Kenneth 1 Minute Choreo Snapshot

Dope la! =D

Cheers

Stillness

Individualism and disillusionment

It's much more pervasive than I thought

I am disappointed

Probably with myself

Can Money Buy Happiness?

Can Money Buy Happiness or Not?

Wharton study shows link between wealth, well-being

Business Times 26 May 08

(WASHINGTON) The saying goes that money can't buy happiness. But inquiring economists have been working for decades trying to prove or disprove the notion.

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business released a study in April showing 'a clear positive link' between wealth and 'subjective well- being,' based on global surveys.

While this may seem logical to some, the research flew in the face of a longstanding theory that happiness of a country's population does not rise with income, after certain basic needs are met.

This theory, dubbed the Easterlin Paradox, was developed in 1974 by Richard Easterlin, an economist currently on the faculty at the University of Southern California.

Mr Easterlin's research had drawn on surveys notably from Japan, where surveys had shown little or no increase in national happiness despite the country's post-World War II economic miracle.

Wharton economists Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers contend in the new research that better data over the past three decades and a closer analysis suggests that the Easterlin Paradox is flawed.

They found that the wealthiest countries in terms of gross domestic product (GDP) per capita rank near the top of surveys on happiness, with the poorest at the bottom. More significantly, within each country, higher incomes translated to higher ratings of life satisfaction, they found.

'There appears to be a very strong relationship between subjective well-being and income, which holds for both rich and poor countries, falsifying earlier claims of a satiation point at which higher GDP is not associated with greater well-being,' they say in a paper to be published by the Brookings Institution.

'The Easterlin Paradox says that what I care about is my relative ranking in society,' Ms Stevenson told AFP. 'It says economic development doesn't matter at all - that the United States is no better off in 2008 than it was in 1920.'

The results have important implications for public policy. Ms Stevenson and Mr Wolfers noted that economic growth might not be considered an important policy goal if it does little to raise well-being.

The Wharton researchers said that multi-nation surveys such as the Gallup World Poll and the Pew Global Attitudes Survey reveal 'quite powerful effects of income on happiness'. 'There is no evidence of a satiation point,' Mr Wolfers told AFP. 'Even as rich counties get richer, they appear to get happier.' The researchers said that they were not seeking to make any political point or support an ideology.

Although backers of the Easterlin theory said that it argues against unbridled pro-growth capitalism, Ms Stevenson said that the new research could also be used to promote more distribution of wealth.

'A 10 per cent increase in income for a poor person will give you the same gain (in happiness) as a 10 per cent gain for a rich person but it would cost a lot less,' she said.

Accordingly, she said that redistributing income from the rich to the poor could increase a country's overall happiness quotient.

Mr Easterlin, meanwhile, stands by his research, updated several times since the 1970s.

In a 2004 paper, he said that surveys continue to support his thesis.

'Contrary to what economic theory assumes, more money does not make people happier,' he wrote.

'Most people could increase their happiness by devoting less time to making money, and more to non-pecuniary goals such as family life and health,' Mr Easterlin said.

'It's necessary to separate shorter term fluctuations in which GDP and happiness are positively related from the long-term association between growth and happiness,' he said in comments e-mailed to AFP.

'The conclusions of (the Wharton) paper appear to be based on the short-term association and do not contradict the findings regarding the longer term.' The new research, meanwhile, has set off a fierce debate among scholars. -- AFP

***



I recalled the gist of book 'Buddha in the Mirror', which reiterated about the classic example of what the above referred to as 'Relative Happiness'. People measured their happiness economically or also known as the 'Treasures of the Storehouse', as quoted by Nichiren, have their happiness devoted to material possession that are subjected to the Law of Impermanence, which are fleeting and ultimately not substantial or eternal.

The sixth world of Rapture - in which people reveled in their pursuit of relative happiness, are still subjected to the fluctuation of the lower six worlds. In fact, as the novelty of materialism often wanes faster than the journey it takes for your food to pass out as waste - upon consumption. In order to retrace back the route to this world, people begin to gorge themselves with more material possessions to recreate the feeling of novelty and temporal fulfillment of relative happiness, seeking to create an empty identity within this saha world. Sadly, they have only fallen into the world of hunger, perpetually craving for mundane desires that cannot be sated.

