Aunt Agony 180912

Originally posted by Frustrated86:

I hope not to expect anybody to flame here, only constructive comments.

I come from a broken family. Father was a gambler and sailor, left my family when i was a child. Mother never remarried. Mother then carry the responsibility of raising me and my elder sister, hawking at the roadside.

So, my education never surpass school. I now work as an assistant chef at a hotel. I toil night and day, in the steamy kitchen. Life is hard. I have few friends and no sociel life and yes I work on saturdays and sundays. Sometimes i have to come to shift-work at 3am to prepare the meals for breakfast.

My pay is low. Now life is getting harder for my family and I. My mother's health has not been great. She suffers from acute asthma. My elder sister got married to an abusive husband. He hits her regularly and he borrows money from the loan shark. The loan shark harass him until he left my sister for good. Now my sister have moved in to stay with us. I have regular fights with my sister over the admin of our home and splitting the money for our daily home maintenance.

So here is my story, I met this girl at the hotel we work, she works at the concierge. We've gone out regularly on dates. I fell in love with her. However, as time goes by, she seem not to be very responsive to me anymore. It was then, I realise that one of the hotel managers was persuing her. He was richer and have more money than me. In the end, the girl explained to me that she had to leave me for a better man who can provide her with better security.

I am so heart broken. I am so poor and no matter what I do, I cannot alleviate my situation. I have no time to meet people because of my job.

I feel demoralised, not knowing what hte future lay for me. I don't think I would be able to find any girl who i can support because they all want richer man. I am starting to realise that women here don't want a guy with a simple salary anymore. THeir expectations have gone up sky high, they want a rich guy.

I also feel very stress because I have to support my ailing mother with her high medical expenses and not be able to afford to buy property. Everything is getting expensive but my salary is still the same.

I would like to take additional educational courses to better my life but i have no spare time and not enough money.

I envy all my former schoolmates who have richer parents, sent them overseas to study, now they come back to take over their father's business, have easy life, drive big car and live in big mansions and marry the beautiful wife. These people always go out and lose their smartphones but next day they easily replace them. Me? I am still using a button handphone.

Is life ever fair? No. I have to toil on. I cannot blame this on my parents. I just have to blame it on fate.

I am struggling to uplift my life, wondering what I should do. The future don't look so good but i have to put on a smile. 



Although it may be hard when our early childhood are filled with challenges and difficulties that limit our opportunities in life, ultimately, it is paramount to recognize that though these events do play a significant part in our life, they do not exist in our future - if that isn't how we want the game to end.

You could accept the way how your past was; but it is an entirely different ball game for your future.

It would be a grave mistake to attribute your misery due to the fact that your love interest chose someone else over you because of money alone. The point is that it may help you to cope better emotionally because having this perspective is certainly easier than making a choice to change a seemingly gloomy destiny.

Perhaps what you lack is not merely a lack of opportunities, but a lack of courage.

I do not know you, but for someone who claims to have little education; I felt that you certainly write decent enough to express your ideas and feelings. And working hard to make a decent living despite having a really tough job is resiliency.

I am not here to judge, but rather, I have a few reflective questions for you to evaluate your own situation.

I) If you remained in your current job and your prospect is limited; how much are you willing to risk doing something different so that you could achieve a different outcome?

II) If you imagine yourself upgrading, what would you see yourself learning/doing?

III) How badly do you want to change your own personal destiny? How much are you willing to commit and work on it?

Cheers