Our past, albeit it has everything to do with where we are
at now, is but an illusionary aspect of our reality. Our mind thoughtlessly stored
memories of our past, creating a husk of an empty coconut whose original
function of protecting its content has been made redundant. Picking up the
shell no longer holds meaning, other than a cruel reminder of our choice we
made in the distant past.
That is therefore the pain of regret; helpless and wistful.
The Buddha has it right; truth is that all things are impermanent. The bad news is that good decision doesn't remain right all the time, while the good news is that our misery will not continue forever as well.
I will share a short story, which I feel that it captures that essence on the pain of regrets:
***
One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have no right teaching others," he shouted. "You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake."
Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?"
The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift."
The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself."
"If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy."
***
Regret, like anger, is a self-inflicted pain. Perhaps, it is not so much about being accepting about circumstances, much more than the realization in learning to let go of things that isn't meant to be.
The Buddha has it right; truth is that all things are impermanent. The bad news is that good decision doesn't remain right all the time, while the good news is that our misery will not continue forever as well.
I will share a short story, which I feel that it captures that essence on the pain of regrets:
***
One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have no right teaching others," he shouted. "You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake."
Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?"
The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift."
The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself."
"If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy."
***
Regret, like anger, is a self-inflicted pain. Perhaps, it is not so much about being accepting about circumstances, much more than the realization in learning to let go of things that isn't meant to be.
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