Aunt Agony 221211

Originally posted by Freakgeek:

My closest guy friend recently confessed that he likes me. He's a really nice guy, almost an ideal bf for me and although I kinda like him back, I'm at a lost of what to do..

I dont think I'll be a good gf (due to my prev rs) thus I feel unworthy of his love for me..I can get very paranoid and I'm a very insecure person. I admit I'm quite spoilt at times and I'm especially temperamental when its the time of the month. I'm neither pretty nor I'm those girls who put on make-up or dress fashionably well and I fear that I'll be more of an embarrassment for him in front of his family and friends. To put it simply, I'm not somebody whom a typical guy will fall for but he is the type of guy that maybe any girl will fall for..

I honestly fear that if we get together, he'll one day realize that I'm just somebody so ordinary/horrible and I'll end up losing him like how I lost my ex whereby we dont even talk to each other anymore, not even as friends. I treasure our friendship so much so I dont know if I should take the risk in bringing this friendship to a whole new level.

Is it even right for me to think this much? Or are my worries totally uncalled for? What will you do in my situation? Just seeking opinions out there, thanks :(



The conundrum between remaining as friends or progressing further; ultimately it is your call. The ironic fact is that the more reasons we use to justify the existence of a relationship, the less likelihood it would happen. However, I am not advocating for a 'no' - just that we have to decide what is it that we really want and make a choice. Remember this: remaining status quo through inactivity is a choice by itself.

All woman has their own insecurities; in varying degrees some ways or another. I would think that it is natural. However, if you feel that yours are slightly geared outside standard deviation, then you might want to find out the root of this insecurity, what exactly it is and how you would like to deal with them from a personal transformation point of view and not from a relational aspect.

Somehow, your post seemed to suggest that you are not worthy of him; rationally, that is the weakest form of emotional reason/s to justify a 'reject'. Well, if you like something, you just like it. It may not be a big deal to others, but hey, it's your opinion and choice. After all, beauty and love is not structured in a universal format that 'permits' certain exclusive category of people who are capable of being in love and those who are dismissed off this potential. Does not seem to work in that way.

Being in love is a self permitted right; if you decide that you are unworthy, then naturally, in your experience, you have learned that you are unloving and nothing good will ever come out of your love life.

Your belief will end up being a reality.

If having a friend is more important, then you will always find it hard to progress anything further than a bff. Because ultimately, like all things in life, there is always an element of risk. Even the best of relationship has that potential to become something sour. However, if your greatest challenge to proceed further is because you deemed yourself as unloving, then you might want to reflect on how you would want to unlearn this 'lesson' and overwrite it with a positive note.

Once you have self love; your perspective will naturally change.

Cheers