The entire system of managing the relationship is so deeply entrenched that tweaking parts of it would instantly hurl the couple into their discomfort zone. But yet, some necessary fundamental changes that wasn't adequately learned during courtship will find its way and boomerang for additional 'tutorial' lessons.
Just like our incumbent party has serious problems in trying to reinvent itself; a deeply entrenched relationship-now-marriage will, likewise, finds it hard to do. Evolution is a slow process and the odds of a successful outcome depends largely on the amount of petrol left in the car to push through the winter, so as to catch glimpse of what spring would look like.
Does your marriage feel like this? So for today's post, I will shed some understanding on marital counselling:
(1) If you figure out that you are in need of serious repair in your marriage, it is always better to seek some professional help way before so that repair work could be done in a meaningful way. No doctors are likely able to save you if you wait for cancer to complicates till stage IV, which is likely to be fatal. If that happens, then it brings me to the next point...
(2) Marital Counselling is NOT a miracle
If you don't have the power to resurrect the dead, neither would marital counselling able to revive a dead relationship. Dead is define as the lost of will and commitment to work on the relationship, despite subsequent processing.
(3) If you are hoping that your counsellor will do all the work for you, then you are likely to be in for a shock. Common roles of a counsellor are often (i) to facilitate negotiation, (ii) impart effective communication skills to express needs, (iii) manage conflict and (iv) to prepare the couple for life without the need of the counsellor to perform i, ii, iii.
Cheers
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