This hunger grows astronomically and the Law of Economics would have explained it well: 'Desire are unlimited, but resources are limited' - hence, people end up leading a desiccate life as they reasoned to themselves that they would be happier with more money or material possession and constantly feeling inadequate.

I will quote a verse from the bible, which I learned in my earlier days in school and coincidentally, it falls under St Mark 8:36: "For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?'

I realized my journey with Nichiren Buddhism has enhanced my expansive world of philosophy and knowledge. And the incredible thing about the Lotus Sutra is that it does not point towards a given direction, but rather a proposing a meandering path towards Buddhahood, focusing on the means and not the end itself.

I recalled the time of ecstasy during Soccer Celebrity Match last year when we did our inaugural performance of forty people under UP. Or even the M&D festival in which I acted for the first freaking time in my life.

Manz - that awesome experience was at least 24 times stronger than the novelty of me buying my Bape Jamaican in Hong Kong. There was absolutely no way I could constantly upkeep dope underground labels, but for me to enter into the performance arena with my brothers and sisters was entirely possible.

I recalled fondly the oxymoron: I was so fucking poor, but I felt so rich.

Thus, first hand experience says it all: although money can buy relative happiness, to build our happiness onto this unstable model is ultimately unsustainable. It is as if we are stuck with an eternal hunger, consuming everything possible, yet still finding it an inability to resolve the hunger pangs.

It's critical to understand that our attitude towards our life, in any given circumstances, determines our outcome in happiness.

True happiness is generated from within - not bestowed from external causes.

P.S: Yaya says must share something with HR Crew on 'Buddha in your Mirror', so I corresponded it with the Business Times article. So any lengthy views, just post it on comments tag - shoutbox cannot take lengthy words.

Cheers

Zappo

Anna got me a bar of candy from Aussie. Woo!

StarHub Chicken Rice

星和海南鸡饭?

StarHub Chicken Rice! =D

P.S: To view Chinese characters, please go to view and encode to Unicode (UTF-8)

Cheers

Aunt Agony 250508

Originally posted by DivineDespair:

It was first love, so innocent and pure. The type you'd know that this was the ONE and you would sacifice anything, the time, the money even your life for it to flourish. 2.5 years of endless devotion, can to an abrupt end one day. She was kind to let me down easy, tried to explain it was her fault and even to "scold" her if i was unhappy. Being the teenage egoistic male filled with pride and never to "lose face" in a situation like this, i consented that it was ok. She even explained that if she wasn't the one i was intending to marry, it would have to end somewhere. I agreed and we parted.

Unknowing the her, i was totally devestated by this. My whole world from everything i knew, did and believed in was suddenly taken away. The life in me was drained, and there was this hugh "love" vacuum to be filled. I got attached again but this relationship had to be ended by me, as i finally realized that it was unfair of me to love somebody for the wrong reasons. I didn't know how to love again, the sameway i had always knew.I lived my life, more careful of my feelings, more reserved. Never being able to commit myself.

Time passes by and i live my life . Now and then the memories do resurface and haunt me. Sometimes, out of the blue, i dream of her, and it totally destabilizes the day for me. One such day happened 5 years ago, out of curiosity, i went to search ROM and to my "surprise" i found that she had registered about 2 years ago. I felt there was no point in waiting anymore. Deep inside i was hoping for something to happen despite not having contact for ~8 years. Within a month, i proposed to my current girlfriend and we got married the subsequent year.

Just yesterday (~15 years since), i stumbled upon her facebook entry. Being a private one, i could see her together with her daugher. Something deep inside starts to rekindle, some emotions that makes me feel uneasy. I've been off center for the last 24 hrs. I'm really happy for her and bear no grudges as i should have matured through all this time. But there is something deep inside me that has made me feel uneasy. Something i think i should have said on that fateful breakup day or sometime sooner. I know it sounds ridiculous to be hoping for anything now, and i'm not. I myself have a daughter and she means the world to me and i would never do anything to hurt her.

But there is something in my soul that needs addressing, something that i have to address before i depart from this planet. I just need to tell her (without any hope or agenda) that "I really loved you. I lied then about you not being the one not to marry, cos it was the exact opposite, you were my life and that was always in my mind for that to happen. Cos not letting you know for all this time has been killing me".

