Aunt Agony 050809

Originally posted by Chipmuck:

Roughly 18mths ago, I met a married man via msn. Somehow he had been in my contacts list for very long and but we never really chat. Then one day he suddenly initiated a chat and this is how we began. I clearly remember it was so when near his birthday (01 May). He told me that his birthday never once a perfect one as everyday there's a birthday but I begged a different.

He was sensitive when I first met him but when days go on he had changed or perhaps I don't know him well enough. This man drove me insane. There's a lot of things happening between us.He had changed my life. I did a lot of things for him yet to him is only a game. Sometimes I don't understand what is a man's feeling?

My first abortion was about 10mths ago which belong to him and without giving a thought and the only replied from him was abort it. That made me so guilty and regretted that I believe him and went for an abortion. He did not accompany me to that abortion but was at a golf game. Neither had he come up after his golf game to show his concerns. That made me turned to alcohol every night.

At that time of point, I'm having issues with my family members as my dad's health was getting bad. I got to hide my abortion from him which was pretty difficult. Dad noticed me abusing alcohol daily and started to ask why. My replied was I am fine. My dad given him a nickname calls "Chipmuck". After my first abortion, we had lessen our meeting as he always claimed that he's busy due to slow market (Run a PI car in the north) and I finally knew that it was excuses.

2 months after my abortion, my dad passed away. I was lost and didn't know what to do. I believe my life got to be rough and tough down the road. On the first night of my dad's funeral, he came down. Not to console me but telling me what happened between his wife and him. All I can do was just to listen.

I'm not a prefect woman but yet I still had my feelings. My feelings to him were like a trash. I was pregnant again from him. This time I do not know how to bring up to him because I knew his answer will still be aborting it. I was lost again but I told myself I will not abort it again hence I turned to my friends.

This news travelled to his wife's ears and got him pissed off. He came down with 3 men to confront me. His friends did not do anything to me but their words seems indirectly insulting me (maybe I'm too sensitive).

Throughout the whole meeting, Chipmuck had been cursing and swearing there. Scolded me will a lot of unwanted remarks and claimed that he do not want to see the baby to be born. I clearly remember one thing that he told me was "My wife wasn't a simple woman, between you and me were merrily a game."

I was disheartened. He lied!! Once he told me that when have me around he felt that I'm too sticky and without me around he felt werid. And the next moment he told me between us were merrily game.

I were so upset and left Singapore to Perth. In Perth, I were enjoying the relax lifestyle but it doesn't help at all. I heard he was telling others that what I'm carrying is a bastard and got nothing to do with him. I'm can easily go to bed with others that pissed me even more.

I was thinking that I want him to own this up and go for a DNA test. Is there anywhere to get his name on my son birth cert even if we are not married? I don't even know what I'm doing and I tried to call him a lot of time but he refused to answer. Why does he got the guts to tell others but not me?

I'm on my 7th month pregnancy, I was thinking if I will bring my son to his office after I have deliver and make him own it. I don't expect anything from him but I want to let him know that my son is not a bastard. Now my love to him had became hatred.

Can anyone advise me what to do? If i turn to my friends again, they will definitely stand by my side. I need a natural reply without judgments.




I am seriously worried about your choice of actions. If you re-read your own post a couple of times, you could have realized that you have made decisions that often resulted in putting yourself into dire consequences, which you end up paying dearly for. This payment littered with misery and much emotional turmoil.

Your alcohol consumption merely suggested an avoidance mindset and gradual impairment of your judgement, which is a common behavioral pattern for an individual in a deceptive relationship (affliction in Neptune). Please avoid abusing alcohol (if you haven't stopped) because you will end up creating another set of problem for yourself. At this juncture, your plates are way too full to introduce another set of issues to digest.

Your emotional instability would have contributed to your lack of insights and awareness to remove this man away from your life for good. And this is in fact a classic karmic relationship - albeit our actions might seemed like pretty random decision/s shaped from our thoughts - but the constant fueling of this extremely disruptive relationship over and again, only suggested the karmic ties that bind you towards him, in a vicious debt cycle.

His needs are quite simple - he is having a bad marriage, hence he naturally seeks for transitory comfort outside - for both sex and emotional dependency.

Because you too have unresolved needs, you provided him the platform and this breathe life into the entire sub-rosa relationship.

If you have thoughts to engage in any form of a relationship with someone that is unavailable (especially married) and if you perceive that you will be happy with this arrangement - this delusional outlook will guarantee you nothing but misery. Your cosmic lesson only needs to teach you once - however, if you find yourself having to learn the same grade more than once, you know you are in some serious delusional mode that needs immediate attention, clarification and enlightenment.

Your decision to give birth to this child carries a dangerous agenda. It has now evolved into a weapon spawned from your hatred. You must be aware that the child, regardless of the circumstances that he/she is brought into this world, is innocent (although surely the karmic relationship between you and your child would definitely be intensive).

Having friends to stand by yourself side might be the kind of emotional support you really need right now, but ultimately, it's the unresolved issues nesting within you that needs to be tackled. You see, at the end of the day, your decision in wanting to proof to him that the child is his, only acts to deepen your own pain and suffering and does nothing in value to relief your situation.

You have made two unwise decisions so far (sex without protection that got you pregnant twice) - please do not let yourself sink into another bout of folly in name of hatred because mark my words, you will only have more to lose.

Your decision should now revolves about thinking how you are going to take care of this child. Everything else is superfluous. Raising up this kid is going to be one REAL issue that you have to manage (you can't depend on that jackass anyway).

Cheers