Originally posted by lanjiaolan:
In this dilema ,I have been with this girl for 5 years ,,, honestly the love has faded and only left with responsibility towards her,,,, friend and family have been pressuring me to marry her , i keep asking myself am I the one for her or should I just break off this relationship so she can find someone better and not hold her back ,,, if you are in this stage you know what i mean because we have been together for so long there are bound to be emotional attachment ,,, is not so easy to call off the relationship
Friends been telling me only marry the girl you love and find compatible and someone whom you want to spend their life with ,,, easier said than done,,,, because you cannot find someone like that ,,,, even if you found her she may not accept you in the first place,, anyone in this situation before ..can enlighten me ??
You already find no reasons to be in the relationship and hence, the last thing you ought to do is to put yourself in denial mode.
If obligation is the only reason why you are in it, but before you decide that all is over, you might want to speak to her and trash everything. You might or might not learn that this relationship is truly over and if the outcome is not promising, as least you can work towards an amicable break-up, which is pretty much a mature way of handing issue, rather than opting to run away.
P.S: Relationship is never static - length of relationship does not guarantee everlasting fulfillment or marriage.
Cheers
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Aunt Agony 280209
Originally posted by Jerry1:
Got this news from my gf and it totally broke me down. I have not been sleeping from yesterday till now thinking and thinking.
Have been together with my gf for around 4 months and she has a bad past and she was really truthful about it. Told me basically everything about her past and why she divorced.
To recap a little bit on her background she was actually in a bad marriage with her ex husband for 2 yrs plus due to her ex husband behaviour, basically ignoring her and neglects her. And then she falls in love with an ex colleague which sweet talks her and show her concerns. She also had sex with that cheater colleague due to her love for him.
But it turned out that the guy is actually a cheat and she broke off with him. She also told me another colleague also went after her and he was the relative of the first cheater colleague because they are working in a family owned business. She dun likes him initially but she tried and eventually that guy shows her that he is very sincere and she also falls in love with him. (she actually wanted to use this guy to divert attention so that she can manage to forget that cheater colleague)
But she told me that her last sexual encounter was with that cheater colleague and she has no intimate relationships with this guy initially when we started this relationship. On and off we did discuss about all these stuff and she says that she did not had and sex with this particular guy.
Yesterday she told me that she does not want to hide from me anymore and she did have sex with the second guy (still let him shoot inside). I think she really got poor thinking that nowadays HIV, STDs are so common.
And she lied to me initially because she do not want me to leave her thinking that she is a loose women. (intimate relationships with 2 guys that are actually relatives) She was thinking of telling me the truth but she knows that she is taking a chance of whether I will accept or leave her. But she knows that I will probably leave her after knowing the truth. She was thinking of when to break out the news to me and was planning to do it after valentine day because she really wanna spend that day with her love one and she do not have a good valentine day for many years liao. She actually says that she is guilty of hiding the truth from me initially fearing of me leaving her. But decided to come clean with it because she loves me and do not wan to hide anything from me.
After her telling me the truth, my heart actually went scattered and I was in a complete loss because I really put in my heart and soul into this relationship. She says that it is ok if I wanna leave her because it was her fault and she still loves me (she loves me and dun mind me leaving because she wants me to be happy). She also told me that her feelings for me is completely real and she did love me with all her heart. She did asked me whether I mind her complicated past but I could not answer because it was too sudden for me. A person that I love so much actually lied to me for 4 months, Although she is very truthful on all her past things except this. Now my heart is feeling very sour and I dun know wat to do, if I leave her I will be very very sad and if I stay. The shadow is always there.
The problem with people is that they want to investigate their partner's history, yet their love and maturity are not magnanimous enough accept the outcome.
It's only human if people are very sensitive to 'certain scenario' (open to variety of interpretations), but having that self awareness to understand that since our hearts are not exactly very big to begin with, to pursue relentlessly about people's past is like slapping yourself around a bit with a large trout, while trying to maintain your smile. The question is why then allowed yourself to be confused with all that past when the main fringing thing is to look forward into the future?