I feel that i have to seal this chapter in my life, which was never really closed for 15 years. But then again it sounds crazy to contact someone who you've not contacted for 15 years and say this. Now that our lives have moved on.

What should i do??

P.S. If any of you had watch "Love actually", i can truely relate to the character Mark that is secretly in love with Kiera knightley's character, but didn't have the courage to tell her, because as he says "its a self preservation thing". Not allowing himself to succumb to the despair of knowing that they can never be together. Kiera married his best friend.

I find it extremely disturbing to hear stories of how an individual would so absurdly delude their ideology of a perfect love by equating it to a proposed fantasy figure, just simply because the feelings were the most intensive and the 'I-know-she-is-the-one.' false prophesy.

This karmic relationship is nothing but fatuous love.

All this emotional misery is caused by the seemingly unbreakable attachment and bondage to this karmic relationship that is wholesomely one sided and narcissistic. In tarot, the Devil best represents the condition of such relationship.

There is so much self conjuration of melodrama - filled with narcissism and disillusionment. I think it's doleful to see people with perfectly nice marriages saying that their greatest failure in love is never having to marry or continue a relationship with ‘That One' till the very end. That loose equivalent of a soul mate, first love, best love, or whatever you termed it, gets mistaken for everything from infatuation to lust to an excuse for stalking, obsession, domestic violence and the what's not.

And the incredible thing is that people seek to find strength in corroborating this afflicted mindset through media, movies, music, books or simply taking selective perspective and biased conclusion whenever they listened to people’s stories and reaffirmed this one-sided view on their take of their own relationship.

I have seen first hand, people grouping together as they howled in pain by reminiscing and negatively strengthening their false love identity with their fantasy figure/s - even fate has blatantly revealed that he/she has no more greater plans in their lives.

This is crazy! How depressing would it be for your wife, who have given her heart to you through love and marriage, only to discover that she is but a second class citizen to another person, which time should have disintegrate her presence into the pages of history in your lifespan and shrine of memory.

This is not merely a commentary point of view because I walked through similar path and ate the same shit, albeit now it still affects me occasionally. The only difference between you and I is that I transformed this regret into perfecting my soul and cultivate deeper understanding in Love.

I took the spiritual path towards enlightenment in Love and pen down my discovery in my own book and gradually see myself grow from my own encounters.

I recalled writing this phenomenon in CloUdiSm under Ritual Closure – people who are unable to seal certain chapter in love, despite the passing of time, and seek to attempt some form of ‘ritual-like’ action or behavior to conclude episode/s. You reckoned that there is this need for you to go up to her and tell her that you really loved her back then and what you said fifteen years ago is nothing but a lie and all that stuff – this is your attempt at weaving the ‘ritual’ to process a closure for that chapter.

But what you are blinded to see is that her presence in your life has absolutely nothing to do with or without knowing that you truly loved her back then. The real gist of that entire scenario functions as an expedient means to reveal that one should treasure our love ones every single moment in life and that one must never fetter the purest form of self expression in love!

Fifteen years and that foolishness carried on without any attempt at clarification or enlightenment. True as I have wrote about seven years ago, ‘Love has absolutely nothing to do with our chronological age.’ In fact, our judgment in Love is often clouded, not by reasoning, but by the lack of wisdom to perceive our situation holistically in love and relationship, which fuels our misery and suffering.

There is no such thing as a perfect lover – only imperfect people attempting to forge a perfect relationship. As what I have told BaByBoy – you must learn to release yourself from this emotional imprisonment because this option is only available to you from within. Nobody or nothing can make you realize this other than yourself

Cheers

Aunt Agony 220508

Originally posted by Upset gal:

What does it mean to be faithful? Is it just "not having done anything"? What is acceptable in society in this present world?

If I married guy tells a girl that he misses her and proposes to meet in some dark corner, is this acceptable? even if it is supposed to be a joke?

Scenario :

Married guy to girl colleague - Miss you, shall we meet in some dark corner?

Questions :

1. Is this considered unfaithful to married guy's partner?

2. What if married guy "has not done anything"?

3. Can a 3rd party reading this take it to mean as a tease?

Where does the fault starts? From reasoning or behaviour?

Can we safely say that one is guilty of 'sinning in love', even if infidelity does not manifest into behaviour?

