and i do hope the kind folks here will be able to give me some guidance. i treasure her but now i am in pain...
Causal communication is not a commitment.
You don't call and chat just because it seemed like a duty to do so.
It makes relationship seemed more like a liability than a natural flow.
What you are facing is the reality side of relationship - you won't find a couple chatting with one another everyday, for hours, without losing the reason to chat (even the most compatible couple with powerful mercury synastry will face planet retrograding at times).
You must hop your relationship to the next level - where you share mutual interest and hobbies, so has to facilitate causal conversation as well. Nothing beats doing something together - it will strengthen your bonds and introduce lifestyle integration.
Cheers
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
香港。。。我来了！！！
I AM FINALLY GOING HONGKONG!!!!!!!!
MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!
我来了！！！！
(Encode to Unicode - UTF-8 to read characters)
P.S: Yunhaier will close shop for one week... therefore, all Aunt Agony will cease till then. ^_-
Cheers
MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!
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我来了！！！！
(Encode to Unicode - UTF-8 to read characters)
P.S: Yunhaier will close shop for one week... therefore, all Aunt Agony will cease till then. ^_-
Cheers
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Aunt Agony 210606 (Reply to AA II 200606)
Originally posted by shining*star:
Yunhaier:
I guess the real problem is I cannot figure out why the love had "long ceased to exist"... From what I understand, you are saying I am deceiving myself. That few sentences scares me.
I feel so terrible. Have the urge to pick up the phone and msg him something. Been trying very hard not to. But the urge of knowing how he's doing and seeing me is so overwhelming. Why do I miss him? I know he treats me bad. But occassionally there are ok times. :cry:
The thing is do we have to figure out why love had long ceased to exist?
Why are we incarcerated to the myth that Love requires a reason to function and a reason to cease functioning?
You don't even know why would you be falling for guys like him, how would you expect yourself to understand the reason why he would devalue you?
You are pondering over a blackhole that leads to nowhere, my dear.
Delusion churned excuses and in turn, produce meekness in you.
What are 'ok times'... as you have so pitifully written? Shouldn't 'ok times' be a NORM instead of something wondrous?
You have invested far too much and your fear revolves partially around this failed investment that is causing you much liability to maintain. Whatever ray of hope you may delude yourself, thinking that everything will turn out well is like praying for a miracle for this liability to transform into assets - to restore your loses.
That's impossible – considering you can't even 'break-even'. It has become a sunk cost.
Cut your loses and learn what has gone wrong, instead of finding what's wrong while you bleed heavily.
Cheers
Yunhaier:
I guess the real problem is I cannot figure out why the love had "long ceased to exist"... From what I understand, you are saying I am deceiving myself. That few sentences scares me.
I feel so terrible. Have the urge to pick up the phone and msg him something. Been trying very hard not to. But the urge of knowing how he's doing and seeing me is so overwhelming. Why do I miss him? I know he treats me bad. But occassionally there are ok times. :cry:
The thing is do we have to figure out why love had long ceased to exist?
Why are we incarcerated to the myth that Love requires a reason to function and a reason to cease functioning?
You don't even know why would you be falling for guys like him, how would you expect yourself to understand the reason why he would devalue you?
You are pondering over a blackhole that leads to nowhere, my dear.
Delusion churned excuses and in turn, produce meekness in you.
What are 'ok times'... as you have so pitifully written? Shouldn't 'ok times' be a NORM instead of something wondrous?
You have invested far too much and your fear revolves partially around this failed investment that is causing you much liability to maintain. Whatever ray of hope you may delude yourself, thinking that everything will turn out well is like praying for a miracle for this liability to transform into assets - to restore your loses.
That's impossible – considering you can't even 'break-even'. It has become a sunk cost.
Cut your loses and learn what has gone wrong, instead of finding what's wrong while you bleed heavily.
Cheers
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Aunt Agony II 200606
Originally posted by shining*star:
Is it true that people don't know how to treasure what they've got till they lost them?
My boyfriend and I have been together for the past 1 year plus. Honeymoon period has been over long ago, and for months, I have found myself engaging in quarrels with him almost every other day.
He used to be so sweet and gentle to me – whispering on the phone, caring about my wellbeing, bringing me home every single time we meet up etc.
But now, fourteen months down the road, he seems like a totally different person. He doesn’t respect me anymore. Scolding me vulgarities whenever he likes. Like ch**bye fcuker bitc* etc.
