Originally posted by couch^potato:
feeling so demoralised. depressed about my breakup with my 6 yr relationship. dunno why my gf now ex must always leave me at crucial times. last time i accident and while recovering within the first 2 months(still recovering after 2 yrs..coz major accident) she broke up saying that i was boring. now i having my exams next week and she broke up again with me about 2 weeks ago. feel like shit really. cant study at all. no mood. wanna enjoy but also worried about my exams. dunno why but she always seem to be leaving me when i need her the most. i am unable to move on also because my heart feels so heavy. really v depressed and i am already mentally prepared to repeat my yr. :( why is it that she always leaves me when i need her the most? i just cant bring myself to accept her again if ever she comes back :(
Before you begin dwelling in some incessant, bottomless pit of melancholy and depression, I think you need to have some deeper understanding of the misery you are into: there is quite a bit of narcissism, mourning why your ex-girlfriend always leave you in a lurch. However, when you reverse that self pity thought, I wondered why in the first place would you accept her again only to grant her access to create a second misery in your life one more time?
In love, we all have that bit of narcissistic self, craving for the certain attention, love and companionship from our other half. It is natural. However, I cannot stress enough on the fact that your individual happiness in any relationship cannot be entirely depended on another person. The mindset of 'I can only be happy in his/her presence' merely suggested that you are not only emotionally instable, but also lacking the innate self love you ought to brandish before you could start expanding this very love to another person and forge meaningful bond we called 'relationship'.
Perhaps you are also blinded by the fact that this is already a 6 years relationship and it feels painful to relinquish an investment you have so carefully nurtured. But technically speaking, it's even less than 6 years - considering the fact that every time you broke off, it starts from point zero and not where you last end off. This will inflate your perceived misery and forms a 'Greater Lost Syndrome' in love (CloUdiSm).
Your sense of abandonment is reiterated, as you are unyielding to accept any possibilities in breaking-up or moving on. You merely create an avenue for your individual cosmic lesson to replay this excruciating karmic debt of helplessness and abandonment once again. You might clenched your fist and adamantly refuse to accept your outcome, but death in love is deaf and it hears no denial.
Once the lessons are provided spiritually, any attempt to lengthen it often promise prolong wretchedness.
Perhaps it's time for you to preview your situation and decide if it is worth the while to yearn for someone who doesn't really bother about you. In Love, we cannot always use the same yardstick to measure our relationship six years ago and now - for we have evolved emotionally and psychologically, thus our needs, expectation and personality will surely change over the years.
There are times when Love becomes irrelevant gradually - not because it did not exist in the first place, but rather, your spiritual journey with her has come to fruition and there is nothing else this relationship could provide for you.
Find someone who could walk through life with you, and not overly focus your effort on people who are bound to get down after a few bus stops. You can't stop them because that is their destination.
Cheers
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