I am not commenting the above idea along with the logic of 'One must see fire before one understands the destruction of a conflagration' - but rather, if a fire is sure to occur, there's little you can do to stop it.

In simple: you might be interested to know what's going on between your man and his colleague, but I think prior to that, it's equally important to understand where did the inflection first begin that led him astray potentially. Evolutionary Psychologist would have claim that monogamy is against the instinct of man and it's part of the Natural Selection to spread his seeds - but that's only if human are without cognition and a spiritual soul, as the latter is extremely crucial in our development in Love.

I think we all must come to an understanding that we cannot stop people from leaving or becoming unfaithful if that is what someone desired. Love and marriage is bounded by freewill - even transcendental beings are powerless to meddle against the freewill in Love. Therefore, if this very freewill is geared towards committing transgression, unless components of the source is evolved, if not the consequences are often dire.

Because I do not know your man, neither does your relationship - it's almost impossible to make accurate assessment as you ain't clear yourself. Knowing this, I say, take some ample time to understand your entire issue first. Avoid jumping into conclusion, thinking that your man is promiscuous. There might be suggestions, but there are many dimensions to unfaithfulness and some of these might not be intrinsically motivated (which means that a marriage is still potentially salvageable, for as long as certain components of the push factors is resolved).

P.S: Before I end my post, I just like to say: please do not dismiss divorce from your option totally. I am not encouraging you to consider this ultimatum, but rather, you still must allow yourself this option IF development of your situation becomes irrevocably putrid. Nobody should suffer abuse, neglect or helplessness over a vast period of time, without any viable mode to change their circumstances.

You don't have to use it, but you must be able to find it when you need it.

This is what I am advocating.

Cheers

Do you really want it?

Yuri & GRACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhaa!

DC x Kaws

OMG!!!

THIS IS DOPE SHIT!

HR Crew Training 之 One Minute Choreo (18 May 08)

Today is the dreaded one minute choreo.

I admit I was damn anyhow - but hell, actually, I thought it was quite fun actually.

For those who did not showcase today, just to let you know - die die also must do... cannot run away one... MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Random pics for the day.





Cheers

Aunt Agony 140508

Originally posted by clyde1985:

hi everyone, need some advice, story is a bit long sorry about that.

got to know this girl in the same uni class, dint really know her at first but somehow got to know each other better a month ago. contacted her abt my other friend whom i tot he was in trouble, n somehow we got closer and talked to each other on the phone almost every night. went out a few times in a large group and went out alone with her twice. at the start, i just wanted to know her more out of curiosity, but somehow we jus have endless topics to chat about and she confided in me about her problems. it was during exams period and we studied together everyday, i would make it a point to send her home everytime we go out.

i tot of her as a platonic friend, but dint knew i fell for her. there was this once i sent her home when she told me not to treat her so gd if nt she will fall for me, i brushed aside that statement carelessly, n dint tot much of that.

i told her i liked her, and she said she liked me too. everything happened kind of fast. the problem is she has a boyfriend of 3 years and does not want to be unfaithful towards him. he is in national service. i know i might be just a temporary refuge as an emotional support or something better than a normal friend but i jus kept falling deeper. she made statements like curbing her feelings towards me and tellling herself to stop liking me, to which i refuted with anger and din accept those stuff. she would love to play mind games with me and make me guess wad she was thinking, and would make hurtful statements sometimes.

i made her cried , when i had enough n told her i would stop smsing her n bothering her, cause i know in the end she will not leave her bf. i dont know why she can say these stuff and i cant.

our sms towards each other gradually lessened and now that exams are over, we dont see each other everyday anymore. 2 days ago i stopped smsing her totally and she asked me why dint receive my msg for so long, to which i replied that she doesnt reply me when she is with boyfriend and sms her also no use. we talked briefly yesterday on the phone and was going out today when she cancelled it and i jus hecked it. i would pacify her everytime whenever she got angry, and i tot i jus dont want to do that anymore. our sms jus became colder. i guess

i am very confused n sad, i asked friends for advice and they told me if it aint got any ending and i got to stop hurting myself. i know about that but somehow not willing to, cause i tot if 2 people liked each other, i dont know why we cant be together. i tell myself everyday to be her a good friend, and jus let it go but still miss her a great deal. we only know each other for not long, n i dont know why i liked her so much.

in any case i am 23 this year, to my friends i am a lively yet rational person that dishes out advice to them whenever they need it. i cant comprehend why i am not rational anymore.

please tell me what i should do, any advice will really be appreciated a great deal

thank you for reading and your time, hopefully will get a response from any of you which can help me. =)

Actually this is quite a classic situation because it's when the unconscious aspect of love is brought forth consciously through various catalysis and situational factors, it often creates a demand so robust that it strikes you like a growing hunger and subconsciously relates an unfathomed behavior you too failed to understand.

