Aunt Agony 101211 (continued from AA 301111)

Originally posted by Jlsky70:

i had a talk with my wife last night. It was not a pleasant talk. After i persistently asked, she finally admitted she is having affair with her colleague and it involves sex. She told me she fell in love with that guy not long after he started wooing her several months ago. He's single and 2 years younger than her. He's also her manager in the company.

I asked her why she do this and what i have done wrong to make her do this. She just said sorry to me and that it wasn't my fault. It's just that she had fallen deeply in love with that guy and willing to give up everything just to be with him. She cried too.

I was extremely sad. I was crushed. The whole world seems to be tumbling down on me. I told her then that divorce is the only way as she doesn't love me anymore and chose to be with that guy instead. She said she will agree to the divorce if i really want it but she still wants our daughter.


It must be devastating to have the whole truth thrown into your face. Though having a HTHT was indeed effective in reducing your suspicion to a conclusion, but still, it must be absolutely heartbreaking and painful when the blow was delivered.

The presence of a third party is concrete; though surely there would be a combination of both push & pull factor/s that helped to generate this unfortunate outcome, I must say that nobody is absolutely the cause. Also, when she appears to be certain that she wants to be with the other man, your stated option was helpless acquiescence. I feel you: having to let your wife go when you discovered that this love wasn't as genuine, almost like false gold with strips of the imitation material flaking out loosely like some cheap goods.

The practical component of the divorce will flow in much later; when you move into proceeding, custody and the affidavit of assets and means. However, that does not always make us feel better emotionally. Right now, I hope you could gather some good friends to share with them about your situation so that you have somebody around you for support at least. Or if you feel that you would like individual counselling to sort yourself out, you could PM me and I could direct (refer) you to the necessary resources. (Don't worry it wouldn't be me and I do not need to know your identity at all).

Please take good care of yourself.

Cheers