That shadow you are talking about is nothing but an illusion of what you perceived as an 'inferior product'. At that very moment when you won the heart of your prized woman, that feeling is akin to a child receiving a present. I am sure that euphoria lasted quite a while.
However, when she poured the truth to you, it's akin to the child opening the present, only to find a broken toy train.
You start questioning yourself like how the child would ask: "how come my present so lousy one?"
But unlike the child receiving the present - can love be inferior?
Or is it because our perception has weaved such a formidable spell, so strong that we began to believe it, even we used to think otherwise?
People talk about love all the time - some even swear by God (you even used words like 'heart and soul...'). But when the real situation arise from nowhere and begin to probe the core fundamentals of your individual definition of this love - the entire structure of that 'cheap-talk' just crumble like a pile of cards, without even the need to say 'lets break-up'.
The relationship just got blown off - like how the little pigs who built their house with straws. Think before you decide to equate your love as prefect, wholesome or 'heart and soul' because they are probably just made of straws - easily shattered by her poignant past.
If you are unable to accept her history, then you might want to consider an exit because you CANNOT change your past. Acceptance is your only bridge to her foolish past. If you decide to love, then you have to walk the talk and learn to build a house of bricks.
Cheers
Got this news from my gf and it totally broke me down. I have not been sleeping from yesterday till now thinking and thinking.
Have been together with my gf for around 4 months and she has a bad past and she was really truthful about it. Told me basically everything about her past and why she divorced.
To recap a little bit on her background she was actually in a bad marriage with her ex husband for 2 yrs plus due to her ex husband behaviour, basically ignoring her and neglects her. And then she falls in love with an ex colleague which sweet talks her and show her concerns. She also had sex with that cheater colleague due to her love for him.
But it turned out that the guy is actually a cheat and she broke off with him. She also told me another colleague also went after her and he was the relative of the first cheater colleague because they are working in a family owned business. She dun likes him initially but she tried and eventually that guy shows her that he is very sincere and she also falls in love with him. (she actually wanted to use this guy to divert attention so that she can manage to forget that cheater colleague)
But she told me that her last sexual encounter was with that cheater colleague and she has no intimate relationships with this guy initially when we started this relationship. On and off we did discuss about all these stuff and she says that she did not had and sex with this particular guy.
Yesterday she told me that she does not want to hide from me anymore and she did have sex with the second guy (still let him shoot inside). I think she really got poor thinking that nowadays HIV, STDs are so common.
And she lied to me initially because she do not want me to leave her thinking that she is a loose women. (intimate relationships with 2 guys that are actually relatives) She was thinking of telling me the truth but she knows that she is taking a chance of whether I will accept or leave her. But she knows that I will probably leave her after knowing the truth. She was thinking of when to break out the news to me and was planning to do it after valentine day because she really wanna spend that day with her love one and she do not have a good valentine day for many years liao. She actually says that she is guilty of hiding the truth from me initially fearing of me leaving her. But decided to come clean with it because she loves me and do not wan to hide anything from me.
After her telling me the truth, my heart actually went scattered and I was in a complete loss because I really put in my heart and soul into this relationship. She says that it is ok if I wanna leave her because it was her fault and she still loves me (she loves me and dun mind me leaving because she wants me to be happy). She also told me that her feelings for me is completely real and she did love me with all her heart. She did asked me whether I mind her complicated past but I could not answer because it was too sudden for me. A person that I love so much actually lied to me for 4 months, Although she is very truthful on all her past things except this. Now my heart is feeling very sour and I dun know wat to do, if I leave her I will be very very sad and if I stay. The shadow is always there.
The problem with people is that they want to investigate their partner's history, yet their love and maturity are not magnanimous enough accept the outcome.
It's only human if people are very sensitive to 'certain scenario' (open to variety of interpretations), but having that self awareness to understand that since our hearts are not exactly very big to begin with, to pursue relentlessly about people's past is like slapping yourself around a bit with a large trout, while trying to maintain your smile. The question is why then allowed yourself to be confused with all that past when the main fringing thing is to look forward into the future?