It's quite simple here: in the beginning, you tell yourself that you are merely viewing her as a platonic friend, but your behavior increasingly worked to promote deeper emotional connection. And all these behaviors are concealed in name of platonic friendship. You claimed a trait of being a rational person - it kinda affirmed my belief that this 'rationalization, logical, systematic and organized persona' in face of love acts pretty much as a facade in your earlier denial to foster a path towards creating probable relationship with this lady, with or without the consideration her existing boyfriend.

Freud classified it as a form of defensive mechanism. So does Noel Tyl, I believe.

Still considered platonic? Nah. That facade has shattered a million pieces when she revealed a possibility that she might just fall for you. This brought the unconscious desire into light and consciously, your dormant affection begin to multiply like some kind of emotional cancerous cells because there seemed to be reciprocation and it suggested a reduced possibility in being rejected and thus lessen the fear to advance.

There are times when people tell me how 'platonic' it all began and when I read into their personality and attitude, I realized that the concept of platonic friendship can hardly existing into their psychological framework (esp some of the self proclaimed 'nice guys'). It's just doesn't sound convincing because it just doesn't seem to fit and when they relate this as part of the tale, very often, yunhaier dismissed it as mere facade for love to advance undercover.

CloUdiSm states two kind of platonic friendship:

Pseudo-Platonic: natural selection would consider the 'friend' a possibility of a mate. It's often a KIV relationship, potential but not manifesting until an eventful trigger.

True Platonic: BGR will never manifest between the two.

I will quote what you have posted:

[Originally quoted by Clyde1985]: 'Cause I know in the end, she will not leave her bf.'

There... you have your answer on the above classification I have stated.

And next, you have your woman.

She is probably in need of companionship while her boyfriend is away. She is keenly aware of her situation, but has decided that she will not leave her boyfriend during this period. This is critical, because what happens is that it is suggestive of the fact that she would remain faithful unless there are compelling reason for her to deter away.

If a man preoccupied her time and took on 'roles' that her boyfriend would normally do, this substitution is perfect. Because this man fits the exact criteria of what you would deemed as a perfect shelter for the moment. You might create a pull factor, but if there isn't a push factor from within, chances are, your attempt will fail. Yes, there are alternatives to rework this situation, but unless you are really well-versed in AOS or stuff, I reckon don't bother employing more resources to take on something beyond what you can manage.

If you feel ambivalent about mind games and you can't handle such tricks, just quit - you probably regulate your loss more effectively this way. If you find it difficult to face subtle rejection, then it might be somewhat beneficial for you and her to remain separated for a period. It doesn't mean two people who like each other would end up being together as the ultimate acceptance of a relationship is a complex model and isn't as linear as you originally proposed.

P.S: In love, being rational served little purpose - it's all about intrapersonal skills and experience.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 110508

Originally posted by daigooro:

I'm really sorry if I'm bothering you guys but I've surf SGforums forums for close to 3 years already but I never once posted before. Tonight was the first time that I felt really lost and I had no one to turn to. The person that always guided me along was the very same one that made me lost.

I got to know this friend from another one of my friend around 8 months ago. He was helping me with a project; a project involving a module that I wasn't really good in. I didn't really noticed him over time cause he was in a different class from me so we didn't really had much contact.

So by a twist of fate i found myself hanging out with him alot, through dota, through movies and etc as his class and mine were very close. So as time goes by we are really close, more of like younger brother and older brothers.

So recently I notice people talking abt us, saying how close we are and how we might be gay couples. At first it was really fine as we took it for being a joke and such. We didn't really cared abt their comments though, outsiders mah, why let them affect our friendship.

