Aunt Agony 260405 II

Quote:

Originally posted by Joyless:
When we first starting going together, I told him that the relationship won't last as both of us have different characters and upbringing. He told me that these are not potential problems as long as we compromise and work things out.

As the relationship develop, we have some arguments. He feels that I'm too family-orientated. He told me to commit more time to him and I tried to comply to his request, by spending more time with him. But we have some other arguements as the ways that we handle matters are different. He always say that I don't listen to him. During the years that we're together, he put in more effort than me to maintain the relationship.

I went for a holiday with my friend for a week. He came to see me when I'm back and he told me that he did not miss me at all when I'm away. The next day, he told me that he had enough and want us to be friends. He said that his heart has turned cold, and once his heart has turned cold, nothing is impossible.

During the week of break-up, he did sms me occassionally, asking me how am I. He told me to hang on and he feels hurt when he knows that I'm feeling miserable. He also told me that he still care for me.

I thought that there is some chance of salvaging the relationship, thus I told him to forget the past and let us start afresh. He told me that it's impossible.
I asked him why he's willing to give up all the efforts that he has put into the relationship just like that.

He did not answer me and today, he messaged me. He told me that the spark has died, thus he gave up. Moreover, he has get to know someone recently and he has started going out with her. He also mentioned that he wish us to be friends. He told me that if I did not go for the trip, things might not turn up in this way.

I know that I've to get over him, but my heart told me to wait for him. It has been three weeks since we break, but he's constantly on my mind. Actually, we plan to get married at the end of this year.

I'm really at a loss now. Should I forget about him and ignore him? Should I wait for him? I really don't know, he's like a changed man overnight.

The spark that has died, is indeed the absence of fighting spirit and willingness to remain in a relationship. (I mentioned in ~lyn~ topic on 'Asking too much'. This is definitely a classic example of man who desire to leave, with or without any proper reason - that's if you can accept this as a reason at all).

YOUR relationship begin on a basis where challenges are laid obvious in your path. Courage are gathered and you both move through the treacherous route and with the power of love, your relationship remain intact and seemingly alright.

The catalysis is the one week holiday. So surprisingly, the Venus/Mars caveman theory actually applies here; the time you were gone is exactly the time he took to review/preview his relationship. (Of course this is but half the catalysis) Three years has passed, the treacherous path remains threatening still - he looked ahead and instantaneously become tired emotionally. You mentioned that he dump in alot of effort; his mind started questioning his heart - is that what he want?

Another woman walked into his life (this makes up the other half). She MAY not be equipped with the love you and him had foster, but certainly, when he looked ahead into the path with her, the route seemed easier to walk. This is a fatal attraction for your bf to leave the relationship, thinking that the spark had died, when another had entered into the picture and MADE him realise all that thingy.

How do I know if the mind is questioning the heart?

Quote:

During the week of break-up, he did sms me occassionally, asking me how am I. He told me to hang on and he feels hurt when he knows that I'm feeling miserable. He also told me that he still care for me.

Mental power is strong and manage to convince the heart to give up the challenge he opt to undertake three years ago.

P.S: Move on. Although, things are going way too fast and create much blurness, your missing nature is NATURAL, so do not mistaken something natural as a sign to wait for him. Wait is but a foolhardy attempt to revive the relationship. What dead is difficult to resurrect and you must attempt to leave the burning village, before the flame engulf your soul. (Likely Uranus Transit)

Cheers.