That shadow you are talking about is nothing but an illusion of what you perceived as an 'inferior product'. At that very moment when you won the heart of your prized woman, that feeling is akin to a child receiving a present. I am sure that euphoria lasted quite a while.
However, when she poured the truth to you, it's akin to the child opening the present, only to find a broken toy train.
You start questioning yourself like how the child would ask: "how come my present so lousy one?"
But unlike the child receiving the present - can love be inferior?
Or is it because our perception has weaved such a formidable spell, so strong that we began to believe it, even we used to think otherwise?
People talk about love all the time - some even swear by God (you even used words like 'heart and soul...'). But when the real situation arise from nowhere and begin to probe the core fundamentals of your individual definition of this love - the entire structure of that 'cheap-talk' just crumble like a pile of cards, without even the need to say 'lets break-up'.
The relationship just got blown off - like how the little pigs who built their house with straws. Think before you decide to equate your love as prefect, wholesome or 'heart and soul' because they are probably just made of straws - easily shattered by her poignant past.
If you are unable to accept her history, then you might want to consider an exit because you CANNOT change your past. Acceptance is your only bridge to her foolish past. If you decide to love, then you have to walk the talk and learn to build a house of bricks.
Cheers
Monday, February 16, 2009
Aunt Agony 160209
Originally posted by deathman:
hello all. i really need comments and advice on my r/s. i'll just summarise my dramatic love life. my bf and i have been tgt for 3 years. after months tgt, he showed his true colours by being abusive to me whenever he got angry or when we quarrel. abusive act like punching and scratching which happens in public too. i gave him alot of chances by forgiving him until a day when i couldnt tolerate, i initiated a break up. he got worried and told me all those stuffs that he'll change and so, i went back to him. it became such a habit that whenever we quarrel, i will always say break because the thinking that he will only be afraid of break up is there. however for the past 6mths, he stopped his abusive act. my cousins and aunt and friends knew about it because its really hard to hide my sadness and thoughts when i know there're there for me and the bruises, scratches are obvious.
yesterday, a love festival, i guess i'm the only pathetic one. everything went well but not the night. we were at esplanade for some chattings and theres a mini concert so we sat and listen. after some time, he told me that his friend would be meeting him over at his place and he is alr there. so we left the concert after about 2-3songs sang. but its true that the songs sang were boring for us. we went to the bus stop and waited for bus. then he suggested taking train which he will never because he always wanna spend more time tgt. he claimed that because the weather is humid and train will be faster and train might have seats. the thing is bus got higher chances to get seats because train is gonna be damn squeezy and going home by bus takes abt 35mins and train-then-bus is gonna take 45mins.
i got no idea why he suggested this but to conclude that he wanna meet his friend sooner. which girl will be happy when your bf is rushing to leave you for his friends? however after he explained while shouting, i understood and wasnt angry anymore. but he still kept repeating saying that i'm very petty and said out all the past where i'm petty and always saying break easily. i didn't shout out the abusive part is alr being kind enough. i didnt talk back because i dont wanna further embarrass ourselves not knowing that he just kept repeating non stop, even till we got up the bus. alot of people were looking at us and i really felt like a pathetic shit. when we were up the bus, he continued saying non stop and its real loud that ppl can hear me and stuff. keep saying that im petty and alr 19 yrs old still saying break all the time (do you have any idea who made me do this)?
alll he wanna do is to embarrass me but he didnt know he is embarrassing himself even more. he even go to the extent to insult my family. he is 20, who is childish here? he whined for real long till i say 'stop repeating alr can', he gave me 2 scratches on my neck. it hurts yes, but my heart definitely hurt more. i dont know if i should forgive him.
