Aunt Agony 080908

Originally posted by don't know much:

Friends invited me for their wedding dinner.

Being a generous bachelor, I gave $100 on every dinner which is considered way-too-much for a single person attending. I didn't think like the majority, but rather view going to dinners, as a get-together with old mates.

But today, I changed my mind. I could've chosen not to go to such dinner.

1. Inferior, being a bachelor.2. Is it really a earn-back-all-the-hongbaos for the married couple? Because, most times, Singaporeans always chat about "earning back the hongbaos". Like, conversations revolve around $ $ $$$$ (that is, being kaisu, etc.)

2
Is marriage really that important ?

Is having a partner really that necessary? Say, if a person is independent, he could have all the freedom to do whatever things he loves to. When it comes to old age, he could employ a care-giver.

Love-wise? Hmm. What is love, exactly? When I could've slept with my friend. Not that she's someone whom I love, but rather a at-the-moment lust / fun / whatsoever u term it...

Ideally, you're someone who'd experienced all the wonderful post-marriage life? Or rather, u're a mum/dad of kids?Or you could be doing anything,anywhere... for u're a super independent person enjoying life to its fullest.

If u could enlighten me?

2 points :it's okay not to go for dinners anymore ? (i may inflict damage with their relationship? however i tried to text a buddy who just got married(then)... he didn't reply, so I assume he's busy Organising A Family.) So I shan't give a damn, right?If marriage is really important?



Marriage per se means nothing if it doesn't lead to overall emotional and spiritual fulfillment that many seek to attain. Some people got hold of it without much problem, while others desperately fight to source it. Nevertheless, one cannot divorce Love from their life without feeling some form of inadequacy.

Eric Erikson developmental stages mentioned about Intimacy verse Isolation stage; for if one is unable to achieve intimacy, isolation is likely to occur for an individual.

I met a few people who argued that they did not need Love in their life at all. Absolutely.

Then again, though the quality of their life might not suffer as they will not encounter the typical woes that besiege a relationship, but critically, the richness of life as a whole will greatly be amiss and will inevitably cause some form of stagnation. Though one wouldn't die without Love, but one cannot seek to leverage much from a life devoid of Love. Of course, one can seek to substitute this lack through active involvement in various causes, but that's only if the individual is motivated to act in this manner. Sometimes, people lacking in love are just about leading inane lives with little meanings as well, which worsen the void further.

In Astrology, there is a pattern of Saturn affliction, involving people having difficult relationship with others. This difficulty stems from loneliness, superiority complex, overly rigidity or emotional crystalization - usually influence by karmic ties with the notion of Love.

I must emphasize this point: everyone has different internal root reasons for the external cause of isolation. People might be similar, but no two developmental process and the attitude towards those processes are the same.

My question to you is simple. 'Why ain't marriage important?' Or Love, for example, if marriage seemed a little too far fetched.

You probably might want to understand why would you place yourself in such pessimism and negative attitude towards it. You might want to analysis the route tracing to your innate belief and then seek to undo some of the negative values that might have been unconsciously promoted during your growing up years.

Then you might just answer your own question unwittingly.

Cheers