Aunt Agony II 251013

Originally posted by Purpleoceanas:

Dear Auntie Agony

U know I am in the state of confusion for the past one week. I really don’t understand a guy’s thinking.

Here is how the story goes.

I was training at the gym with my friend when a guy randomly approached me for my number. Things went well initially. We agreed to meet up for dinner and movie. He gave me a good impression through the dinner and movie.

I eventually agreed to watch the second movie with him, this time a horror movie – since he was quite enthu about it.  

Half way the movie, he asked me if I was feeling cold – and my response was – nope I am ok since I am wearing a cardigan  and I wasn’t really frighten by the movie coz i like horror movie.

Perhaps he realized that he was getting no where , and he suddenly whispered into my ears saying that he likes me alots and wants me to be his girlfriend and held my hand. I swear my mind was frozen for that second  coz I was really engrossed into the movie.  He asked If I was angry when he held my hand.. I was not angry , but just in state of shock. I did not pull my hand away. But I realized I soon made a mistake.

He became v touchy the moment I didn’t let go of my hand. He pulled me closer to him, and was kissing my hand and head through the movie – which made me feeling super uncomfortable.

After movie, he continue to hold my hand and I did not let go either coz I thought I could give this relationship a try.

He did not want to go home after movie and suggested supper near his house. We took a cab home and in the cab, I did told him that we were moving things abit too fast.. maybe we should slow down thing alittle.

Anyway , after we alighted , we didn’t went supper coz he said he was not hungry anymore. But he said he wanted to drink . so we went to buy a can of beer for both of us at the nearby 7-11. Initially, we were drinking at his void deck. Soon he tried to coax me to go his house. I initially refused, but he pleaded me till I had no choice but to his house.

So we went to his house and his parents were still awake when we entered his house. We went to his room and there was no chair for me to , and I had to sit on his bed while  he go and showered .

At the point, I was feeling v scared coz I felt unsafe and started texting my friend to let her know where I was.

Anyway he was out from the shower and wants to cuddle in bed. ;x which I agree but soon he was getting out of hand – where he tried to kiss me and climbed on top of me which made ma panicked. I was struggling to break free, and making a big fuss of wanting to go home.

At this moment , my friend called, and I answered the call, lying to him that it was my best guy friend who called to check on me. he was really upset that I choose to pick up the call and reported my whereabout to “him”.  We had a minor argument – where he eventually agrees to hold my hand, and hug and kiss me only and he will not force me to go his house again until I am ready.

He eventually sent me home  , and at my void deck, he asked for a goodbye kiss, which I did give him but I pulled away again when he touched my breast. ;x  anyway I went home and I sent him a sorry text as I don’t meant to end thing lidat.

The next day, I went to meet my own friends , and most of them discourage me to continue with him.

He didn’t not text me again until night time – around 9 plus to confirm our meeting on tues( it was a ph) .

I did not  reply as I was out with my friends. And by 11 pm, he got angry that I did not reply and he called me. actually I was drafting a text to him, explaining that I just want to be friend with him first and see how things go. But becoz he become too aggressive ,  I was too afraid to answer his call.

Nevertheless, after some texting ( some exchanges of  nasty words here and there) – we decided to talk over the phone instead. I tried to explain  to him my standpoint. But to him, he keep saying that I am hurting him, gave him a roller coaster ride and playing with him. .. eventually he did give in to my request of just being friends.

After that call, he did not text me again. I tried to contact him – texting him if he still wants to meet on Tuesday, his reply was “ he is already meeting his friend, sorry dear.. “.

 After that text, I did not hear from him again.

I really want to give this relationship a chance but I guess I ruined it with my own hand. 

What should I do if I want to win him back.. but yet I am afraid that he is just after my body. :(



You did not ruin this relationship with your own hands; there is no relationship to begin with, so how can you ruin something that doesn't exist? Technically speaking, you didn't agree to be in a relationship just yet.

You proceeded with intention of a prospective relationship, but he proceeded with the intention of having an express queue to sex. Your womanly instinct already sounded an alarm, which hinted you to text your friend on your whereabouts. Emotionally, you are already confused (together with some alcohol to bring about greater judgment error) - however, I can sense that you still would like to give him a chance (despite all that happenings and your friends' disapprovals).

His own needs has overwhelmed him completely, insofar that your needs are being compromised. He does not appear to be genuinely interested in knowing you as a person, more than knowing how he can satisfy himself physically.

He is looking for a quick physical fix; you have to figure if this is what you want.

Cheers