But this fateful night this friend of mine told me that if there would be another rumours of us being gay couples again he would end the friendship. I was very surprised, and I asked him why.

He said he didn't like peer pressure and he once suffered before in the past. So now if there would be peer pressure he would just leave this friendship and everyone else also. He said his pride and ego wouldn't allow him to ignore those comments made by people.

But what he said was really hurting. I thought we were good friends? Why would he let go of our friendship just because of what people say? We even promise each other that we would be the best man for each other during our weddings and yet he is unable to ignore what people say?

I really feel abit paiseh to say this but he's the very first male I shed tears for but I'm not afraid to say that I love him alot. He's a really good friend.

So can anyone advice me on what to do now in this situation of mine? I really don't know what to do and who to turn to already..

Sorry if my english sounds very weird, it's my first time posting a thread here..

XOXO,

BigBear.

Social conformity and gender scripting.

The society we live in reward behaviors that appeared to be gender-appropriate and punish, in various aspect, behaviors that does not go in sync with norm are often criticized. Eventually, much as we would like to live according to our own ideals, it's difficult to eliminate the negative response exuding from our environment that tries to shape us to what the majority is like. People love to judge accordingly to what they perceive in their own limited understand and knowledge of what they think you, him or your relationship is.

Do you agree or disagree? Because that answer will determine whether you bother about whatever entity outside yourself believes in.

Apparently, social pressure is something very real. Likely, it isn't just about the relationship; it could be such that (1) you might display unconscious effeminate behavior or (2) your emotional attachment to this guy is beyond what an average guy would normally give to another guy, thus that could possibly give rise to such a conclusion by people around you - that you two are gay couple.

Whether this is true or not, actually it matters little. Because as long as you are clear about your own sexual identity, being heterosexual (unless you have resolved an identity crisis and clarify that you are actually homosexual), that's all that you need to know.

I know this guy, who is quite effeminate in his mannerism and once thought he might not be straight, but hell, he is getting married later this year.

Sees this as an opportunity to expand your social circle. I mean, it's good that you have a good brother/friend that you can trust and count on, but you are still young and it's essential that you learn to socialize with other people, than to cling merely onto one person for companionship. Have a healthy mix of both girls and guys in your social circle and people with similar interest or ideals.

It's not the end of friendship imho, just a transition that you have to manage.

Cheers

Time in a Bottle

If I could save Time in a bottle

The first thing that i'd like to do

Is to save every day

Til Eternity passes away

Just to spend them with you...

But there never seems to be enough time

To do the things you want to do

Once you find them

I've looked around enough to know

That you're the one I want to go

Through time with

- Jim Croce

VJC Concert 2008

VJC concert 2008.

Saw Euu Yeung there - I suspect her daughter is studying in VJC.

Sekali, is actually Jinhan's classmate! LOL!

Cheers

Fatigue

Everything is just gaining on me.

Pending ECA, exam and my monstrous work.

And I suddenly recalled there's still the '1-minute-choreo'

Sheesh!

Sweet Nothings (For the Girly Stuff)

Alrighty.

For all the girls that are sugar and spice, and all that's nice.

You can check out some girly thingy here:

http://sweetn0things.wordpress.com/

Disclaimer: Go through yunhaier also no discount. So don't flood my msn or email. ^^

Cheers

Aunt Agony 060508

Originally posted by smooth12:

hello guys
i need some help here. i cant stop feeling jealous whenever any guy gets close with my girlfriend. I don't know whether i am being over possesive or not. But i do

know one thing. I hate this feeling.
there was this once when i found out that the password for her to log into the computer is her ex-bf handphone number. i dunno how to describe how i feel when i found out about that. she told me that her father and younger sis use her computer too so last time when she tried to change the pass, her father scolded her for changing becoz he already memorised that "password". so she kept her ex-bf handphone number as the password.