Just a day ago, he told me one of our friend, ts, whacked his gf real hard with alot of blood on the face and body. he kicked, punched, slapped and all. he said he is guilty, but the girl deserved it. he said i deserve it too. and he added, with the tone i give when quarreling and the unhappy face i give, i will get punches from him someday. what should i do? he is alr hinting me. i dont know if i can still trust him anymore. because i dont want the past to repeat, i suffered enough in the past.
i had enough. people keep advicing me to leave him but because i know i still love him, i dont have the heart to really ignore him and break up. i kept forgiving while the phrase 'leopard never changes its spot' is reflecting in my mind.
i am real clueless and have no idea what to do. i havent been contacting him since last night, can anyone help?
People who are violent in love often demands a concrete amount of control over something as erratic as love. If one experienced violence over time, fear will eventually displace the position where love used to be. Love cannot be coerced and the truly problematic ones are the one who end up concluding that they needed more force to curb their love ones from running away, one after another.
Such unrecognized personality will naturally formulate the outcome of self defeat for afflicted Mars never win in love (In Greek Mythology, obnoxious Ares is pretty much hated by other Gods over his love for war) and only the notion of willingness could love surrender itself and truly be tied down.
Also, chances are, guys who display aggressiveness and violence in love might brought up in a family where such occurrence are a norm in the household.
Nobody has the prerogative to physically abuse anyone else. If his brand of love means beating, then you probably don't really need it at all.
Cheers
hello all. i really need comments and advice on my r/s. i'll just summarise my dramatic love life. my bf and i have been tgt for 3 years. after months tgt, he showed his true colours by being abusive to me whenever he got angry or when we quarrel. abusive act like punching and scratching which happens in public too. i gave him alot of chances by forgiving him until a day when i couldnt tolerate, i initiated a break up. he got worried and told me all those stuffs that he'll change and so, i went back to him. it became such a habit that whenever we quarrel, i will always say break because the thinking that he will only be afraid of break up is there. however for the past 6mths, he stopped his abusive act. my cousins and aunt and friends knew about it because its really hard to hide my sadness and thoughts when i know there're there for me and the bruises, scratches are obvious.
yesterday, a love festival, i guess i'm the only pathetic one. everything went well but not the night. we were at esplanade for some chattings and theres a mini concert so we sat and listen. after some time, he told me that his friend would be meeting him over at his place and he is alr there. so we left the concert after about 2-3songs sang. but its true that the songs sang were boring for us. we went to the bus stop and waited for bus. then he suggested taking train which he will never because he always wanna spend more time tgt. he claimed that because the weather is humid and train will be faster and train might have seats. the thing is bus got higher chances to get seats because train is gonna be damn squeezy and going home by bus takes abt 35mins and train-then-bus is gonna take 45mins.
i got no idea why he suggested this but to conclude that he wanna meet his friend sooner. which girl will be happy when your bf is rushing to leave you for his friends? however after he explained while shouting, i understood and wasnt angry anymore. but he still kept repeating saying that i'm very petty and said out all the past where i'm petty and always saying break easily. i didn't shout out the abusive part is alr being kind enough. i didnt talk back because i dont wanna further embarrass ourselves not knowing that he just kept repeating non stop, even till we got up the bus. alot of people were looking at us and i really felt like a pathetic shit. when we were up the bus, he continued saying non stop and its real loud that ppl can hear me and stuff. keep saying that im petty and alr 19 yrs old still saying break all the time (do you have any idea who made me do this)?
alll he wanna do is to embarrass me but he didnt know he is embarrassing himself even more. he even go to the extent to insult my family. he is 20, who is childish here? he whined for real long till i say 'stop repeating alr can', he gave me 2 scratches on my neck. it hurts yes, but my heart definitely hurt more. i dont know if i should forgive him.
Just a day ago, he told me one of our friend, ts, whacked his gf real hard with alot of blood on the face and body. he kicked, punched, slapped and all. he said he is guilty, but the girl deserved it. he said i deserve it too. and he added, with the tone i give when quarreling and the unhappy face i give, i will get punches from him someday. what should i do? he is alr hinting me. i dont know if i can still trust him anymore. because i dont want the past to repeat, i suffered enough in the past.
i had enough. people keep advicing me to leave him but because i know i still love him, i dont have the heart to really ignore him and break up. i kept forgiving while the phrase 'leopard never changes its spot' is reflecting in my mind.
i am real clueless and have no idea what to do. i havent been contacting him since last night, can anyone help?
