Aunt Agony 140816

Originally posted by: gigabyte14

guys, i made a terrible mistake...

its like i made a girl really sad, and cried too

its like im afraid of commitments, like i will automatically think far, and its like emotions will get the better of me in future... imagine, imagine i wanna go overseas study, or work, and in the end because of emotional ties i will be like choose everything other than my happiness

summore recently the ppl ard me are like divorce and breakup, it makes me think that everything can be so unpredictable, it freaks me out

religion clashes too, i know it wont affect me now, but in the future it'll definitely affect

shes happy, but im not, im just not the kind of commitment kinda person, and i just... made her cry

its like better to end the smaller picture in order to make the bigger picture work

am i doing the right thing?



Honestly, if you would to relook at what you have typed, your fear of commitment has pervades every single mote of your thoughts and rationalized them into some 'linear causal fashion' as if life indeed runs in some orderly manner. Added with tint of non-related deduction like social observation from people's failing relationship is kinda bull as well.

I find it absurd whenever people say things like 'everyone's relationship around me is failing' and they use it as a factor (no matter how minute) to deter them from engaging in possible meaningful relationship. It's almost like a gambler's fallacy, when you made use of factors that makes no sense to unique situations because every set of game is different - just like every possible combination of relationship in any given time is vastly different.

In US alone, one car-accident-related death is accounted for every passing 13 minutes. If we use the world statistic, it would probably be insane. So does that means that we don't walk the street or drive any cars because a number of people around us are dead because of car accident?

It doesn't matter what decision you make because the point of my post does not address the morality of your decision, which it is absolutely insubstantial to me. What is of a concern is how your conceptualize your reasoning which give rise to your final decision.

From what I am seeing, religious conflict is the only real issue. Well, perhaps you might want to be brutally honest with yourself on what's the real shit that isn't really workable here and avoid dumping unnecessary components in your reasoning to 'beef up' your justification - more quantity does not mean more reasonable.

Are you willing to compromise in the framework of a relationship or you prefer to pursue your individualistic goals? It does not necessarily be an either or, but in your own private scaling, how much are you willing to relent towards the other side of the scale that isn't part of your grand plan? Many times, there are middle grounds that we could tread, not just caught between a rock and a hard place.

Learn to remove 'rightness' and 'wrongness' in any decision. Decisions are neutral. There are only wise and unwise choices. Willing or unwilling choices. If you cannot determine what is wise and unwise, then you decide what you are willing or unwilling to undertake.

Cheers