I really love him, and put a lot into this relationship. Friends tell me he is using me but somehow I just cannot bring myself to believe this. He borrows money from me all the time, now totalling up to more than $3k and he never ever returns them.
We come from very different background. I am quite educated, and my parents disapprove of our relationship actually. He is a very typical ah beng. So actually I am really not sure what the future holds for us. But as I've mentioned, I really love him and dote on him. Friends all tell me to stop wasting my time and to break up all that. But it is much easier said than done :cry:
What should I do? My ex boyfriend also treated me very badly, after months of debating with myself, I finally took the courage to break up with him. But he came back after all. I didnt want to patch, and he threatened suicide twice. Why this kinda things always happen to me de??
:( Please help!
Your inevitable exchange with such jerks is a result of your gnawing inferiority living unconsciously inside of you. You may appear (and probably is) to be verdant, raw and innocent in this game of Love, but that the unexplainable brush of fate with these jerks is largely due to your inherent nature of loving the melancholy side of love relationship.
Your style of writing and the outlook of your blog betrayed this very fact.
Your lived very much in this drudgery sea of delusion and that you are probably in love with the notion of Love, more than your lover.
Love to you also probably means certain degree of suffering.
[yunhaier's scribbling: Appeared like a Pisces with Mars severely debilitated in sign of Taurus, Cancer or Libra, with terribly afflicted Neptune. (CloUdiSm X AOS translate it to 70% Disappointed Dreamer and 30% The Novice).]
***
I think you need much tuning in your mindset towards Love because it seemed to me that you exist in a fantasy realm, where mutual love does not actually exist in that dimension.
You are very much in a one-player relationship, enduring nonsense from a lover, whose Love has long cease to exist.
You portray Love in a surreal manner, which blurs the vision of reality and idealism in Love. Like a child who has encountered a tainted evil, you scuttle back to your world of idealism and refusing to accept this certain truth - that your Love is but phantasmal of what your blinded heart wants you to believe.
Don't dwell on past memories to sacrifice your present and future prerogative of rudimentary respect, trust and Love. A fulfilling relationship NEVER loses them... even with the passing of time. I had to accentuate this: NEVER.
CloUdiSm states '... it is we who chose our partner, not the other way round...' If you are so easily deceived by flippant words and the jester mask that your suitor carries with him, then avoid loving such men. For your case, I rather you be protective of yourself and let them prove their worth in courtship, than having you being easily sway by the vagary promise of Love.
As for your current, decaying relationship - it's a matter of time before it ends. And the length of time depends on how much haste you took to gather courage and wisdom. IMHO, it is beyond redemption, beyond repair, and most importantly: beyond reasons on WHY it should survive anymore.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 200606
Originally posted by misery=(:
Not troubled by anything. Just a perpetual thought of wondering if I would ever find my soulmate whom I can share my life with
Everyone desire a soul mate, but the question is: have you even attain 'enough enlightenment in love', so as to welcome the advent of your soul mate?
A soul mate won't and can't just barge into your life just because there seemed to be a missing puzzle within.
A soul mate does not fill voids - instead, it enriches and complements our life.
If there are existing afflictions of mindset in Love, then how can one expect a soul mate to grant entry into one's life? Who knows... there may be a remote possibility that our soul mate had came and left, forever, because our love wisdom is inadequate.
Who are we to blame for our lack of self understanding and our unevolved cosmic lessons of Love?
Reality and fate is cruel, for our time to learn is severely limited.
As a result, we experience myriad of failures and rejections.
The ironic thing is that we don't necessary learn more from our failure; there are times we resist learning, growing and evolving, much more for certain group of people.
Then who's to blame if we are always having unfulfilling relationship?
P.S: Understand the definition of what Love means to you, then having to long for a perfect/soul mate to explain the definition of Love.
Cheers
Not troubled by anything. Just a perpetual thought of wondering if I would ever find my soulmate whom I can share my life with
Everyone desire a soul mate, but the question is: have you even attain 'enough enlightenment in love', so as to welcome the advent of your soul mate?
A soul mate won't and can't just barge into your life just because there seemed to be a missing puzzle within.
A soul mate does not fill voids - instead, it enriches and complements our life.
If there are existing afflictions of mindset in Love, then how can one expect a soul mate to grant entry into one's life? Who knows... there may be a remote possibility that our soul mate had came and left, forever, because our love wisdom is inadequate.
