Aunt Agony 160209

Originally posted by deathman:

hello all. i really need comments and advice on my r/s. i'll just summarise my dramatic love life. my bf and i have been tgt for 3 years. after months tgt, he showed his true colours by being abusive to me whenever he got angry or when we quarrel. abusive act like punching and scratching which happens in public too. i gave him alot of chances by forgiving him until a day when i couldnt tolerate, i initiated a break up. he got worried and told me all those stuffs that he'll change and so, i went back to him. it became such a habit that whenever we quarrel, i will always say break because the thinking that he will only be afraid of break up is there. however for the past 6mths, he stopped his abusive act. my cousins and aunt and friends knew about it because its really hard to hide my sadness and thoughts when i know there're there for me and the bruises, scratches are obvious.

yesterday, a love festival, i guess i'm the only pathetic one. everything went well but not the night. we were at esplanade for some chattings and theres a mini concert so we sat and listen. after some time, he told me that his friend would be meeting him over at his place and he is alr there. so we left the concert after about 2-3songs sang. but its true that the songs sang were boring for us. we went to the bus stop and waited for bus. then he suggested taking train which he will never because he always wanna spend more time tgt. he claimed that because the weather is humid and train will be faster and train might have seats. the thing is bus got higher chances to get seats because train is gonna be damn squeezy and going home by bus takes abt 35mins and train-then-bus is gonna take 45mins.

i got no idea why he suggested this but to conclude that he wanna meet his friend sooner. which girl will be happy when your bf is rushing to leave you for his friends? however after he explained while shouting, i understood and wasnt angry anymore. but he still kept repeating saying that i'm very petty and said out all the past where i'm petty and always saying break easily. i didn't shout out the abusive part is alr being kind enough. i didnt talk back because i dont wanna further embarrass ourselves not knowing that he just kept repeating non stop, even till we got up the bus. alot of people were looking at us and i really felt like a pathetic shit. when we were up the bus, he continued saying non stop and its real loud that ppl can hear me and stuff. keep saying that im petty and alr 19 yrs old still saying break all the time (do you have any idea who made me do this)?

alll he wanna do is to embarrass me but he didnt know he is embarrassing himself even more. he even go to the extent to insult my family. he is 20, who is childish here? he whined for real long till i say 'stop repeating alr can', he gave me 2 scratches on my neck. it hurts yes, but my heart definitely hurt more. i dont know if i should forgive him.

Just a day ago, he told me one of our friend, ts, whacked his gf real hard with alot of blood on the face and body. he kicked, punched, slapped and all. he said he is guilty, but the girl deserved it. he said i deserve it too. and he added, with the tone i give when quarreling and the unhappy face i give, i will get punches from him someday. what should i do? he is alr hinting me. i dont know if i can still trust him anymore. because i dont want the past to repeat, i suffered enough in the past.

i had enough. people keep advicing me to leave him but because i know i still love him, i dont have the heart to really ignore him and break up. i kept forgiving while the phrase 'leopard never changes its spot' is reflecting in my mind.

i am real clueless and have no idea what to do. i havent been contacting him since last night, can anyone help?



People who are violent in love often demands a concrete amount of control over something as erratic as love. If one experienced violence over time, fear will eventually displace the position where love used to be. Love cannot be coerced and the truly problematic ones are the one who end up concluding that they needed more force to curb their love ones from running away, one after another.

Such unrecognized personality will naturally formulate the outcome of self defeat for afflicted Mars never win in love (In Greek Mythology, obnoxious Ares is pretty much hated by other Gods over his love for war) and only the notion of willingness could love surrender itself and truly be tied down.

Also, chances are, guys who display aggressiveness and violence in love might brought up in a family where such occurrence are a norm in the household.

Nobody has the prerogative to physically abuse anyone else. If his brand of love means beating, then you probably don't really need it at all.

Cheers