People who are violent in love often demands a concrete amount of control over something as erratic as love. If one experienced violence over time, fear will eventually displace the position where love used to be. Love cannot be coerced and the truly problematic ones are the one who end up concluding that they needed more force to curb their love ones from running away, one after another.
Such unrecognized personality will naturally formulate the outcome of self defeat for afflicted Mars never win in love (In Greek Mythology, obnoxious Ares is pretty much hated by other Gods over his love for war) and only the notion of willingness could love surrender itself and truly be tied down.
Also, chances are, guys who display aggressiveness and violence in love might brought up in a family where such occurrence are a norm in the household.
Nobody has the prerogative to physically abuse anyone else. If his brand of love means beating, then you probably don't really need it at all.
Cheers
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Aunt Agony 120209
Originally posted by Life is a Mystery:
I have a friend who has broken up with his ex-gf of 8 years about 2 years ago. The girl is the one who suggested the breakup, and the reason being he is just not a good bf to her after knowing each other for more than 10 years. When they broke up, the guy was devastated and has tried all means to get her back, but she was so cruel that she even rejected his proposal to get married.
Now ... 2 years later, she came back to him and asked him back, he... on the other hand felt that he has owed her, as he has not been a good bf when they were together. He is a very responsible person and very loyal to who he loved. Therefore he decided to get back together with her.
I felt that this is so unfair to the guy, as I've seen how he got hurt when they broke up... Just because she is not able to find another bf during these 2 years, or maybe she is already 34 this year ... or for whatever reason, she decided to take him back. What do you all think?
Unfortunately, I'm involved with the guy. We sort of have a relationship, but we are not committed to each other. As I know he has never forget about her, and always want to get back together with her. I knew that this day will come, that's why we had a mutual agreement of not committing to each other. I do love him and even though I know I cannot be with him, I don't want to see him being hurt again.
He still listen to my advice, but I'm in such an awkward situation to give him advice. That's why i wanna know if I'm being bias... or I'm giving him truthful advice.
It’s entirely up to his self determination to decide if she could provide him the happiness he seeks at the end of the day. Love doesn’t always run in a linear fashion because we are always placed in pluralistic circumstances that shape our every present moment and even that one micro tweak might be the catalysis to a different decision altogether.
Who says that a relationship of eight years will guarantee a lasting, fulfilling marriage? Probably only in the eyes of an outsider because in the eyes of a stranger, he/she is not part of that wholesome experience and we are always guilty of judging the quality of relationship based on its length.
Of course in reality, that’s completely erroneous.
Anyway, since TS is not the person involved, I shall not go on any further on that part. But I would like to address one other point:
The truth is that it’s not really him who has received unfair dues, much more than it’s you who is feeling the inequality. Your anguish for him is merely a representation of your own innate feelings for yourself – that someone, who once has treated a relationship so lightly, could haughtily return and claim her throne without even a need to contest for it.
And I will tell you how you have inevitably contributed to your own misery.
Your agreement to be involved in a non-committed relationship is, although a logical method of self protection, but this is precisely the agreement that allowed him to persist in pining hope for her because you have given him the consent to use you as an emotional substitute, without a concrete structure, and he doesn’t have the space to recover naturally from his ordeal completely.
I will illustrate in simple words:
When death of a relationship occur, every unwilling party will go through a natural grieving process, in which at the point of conclusion (when that happens) is always the realization and acceptance in their own irrevocable situation and the outcome of moving on, unless there are situations that halt this natural recovery.
Your presence and agreement in maintaining this non-committed relationship unconsciously allowed him to have an emotional shelter for everything else a relationship could offer, minus the responsibility. It’s almost like staying in the house, without paying the rent.
