Aunt Agony II 150606

Quote:

Originally posted by fairyprincess:
my bf and i have been together for almost 4 years.
i love him dearly but he's not exactly the boyfriend anyone wants.

he lied to me for 3 years about this girl he used to like. i forgave him for that. 2 years ago, when he was in the army, he hit me at the slightest thing. i forgave him for that too. after army, he stopped hitting me - he claims its the stress.

anyway, i can tolerate all that but his temper is getting to me. he needs to win at everything. i accomodate him by playing all kinds of arcade, online, rpg games with him (i do enjoy them to a certain extent). but if i win him, he gets angry and if i joke that he's a sore loser - he gets angry too.

i understand how pride is to a guy but is pride everything? i give in to him for everything. he NEVER apologises, even when i'm right, i apologise just so that we'll stop quarreling. i admit i do have my faults as well - nobody's perfect. the thing is - he demands a perfect girlfriend.. and when i can't meet up to his "expectations";, he will demand that i change to what he wants.

he has never given in to me all this while. after a quarrel, we will have a cold war as he will not want to talk to me. i leave him alone to cool down till the next day. but when he calls the next day he will demand i reach his house by a certain time if not i'll "get it from him"

the thing is, i could never bring myself to leave him. maybe cos' everytime he calls i could never have the heart to reject him. i'm gg to australia to study at the end of this month and he's supposed to follow - he has not paid for his fees yet though. i would love for him to go, but sometimes i feel that if he doesn't, maybe i can escape from all this.

i know i should face it and not escape but i don't know how long i can take this from him. i only have a week to decide if he should go with me cos' my parents are gg too and they expect him to go too. advice anyone? thanks

Very strong hint of male chauvinist personality in relationship; strong pride is but a partial product of this effect. Autocratic - with him, demanding to be on the receiving end and implanting idealogy into the relationship. Obviously, it wouldn't work this way, you probably felt how meaningless this relationship has grown to be, despite the fact that you have been together with him for four years.

Is it the length of relationship... Or the call of duty... that made you stay? You can even tolerate violence in relationship; ARE you SURE that what has happen regarding the way he treated you is the ACT of love? Of someone behaving to other in love?

You are in a karmic relationship; outsider don't understand this. (He's probably astrologically intercepted in 5th/7th house)

If you are already hoping that you could go overseas without him, needing that rest-time, I can tell you frankly that during the process of your study there, your relationship will definitely crumble and fall. How much endurance/perseverance can one relationship be, like yours? With such weak bonds, holding on by mere blinded love, your relationship won't be able to survive challenges like this.

With clarity and renew courage, you could probably find the neccessary element to sever the relationship by then.

So my question is, if everything else is so chaotic, why are you still opting for the mess? Thinking that what I have mention above is baseless? Ok, if you could go overseas without him and come back, with your relationship still intact, lunch is on me. Add dinner, or anything you want. It's so predictable because people don't want to make decision for their relationship and because people hate making decision, the relationship falls under the predictable state.

They rather allow circumstances to make decision for them and not taking lead to solve or end problems.

In the end, you lose the relationship because circumstances brings you no choice, not because you had a choice. The difference between ending it now and later, say if the above scenario really took place, is that ONE is the result of wisdom and the other the cause of fate.

I may be fringing` chim or speaking like Greek to you because currently you may not fully understand what this post is trying to tell you until you have been there, done that. Because according to your topic 'Miserable and lost' - you can only be 'peaceful and found' when you make proper decisions for that to happen. Cycle repeats; your suffering continues until you make decent decision for your relationship (To end a relationship doesn't mean evil, sometimes, it can be a loving thing).

P.S: Is your bf a Leo, Capricorn, Virgo or Scorpio?

Cheers