Final Post

This would be my final post on my relationship with her.

I think life is mystically interesting - going by Carl Jung concept of Synchronicity, I can see that happening in my reality: the little subtle 'support' bar for me to pick myself up always materialize mystically every time when I needed that little push for me to bounce back - each time higher than the previous.

I think because life has detected several pieces of broken glasses in me and easily trampled by the overwhelming meaningless thoughts of my adamant intensive mind that seeks to depress the state of my life condition. I was assisted whenever I truly needed the assistance, in the most unfathomable ways.

I had a dream yesterday and in my dream, I was walking across several places, feeling extremely tired from the ordeal. But eventually, I seemed to reach a place and the surreal imagery ends there. There was no recollection of the ending, just blackness.

You see life is full of surreal imagery, as if nothing is indeed permanent in this world. I instantly understood my dream - as if my subconscious is telling my conscious mind something.

I used to think that I lost something very important - which constitute a very significant part of my life that label almost 'everything'. Then in retrospect, I cannot lose something which I don't own in the first place because Love is not a possession acquired like how we purchase goods. You have the freedom to decide what you want in life and love, just perhaps that through this freewill, unfortunately, you seek for something else in which this relationship cannot sate and accommodate your change of needs.

I realized that I don't hate you for your deeds - I only hated you for your silence and all that acting. At the end of the day, everything just falls apart with time because you cannot sustain this screen forever. What hurts is that I am given with facade information to manage my recovery, other than the real truth told in my face, in which the latter was revealed gradually as time passed along. That way helped you to manage your guilt of cheating me, but not as mature adults on amicable split.

You are still a little girl after all these years, but what I really need is a woman.

I hope he treats you well.