We were already 3 months plus being together at that time. Is it a valid reason to keep ur ex bf hp number as password for ur laptop? i mean, she take quite sometime to memorise mine but she already still have her ex-bf number all at her fingertips. I cant bear to imagine that the past few months everytime she turn on her laptop, she will be reminded of her ex-bf and everytime before we even chat on msn, she will type in the password which will remind her of her ex-bf before me. she said she changed the pass

one week later after the incident. i didnt try myself to see whether she changed it though.
and there was this once she went for a camp. she was a station master with another guy. i was in school at that time and decided to find her. we talked a bit and told her i wanna see her event but only from afar. well everything was going fine. the camp participants were very enthusiastic. it was when the group left when things happened.

i was sitting down from a higher level and all was clear view. she knew that too. the group of participants left and the other station master (guy) started to playfully splash water at my gf. my gf than laugh and shout2 throwin back some water sending signals to the guy that it is an acceptable behaviour. the guy started to playfuly chase my gf with water they both chase each other splashing water happily and laughing. after the pail of water finish. the guy and my gf took one pail each. stand close to each other, talk2 than walk side by side out of my view to a toilet to refill water.all this happened with my gf knowing me looking down at her. but she did came back and called me to ask where i am and found me with a dissapointed face. i mean is it me being jealous too easily or i was right to be jealous?

where do i draw the line? sumone help me please.

There isn't a thing as the prerogative to be jealous; we merely justify this feeling as a result of some external events that we did not how to resolve or interpret emotionally, hence we classify it as jealousy. There isn't an absolute line to draw, other than independent self regulation to minimize feeling crappy.

The password thing, imho, is completely nonsense. CloUdiSm classify it as symbolic jealousy, where people are affected because they compose meaning to an act or behavior that by itself has no other implication other than its functional meaning. You unconsciously suspect that there 'must' be something going on within her, since she is using her ex-bf mobile number, but hell, that probably represents none of your speculation.

What happens is that you are likely:

1) You are an insecure person.

2) Sees love as a form of possession. (Unconscious perception belongs to a lower plane in love - CloUdiSm).

As for her playing a fool, are you expecting her to wear a stern face and go through the camp as if the world owes her a great deal? Of course she would want to make merry and have fun. Your emotions are a trigger of your defensive mechanism - when you find it difficult to accommodate the new found knowledge internally and resolve it (probably worst if you are a Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius or Taurus).

Everyone generally suffers various degree of jealousy - the only cause for concern lies when jealousy adversely affects the relationship, be it whether it is justified or not. One myth about jealousy is that some people believed that it only manifest through triggering from the external environment - but the truth is that it's almost 100% an inside job. Jealousy is a self demon - the people around you cannot feel the intensity of your emotion, unlike anger or fear, and it is often insidious.

Like some hideous phantasmal forces, it feeds on your gnawing inferiority, gaining strength as your self esteem fades from the lack of holistic understanding in love. If you want to work on 'jealousy', you got to work on your insecurity - by patching the emotional vulnerabilities that allow this 'demonic emotions' to exploit your inner self.

The causes of insecurity are myriad and it isn't easy to pinpoint the exact root; even more arduous to implement changes.

But I will just leave you with a simple thought to ponder:

You can't stop love from leaving on its own accord, but you have every span of control to prevent yourself from pushing love away. Ironically, most people understood this only when they understood regret. Perhaps enlightenment and regret is but two side of the coin, derived from the same product.

Cheers

KO Nite (Elimination Round)

It was packed - so I just decided to snap a random shot.

Good luck to Josh! ^^

SNTD (with Candy)

I thought this is lost.

But I FOUND IT! MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Enjoy!

Aunt Agony 020508

Originally posted by couch^potato:

feeling so demoralised. depressed about my breakup with my 6 yr relationship. dunno why my gf now ex must always leave me at crucial times. last time i accident and while recovering within the first 2 months(still recovering after 2 yrs..coz major accident) she broke up saying that i was boring. now i having my exams next week and she broke up again with me about 2 weeks ago. feel like shit really. cant study at all. no mood. wanna enjoy but also worried about my exams. dunno why but she always seem to be leaving me when i need her the most. i am unable to move on also because my heart feels so heavy. really v depressed and i am already mentally prepared to repeat my yr. :( why is it that she always leaves me when i need her the most? i just cant bring myself to accept her again if ever she comes back :(

Before you begin dwelling in some incessant, bottomless pit of melancholy and depression, I think you need to have some deeper understanding of the misery you are into: there is quite a bit of narcissism, mourning why your ex-girlfriend always leave you in a lurch. However, when you reverse that self pity thought, I wondered why in the first place would you accept her again only to grant her access to create a second misery in your life one more time?

