Aunt Agony 241007

Originally posted by candyx3o:

My bf & I are in different schools. We are only able to meet up once a week or so. He's studying in a co-ed school whereas I'm in an all-girls school. I somehow tend to be jealous & concerned about the girls he mix with. Is this kind of feeling normal?

Is it also normal to be jealous of the girls he once used to be with? I don't know who they are & whether my bf & these girls are still in contact. I would not want to ask him, because it would seem as if I do not trust him. Is there any way to not worry about such things? It's not that I do not trust him but I just have that feeling of jealousy in me. Is there any way to overcome it? Please advice. Thanks. :(

Someone asked me this question (in a slightly different scenario though) and I explained it this way:

'Trust me, you trust your boyfriend - you just don't trust man.'

***

The theory of security in love is as imaginary as the equator; it doesn't quite really exist. And whoever that tells you that it is possible to feel 100% secured; I would tell you that it's rubbish because when you fall in love with someone, technically speaking, you are putting your heart at risk with someone else who might have that chance, no matter how remote the possibility, to drop your crystal-love from his/her hands and shatter the brittle thing.

Unless you don't fall in love - you can't avoid such rich emotions from surfacing, hovering between two extremes.

And the reason why you cannot avoid this ill-feeling because it comes as an entire package in a relationship context. If you want to love and if you want him as a boyfriend, it's almost guaranteed that internally, your emotions will struggle with various degree of intensity from this 'alien' experience.

What you can do depends largely on the kind of wisdom you have in aspects of love and relationship. It's very much an inner evolution as human mature emotionally and it takes experience for you to understand and eventually cope with the natural flow of how your feeling works, so that you keep those 'disruptions' minimal.

I can tell you that it's all about acceptance and how your place your perception to your own advantage to avoid such ill-thoughts and feelings. But you won't be able to do it unless you come to a spiritual realization why you should do that.

You learn to love and in turn, love to learn.

Study your own emotions and dissect them like how you would do that during biology practical. Uncover the reason, in your own world and words, why is it happening and learn to see if it is beneficial to you or your relationship, (looking from a higher perspective) and what would you do to readjust this new-found experience.

You might be a teenager chronologically, but in love, you are but a toddler. Therefore like a child, you first learn by exploration.

Cheers