Aunt Agony 160310

Originally posted by Alpha Omega:

Currently i am in a very good relationship.

She is caring, understanding, loving, not materialistic, etc.

She also is currently in a good paying job and is earning a lot more than me, probably 1.5 times more.

However, here lies the problem, she comes from a very poor family and i do not.

I do live in an good surburb in the west side of Singapore and my family will soon acquire a condo in a prime area of Singapore.

I always somehow get this feeling that she is with me not because she truely loves me but because getting involved with me will move her up the status ladder in the long run should we get married because of my family background and her family background as well.

She has never openly mentioned something like this, but then again who would?

Are my fears valid or am i too paranoid?

Well she doesn't treat her family well, she used to live in a 3 room HDB flat but has since moved to an aunt's place.

In her family its survival of the fittest because i heard that when she was young her family did not even take care of her, did not give her allowance, and she was made to starve often from Secondary school all the way thru Uni.

Her parents are divorced which contributed to the situation.

The thing is, she has stated many many times if my current place will be where we will live should we get married.

Sure she has more earning power now, but she had a 3 year head start ahead of me in working.

I don't mind her background but i don't want her to have the wrong intentions because many people get discarded by their spouses should they fall upon bad times financially.

Besides i am not even thinking of the house and if we don't get it then we will move out to a HDB, but it seems like that is not the case with her because she gives me the feeling that she doesn't feel otherwise.

and if its not such a big deal then why she kept asking the questions on where we are to live? Is it really that bad to live in a HDB flat? because by her intention in asking persistantly if we are going to live in my current place in, it gives the signal that it is not acceptable to live in a HDB flat because she experienced my current place, even though she has been living in a 3 room HDB all her life.





Does she loves me for who I am or does she actually prefer my money more? This question is almost like asking if a newborn would end up being a criminal or a successful person.

You seriously will never know because it depends on how the relationship is being led, akin to how a child is being taught.

It’s interesting when people decide that they want someone to see them ‘for who they are’ when in reality they might exhibit a persona that depict the ‘self’ in which they actually reject as their ‘real’ self (in western astrology, this is probably attributed by the ascendant). If this is the root of your worries, then it is a problem in self marketing, much more then the personality of the person you have attracted.

Because, in simple, we attract the qualities we exude (CloUdiSm).

But it takes a lot of self awareness or enlightenment from others (due to our unconscious blind spots) to even perceive that phenomenon.

If this wasn’t the case, your issue actually lies with your point of selection. As a general statement: as much as a woman seek comfort in marrying ‘upwards’ and a man seeks pleasure in physical gratification, a relationship is but mutual exchange of needs, cutting across various dimensions. Surely, there must be existence of mutual needs before a relationship would makes any logical sense; there is no such thing as an absolute unconditional love in any love relationship – anyone making such a claim will end up in contradiction. Unconditional love in BGR exists only in relative sense, but never in any absolute manner.

First Law of love (CloUdiSm) states: it is we who choose our partner, not the other way round. Therefore, if this is the woman you have accepted as your significant other, then it will inevitable question your decision at the point of decision – why her then?

You must understand that love produces an interconnected dependency on both parties to function effectively. You have chosen her for your own individual reason – the question on the authenticity of her love based on your scenario may not be accurate. You know, it could also be equally plausible if I were to explain that your woman have deep underlying developmental issues during her early childhood, which caused her insecurity to project her thoughts in a certain manner, instead of a potential gold digger.

Perhaps you would like to understand her first. Fundamentally, if you want your woman to see you as ‘who you are’, then perhaps she might also want you to see her as ‘who she is.’

Cheers