In another words, if he was once emotionally very attached to his ex-gf, then you merely acted (sadly on her behalf) as the tacit support he had once gotten, while endorsing his placid waiting for her. Surely, upon her return and without hesitation, he will leap over to her.
Now a subtle form of self pity has manifested – you are probably feeling short-changed, pondering why he has still choose her, despite your quiet attempt to demonstrate your affection for him.
Your plight is brought about disastrously by the notion of non-commitment because if he was given a choice in the past: a situation where he has to firm the choice between (1) to learn acceptance, commitment and move on OR (2) to create an interim method, to remain uncommitted and to wait?
Theoretically, you tried to eliminate risk for yourself, thinking that you will be safe because this is an ‘uncommitted relationship’, but reality is such that once you have invested in that dubious deal, you are already into it – regardless of how you perceive your situation.
If this is truly ‘uncommitted’, then why is it affecting you?
Maybe it’s self deception, under the façade of uncommitment.
P.S: All uncommitted relationship built on emotional grounds ends up in contradiction and is oxymoron. You can only have an uncommitted relationship if it’s built on physical grounds like sex because it entirely possible to have a sexual relationship, without paying the emotional dollars. You cannot be emotional and yet unemotional - just like you cannot exist and not exist simultaneously (CloUdism).
Cheers
I have a friend who has broken up with his ex-gf of 8 years about 2 years ago. The girl is the one who suggested the breakup, and the reason being he is just not a good bf to her after knowing each other for more than 10 years. When they broke up, the guy was devastated and has tried all means to get her back, but she was so cruel that she even rejected his proposal to get married.
Now ... 2 years later, she came back to him and asked him back, he... on the other hand felt that he has owed her, as he has not been a good bf when they were together. He is a very responsible person and very loyal to who he loved. Therefore he decided to get back together with her.
I felt that this is so unfair to the guy, as I've seen how he got hurt when they broke up... Just because she is not able to find another bf during these 2 years, or maybe she is already 34 this year ... or for whatever reason, she decided to take him back. What do you all think?
Unfortunately, I'm involved with the guy. We sort of have a relationship, but we are not committed to each other. As I know he has never forget about her, and always want to get back together with her. I knew that this day will come, that's why we had a mutual agreement of not committing to each other. I do love him and even though I know I cannot be with him, I don't want to see him being hurt again.
He still listen to my advice, but I'm in such an awkward situation to give him advice. That's why i wanna know if I'm being bias... or I'm giving him truthful advice.
It’s entirely up to his self determination to decide if she could provide him the happiness he seeks at the end of the day. Love doesn’t always run in a linear fashion because we are always placed in pluralistic circumstances that shape our every present moment and even that one micro tweak might be the catalysis to a different decision altogether.
Who says that a relationship of eight years will guarantee a lasting, fulfilling marriage? Probably only in the eyes of an outsider because in the eyes of a stranger, he/she is not part of that wholesome experience and we are always guilty of judging the quality of relationship based on its length.
Of course in reality, that’s completely erroneous.
Anyway, since TS is not the person involved, I shall not go on any further on that part. But I would like to address one other point:
The truth is that it’s not really him who has received unfair dues, much more than it’s you who is feeling the inequality. Your anguish for him is merely a representation of your own innate feelings for yourself – that someone, who once has treated a relationship so lightly, could haughtily return and claim her throne without even a need to contest for it.
And I will tell you how you have inevitably contributed to your own misery.
Your agreement to be involved in a non-committed relationship is, although a logical method of self protection, but this is precisely the agreement that allowed him to persist in pining hope for her because you have given him the consent to use you as an emotional substitute, without a concrete structure, and he doesn’t have the space to recover naturally from his ordeal completely.
I will illustrate in simple words:
When death of a relationship occur, every unwilling party will go through a natural grieving process, in which at the point of conclusion (when that happens) is always the realization and acceptance in their own irrevocable situation and the outcome of moving on, unless there are situations that halt this natural recovery.
