Aunt Agony 220508

Originally posted by Upset gal:

What does it mean to be faithful? Is it just "not having done anything"? What is acceptable in society in this present world?

If I married guy tells a girl that he misses her and proposes to meet in some dark corner, is this acceptable? even if it is supposed to be a joke?

Scenario :

Married guy to girl colleague - Miss you, shall we meet in some dark corner?

Questions :

1. Is this considered unfaithful to married guy's partner?

2. What if married guy "has not done anything"?

3. Can a 3rd party reading this take it to mean as a tease?

Where does the fault starts? From reasoning or behaviour?

Can we safely say that one is guilty of 'sinning in love', even if infidelity does not manifest into behaviour?

I am not commenting the above idea along with the logic of 'One must see fire before one understands the destruction of a conflagration' - but rather, if a fire is sure to occur, there's little you can do to stop it.

In simple: you might be interested to know what's going on between your man and his colleague, but I think prior to that, it's equally important to understand where did the inflection first begin that led him astray potentially. Evolutionary Psychologist would have claim that monogamy is against the instinct of man and it's part of the Natural Selection to spread his seeds - but that's only if human are without cognition and a spiritual soul, as the latter is extremely crucial in our development in Love.

I think we all must come to an understanding that we cannot stop people from leaving or becoming unfaithful if that is what someone desired. Love and marriage is bounded by freewill - even transcendental beings are powerless to meddle against the freewill in Love. Therefore, if this very freewill is geared towards committing transgression, unless components of the source is evolved, if not the consequences are often dire.

Because I do not know your man, neither does your relationship - it's almost impossible to make accurate assessment as you ain't clear yourself. Knowing this, I say, take some ample time to understand your entire issue first. Avoid jumping into conclusion, thinking that your man is promiscuous. There might be suggestions, but there are many dimensions to unfaithfulness and some of these might not be intrinsically motivated (which means that a marriage is still potentially salvageable, for as long as certain components of the push factors is resolved).

P.S: Before I end my post, I just like to say: please do not dismiss divorce from your option totally. I am not encouraging you to consider this ultimatum, but rather, you still must allow yourself this option IF development of your situation becomes irrevocably putrid. Nobody should suffer abuse, neglect or helplessness over a vast period of time, without any viable mode to change their circumstances.

You don't have to use it, but you must be able to find it when you need it.

This is what I am advocating.

Cheers