Aunt Agony 240608

Originally posted by confused heart:

its been years since we broke up... i left her cos we had too much quarrels...

now, we each live our seperate lives... each attached to our own partners...

she's with the guy whom appeared when our relationship were nearing the end..

i hate myself for letting her go.. till this day, i cant forgive myself

i dream of her every now and then and it really hurts me till this day when i wake up from such dreams...

its like i can never let go... its like a part of my heart is dead ... its with her ..

i cant love my current partner whole heartedly but i cant let her know the truth

it hurts too that i say "i love you" when deep inside, i know its not completely

i hate to have to lie for the rest of my life...

i cant turn to my friends anymore... they all say the same thing ,

let her go if you really love her, its over, stop holding to the past

i know all these but my heart just fail me when i try to get over it

i really hope time will heal, because it has not till today..

or will it be the regret that will follow me for the rest of my life?

i really dunno... sometimes i feel like running away from everything but i know i cant run away from this feeling... i want to face it but i don't know how to...

i know i need help but there's no one i can turn to anymore...

it's all my fault.. my fault... i cant forgive myself for letting her go to someone else..



Fixidity.

Too much of that element fuels the inability to be adaptable and too much endurance to burn.

That's probably one of the top few gross misconception people often have about Love - they reason to themselves that if they remain unchanged till the very end, it probably suggested that their Love is the ultimate truth.

However, there's a clause in this belief; it's only when Love is mutual. In all other cases, it's almost karmic - like a devil lurking behind the stone idol.

And the latter is simply narcissistic.

Before people begin to congregate in this topic and start preaching perseverence in being narcissistic in Love, allow me to throw a question (as well as to the floor): why do you even think that your brand of Love is the greatest of all and that she has no one else but you to accept this lifetime?

In short: who are you?

The truth is that you love yourself the most; insofar you don't exactly consider the other person's growth and perspective as much as your own indulgence in possessing the other person, like some insatiable hunger. You are feeling so much pain and misery is because of your refusal to understand that your 'perceived Love' is based on a superficial belief of harbouring a non-existing relationship.

It amazed me at how you could felt so anguish about the failure of your previous relationship, yet the crisis has taught you absolutely nothing beneficial to implement into your current relationship, other than this senseless pinning for a lost cause. You ought to keep the memory of your failure to strive towards a brighter future in all aspect of Love and not dwell so much in your own intense emotions till it misled you into this whirlpool of depression and a confused state of mind.

If you cannot handle it, then avoid putting yourself in such a predicament. Learn to release yourself from this emotional bondage and live a free man.

You can only move if you enlighten yourself the reason to move. And the reason to move cannot come from others - it has to be from within.

Cheers