Your presence and agreement in maintaining this non-committed relationship unconsciously allowed him to have an emotional shelter for everything else a relationship could offer, minus the responsibility. It’s almost like staying in the house, without paying the rent.
In another words, if he was once emotionally very attached to his ex-gf, then you merely acted (sadly on her behalf) as the tacit support he had once gotten, while endorsing his placid waiting for her. Surely, upon her return and without hesitation, he will leap over to her.
Now a subtle form of self pity has manifested – you are probably feeling short-changed, pondering why he has still choose her, despite your quiet attempt to demonstrate your affection for him.
Your plight is brought about disastrously by the notion of non-commitment because if he was given a choice in the past: a situation where he has to firm the choice between (1) to learn acceptance, commitment and move on OR (2) to create an interim method, to remain uncommitted and to wait?
Theoretically, you tried to eliminate risk for yourself, thinking that you will be safe because this is an ‘uncommitted relationship’, but reality is such that once you have invested in that dubious deal, you are already into it – regardless of how you perceive your situation.
If this is truly ‘uncommitted’, then why is it affecting you?
Maybe it’s self deception, under the façade of uncommitment.
P.S: All uncommitted relationship built on emotional grounds ends up in contradiction and is oxymoron. You can only have an uncommitted relationship if it’s built on physical grounds like sex because it entirely possible to have a sexual relationship, without paying the emotional dollars. You cannot be emotional and yet unemotional - just like you cannot exist and not exist simultaneously (CloUdism).
Cheers
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Chiobu ar!
Just received a PM and I cropped a part of that message (the rest are confidential, so I won't reveal them).
People have this gender crisis over my nick. Somehow, more serious than I thought.
Hmm...
You know, if I am a girl - all the guys in the world going after me will have a tremendous problem because all the tricks in their bags are virtually useless. Using all the shit in my head, I will going to be the most zai zarbo player ever.
That reminded me of the time when I wanted to test out my hypothesis by training 'suitable' woman to be a player.
That never happen - because some of the people which I deemed 'suitable' are too emotional to be able to sustain this sort experiment over a period of time.
Ok - lets not digress.
If I am a girl, how would I look like?
*Flash out picture*
***
***
Cheers
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
New Age AA confront New Age
It's strange how being superstitious actually provide some form of pseudo-explaination about one's current plight and served as a placebo effect when they try to alter/do certain things to bring about 'a change of luck.'
I was talking to a colleague and she mentioned about Feng Shui, changing of name, etc and all that superstitious stuff and somehow believe that it works if you find the right person.
You cannot imagine the kind of difficulty I had to correct all those years of misconception within a short span of ten odd minutes.
How would a change in your chinese name change your life? I mean like why?
As absurd as it sounds, people still continue to believe in that sort of nonsense.
I must explain myself: my knowledge in astrology is merely a tool for self awareness and psychological assessment. In my belief: no amount of crystal, talisman, or whatever can divert the advert of a karmic trigger. The logic is simple: if you want to study your misery (effect), then you examine at the source (cause) where it first began and work towards evolution (future).
To work towards evolution is to take action in changing certain misery caused by our lack of self awareness. That useless crystal, talisman or whatever is not going to change your fate in any ways.
The truth is that if you want to change your fate - you got to change your mind. And before you can change your mind, you got to change your perspective.
People are successful because they adopt personality or mindset that makes them successful.
And it has nothing to do with the piece of jade in their pocket
Cheers
I was talking to a colleague and she mentioned about Feng Shui, changing of name, etc and all that superstitious stuff and somehow believe that it works if you find the right person.
You cannot imagine the kind of difficulty I had to correct all those years of misconception within a short span of ten odd minutes.
How would a change in your chinese name change your life? I mean like why?
As absurd as it sounds, people still continue to believe in that sort of nonsense.
I must explain myself: my knowledge in astrology is merely a tool for self awareness and psychological assessment. In my belief: no amount of crystal, talisman, or whatever can divert the advert of a karmic trigger. The logic is simple: if you want to study your misery (effect), then you examine at the source (cause) where it first began and work towards evolution (future).