Who are we to blame for our lack of self understanding and our unevolved cosmic lessons of Love?
Reality and fate is cruel, for our time to learn is severely limited.
As a result, we experience myriad of failures and rejections.
The ironic thing is that we don't necessary learn more from our failure; there are times we resist learning, growing and evolving, much more for certain group of people.
Then who's to blame if we are always having unfulfilling relationship?
P.S: Understand the definition of what Love means to you, then having to long for a perfect/soul mate to explain the definition of Love.
Cheers
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Aunt Agony 140606
Originally posted by confusemind:
I am working in a fashion shop. Recently i got to know a girl, a very beautiful thailand girl...She brought alot of clothes in my shop, have a great time with her because she seems so friendly. She spend one hour in the shop and in the end she spend over $700 on clothes.
Somehow, before she left the shop we exchange phone numbers. We chat every night, she told me that she is studying in singapore and she is doing her degree. She did work part time but she doesnt want me to know where she work. As times goes by, from normal friend to close friend. We being going shopping together, watch movie, eat together etc etc. I am a very normal looking guy, walking with her, guys will give a second look at her, i confess to her that i love her after we being together for 3 months. She say she wanted to but she can't. I told her what is blocking our relationship and she say it's her part time job.
She need money to support her studies and end up she works in geylang. I am shock, speechless.. She cried and she told me she really love me.
Please guide me...
This 4 months, time spend with her we always on dutch and i am too poor to let her cheat...
I love her for who she is
Please advice...
Before you allow your emotions to overrun you, I suggest you read through what I have to say before you make any decision.
I) Her job isn't exactly glamorous, albeit you are able to accept it now, it is largely because of the intensity your Love (Uranus-fueled) has weaved, which caused you to overlook any negative aspect about her.
How certain are we to know that this is substantial and not transitory? Probably only God knows, before time would tell.
II) She mentioned that she has financial issue and had to sell her body in order to fund her school fee. But this completely contradicts her extravagant spending. There are two possible reasons: (1) there are things unknown/kept for you and I sense treachery. (2) Materialistic nature/Money hungry.
You may think that I am paranoid just because she works in this line; lemme tell you I used to know someone who prostitute for a living (don't ask me how I know her; everything is due to fate and affinity). And every woman who sells their body willingly have point II in their depressing tale.
How you thought of her is purely due to how she wants to portray to you. She is ambiguous and nobody else could confirm her abstruse background. This is an extremely high risk investment that could change your life. You are too poor for her to cheat? Or excuse to venture into this high risk instrument?
III) Your Love could accept her for who she is (I), and even stomach that sort of adverse risk (II), but how are you going to lead the relationship? Are you going to tell her to stop selling herself? Then who is going to fund her school fees (as claimed) and her sort of lifestyle?
If you are going to lead her to the 'path of enlightenment', how are you going to do that? This is RoHC (Relationship of Higher Complication) and Love itself is not suffice to do the dirty work for you.
Think carefully before you execute any decision. You make rash decisions, you live/die by it.
Cheers
I am working in a fashion shop. Recently i got to know a girl, a very beautiful thailand girl...She brought alot of clothes in my shop, have a great time with her because she seems so friendly. She spend one hour in the shop and in the end she spend over $700 on clothes.
Somehow, before she left the shop we exchange phone numbers. We chat every night, she told me that she is studying in singapore and she is doing her degree. She did work part time but she doesnt want me to know where she work. As times goes by, from normal friend to close friend. We being going shopping together, watch movie, eat together etc etc. I am a very normal looking guy, walking with her, guys will give a second look at her, i confess to her that i love her after we being together for 3 months. She say she wanted to but she can't. I told her what is blocking our relationship and she say it's her part time job.
She need money to support her studies and end up she works in geylang. I am shock, speechless.. She cried and she told me she really love me.
Please guide me...
This 4 months, time spend with her we always on dutch and i am too poor to let her cheat...
I love her for who she is
Please advice...
Before you allow your emotions to overrun you, I suggest you read through what I have to say before you make any decision.
I) Her job isn't exactly glamorous, albeit you are able to accept it now, it is largely because of the intensity your Love (Uranus-fueled) has weaved, which caused you to overlook any negative aspect about her.
How certain are we to know that this is substantial and not transitory? Probably only God knows, before time would tell.