In love, we all have that bit of narcissistic self, craving for the certain attention, love and companionship from our other half. It is natural. However, I cannot stress enough on the fact that your individual happiness in any relationship cannot be entirely depended on another person. The mindset of 'I can only be happy in his/her presence' merely suggested that you are not only emotionally instable, but also lacking the innate self love you ought to brandish before you could start expanding this very love to another person and forge meaningful bond we called 'relationship'.

Perhaps you are also blinded by the fact that this is already a 6 years relationship and it feels painful to relinquish an investment you have so carefully nurtured. But technically speaking, it's even less than 6 years - considering the fact that every time you broke off, it starts from point zero and not where you last end off. This will inflate your perceived misery and forms a 'Greater Lost Syndrome' in love (CloUdiSm).

Your sense of abandonment is reiterated, as you are unyielding to accept any possibilities in breaking-up or moving on. You merely create an avenue for your individual cosmic lesson to replay this excruciating karmic debt of helplessness and abandonment once again. You might clenched your fist and adamantly refuse to accept your outcome, but death in love is deaf and it hears no denial.

Once the lessons are provided spiritually, any attempt to lengthen it often promise prolong wretchedness.

Perhaps it's time for you to preview your situation and decide if it is worth the while to yearn for someone who doesn't really bother about you. In Love, we cannot always use the same yardstick to measure our relationship six years ago and now - for we have evolved emotionally and psychologically, thus our needs, expectation and personality will surely change over the years.

There are times when Love becomes irrelevant gradually - not because it did not exist in the first place, but rather, your spiritual journey with her has come to fruition and there is nothing else this relationship could provide for you.

Find someone who could walk through life with you, and not overly focus your effort on people who are bound to get down after a few bus stops. You can't stop them because that is their destination.

Cheers

Dreams

I just realized that einein knows Kewei.

Not that I am particularly surprised, considering the fact that they are both within the Mando-pop industry. (And Douglas if you are watching this, perhaps it might stir a something within).

What I find it inspiring is this undying, passion einein has with music. She quit her overseas accounting job and still end up in doing the things she loved best eventually. I remembered having this mad-long-ago conversation with her & Douglas on MSN - she always address me in mandarin under '云孩儿' (instead of yunhaier) and I randomly called her 键盘仙子.

Cognitively, I still find it easier to manage my expectation of her dancing her fingers through the keyboard, playing Bosso Nova, than living in the role of a 8-5 accountant.

After all, 键盘仙子没有了音乐或键盘，哪里像个键盘仙子？ 哈哈!

***

Dreams... Do you have one?

I realized that people gave up pursing things they once loved, probably debilitated by this unhealthy drudgery way of life in Singapore until life becomes terribly mundane - we rapidly lose interest with things that beget little monetary returns.

We start measuring the world we live in economically and invest in relative happiness that ironically did not provide as much fulfillment, in comparison to some of the simplest activities we engaged in during our younger days. It wasn't mindless; it was carefree and desire was largely unfettered... something that you wanted and could be done in matter of split-second choice.

I realized that as people age, dissatisfaction apt to grows astronomically, unless active steps are taken to address this issue. I observed this phenomenon from my workplace - marketing folks really 干 no life - everyone slogs like a cow because the demand of this job requires you to be one. There is no two way about it.

If I did not have the unwavering vision for Kosen Rufu with HR crew or even the wisdom to pursue this humanistic degree and the determination to complete CloUdiSm, I seriously reckon that I will hit a quarter-life crisis even before I turn 30.

I love my job... love my team... love the people I work with - but still it doesn't fulfill me absolutely. I realized that something is critically missing and I cannot pinpoint exactly what it is. It feels very important to me, but I cannot discern exactly what is it that I need to have before I can start feeling wholesome.

I suspect it probably has something to do with my Sagittarius Neptune in 12th house.

Are you going to be overwhelmed by your daily task, until your vision in life becomes blurred and distant?

I say hold onto that love you have and not lose focus.

We only fucking live once; hence, before my life expires into the state of Ku, I must achieve self actualization and leave behind a legacy of my life work.

Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail - R W Emerson

P.S: To read Chinese characters, go to View and encode to Unicode (UTF-8)

Cheers