To work towards evolution is to take action in changing certain misery caused by our lack of self awareness. That useless crystal, talisman or whatever is not going to change your fate in any ways.
The truth is that if you want to change your fate - you got to change your mind. And before you can change your mind, you got to change your perspective.
People are successful because they adopt personality or mindset that makes them successful.
And it has nothing to do with the piece of jade in their pocket
Cheers
Monday, February 02, 2009
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Aunt Agony 010209
Originally posted by Saint`:
I tried to stay platonic but failed .
U led me on with a glimpse of hope and cuddled me to slp when we shldnt.
Only to know i was there to fill a void in ur heart the next day.
I thought i could win u over.
I thought our differences could be smoothen out with years of understanding.
Yet u said a rls shld be exciting, fun and not familiarity.
I tried but only to find myself miserable and suffocating while u r enjoying singlehood freedom.
U conveniently forget promises , yet i remembered every single thing i ever done for u.
Not for returns , but for appreciation.
Maybe u didnt really take me to heart as ur closest friend/lover.
U told me to stay as close friends.
I said i cant treat u like close friend anymore.
U didnt reply.
I tried.
U smiled.
I felt pain.
U felt nothing.
I think i shld let u go.
Gd bye my best friend.
The notion of platonic is always a full stop.
Hence, the problem lies with your notion of platonic - it was blatantly a comma instead. What happens here is that subconsciously, you perceive her as potential - just not yet manifested. Albeit you might see your effort as one-off-no-return, but the truth is that you are counting. Not just generally, but in some specific, precise manner. I will quote two sentences:
[Quote]:
yet i remembered every single thing i ever done for u.
I tried but only to find myself miserable and suffocating while u r enjoying singlehood freedom.
[/Unquote]
If you are being led by people you deemed as platonic friends, then you have to reexamine the premise of 'platonic' - the definition of what it takes to qualify as platonic.
P.S: Most people are conferring the title of 'platonic friendship' as a facade for potential relationship.
And don't get me wrong - it's great to transform a relationship from a friendship. Just that when you deemed certain relationship as platonic - it is a bond devoid of the romantic and sexual love.
Perhaps it might be so for her, but not so for you.
Cheers
I tried to stay platonic but failed .
U led me on with a glimpse of hope and cuddled me to slp when we shldnt.
Only to know i was there to fill a void in ur heart the next day.
I thought i could win u over.
I thought our differences could be smoothen out with years of understanding.
Yet u said a rls shld be exciting, fun and not familiarity.
I tried but only to find myself miserable and suffocating while u r enjoying singlehood freedom.
U conveniently forget promises , yet i remembered every single thing i ever done for u.
Not for returns , but for appreciation.
Maybe u didnt really take me to heart as ur closest friend/lover.
U told me to stay as close friends.
I said i cant treat u like close friend anymore.
U didnt reply.
I tried.
U smiled.
I felt pain.
U felt nothing.
I think i shld let u go.
Gd bye my best friend.
The notion of platonic is always a full stop.
Hence, the problem lies with your notion of platonic - it was blatantly a comma instead. What happens here is that subconsciously, you perceive her as potential - just not yet manifested. Albeit you might see your effort as one-off-no-return, but the truth is that you are counting. Not just generally, but in some specific, precise manner. I will quote two sentences:
[Quote]:
yet i remembered every single thing i ever done for u.
I tried but only to find myself miserable and suffocating while u r enjoying singlehood freedom.
[/Unquote]
If you are being led by people you deemed as platonic friends, then you have to reexamine the premise of 'platonic' - the definition of what it takes to qualify as platonic.
P.S: Most people are conferring the title of 'platonic friendship' as a facade for potential relationship.
And don't get me wrong - it's great to transform a relationship from a friendship. Just that when you deemed certain relationship as platonic - it is a bond devoid of the romantic and sexual love.
Perhaps it might be so for her, but not so for you.
Cheers
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