II) She mentioned that she has financial issue and had to sell her body in order to fund her school fee. But this completely contradicts her extravagant spending. There are two possible reasons: (1) there are things unknown/kept for you and I sense treachery. (2) Materialistic nature/Money hungry.
You may think that I am paranoid just because she works in this line; lemme tell you I used to know someone who prostitute for a living (don't ask me how I know her; everything is due to fate and affinity). And every woman who sells their body willingly have point II in their depressing tale.
How you thought of her is purely due to how she wants to portray to you. She is ambiguous and nobody else could confirm her abstruse background. This is an extremely high risk investment that could change your life. You are too poor for her to cheat? Or excuse to venture into this high risk instrument?
III) Your Love could accept her for who she is (I), and even stomach that sort of adverse risk (II), but how are you going to lead the relationship? Are you going to tell her to stop selling herself? Then who is going to fund her school fees (as claimed) and her sort of lifestyle?
If you are going to lead her to the 'path of enlightenment', how are you going to do that? This is RoHC (Relationship of Higher Complication) and Love itself is not suffice to do the dirty work for you.
Think carefully before you execute any decision. You make rash decisions, you live/die by it.
Cheers
Friday, June 09, 2006
Aunt Agony 090606
Originally posted by ducktan:
i treat her like a princess. give in to her when quarrel. but she, everytime when we quarrel, she never fails to break her promises. she promised not to keep quiet. promised not to be so attitude. but when i tell her that she broke her promises, she will reply a ' SO? ' then i also have got nothing to say. there are times when we quarrel till very jialat i will suddenly give in and apologize. then she will then admit her mistakes and promise not to repeat. but again and again she repeats them. i know she loves me. but she doesn't show she that she treasures me. i'm really tired of giving in to her. but if i don't do so, i'm afraid that i will lose her. very afraid. now we have just quarreled. and the same thing repeats itself. i told her recently that this is the last chance i give her to prove that she treasures me. but just now. she just don't want to reply. hang the phone. and i said i wanted a break. she just cry. complains that i don't love her. and i have to call her again and again. people please tell me what to do? i don't want to be the one always to give in. i don't want her attitude and she always breaking her promises. lastly, i don't want to lose her.
thanks for reading. sincere replies please
You are giving in because you fear to lose her. You lost to fear.
She is not learning because she understands that you fear to lose her and would do whatever necessary to upkeep her nonsense. She preyed on your weak strength of character.
What sort of relationship would you want to see yourself falling into? A relationship that fools around with the 'break-up' stance whenever argument arises?
If your Love only understands companionship, then you will probably have to tolerate the 'what's not' until you crumble emotionally.
So you demand changes? And if somebody is not learning, you can't use the same equation to solve the same problem because you will be getting the same result.
What if the way for her to change is for you to be out of the picture? Would you have the courage to walk that route?
This is probably the third case (involving man with weak Mars) we have here. I shall repeat again: When you strive to treat a woman like a princess, at best, you become the best jester in town. Evolve your woman to a queen and you being her rightful king. Then you shall see equality and not lose your dynamic and foundation of your relationship to fear.
Cheers
i treat her like a princess. give in to her when quarrel. but she, everytime when we quarrel, she never fails to break her promises. she promised not to keep quiet. promised not to be so attitude. but when i tell her that she broke her promises, she will reply a ' SO? ' then i also have got nothing to say. there are times when we quarrel till very jialat i will suddenly give in and apologize. then she will then admit her mistakes and promise not to repeat. but again and again she repeats them. i know she loves me. but she doesn't show she that she treasures me. i'm really tired of giving in to her. but if i don't do so, i'm afraid that i will lose her. very afraid. now we have just quarreled. and the same thing repeats itself. i told her recently that this is the last chance i give her to prove that she treasures me. but just now. she just don't want to reply. hang the phone. and i said i wanted a break. she just cry. complains that i don't love her. and i have to call her again and again. people please tell me what to do? i don't want to be the one always to give in. i don't want her attitude and she always breaking her promises. lastly, i don't want to lose her.
thanks for reading. sincere replies please
You are giving in because you fear to lose her. You lost to fear.
She is not learning because she understands that you fear to lose her and would do whatever necessary to upkeep her nonsense. She preyed on your weak strength of character.
What sort of relationship would you want to see yourself falling into? A relationship that fools around with the 'break-up' stance whenever argument arises?
If your Love only understands companionship, then you will probably have to tolerate the 'what's not' until you crumble emotionally.
So you demand changes? And if somebody is not learning, you can't use the same equation to solve the same problem because you will be getting the same result.
What if the way for her to change is for you to be out of the picture? Would you have the courage to walk that route?
This is probably the third case (involving man with weak Mars) we have here. I shall repeat again: When you strive to treat a woman like a princess, at best, you become the best jester in town. Evolve your woman to a queen and you being her rightful king. Then you shall see equality and not lose your dynamic and foundation of your relationship to fear.
Cheers
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Time Quadrant (CloUdiSm)
I dropped a surprise visit on Granny.
I could see a sense of happiness exuding from her body language; this unexplained jubliant vibes coming out from her soul.
The notion that her grandson had visited her BECAUSE he wanted to see her. Period.
Granny wanted to cook/buy me dinner, but I politely rejected because I told her I just dropped by to VISIT her. Period.
There wasn't any hidden agenda; I just wanted to make my presence known to her that I care.
Met Yvonne later; was ages since we had a good chat over good food and some power shopping.
Just wanted to meet up because it has been quite a while. Period.
Although I equally wanted to hit my Baldur's Gate II at my computer, but nothing beats spending short quality time with people we appreciate.
I realise our time is segmented into four distinctive quadrants:
I) Self (S)
II) Partner (P)
III) Relative - inclusive of Family (R)
IV) Friends - (F)
Is it possible to appease everyone with 24 hours, 7 days a week?
And as our social circle expands, more people are topped unto the existing group of people within the quadrant.
But our time remains 24 hours, 7 days a week.
So either one of the Quadrant will have to suffer and sacrifice isn't it?
Which one would it be?
What's your take?
Cheers
I could see a sense of happiness exuding from her body language; this unexplained jubliant vibes coming out from her soul.
The notion that her grandson had visited her BECAUSE he wanted to see her. Period.
Granny wanted to cook/buy me dinner, but I politely rejected because I told her I just dropped by to VISIT her. Period.
There wasn't any hidden agenda; I just wanted to make my presence known to her that I care.
Met Yvonne later; was ages since we had a good chat over good food and some power shopping.
Just wanted to meet up because it has been quite a while. Period.
Although I equally wanted to hit my Baldur's Gate II at my computer, but nothing beats spending short quality time with people we appreciate.
I realise our time is segmented into four distinctive quadrants:
I) Self (S)
II) Partner (P)
III) Relative - inclusive of Family (R)
IV) Friends - (F)
Is it possible to appease everyone with 24 hours, 7 days a week?
And as our social circle expands, more people are topped unto the existing group of people within the quadrant.
But our time remains 24 hours, 7 days a week.
So either one of the Quadrant will have to suffer and sacrifice isn't it?
Which one would it be?
What's your take?
Cheers
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Aunt Agony II 070606
Originally posted by Xmimi:
I have a friend who is in a relationship for 3 years. The guy changed everything for her and do everything for her. However she found that after the 3 years she is bored of the relationship. She is not happy despite the fact that the guy had changed everything for her. She wanted to leave the relationship. Is it true that a relationship will get bored after a few years? What should she do to maintain? Or should she just leave him?
A woman needs a man, not a slave.
The minute the man loses himself and become servile, he blurred the reason/s why she falls in love with him.
This respect is lost.
And Love follow suit shortly.
Cheers
I have a friend who is in a relationship for 3 years. The guy changed everything for her and do everything for her. However she found that after the 3 years she is bored of the relationship. She is not happy despite the fact that the guy had changed everything for her. She wanted to leave the relationship. Is it true that a relationship will get bored after a few years? What should she do to maintain? Or should she just leave him?
A woman needs a man, not a slave.
The minute the man loses himself and become servile, he blurred the reason/s why she falls in love with him.
This respect is lost.
And Love follow suit shortly.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 070606
Originally posted by social_misfit:
Absent for a few months from this forum. Now crawling back for advice after hitting a deadlock again.
I'm not ashamed to admit my love life is as barren as the desert but I'm making effort to change myself and get a life, though still not reaping any rewards from it yet.
I realised I was a no-life bum who would just stay home on weekends and work on weekdays. So I changed myself. I started to go out, be more worldly and be engaged in some activities such as hiking, watching movies and doing window shopping in shopping malls on weekends instead of sleeping at home or hiding behind the computer to surf the Net.
A couple of months back, I got to know a girl when we attended course together. She was shy, quiet and introverted and bespectacled, so looks more like a girl-next-door than a hot babe that everyone would queue up for. But she caught my attention. We got to know each other a little better and exchanged contact information.
I'm a shy guy and I would never had summon my guts to date someone out previously. But I don't know where I got my guts from and I dated her out. Since then, we have gone out for 3 times to catch movies and have meals alone after work. And I made it a point to see her home each time.
Once, she came over to my cubicle to say hello when she saw me there. And during a lunch organised by the company, she came over and stood next to me to talk to me when I stuck with my group of colleagues from my own project team. But then she never initiates any conversation over MSN if she sees me online and we've never talked for days. It was always me who initiates conversations and dates. But she was always obliging and cheery when I do.
She has not indicated she likes me. Yet I'm not sure if she's waiting for me to initiate something. So I'm in the gray area. I've dated her a couple of times and although I might not have "performed" well on our dates, I showed her the due respect and treated her well to the best of my ability.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm clueless, lost and at a deadend as to what to do next. It seems like I'm in a quagmire - neither advancing nor retreating but stuck at a point. I'm wondering if it is time that I should just do the ultimate and make clear to her about my feeling so that she can:
Reject me straightaway if she's not interested or already attached
Keep me on waiting list
Accept me
How? It has been 3 months...And I cannot be a irritating parasite to pester her to go out with me every week as well.
That's strange.
Why would you think that you are an irritating parasite pestering her to go out every week?
Why wouldn't you think that it is quality time spent with people (a.k.a friends) worth going out with? I mean if she accepts your dates, it goes to show that she relatively enjoys your company isn't it? You can't be going out with someone you are annoyed with, could you?
You are walking along the right direction. You could maintain status quo to deepen your spell or cast it if you think it is the right time to do so.
Since you have mentioned that you have evolved your lifestyle, learn to appreciate those new routes you have just begin.
Cheers
Absent for a few months from this forum. Now crawling back for advice after hitting a deadlock again.
I'm not ashamed to admit my love life is as barren as the desert but I'm making effort to change myself and get a life, though still not reaping any rewards from it yet.
I realised I was a no-life bum who would just stay home on weekends and work on weekdays. So I changed myself. I started to go out, be more worldly and be engaged in some activities such as hiking, watching movies and doing window shopping in shopping malls on weekends instead of sleeping at home or hiding behind the computer to surf the Net.
A couple of months back, I got to know a girl when we attended course together. She was shy, quiet and introverted and bespectacled, so looks more like a girl-next-door than a hot babe that everyone would queue up for. But she caught my attention. We got to know each other a little better and exchanged contact information.
I'm a shy guy and I would never had summon my guts to date someone out previously. But I don't know where I got my guts from and I dated her out. Since then, we have gone out for 3 times to catch movies and have meals alone after work. And I made it a point to see her home each time.
Once, she came over to my cubicle to say hello when she saw me there. And during a lunch organised by the company, she came over and stood next to me to talk to me when I stuck with my group of colleagues from my own project team. But then she never initiates any conversation over MSN if she sees me online and we've never talked for days. It was always me who initiates conversations and dates. But she was always obliging and cheery when I do.
She has not indicated she likes me. Yet I'm not sure if she's waiting for me to initiate something. So I'm in the gray area. I've dated her a couple of times and although I might not have "performed" well on our dates, I showed her the due respect and treated her well to the best of my ability.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm clueless, lost and at a deadend as to what to do next. It seems like I'm in a quagmire - neither advancing nor retreating but stuck at a point. I'm wondering if it is time that I should just do the ultimate and make clear to her about my feeling so that she can:
Reject me straightaway if she's not interested or already attached
Keep me on waiting list
Accept me
How? It has been 3 months...And I cannot be a irritating parasite to pester her to go out with me every week as well.
That's strange.
Why would you think that you are an irritating parasite pestering her to go out every week?
Why wouldn't you think that it is quality time spent with people (a.k.a friends) worth going out with? I mean if she accepts your dates, it goes to show that she relatively enjoys your company isn't it? You can't be going out with someone you are annoyed with, could you?
You are walking along the right direction. You could maintain status quo to deepen your spell or cast it if you think it is the right time to do so.
Since you have mentioned that you have evolved your lifestyle, learn to appreciate those new routes you have just begin.
Cheers
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